the 2009 Pittsburgh Steelers vs. ONE Silverback Gorilla

[-primetime-]

:oldlol:

yes, this question is silly and stupid...but try to answer seriously

who wold win in a fight?

http://sportsposterwarehouse.files.wordpress.com/2009/02/11.jpg

the entire 2009 Pittsburgh Steelers 53 man roster...

VS.

http://www.silverback.com.au/images/Silverback_gorilla.jpg

ONE Silverback Gorilla

_________________

After this past chimp attack (which was awful, no disrespect ment btw) I think that alot of us got a sudden realization of just how dominating and powerful a chimp really is...

A small chimp is fully capable of ripping an adult male to shreds in just a few minutes...

So how would the Steelers fair up against a Silverback?

Let's say that they have to fight in a football feild sized area completely caged in...no weapons or pads...they are just wearing street clothing...(jeans, t-shirt, nikes)

so who would come out on top in this match up?

I am thinking that the Seelers would eventually kill it, but that the Gorilla will have killed about 30 of them before it gets tired and goes down...

[LaLuzdeLucyfer]

Doubt it would take more than six Steelers. Humans do have brains you know and would target vulnerable areas be it eyes. testicles, armpits, head shots and even underneath that coarse, black fur a Silverback can be hurt.

Keep in mind that they're naturally peaceful creatures but warrior-like strength. Deadlifting over a ton to two tons and forearms juiced enough to literally tear people apart limb to limb. They'd be preoccupied with two and four Homo Sapiens can sneak around and dish damage.

[johndeeregreen]

After this past chimp attack (which was awful, no disrespect ment btw)
I realize this is a very casual forum, and that spelling has really no bearing on what you do for a living, but "ment"? Seriously?

[Legendofthe718]

I realize this is a very casual forum, and that spelling has really no bearing on what you do for a living, but "ment"? Seriously?
LOL I saw that too but I've learnt to bite my tongue when I come across such obvious grammatical errors.

[mlh1981]

James Harrison could take down the gorilla by himself.

[johndeeregreen]

LOL I saw that too but I've learnt to bite my tongue when I come across such obvious grammatical errors.
I usually don't care; mistakes happen, but I mean come on.

[-primetime-]

one decent reply from LaLuz?

no one else thinks this crazy match up is interesting??? :oldlol:

oh well...

logged in all eager to see debates on what it would take to kill a silverback and got a grammar correction instead...:(

[A.M.G.]

If the Steelers worked together they could win. It would be really hard to kill it without weapons, I mean beating the gorilla to death would take a LOT.

Maybe if they worked together to like trap the thing, like have 6 guys grab one arm, 6 grab another limb, etc, then get a bunch of dudes on its back to weigh it down, then once you have it kind of trapped on the ground, have a few guys just kick it in the head until it's dead.

If the Steelers didn't organize themselves, they'd have a lot of trouble. I'm thinking that a 500 lb gorilla would be able to rip humans apart one on one pretty much indefinitely. It's worth keeping in mind that the gorilla would scared as ****, and if the Steelers got together in a pack it would probably just run away from them... and then they could just move in for the kill I guess.

No matter what, several of the Steelers would die.


Now a tiger or a bear or an elephant, that's a different story. Animals like that would pretty much tear apart the Steelers if they were totally unarmed. That's why God/evolution gave us the intelligence to build knives, spears, clubs and large calibre rifles.

[picc84]

I sure wouldnt put $ on the steelers.

And no matter what i'd want heinz wards head popped like a grape.

[-primetime-]

If the Steelers worked together they could win. It would be really hard to kill it without weapons, I mean beating the gorilla to death would take a LOT.

Maybe if they worked together to like trap the thing, like have 6 guys grab one arm, 6 grab another limb, etc, then get a bunch of dudes on its back to weigh it down, then once you have it kind of trapped on the ground, have a few guys just kick it in the head until it's dead.

If the Steelers didn't organize themselves, they'd have a lot of trouble. I'm thinking that a 600 lb gorilla would be able to rip humans apart one on one pretty much indefinitely. It's worth keeping in mind that the gorilla would scared as ****, and if the Steelers got together in a pack it would probably just run away from them... and then they could just move in for the kill I guess.

No matter what, several of the Steelers would die.


Now a tiger or a bear or an elephant, that's a different story. Animals like that would pretty much tear apart the Steelers if they were totally unarmed. That's why God/evolution gave us the intelligence to build knives, spears, clubs and large calibre rifles.
I was thinking multiple kicks to it's stomach...to get some internal organs bleeding...

they would have to do this while the gorilla is in the middle of ripping apart one of their teammates though...

and another thing is, right from the start when someone sticks there hand out that hand is going to be torn to shreds...so the silverbak didn't even have to kill that player...he ripped up his hand, making him useless and now he can move on to the next...

also I am not sure that 6 men could hold down one limb...that thing can lift a "ton"...literally a "ton"...


and I am also thinking a lion or tiger might be easier to defeat...

[Dasher]

People HUNT gorillas. A team of 53 men should be able to take it down...eventually. I expect the men to be able to use their environment to their advantage, and if they can do that. The gorilla loses.

[Glove_20]

We are talking about a Gorilla here. Not a giant monster that is 30 times the size of a human. :oldlol:

Easily the Steelers. Their strength easily overmatches the Gorillas.

[-primetime-]

We are talking about a Gorilla here. Not a giant monster that is 30 times the size of a human. :oldlol:

Easily the Steelers. Their strength easily overmatches the Gorillas.
do you think you could beat the crap out of 53 ten-year-old boys?

their strength easily overmatches yours...

[Glove_20]

do you think you could beat the crap out of 53 ten-year-old boys?

their strength easily overmatches yours...
If I was stupid as a gorilla, no way possible.

[Skywalker]

if you were you, no way either....

53? come on now

[-primetime-]

If I was stupid as a gorilla, no way possible.
they aren't stupid when it comes to battle...it is their natural instinct


and what if you had teeth ment to rip apart flesh?

and skin so thick that it was like armor?

and could run 25 mph?

and had bones so strong that they couldn't be broken?

then could you take down all those little kids?

[-primetime-]

if you were you, no way either....

53? come on now
well I said in the OP that I think the Steelers would eventually win but that about 30 of them would die before they finally finished the job...


but I could be wrong...

that could be just 53 bags of meat for him to rip apart real quick...

[Skywalker]

Casey Hampton probably looks like that gorilla when he leans forward.

[picc84]

The difference between the average persons offensive power and a 10 year olds is much smaller than the difference between a football player and a gorilla. Not only is it multiples more powerful, but it can use its teeth and one bite would be all it takes for anyone.

Then, consider that the rest of team is going to start sh!tting bricks when they see their teammates getting ripped limb from limb and their brains splatter everywhere from getting their heads bitten off. Thats not going to inspire them to fight harder. Its going to make them more apprehensive, if they dont just flat out run away.

Its muscle mass, hide, and bone density is so much thicker than a persons, what are they really gonna do to it? Punch it? Kick it? :confusedshrug: You could say they'd have a few guys grab each limb, but i'd say the gorilla's adrenaline/rage fueled strength would be enough to just throw them off and start curbstomping.

I'm not going to say there's no way for the team to win, there's no way to know for sure, but I wouldnt bet on it.

[Glove_20]

The difference between the average persons offensive power and a 10 year olds is much smaller than the difference between a football player and a gorilla. Not only is it multiples more powerful, but it can use its teeth and one bite would be all it takes for anyone.

Then, consider that the rest of team is going to start sh!tting bricks when they see their teammates getting ripped limb from limb and their brains splatter everywhere from getting their heads bitten off. Thats not going to inspire them to fight harder. Its going to make them more apprehensive, if they dont just flat out run away.

I'm not going to say there's no way for the team to win, but I wouldnt bet on it.

Are you serious? :roll:

You sound like the Gorilla is some killing machine that is walking around and annihilating people with minimal effort.


If the Steelers come in with a good game plan, constructed by coach Tomlin and Glove_20, they will go in there, kill the gorilla, with maybe 2-3 deaths.

[picc84]

Are you serious?

You sound like the Gorilla is some killing machine that is walking around and annihilating people with minimal effort.


If the Steelers come in with a good game plan, constructed by coach Tomlin and Glove_20, they will go in there, kill the gorilla, with maybe 2-3 deaths.

Thats exactly what it is. :oldlol:

[Dasher]

If the Steelers come in with a good game plan, constructed by coach Tomlin and Glove_20, they will go in there, kill the gorilla, with maybe 2-3 deaths. :oldlol: This is my favorite Glove post ever.

[vapid]

they aren't stupid when it comes to battle...it is their natural instinct


and what if you had teeth ment to rip apart flesh?

and skin so thick that it was like armor?

and could run 25 mph?

and had bones so strong that they couldn't be broken?

then could you take down all those little kids?
GORILLAS ARE HERBIVORES

[-primetime-]

GORILLAS ARE HERBIVORES
natural self defense and flesh tearing teeth still come with the package though...

[Glove_20]

:oldlol: This is my favorite Glove post ever.
I'm not lying or joking either

[TheGreatDeraj]

This is what would happen:

Steeler players would start going towards the gorilla. The gorilla would get pissed and do this:

http://www.freeimagehosting.net/uploads/48709b2f64.jpg (http://www.freeimagehosting.net/)

Then every player would turn around and haul ass in the opposite direction.

And if the growl didn't scare them enough then as soon as a player gets close enough to the gorilla for him to sink one of his massive fangs into the players body and probably tears off his arm then the players would haul ass in the opposite direction. Gorilla's are too ****ing insane and scary to even attempt to fight.

[Dasher]

I'm not lying or joking eitherSo are you suggesting plays from the booth or are you on the sideline with coach.

People have been hunting gorillas since before guns became plentiful. If confronted with 53 people the gorilla's natural instinct would be to take his ass home. Are we shocking the gorilla with cattle prods to get him angry? Did the Steelers just run a train on his broad? Or do they just walk up to him and start wailing on him?

[vapid]

If you HAD to fight, the best way would to sacrifice a rookie or two to be torn apart. Now you have blunt maces to use as weapons.

[-primetime-]

I'm not lying or joking either
in chimp/gorilla attacks the normal outcome is ripped up hands/feet/arms...a torn off face....and if the enemy is male, it rips up the man's genitals...

in like less than a second...

if you think it is going down only killing 2 or 3 humans you are nuts...

I think a small chimp would do that...a silverback is on a whole different level...

[Glove_20]

So are you suggesting plays from the booth or are you on the sideline with coach.

People have been hunting gorillas since before guns became plentiful. If confronted with 53 people the gorilla's natural instinct would be to take his ass home. Are we shocking the gorilla with cattle prods to get him angry? Did the Steelers just run a train on his broad? Or do they just walk up to him and start wailing on him?

Just getting together with the team, for a week, preparing them for the fight, telling them the strategy, and so on. After Coach Tomlin and I got a good strategy, killing the Gorrila, like I said would not be so hard, and 2-3 deaths total.

Also, after the fight starts, me and coach Tomlin are nowhere near the fight scene. Sidelines? :oldlol:

[-primetime-]

So are you suggesting plays from the booth or are you on the sideline with coach.

People have been hunting gorillas since before guns became plentiful. If confronted with 53 people the gorilla's natural instinct would be to take his ass home. Are we shocking the gorilla with cattle prods to get him angry? Did the Steelers just run a train on his broad? Or do they just walk up to him and start wailing on him?
in the OP I stated that they would all be thrown into a football feild that is caged in...

no one can leave until either the gorilla is dead, or the entire team is dead...

so, if no one wants to fight, they are gonna starve to death...



and don't people tha hunt gorrillas (without guns) do so by setting up traps???....and coming back days later???

[vapid]

I doubt indigenous people still hunt gorillas. There are obviously easier prey around. The only people would be poachers who will use modern weaponry.

I still think using the dismembered arm of a rookie as a weapon is the best way to go.

[Glove_20]

in chimp/gorilla attacks the normal outcome is ripped up hands/feet/arms...a torn off face....and if the enemy is male, it rips up the man's genitals...

in like less than a second...

if you think it is going down only killing 2 or 3 humans you are nuts...

I think a small chimp would do that...a silverback is on a whole different level...

Primetime, it's called strategy. Like I said, if the right strategy is made beforehand, it's over, for the gorilla.

[-primetime-]

Primetime, it's called strategy. Like I said, if the right strategy is made beforehand, it's over, for the gorilla.

I agree that they would need some form of strategy, no doubt...

I am just not convinced it would work...

[picc84]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pb47JA3Kln4&feature=related

Look how easily that thing uprooted those trees. Like they were vines. Nobodys surviving that kind of power. It would throw 6 guys trying to hold it down off like rag dolls and commence to wrecking.

[Glove_20]

I agree that they would need some form of strategy, no doubt...

I am just not convinced it would work...
Here's what I would suggest


1. Surround the Gorilla in fours. 18 guys in the front (All defensive linemen, and line backers), 8 on the left side, and 8 on the right, and 19 (offensive lineman and cornerbacks) on the back.

2. Tell the guys in the back to charge 1st, while timing it perfectly that the 2 sides hit prescisely 5 seconds afterwards. Then in another 3 seconds the front side hits.

3. Remember this is not a giant beast. This is a 5 and a half foot, 400 pound creature. Some offensive lineman are this size singlehandedly, so when you have 19 of them on his back, and 8 on each side, with 19 on the front, he will just get destroyed, no matter how strong he is.


4. It's been calculated the silverback gorilla has the strength of 8-15 average men. 15 at most. So right away when you have so many men hit him in a matter of 10 seconds, his 400 ass will get pounded to the ground. And these are football players.



5. And since the attack is at the back first, (and remember the strength of the men on the back his greater than his strength easily), the men on the back don't have too much fatal risk. Sure injuries, but not death. 2-3 deaths at most, not injuries.

And the next 3 blows (left, right, front) should do it for him. A big pounding starts after that.


6. Also scientific research over the weak, can tell us which are the gorilla's most vulnerable spots, and we will try to pound there.


7. And trust me, the motivation to not get scared will be there. These are football players, and they know if they hide and run, they will die. The only way to survive is to fight! Totallly motivated they will be.


8. After the fight, leave this flag on top of him. There is no way we lose. We might get out of there with no deaths at all.



http://www.bayblitz.com/steelersgifs/animated_pittsburgh_steelers_flag_1.gif

[picc84]

haha

You've certainly got team spirit. :lol

[Glove_20]

haha

You've certainly got team spirit. :lol
But you do realize there is absolutely no way we lose following this strategy?

Especially considering a week preparation (timing everything), scientific research (weak spots make it so much easier), size advantages (The gorilla is 5'6 400 pounds, imagine 19 guys with an average weight of nearly 300 on his back and front), and the motivation to not run away (if we do, we will all die 1 by 1, if we fight, none of us will die). Afterall, he has the strength of probably 8-9 football players. We got 53 attacking within 10 seconds of each other with an obvious big black target.

Of course Coach Tomlin can make some adjustments here, but the main idea is clear.

[Skywalker]

lmao sacrifice that ****in' lunatic kicker they have just knock him out and put a burger on top of him or something

then when he's eating, get Hampton, Harrison, Farrior, Foote, the O Line all run fast and shoulder tackle the back of it's legs and then all the CBs/KR run around him quickly making him dizzy trying to keep up while we get the punter to boot its nuts LMAO

[LaLuzdeLucyfer]

But you do realize there is absolutely no way we lose following this strategy?

Especially considering a week preparation (timing everything), scientific research (weak spots make it so much easier), size advantages (The gorilla is 5'6 400 pounds, imagine 19 guys with an average weight of nearly 300 on his back and front), and the motivation to not run away (if we do, we will all die 1 by 1, if we fight, none of us will die). Afterall, he has the strength of probably 8-9 football players. We got 53 attacking within 10 seconds of each other with an obvious big black target.

How simultaneously?

Now I don't disagree at all Glove, but do you feel that tackles would be the most effective way on dishing damage? More so that punches/kicks/chops to the throat, behind the kneecaps, in the armpits etc>?

[Glove_20]

How simultaneously?

Now I don't disagree at all Glove, but do you feel that tackles would be the most effective way on dishing damage? More so that punches/kicks/chops to the throat, behind the kneecaps, in the armpits etc>?
Well I've already described the timing. First hit him from the back, then the 2 sides, and then the front, with a matter of 10 seconds. So all 4 sides will be coming in at him at the same time, he will just get hit from the back first.

I'm assuming the 19 300 pound guys from the back (which is the 1st hit), will be enough to take this 400 pound gorrila down by surprise. I mean, this is a very reasonable assumption. We'll have a team of scientists to confirm this.

Then the rest just join in and start beating the **** out of it. Hitting in the "weak" spots of the gorilla (which our scientists will tell us), and so on.

[-primetime-]

Here's what I would suggest


1. Surround the Gorilla in fours. 18 guys in the front (All defensive linemen, and line backers), 8 on the left side, and 8 on the right, and 19 (offensive lineman and cornerbacks) on the back.

2. Tell the guys in the back to charge 1st, while timing it perfectly that the 2 sides hit prescisely 5 seconds afterwards. Then in another 3 seconds the front side hits.

3. Remember this is not a giant beast. This is a 5 and a half foot, 400 pound creature. Some offensive lineman are this size singlehandedly, so when you have 19 of them on his back, and 8 on each side, with 19 on the front, he will just get destroyed, no matter how strong he is.


4. It's been calculated the silverback gorilla has the strength of 8-15 average men. 15 at most. So right away when you have so many men hit him in a matter of 10 seconds, his 400 ass will get pounded to the ground. And these are football players.



5. And since the attack is at the back first, (and remember the strength of the men on the back his greater than his strength easily), the men on the back don't have too much fatal risk. Sure injuries, but not death. 2-3 deaths at most, not injuries.

And the next 3 blows (left, right, front) should do it for him. A big pounding starts after that.


6. Also scientific research over the weak, can tell us which are the gorilla's most vulnerable spots, and we will try to pound there.


7. And trust me, the motivation to not get scared will be there. These are football players, and they know if they hide and run, they will die. The only way to survive is to fight! Totallly motivated they will be.


8. After the fight, leave this flag on top of him. There is no way we lose. We might get out of there with no deaths at all.



http://www.bayblitz.com/steelersgifs/animated_pittsburgh_steelers_flag_1.gif
first off...awesome post...:oldlol:

:applause:

but I am thinking this stratagy would fail before they even got to #2...

once that ape is surrounded, or feels threatened, it will be him charging the humans, not the other way around...

and who he decides to charge will be unknown to the players...they would have to improvise and just make due on the spot...

it is very difficult to make a plan out how to attack something that could do ANYTHING on the fly...

[vapid]

first off...awesome post...:oldlol:

:applause:

but I am thinking this stratagy would fail before they even got to #2...

once that ape is surrounded, or feels threatened, it will be him charging the humans, not the other way around...

and who he decides to charge will be unknown to the players...they would have to improvise and just make due on the spot...

it is very difficult to make a plan out how to attack something that could do ANYTHING on the fly...

You need to get out and get a better feeling of the wider world. You say things like this, and some of the things you say about other cultures ( I still remember you thinking asian nations have basically no civil liberties etc.) are just dumb.

These things can die. They can't just do ANYTHING. They aren't monstrous behemoths of indestructible force. I'm thinking if the Steelers players know its a life/death situation they will really try to fight tooth and nail as well. By sheer number they will be able to get in at least a few high speed tackles at full force, as soon as its down and you can get access to the head, you do all you can to lay as much blunt force trauma on the head and balls and you're almost there. You're acting like the gorilla is like a Minotaur or a Dragon or something.

[-primetime-]

You need to get out and get a better feeling of the wider world. You say things like this, and some of the things you say about other cultures ( I still remember you thinking asian nations have basically no civil liberties etc.) are just dumb.
huh?

I ment "anything" as in what that gorilla is going to do is unpredictable...

what does me bringing up cannabis laws in east asia have to do with ..."anything"...???


These things can die. They can't just do ANYTHING. They aren't monstrous behemoths of indestructible force. I'm thinking if the Steelers players know its a life/death situation they will really try to fight tooth and nail as well. By sheer number they will be able to get in at least a few high speed tackles at full force, as soon as its down and you can get access to the head, you do all you can to lay as much blunt force trauma on the head and balls and you're almost there. You're acting like the gorilla is like a Minotaur or a Dragon or something.
I don't think they would be able to 'tackle" it and get it down...

do you have any idea how difficult that would be?

that thing is like the size of a small car...and legs strong enough to lift up any 10 of those guys off the ground...

[CasterL]

lol jokes thread

if the gorilla was injected with testosterone or some drug so that the only thing on its mind was blood rage then it would do alot of damage. im sure that the steelers would beat it but whoever tackles it first is as good as dead.

my prediction

gorilla kills 5-10 of the steelers as it rages,

2-3 steellers manage to charge it from behind and take it to the ground. the gorilla kills at least 1 of them,probably all of them. however in the time this is happening the remaining stellers have moved in and are doing the gorilla serious damage.

the steelers manage to restrain the gorilla, the gorilla kills and wounds a fair few more steelers but they eventually manage to kill it

fina score

15-25 steelers dead, 1 dead gorilla

[vapid]

I'm not going to crunch any numbers, but I can imagine a number of scenarios where the Steelers would win through sheer number and if they knew this was a kill or be killed situation.

I actually googled this situation, and I guess other people are as bored as us.

http://www.t-nation.com/free_online_forum/music_movies_girls_life/50_men_v_silver_back_gorilla#bottom

This forum seems to agree that the men would win. Some bring up good points about how the gorilla would probably be intimidated through sheer number.

[MarloStanfield]

Slightly off topic but if Troy Polamalu trained MMA he'd be an incredible fighter. Another guy who jumps out is Steve Smith. Both of those guys are so explosive they could whip a lot of asses based off sheer athleticism.

[-primetime-]

I'm not going to crunch any numbers, but I can imagine a number of scenarios where the Steelers would win through sheer number and if they knew this was a kill or be killed situation.

I actually googled this situation, and I guess other people are as bored as us.

http://www.t-nation.com/free_online_forum/music_movies_girls_life/50_men_v_silver_back_gorilla#bottom

This forum seems to agree that the men would win. Some bring up good points about how the gorilla would probably be intimidated through sheer number.
wow...after just reading that page it seems like this thread...

they are either saying:

A. the Gorilla would rip all 50 men to shreds...no problem

or

B. what are you crazy?...10 men could kill that thing


they also say that thread was sparked by a debate about 100 men vs. a Grizzly Bear...

hmm...

[vapid]

They are talking about 50 average men, and I didn't count, but I'm pretty sure most of them said the 50 average men would win.

[-primetime-]

They are talking about 50 average men, and I didn't count, but I'm pretty sure most of them said the 50 average men would win.
just on that page:


I doubt that 50 men could kill a silverback with no weapons, unless someone uses someone else as a truncheon, like I suggested. Even if you could get your arms around the silver backs neck, Idoubt you could generate the force neccessary to strangulate it.


Sorry humans. I win. (pic of silverback)


Most bears can be fast, for extremely short periods of time. A gorilla can maintain speed.

No one has been able to measure the strength of a gorilla, but all the assumptions in various things I've seen lead it to anywhere between 10x-50x the strength of a single man.

Take the typical size of an adult male, which would be 5'7" 380, and add in the fact that they can essentially leap 15+ feet, and the hypothetical 50 guys are all ****ed. You're not going to have the strength to immobilize a gorilla, even if you get 10 guys ontop of it.

Which is why I like my original idea, building a ladder out of the corpses while the remaining keep the gorillas attention and climbing out.

^^^:oldlol:


The men lack an efficient means of injuring the gorilla and only so many could swarm the thing at once.

I don't think anyone makes it out.


I agree. The only problem is that this is 50 "average men." It is going to take a lot of doing to get one, let alone 49 men to listen to you long enough through the screams of agony and terror to really get a solid plan built up.

I could definately see the Gorilla ripping everyone to peices.

...

[vapid]

:banghead: I can't believe you counted. Now I have to count or else I'm going to seem like an idiot. I counted 11 posts for the men. Thanks for wasting even more of my time.

[-primetime-]

I like the idea of building a ladder out of dead humans so that the others can escape...:oldlol:

[Glove_20]

first off...awesome post...:oldlol:

:applause:

but I am thinking this stratagy would fail before they even got to #2...

once that ape is surrounded, or feels threatened, it will be him charging the humans, not the other way around...

and who he decides to charge will be unknown to the players...they would have to improvise and just make due on the spot...

it is very difficult to make a plan out how to attack something that could do ANYTHING on the fly...

True, but it's not like it's going to take 53 people to execute that strategy.

Just 6 300 pounders coming from the back at a speed of 10mph will be enough to knock down a 400 pound gorilla. Is that unreasonable? I said 6, obviously we will have more than 6 Steelers coming from the back at some point.

Sure he might not let it set up, but all 53 men aren't needed. And once he is on his back, it's over. Hit him on the weak spots, spots you don't have to hit him very hard at. For example, his eye, testicles, etc. If someone hit you punched you on your arm, might not hurt that much, but on your eye? Yeah...Repeatedly? Yeah...



Also Gorilla's aren't agressive creatures. If he is surrounded, but no signs of attack, he will not start running after everyone. So the point is, usually he has to see an actual attempt of attack before he will start attacking. Which will first be seen behind his back, enough to take him down hard.

[Glove_20]

You need to get out and get a better feeling of the wider world. You say things like this, and some of the things you say about other cultures ( I still remember you thinking asian nations have basically no civil liberties etc.) are just dumb.

These things can die. They can't just do ANYTHING. They aren't monstrous behemoths of indestructible force. I'm thinking if the Steelers players know its a life/death situation they will really try to fight tooth and nail as well. By sheer number they will be able to get in at least a few high speed tackles at full force, as soon as its down and you can get access to the head, you do all you can to lay as much blunt force trauma on the head and balls and you're almost there. You're acting like the gorilla is like a Minotaur or a Dragon or something.

Seriously, that's what I have been saying. They act like it's some gigantic beast that is unstoppable or something. :oldlol:

[-primetime-]

True, but it's not like it's going to take 53 people to execute that strategy.

Just 6 300 pounders coming from the back at a speed of 10mph will be enough to knock down a 400 pound gorilla. Is that unreasonable? I said 6, obviously we will have more than 6 Steelers coming from the back at some point.

Sure he might not let it set up, but all 53 men aren't needed. And once he is on his back, it's over. Hit him on the weak spots, spots you don't have to hit him very hard at. For example, his eye, testicles, etc. If someone hit you punched you on your arm, might not hurt that much, but on your eye? Yeah...Repeatedly? Yeah...



Also Gorilla's aren't agressive creatures. If he is surrounded, but no signs of attack, he will not start running after everyone. So the point is, usually he has to see an actual attempt of attack before he will start attacking. Which will first be seen behind his back, enough to take him down hard.

I think this is false....

[Glove_20]

I think this is false....
:oldlol:

Ok, but that part of the post was just an extra thing I added. Regardless, the gorilla would get tackled by 4-6 300 pound men running at speed from behind, and that's all it really is going to take before 10 more jump on the gorilla in a matter of seconds.

[-primetime-]

:oldlol:

Ok, but that part of the post was just an extra thing I added. Regardless, the gorilla would get tackled by 4-6 300 pound men running at speed from behind, and that's all it really is going to take before 10 more jump on the gorilla in a matter of seconds.
I think this is impossible...

[vapid]

I think this is impossible...
Well thank god that you are a fcking idiot. That only makes Glove's position stronger. You are a waste of space and effort.

[A.M.G.]

Some points:

1. The cage would have to be sealed at the top, otherwise the gorilla would just climb out. So neither the gorilla nor the players can get out.

2. The gorilla would be scared out of its mind. The gorilla is going to do everything it can to avoid the football players before it has to start cracking skulls, snapping limbs and biting jugulars. It will run away and try to climb the cage, and if it can climb the cage it would just get up to a certain height and chill there. They are not super aggressive animals that will just attack and kill mindlessly, they will try to intimidate and avoid actual physical conflict. So really the cage would have to be unclimbable (ie. use hardened glass instead of a cage).

3. A good sized silverback gorilla is 450 of pure muscle, bone, and hide, 5'8 up to 6 feet tall, with the strength of 10-15+ men. You also have to remember that it has stubby back legs and absolutely massive arms, so don't let the height fool you. These things really are behemoths, and it would take a **** load of blows to actually kill it. But you could definitely tackle it and hold it down with 50+ pro football players, and then kick the **** out of it's head, neck, hands, belly, and genitals. But the tackling would result in several deaths, or at least some maimings

However, I have a potential strategy that could result in no deaths.

4. The Steelers are not totally without weapons if they have street clothes (shirts, jeans, Nikes). Make a braided rope out of jeans/shirts (no homo, this is survival we're talking about), turn it into like a lasso or a long trip wire, get it around the things neck or one of its limbs, get it somewhat immobilized with a bunch of guys pulling. Better yet, get two or more lassos made and pull in two or more directions. A barrage of hard thrown Nikes would irritate/disorient the **** out of it too. Once you have the thing somewhat tied up with the jean/shirt lassos, you could drag it around with a combined effort, and the gorilla would tire itself out trying to resist. Then you could just keep wailing Nikes at it's face some more, drag it around some more, until it's really weakened, then stomp its weak points until it's dead.This would take longer than tackling, but fewer human casualties in the end.

[vapid]

Nice. Good Idea. I was going to ask if the Steelers players were naked (YES HOMO) as well. Thats how the humans would win, using some brains.

[A.M.G.]

Nice. Good Idea. I was going to ask if the Steelers players were naked (YES HOMO) as well. Thats how the humans would win, using some brains.
Well, the Steelers would have to take off their jeans and shirtsto make the lassos/ropes/net, but they would have boxers on so it really is no homo, and they see each other in the goddamn locker room every day anyways. I would rather do this than die.

Also, would this be a spectator sport?

[kps]

Mr Rooney could tell Jerry Jones that they were filming a new reality show about the cowboys there, he's bring the team and then let the gorilla at them. The Cowboys would be pissing and moaning at each other for so long the gorilla could take down the entire team, and be too tired to fight a really good team. The only way the Cowboys would have a chance is on the slim chance Ray Lewis signs with them.

[-primetime-]

Some points:

1. The cage would have to be sealed at the top, otherwise the gorilla would just climb out. So neither the gorilla nor the players can get out.

2. The gorilla would be scared out of its mind. The gorilla is going to do everything it can to avoid the football players before it has to start cracking skulls, snapping limbs and biting jugulars. It will run away and try to climb the cage, and if it can climb the cage it would just get up to a certain height and chill there. They are not super aggressive animals that will just attack and kill mindlessly, they will try to intimidate and avoid actual physical conflict. So really the cage would have to be unclimbable (ie. use hardened glass instead of a cage).

3. A good sized silverback gorilla is 450 of pure muscle, bone, and hide, 5'8 up to 6 feet tall, with the strength of 10-15+ men. You also have to remember that it has stubby back legs and absolutely massive arms, so don't let the height fool you. These things really are behemoths, and it would take a **** load of blows to actually kill it. But you could definitely tackle it and hold it down with 50+ pro football players, and then kick the **** out of it's head, neck, hands, belly, and genitals. But the tackling would result in several deaths, or at least some maimings

However, I have a potential strategy that could result in no deaths.

4. The Steelers are not totally without weapons if they have street clothes (shirts, jeans, Nikes). Make a braided rope out of jeans/shirts (no homo, this is survival we're talking about), turn it into like a lasso or a long trip wire, get it around the things neck or one of its limbs, get it somewhat immobilized with a bunch of guys pulling. Better yet, get two or more lassos made and pull in two or more directions. A barrage of hard thrown Nikes would irritate/disorient the **** out of it too. Once you have the thing somewhat tied up with the jean/shirt lassos, you could drag it around with a combined effort, and the gorilla would tire itself out trying to resist. Then you could just keep wailing Nikes at it's face some more, drag it around some more, until it's really weakened, then stomp its weak points until it's dead.This would take longer than tackling, but fewer human casualties in the end.
genius...

defeats the point of the thread...

but still genius...

that would work

[Gifted Mind]

For those that don't check the NBA Forum. This debate has re-opened with a slight twist


http://www.insidehoops.com/forum/showthread.php?p=6077926&posted=1#post6077926

[-playmaker-]

This thread is awesome...thats why that dude jacked it from me

[-playmaker-]

You need to get out and get a better feeling of the wider world. You say things like this, and some of the things you say about other cultures ( I still remember you thinking asian nations have basically no civil liberties etc.) are just dumb.

These things can die. They can't just do ANYTHING. They aren't monstrous behemoths of indestructible force. I'm thinking if the Steelers players know its a life/death situation they will really try to fight tooth and nail as well. By sheer number they will be able to get in at least a few high speed tackles at full force, as soon as its down and you can get access to the head, you do all you can to lay as much blunt force trauma on the head and balls and you're almost there. You're acting like the gorilla is like a Minotaur or a Dragon or something.
somehow me saying that a gorilla is unpredictable ment that I should be more traveled to vapid...lol

How did I need see the stupidity in this post before...what a tool vap can be...



I AM well traveled btw...not that it has the slightest thing to do with gorilla behavior

[LebronJamesLove]

I think casey Hampton could kill a gorilla by himself, he weigh As much as one and after he kills it he has dinner for himself.

[bstickq1]

It's definitely possible with a good strategy.

This is a whole football field, so the gorilla will definitely attempt to run from conflict with that space.

Have a group of 6 or so "runners". These guys will have to move compactly and in unison so they seem almost like one person. Meanwhile the rest of the team will stay at one corner of the field so there is plenty of open space for the gorilla.

Humans have excellent endurance at slow speeds, so the runners will jog towards the gorilla, who will most likely take the option to run considering the wide open space he has available.

Everywhere he runs, the runners will confidently trot after him, and he will become more and more tired. If needed some runners can be replaced if they are tired.

As the gorilla nears its breaking point, the other players move in one big mass towards the gorilla.

When it can't run any more, they will charge in one big glob, and when the front of the glob hits it the back will wade around the chaos so the gorilla is surrounded.

Every person in the glob will push the person in front of them so that the gorilla is compacted in the center, and even the corpses he creates around him will be pushing against him in this way and making movement for him even more exhausting.

Whoever happens to be up front will wildly go for the eyes and balls preferably, and stomach next on the list. For people not front and center, knees and feet should be the main weapons, particularly because the people in the back will be compacting them against the gorilla and there won't be much room.

If someone is feeling sacrificial, they could attempt to shove an entire arm (or maybe a corpses arm, but that would be difficult) down the gorillas throat, as he'll probably have it wide open.

Another more sadistic strategy would be to let the gorilla chill out on the other end of the field while the weakest players were killed and their bones were used to create weapons, they could even sharpen the bones with other bones.

[CelticBaller]

alot of animal abusers in this thread

[Jackass18]

For those that don't check the NBA Forum. This debate has re-opened with a slight twist


http://www.insidehoops.com/forum/showthread.php?p=6077926&posted=1#post6077926

Looks like 1 retard trolling for 6 pages.

[JEFFERSON MONEY]

:oldlol:

[Jameerthefear]

I love this thread so much.

[knickballer]

Depends. Are the Steelers in their game uniforms and equipment? If so that has to give them the advantage.

Here's my strategy
- Have the backs, wideouts and DB's run around circles of the gorilla confusing him and luring him in and once the gorilla eventually gets tired the skill players will lure them into the linebackers who'll try to take out the gorillas knees(do they have knees?) then the linemen jump on the gorilla.

But yeah like what others said got to go after the weak points of the gorilla. Poke out the eyes, bust his knees, jam his fingers, etc..

[sundizz]

I spent 30 minutes trying to find evidence about the strength of gorillas online, purely because of how interesting this subject is to me.

However, I realized there is an absolute dearth of information of relevant studies on testing chimpanzee, orangutan and gorilla's relative strengths.

Why!!!??

Shouldn't this be easy to do. We have them at basically every zoo in every country. Wouldn't it be simple. Design some sort of reward/strength testing experiment.

For example,

Put something delicious in a hole in the ground. Put a heavy object over it. The animals have to move the object to get the food. Teaching them to do this would be easy. First do it with a very light weight. Then increase the weight of the object.

A better way to approach it. Put the animal inside an enclosed area with multiple holes in the ground with food. Each hole has a treat that is relative to the weight of the object above it. As such, the animal would learn quickly that by moving the heaviest object they get the biggest and most delicious treat. Could probably even have a gym sponsor this. The provide the weights. Put the weights in a closed metal box with a pulley attached to it. The animal pulls the box and under is the treat.

Additionally. Put something (like an anchor) inside the cage. With a 5 foot tensile cord attach it to a plate with plate/box with delicious food. To get the food they have to drag/pull the anchor. Anchors go from 2,500 to 50,000 pounds basically so this test really has no limits.

Of course since they could cheat and use multiple animals, the real tricky part would be getting just one to do it. Or I guess could just use divide the weight by # of animals and keep increasing the weight. Or could make the handle ergonomically designed for just 1 animal to use.

[tpols]

I just don't see any damage being done by humans without weapons..

Punching? You really think that going to hurt it? It's frame might as well be made of steel compared to us.. That won't take it out at all.

You definitely can't choke it out or a m bar it:oldlol:

And most of all this thing would be sprawling and jerking its body all over the place.. It would easily be able to charge and grab someone and bite into their neck and while everyone jumped on it it would be flailing its arms around like crazy. Would be so hard to get a hold of.

[Is He Ill]

Ill take the gorilla. It would snap each player one by one if they got too close. Once it gets through the linebackers and lineman, the rest should be a piece of cake.

[OhNoTimNoSho]

As it has been previously said, the main problem is figuring out how to damage the gorilla. The eyes would be first.. then genitals, but what after that.... throat? ass?

[knickballer]

As it has been previously said, the main problem is figuring out how to damage the gorilla. The eyes would be first.. then genitals, but what after that.... throat? ass?

Maybe bruise it's lungs then play a game of survival? I'm sure if you blind the creature then damage it's lungs eventually the thing is going to pass out or die from exhaustion.

But how fast is a Gorilla? 40 time?

[knickballer]

I just don't see any damage being done by humans without weapons..

Punching? You really think that going to hurt it? It's frame might as well be made of steel compared to us.. That won't take it out at all.

You definitely can't choke it out or a m bar it:oldlol:

And most of all this thing would be sprawling and jerking its body all over the place.. It would easily be able to charge and grab someone and bite into their neck and while everyone jumped on it it would be flailing its arms around like crazy. Would be so hard to get a hold of.

Something like this?
http://www.bushmanlives.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/King-Kong-Poster.jpg

[-p.tiddy-]

Love this thread

Forgot how unlikable vapid was...what a little fck that kid was

[tpols]

Something like this?
http://www.bushmanlives.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/King-Kong-Poster.jpg
A little more worse than that. :rolleyes:

:D

[Jackass18]

I get a Malware warning whenever I click on page 1

[vapid]

Love this thread

Forgot how unlikable vapid was...what a little fck that kid was
Yea seriously

[Pinkhearts]

Where is the Planet of the Apes GIF

That was some funny shit....if I could grab its arm....I can take it down!

[red1]

It doesn't matter how strong you, unless you get it in the eyes your punches and kicks won't do shit to a gorilla. You guys ever see that image of the hairless chimp? These apes are rock-solid muscle under their fur, need some type of cutting tool to actually do damage.

[red1]

Talk about hard-body. This guy will tear limbs off with ease and he is just a small chimp compared to a beastly gorilla. That one thread asking about ben wallace and lebron vs a gorilla was one of the dumbest threads in ISH history

http://www.roflzoo.com/pics/042010/hairless-bodybuilder-chimp.jpg

[Rodmantheman]

:lol

[oarabbus]

The thing is humans are not like other animals. If humans were like other animals and had less of a concept of self-preservation, I would take the Steelers. However, nobody wants to be the first guy to get his arm broken in half and jaw ripped open in order to let the next guy to deliver a hit that can actually do damage. If no one cared for their life then I would take the Steelers.

So I'll take the gorilla.

[MMM]

give me any group of humans. Silverback gorilla is not taking on 5 humans. It would remain cautious unless the humans gave them a reason to attack. In that case while one or 2 were getting mauled the rest could throw stones, sticks, etc and the gorilla would run off.

[PHX_Phan]

Every time this thread is bumped I think about this question for a good hour :lol

I'm almost thinking the gorilla would win this one. I just don't see the team pulling off the necessary execution to put it down. It can outrun humans and will be on the defensive, so it would be hard to coordinate the entire team to get a hold of it. That's a lot of bodies and a lot of combined strength, but you'd need all of that to align right just to get a significant blow against the animal.

Plus, once it realizes it's in danger and can only defend itself, it will start maiming the **** out of those players. None of those guys could even come close to holding his own against that thing and the likelihood that guys are going to throw themselves into the fire to give the others a chance is unlikely.

[Akrazotile]

53 is too many people. If they all charged it at once, it wouldnt even have room to swing its arms. Meanwhile you have a bunch of dudes who bench 400 lbs swinging blows on the animals head.

The first few dudes who went at it would prob be martyrs. No question some Steelers wouldnt make it but theres no way a mob of 53 couldnt knock out one gorilla before they all ended up dead.

[oarabbus]

53 is too many people. If they all charged it at once, it wouldnt even have room to swing its arms. Meanwhile you have a bunch of dudes who bench 400 lbs swinging blows on the animals head.

The first few dudes who went at it would prob be martyrs. No question some Steelers wouldnt make it but theres no way a mob of 53 couldnt knock out one gorilla before they all ended up dead.

This is why the gorilla wins, though. Human self-preservation instinct is too high. Would you be willing to have your testicles ripped off so your buddy can deliver a blow to the gorillas head?


From the Guinness book of records 1975
In 1924 "Boma" a 165Lbs male chimp at the Bronx zoo, New York, recorded a right handed pull (feet braced) of 847 Lbs on a dynamometer.(the comparison given is 210Lbs for a man of the same weight). On another occasion, "Suzette" registered a pull of 1260 Lbs while in a rage (same zoo).


These are tiny chimps compared to a ****ing gorilla. The first few people would literally get torn into pieces by the gorilla. Have you seen the lady who had her face ripped off by a tiny chimp?

http://www.t-nation.com/img/photos/2011/11-676-02/gorilla-bearing-teeth.jpg

If you're talking about 53 people with implants in their heads so they are controlled to have no regard for their life then yeah, they can get one silverback. Otherwise no one is ****ing with that Gorilla. Your skull will be crushed, your face bitten off, your internal organs crushed with one punch from that gorilla. If there are trees and **** in the "battlezone" it's game over, regardless of what the humans do. If you really think a guy who can bench 400lbs is going to hurt a god damn gorilla... it's a joke. Their muscles are literally built differently. And don't forget the average silverback can run up to 25mph, which is just a bit faster than Usain Bolt averages a 100m dash in. The strength discrepancy between a silverback and the strongest offensive lineman is larger than that between the lineman and a 7 year old kid.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4amRA0jl0qI Here is a gorilla lazily tearing a banana tree (not the thickest trees, but still) like it is made of paper. It is not angry. It is not trying. It just doesn't like the tree and would like to rip it into pieces.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7MUA_sbcVDc

Another one of a gorilla calmly tearing a tree down. Not angry, hardly appears to be trying.

[9erempiree]

The Steelers will win. Too much man power for the animal. Get a couple of guys to provoke and tease the gorilla. Preferably someone with speed. Once it gets tired, you go in for the attack.

Attack and hurt the most vulnerable part of his body. Which is the nose, eyes, ears, anus and his balls. Gouge, poke and use fingers to penetrate those parts of the body. You have to attack these parts of the body because these are entrances to the inside of him. Rip his nose out. Rip his eyes out. Rip his ears out. The gorilla's senses would be shot and go for the kill.

Then proceed to do this. 53 guys is a lot for a creature that is non-violent herbivore.

[Jameerthefear]

This is why the gorilla wins, though. Human self-preservation instinct is too high. Would you be willing to have your testicles ripped off so your buddy can deliver a blow to the gorillas head?



These are tiny chimps compared to a ****ing gorilla. The first few people would literally get torn into pieces by the gorilla. Have you seen the lady who had her face ripped off by a tiny chimp?

http://www.t-nation.com/img/photos/2011/11-676-02/gorilla-bearing-teeth.jpg

If you're talking about 53 people with implants in their heads so they are controlled to have no regard for their life then yeah, they can get one silverback. Otherwise no one is ****ing with that Gorilla. Your skull will be crushed, your face bitten off, your internal organs crushed with one punch from that gorilla. If there are trees and **** in the "battlezone" it's game over, regardless of what the humans do. If you really think a guy who can bench 400lbs is going to hurt a god damn gorilla... it's a joke. Their muscles are literally built differently. And don't forget the average silverback can run up to 25mph, which is just a bit faster than Usain Bolt averages a 100m dash in. The strength discrepancy between a silverback and the strongest offensive lineman is larger than that between the lineman and a 7 year old kid.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4amRA0jl0qI Here is a gorilla lazily tearing a banana tree (not the thickest trees, but still) like it is made of paper. It is not angry. It is not trying. It just doesn't like the tree and would like to rip it into pieces.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7MUA_sbcVDc

Another one of a gorilla calmly tearing a tree down. Not angry, hardly appears to be trying.
bolt's top speed is 27.44 miles

[tomSR.]

The Steelers will win. Too much man power for the animal. Get a couple of guys to provoke and tease the gorilla. Preferably someone with speed. Once it gets tired, you go in for the attack.

Attack and hurt the most vulnerable part of his body. Which is the nose, eyes, ears, anus and his balls. Gouge, poke and use fingers to penetrate those parts of the body. You have to attack these parts of the body because these are entrances to the inside of him. Rip his nose out. Rip his eyes out. Rip his ears out. The gorilla's senses would be shot and go for the kill.

Then proceed to do this. 53 guys is a lot for a creature that is non-violent herbivore.

:biggums:

[Akrazotile]

This is why the gorilla wins, though. Human self-preservation instinct is too high. Would you be willing to have your testicles ripped off so your buddy can deliver a blow to the gorillas head?



What you are overlooking tho is the simple fact that when a brave warrior dies, he receives 72 virgins in Paradise. This alone is incentive enough to perform kamikaze duties in battle between a professional football team and a silverback gorilla.

If you think about it, its really just common sense.

[Dictator]

Maybe If everyone was bloodlusted the steelers could win. I'm pretty sure almost every player would be too scared to do anything besides throw a shoe at the gorilla.

Stop overrating the gorilla's physical power. No animal is gonna one shot you. Most animals maul you to death but its not instant like you guys are making it.

Also, how are the steelers gonna hurt the gorilla with no weapons?

[KingBeasley08]

Easily the Steelers. I could probably take the gorilla myself. I'd like to see that thing go against my intellect and killer arm-bars.

Silverback crushes Steel City

[Akrazotile]

Easily the Steelers. I could probably take the gorilla myself. I'd like to see that thing go against my intellect and killer arm-bars.

Silverback crushes Steel City

The arm bars would def be tough but I think in intellect the gorilla holds advantage

[KingBeasley08]

The arm bars would def be tough but I think in intellect the gorilla holds advantage
Nice :oldlol:

[9erempiree]

How about 53 Steelers armed with ice picks vs a Silverback.

[MavsSuperFan]

53 humans >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> any animal ever.
IQ and strategy>>>>>>>>>>>>>> physical strength

You realize our ancestors used to hunt wholly mammoths right?

[Akrazotile]

53 humans >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> any animal ever.
IQ and strategy>>>>>>>>>>>>>> physical strength

You realize our ancestors used to hunt wholly mammoths right?


Not without weapons (I dont think). Thats the premise of the thread, no weapons or anything.

I still agree 53 strong and coordinated men take down a silverback.

[Akrazotile]

Nice :oldlol:


:cheers:

[DonDadda59]

This is why the gorilla wins, though. Human self-preservation instinct is too high. Would you be willing to have your testicles ripped off so your buddy can deliver a blow to the gorillas head?



Exactly. As soon as a group of pampered millionaires saw a few of their buddies have their nuts and faces ripped off, they'd turn and run as fast as possible in the other direction, setting personal bests in 40 times :lol

[BLAM I AM]

Exactly. As soon as a group of pampered millionaires saw a few of their buddies have their nuts and faces ripped off, they'd turn and run as fast as possible in the other direction, setting personal bests in 40 times :lol

Thats exactly what i was thinking, watching a few of your buddies get dismembered is not gonna incline the rest of them to jump in. Honestly i dont see how they are gonna get close enough to do any significant damage. I think people are underrating the gorillas intelligence, what stops it from using a dead body as a weapon...opposable thumbs people...