Anyone good at making thesis statements?

[Mississippi]

I need a good thesis statement to start my paper on Nelson Mandela but can't think of anything good. I turned in several samples to my teacher and all she said was, "that's not good enough". I'm starting to get frustrated. Can anyone help me with this?

[canadianballer]

well your topic is mandela but what is it about ? his life? his accomplishments?

[AppleNader]

I need a good thesis statement to start my paper on Nelson Mandela but can't think of anything good. I turned in several samples to my teacher and all she said was, "that's not good enough". I'm starting to get frustrated. Can anyone help me with this?

well...it would help if you told us what in particular you are writing about.

[Mississippi]

On his life as a whole. Accomplishments, imprisonment, Early Life, etc.

[crounsa810]

Could u please tell us the theses that you submitted so we know what won't work?

[crounsa810]

Not knowing what your teacher wants, I was always taught to keep your thesis simple and to the point. Maybe something like "While Nelson Mandela had to endure many struggles, in the end he came out victorious." or something along those lines.

[enayes]

Unlike most people during this time, Nelson Mandela never stopped fighting. His heart and courage seperated him from everyone else. :confusedshrug:

[halffttime]

if i remember correctly a thesis is what your trying to prove in the essay right? so just write out in a sentence what the essay is about..

[XxNeXuSxX]

Unlike most people during this time, Nelson Mandela never stopped fighting. His heart and courage seperated him from everyone else. :confusedshrug:
This is a very lacking and general statement. You have to put an assertive claim to make anything interesting; the same is met with a basic thesis statement. Who cares if he separated from everyone else? I'd care if his heart and courage, perhaps, made him known as the most prolific scorer in NBA history. Introduce some sort of argumentative claim and try to prove it. (yes, that's a fallacious example)

[enayes]

This is a very lacking and general statement. You have to put an assertive claim to make anything interesting; the same is met with a basic thesis statement. Who cares if he separated from everyone else? I'd care if his heart and courage, perhaps, made him known as the most prolific scorer in NBA history. Introduce some sort of argumentative claim and try to prove it. (yes, that's a fallacious example)


Well I'm not the one writing the essay, at least I tried :lol

[Hawker]

Something along the lines of what crounsa and enayes and nexxus said.

"Despite the many obstacle Nelson Mandela faced, he was able to fight through them with courage and heart to accomplish something far greater than himself."

I don't know much about the dude but I assumed he did something real special for discrimination in South Africa.

[RedBlackAttack]

You need to create an argument in a thesis statement (as explained above). Think about Mandela's life and figure out a specific area in which you want to explore. Whether it be the discrimination he has faced, his time in prison, his rise to political power...

You need to pick something specific or your thesis statement and your paper will likely be all over the map and far too broad for what your professor is seeking.

When developing your thesis and the position that you will attempt to prove, use things like cause and effect or contrast to create a relationship thesis (always the easiest, imo).

If you narrow down your field of study on the subject and focus your attention on one aspect of his life, we could probably better assist you in creating a proper thesis statement. But, it doesn't sound to me as though you are ready to write a thesis.

A thesis isn't the first step in writing a thesis paper. Study Mandela's life and find conflicts, situations that occurred during the course of his life that led to his incarceration/accomplishments. Narrow it down.

[Mississippi]

Thanks for the help guys.

[Odomize]

how about quoting someone?

Mandela's life can be summed up perhaps by what a young South African girl told Mandela on his 90th birthday: "Dear Madiba, on your happy day, we thank you for uniting the people of our country, so that all children can grow up together, never mind what language they speak or color they may be. Happy 90th birthday."

[Hawker]

how about quoting someone?

Mandela's life can be summed up perhaps by what a young South African girl told Mandela on his 90th birthday: "Dear Madiba, on your happy day, we thank you for uniting the people of our country, so that all children can grow up together, never mind what language they speak or color they may be. Happy 90th birthday."

I always thought quoting someone was very typical. It always felt like the easy way out since you couldn't think of anything yourself.

[Odomize]

I always thought quoting someone was very typical. It always felt like the easy way out since you couldn't think of anything yourself.
It is like saying: this quote really reflect what I want to express better than I can write it myself.

While typical, it's much better than writing a corny line or a bad one. It's safe for non writers, you cannot go wrong with it provided it's a good and relevant quote.

[dwight20-20]

how about quoting someone?

Mandela's life can be summed up perhaps by what a young South African girl told Mandela on his 90th birthday: "Dear Madiba, on your happy day, we thank you for uniting the people of our country, so that all children can grow up together, never mind what language they speak or color they may be. Happy 90th birthday."

im pretty sure you're not supposed to use quotes in thesis statements.

[Alonzo Magic]

I had to write a Persuasive piece on Abortion. I had a little trouble with the beginning so I decided to use a quote. This was the quote I used:

Russian born American Novelist Ayn Rand eloquently states my contention.
“I cannot project the degree of hatred required to make those women run around in crusades against abortion. Hatred is what they certainly project, not love for the embryo, which is a piece of nonsense no one could experience, but hatred, a virulent hatred for an unnamed object. Their hatred is directed against human beings as such, against the mind, against reason, against ambition, against success, against love, against any value that brings happiness to human life. In compliance with the dishonesty that dominates today's intellectual field, they call themselves 'pro-life’.

It really helped me on my way to state my contention.

This was a fair few years ago when I was in the 11th grade in High School, it got me an A. This sh*t wouldn't fly in University though. (I assume you're in College?)

[Hawker]

Ya, if you're in HS use a quote. Those english HS teachers go apesh!t for quotes.

I took english at a cc with an awesome prof and she told us NEVER to use a quote in your introduction b/c it's one of the corniest things you can do.

[Alonzo Magic]

Exactly - Use it if you're in High School.

Otherwise in University it's as original as stating you want to become a doctor so you can 'help' people. It just feels like you were stuck and you needed a filler.

Btw, how long is your thesis supposed to be? I had a 22,000 word thesis on the Russian revolution last year. Sh*t nearly killed.

[Mississippi]

Exactly - Use it if you're in High School.

Otherwise in University it's as original as stating you want to become a doctor so you can 'help' people. It just feels like you were stuck and you needed a filler.

Btw, how long is your thesis supposed to be? I had a 22,000 word thesis on the Russian revolution last year. Sh*t nearly killed.
It's a 4 page paper so I need a good thesis to base my paper off of.