Joakim Noah vs. Biblical Noah

[bagelred]

http://blogs.bet.com/news/playahater/wp-content/uploads/2008/05/noahx1.jpg

http://z.about.com/d/atheism/1/0/b/e/NoahDoveReturns.jpg

One is pretty good at getting Double doubles.

The other one brings along animals in double doubles.





Kind of a tossup? :confusedshrug:

[dr8ked]

:roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll:

[Jailblazers7]

I bet biblical Noah doesn't like Cleveland either.

[824]

I bet biblical Noah doesn't like Cleveland either.

Not even Jesus likes the city of Cleveland, he sacrificed himself for our sins (except for those that reside in Cleveland).

[bagelred]

Chicago fans, of course, will go for Joakim. They are such homers.

[DukeDelonte13]

one survived elimination, one won't.

[ILLsmak]

one survived elimination, one won't.

loool, this thread is corny but it makes you chuckle anyway...

-Smak

[icewill36]

one survived elimination, one won't.

nice one


at least bulls noah keeps it real, biblical noah is a fictional character

[Papaya Petee]

nice one


at least bulls noah keeps it real, biblical noah is a fictional character

http://i241.photobucket.com/albums/ff291/KariSuekitty/Kariasakid.jpg

[TennesseeFan]

nice one


at least bulls noah keeps it real, biblical noah is a fictional character

Napoleon and Hitler are fictional characters, just because they are dead? :confusedshrug:

[Go Getter]

Napoleon and Hitler are fictional characters, just because they are dead? :confusedshrug:


Religion aside common sense tells us that it is impossible to collect two of every animal known to man and put them on a ship.

[ZeN]

one survived elimination, one won't.
:roll:

[TennesseeFan]

Religion aside common sense tells us that it is impossible to collect two of every animal known to man and put them on a ship.

"23Then Jesus said to his disciples, "I tell you the truth, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. 24Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God."

25When the disciples heard this, they were greatly astonished and asked, "Who then can be saved?"

26Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."
27Peter answered him, "We have left everything to follow you! What then will there be for us?"

28Jesus said to them, "I tell you the truth, at the renewal of all things, when the Son of Man sits on his glorious throne, you who have followed me will also sit on twelve thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel. 29And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother[f] or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life. 30But many who are first will be last, and many who are last will be first."

Matthew 19 23-28

Take from it what you will.

[Go Getter]

"23Then Jesus said to his disciples, "I tell you the truth, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. 24Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God."

25When the disciples heard this, they were greatly astonished and asked, "Who then can be saved?"

26Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."
27Peter answered him, "We have left everything to follow you! What then will there be for us?"

28Jesus said to them, "I tell you the truth, at the renewal of all things, when the Son of Man sits on his glorious throne, you who have followed me will also sit on twelve thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel. 29And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother[f] or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life. 30But many who are first will be last, and many who are last will be first."

Matthew 19 23-28

Take from it what you will.


Yeah yeah yeah....if that's your faith then fine...but I don't believe in much of that....God put his will in the hearts of men not on paper.

Anything that man interprets is bound to have flaws.

With that said the bible is a bunch of fables....and it's so contradictoryl that it';s not even funny.

[TennesseeFan]

Yeah yeah yeah....if that's your faith then fine...but I don't believe in much of that....God put his will in the hearts of men not on paper.

Anything that man interprets is bound to have flaws.

With that said the bible is a bunch of fables....and it's so contradictoryl that it';s not even funny.

Whatever you think.

Its historical documentiation, with the birth, death and ressurection of Christ verifiying all of it 2,000 years ago.

[King Lebron LBJ]

one survived elimination, one won't.

:oldlol: :D

[TennesseeFan]

This thread was hilarious though

[Go Getter]

I lol'd at DukeDelonte:lol

[BlueandGold]

"23Then Jesus said to his disciples, "I tell you the truth, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. 24Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God."

25When the disciples heard this, they were greatly astonished and asked, "Who then can be saved?"

26Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."
27Peter answered him, "We have left everything to follow you! What then will there be for us?"

28Jesus said to them, "I tell you the truth, at the renewal of all things, when the Son of Man sits on his glorious throne, you who have followed me will also sit on twelve thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel. 29And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother[f] or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life. 30But many who are first will be last, and many who are last will be first."

Matthew 19 23-28

Take from it what you will.

Speaking from a strictly literature type perspective, that kind of writing is extremely general/universal type stuff that is intended to be all-inclusive to everyone to draw in as many people as it can. Reminds me a lot of the cult-based writings that were indicative of the 70s cult culture like that of Jim Jones and Jonestown.

[Glide2keva]

nice one


at least bulls noah keeps it real, biblical noah is a fictional character
Truth!

[Glide2keva]

Whatever you think.

Its historical documentiation, with the birth, death and ressurection of Christ verifiying all of it 2,000 years ago.
Fact? The Three Pigs is more historical fact than the bible is.

[ezzy]

i know a jesus from cleveland, and he'd probably shoot noah if he came around talkin' that smack. there's a lot of jesus' around here.

i wish anyone that's not been to more than 20 cities or 5 countries would stop trying to crack on cleveland. bunch of the usual suburban ISH ignorance. i'll put my city against yours, cuz i know how i rate things, and i've been around and know that if you know what's up, clevo is a fine place. going to an airport or a funeral or a trade show once does not make you some expert on some place.

the only depression in cleveland is the realization of how fugged up things are. if you are somewhere where you think it's that much better you are kidding yourself. look around, it's all ghetto. it's how you spend your time that's important. no sweat off my back though.

[Disaprine]

:roll: at the attention whoring atheists in this site :roll:

[BrentISballin]

Religion aside common sense tells us that it is impossible to collect two of every animal known to man and put them on a ship.
Impossible? Really? How long did it take you to develop that, come on guy. Impossible is nothing to God.

[lpublic_enemyl]

Impossible? Really? How long did it take you to develop that, come on guy. Impossible is nothing to God.
addidas

[Dave3]

With that said the bible is a bunch of fables....and it's so contradictoryl that it';s not even funny.
I don't want to get into any religious debate, but just wanted to point out that there aren't any actual contradictions if you're taking things in context. That is all. Have a nice day.

[RainierBeachPoet]

one boxes out nba beasts in the key;

the other boxes beasts onto an ark

[crisoner]

I prefer this Noah over both...

http://www.noahalperconsulting.com/images/bagel_logo_sm.jpg

http://midlifebatmitzvah.files.wordpress.com/2009/12/noah.jpg

[icewill36]

lol @ anyone believing in the story of noahs ark....

how did animals native only to australia get on the ark ??? did they swim across the ocean to get there ??

if there were only two, are all animals products of incest ??

how did all of these animals co-exist on a big boat without eating each other ???

how did they keep the boat sanitary ??? thats alot of sh!t to clean up LOL

LMFAO @ anyone who believes that non-sense

[G.O.A.T]

lol @ anyone believing in the story of noahs ark....

how did animals native only to australia get on the ark ??? did they swim across the ocean to get there ??

if there were only two, are all animals products of incest ??

how did all of these animals co-exist on a big boat without eating each other ???

how did they keep the boat sanitary ??? thats alot of sh!t to clean up LOL

LMFAO @ anyone who believes that non-sense

I wish there was a TV show where people could ask these questions to people who do believe in things like the story of Noah's Ark.

[burnsy87]

I wish there was a TV show where people could ask these questions to people who do believe in things like the story of Noah's Ark.

Why? They would just say "God did it"

[ILLsmak]

lol @ anyone believing in the story of noahs ark....

how did animals native only to australia get on the ark ??? did they swim across the ocean to get there ??

if there were only two, are all animals products of incest ??

how did all of these animals co-exist on a big boat without eating each other ???

how did they keep the boat sanitary ??? thats alot of sh!t to clean up LOL

LMFAO @ anyone who believes that non-sense

I think of the Bible as mostly symbolism, but there is proof of a flood. Maybe it was just a flood of the middle eastern region and maybe he just brought as many animals as he could (like livestock, for instance.)

But more than likely it's just a symbolic story that has really gained ground over the years.

Just like, you know, old dude being swallowed by the Whale, parting the red sea... I think that people get it twisted. I personally have faith that anything can happen, but that those probably didn't happen. It's not saying they couldn't happen... and nobody is trying to discredit the power of God, but on the other hand, it's irrelevant and your belief in God shouldn't hinge on adhering to the absolute letter of the Bible. If it does, you are in for a rude awakening. Take a class on religion or the Bible.

-Smak

[BrentISballin]

I wish there was a TV show where people could ask these questions to people who do believe in things like the story of Noah's Ark.
Theres nothing to prove, what would be the point of a show?

The fact is our minds don't have the capacity to try and logically figure out the super natural, yet somehow everybody is a genius once they read a few books and can use their common sense and logic to solve the past and future :rolleyes:

[Mike~Mike]

Chicago fans, of course, will go for Joakim. They are such homers.
you sound sweet as hell bro.

[icewill36]

I think of the Bible as mostly symbolism, but there is proof of a flood. Maybe it was just a flood of the middle eastern region and maybe he just brought as many animals as he could (like livestock, for instance.)

But more than likely it's just a symbolic story that has really gained ground over the years.

Just like, you know, old dude being swallowed by the Whale, parting the red sea... I think that people get it twisted. I personally have faith that anything can happen, but that those probably didn't happen. It's not saying they couldn't happen... and nobody is trying to discredit the power of God, but on the other hand, it's irrelevant and your belief in God shouldn't hinge on adhering to the absolute letter of the Bible. If it does, you are in for a rude awakening. Take a class on religion or the Bible.

-Smak

symbolism my ass... the bible states he built a boat that was about the size of a couple football fields.... how the **** did one man build that ? there arent enough trees in the middle east for that.

religious people dont ask questions and refuse to apply any kind of logic or ration. they just use typical copout, "all things are possible through god." even though it makes no damn sense AT ALL. but its funny if i say i believed the stories in greek mythology they'd say i was an idiot because all that stuff is ridiculous.... and noahs ark isn't ? SMH

and i believe it IS important to be able to believe what the bible says to faith, since it is really the only kind "proof" of his existence. if you cant believe whats in its pages, why would you even follow that religion and base your life around it ? people are sheep plain and simple. they figure it must be true if millions of others believe it.

[dough]

i choose mother goose over noah. more realistic.

[RainierBeachPoet]

lol @ anyone believing in the story of noahs ark....

how did animals native only to australia get on the ark ??? did they swim across the ocean to get there ??

if there were only two, are all animals products of incest ??

how did all of these animals co-exist on a big boat without eating each other ???

how did they keep the boat sanitary ??? thats alot of sh!t to clean up LOL

LMFAO @ anyone who believes that non-sense

hint: do not read the story literally but as an explanation of the effects of sin and its effects among humans, God and creation

[Grey Dawn]

God wants a LA Lakers/Cleavland Cavs final! Go all-powerfulness!

[flipogb]

Not even Jesus likes the city of Cleveland, he sacrificed himself for our sins (except for those that reside in Cleveland).
well they live in Cleveland so they are kind of paying for their sins already , no need for Jesus to help them out on that

[HeyMarkus]

documentation? shit, what the bible? theres no proof whatsoever jesus even existed .. not even any witness accounts at all.


jus sayin

[Lebron23]

documentation? shit, what the bible? theres no proof whatsoever jesus even existed .. not even any witness accounts at all.


jus sayin


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Josephus_on_Jesus.

Josephus was not a Christian.

Physical Appearance of Jesus

http://mynameisbrandon.files.wordpress.com/2007/04/jesusbbc.jpg

Facial composite of Yeshua Bar Josef. ( Jesus, Son of Joseph)

[imlmf]

debating religion is like calling someone fugly

you know he's fugly, he knows he's fugly, but you just can't say it in his face, because that's not respectful

lol, i mean what normal people would really believe that noah stuff? they just wouldn't admit it that it's made up

[DuMa]

jesus of coney island > jesus of the nazareth

[Chalkmaze]

Whatever you think.

Its historical documentiation, with the birth, death and ressurection of Christ verifiying all of it 2,000 years ago.

http://img693.imageshack.us/img693/1208/ca2301trevery.gif

Joakim is the real deal, he's got my vote.

[OldSchoolBBall]

I laughed my ass off at the title of the thread alone. Then the OP did it. Bravo. :oldlol:

[scott0326]

God is real, those who don't believe are stupid.

[plowking]

God is real, those who don't believe are stupid.

Which one though?

Are people who aren't Christian believers stupid? How about Muslims? Buddhists?

[scott0326]

Which one though?

Are people who aren't Christian believers stupid? How about Muslims? Buddhists?
The God. There isn't 45. If you believe otherwise you will be the 3rd turtle and not get on Noahs ark.

[plowking]

The God. There isn't 45. If you believe otherwise you will be the 3rd turtle and not get on Noahs ark.

Which God though? There are various religions, which one do you believe is right?

[icewill36]

The God. There isn't 45. If you believe otherwise you will be the 3rd turtle and not get on Noahs ark.

lol

http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i162/Letha123/notsureifserious.jpg

[Yung D-Will]

God is real, those who don't believe are stupid.
:oldlol:

[Micku]

God is real, those who don't believe are stupid.

"Intelligent people 'less likely to believe in God' "

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/2111174/Intelligent-people-less-likely-to-believe-in-God.html

As an earlier post said, biblical Noah probably won't like Cleveland either. Cleveland sucks that badly.

[vinsane01]

IMO, Joakim > biblical noah.

I bet the biblical noah cant talk sht to lebron unlike joakim!

[CakeorDeath]

Can we get back to the point of this thread? To compare NBA players to biblical figures?

I've got one:

James the Greater, Son of Zebedee vs. LeBron James

One is a beloved disciple of Jesus whose burial site is the ultimate destination of the third most important pilgrimage route in Christendom and the other is TOTALLY OVERRATED!!!

[Chuchu]

I usually don't like to get into these type of arguments over the Internet, but I just felt I had too. A preacher once preached in my Church and he compared God to pain, you can't see it, but you know it's there.

To each his own, you either believe or you don't believe.

God Bless,
Chuchu.

[icewill36]

I usually don't like to get into these type of arguments over the Internet, but I just felt I had too. A man once preached in my Church and he compared God to pain, you can't see it, but you know it's there.

To each his own, you either believe or you don't believe.

God Bless,
Chuchu.

thats the dumbest thing ive ever heard.... you DONT know its there, you want it to be there so let yourself believe you feel it.

[Chalkmaze]

A man once preached in my Church and he compared God to pain, you can't see it, but you know it's there.

Take a couple sugar pills and the pain will go away.

[jbot]

Whatever you think.

Its historical documentiation, with the birth, death and ressurection of Christ verifiying all of it 2,000 years ago.
yet there are no other historical accounts for jesus walking around and doing all his wonders other than the bible itself.

religion is a good thing for the people who believe in it, but not in the magical way most believe.

[liquidrage]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Josephus_on_Jesus.

Josephus was not a Christian.

Physical Appearance of Jesus

http://mynameisbrandon.files.wordpress.com/2007/04/jesusbbc.jpg

Facial composite of Yeshua Bar Josef. ( Jesus, Son of Joseph)

Josephus was not a contemporary of Jesus.

He devoted almost nothing in his History to Jesus (John the Baptist got several chapters for example), one inclusion is considered by most to be forged in terms of impact (though accurate in mentioning), and the other regards Josh as brother of James. The fact that Christians existed and worshiped Jesus by the time he wrote Antiquities is not in debate, it's an obvious fact, and his writings do nothing more then confirm that already established fact.

Whether a historical Jesus exists or not is debatable. Possible, but the evidence isn't overwhelming. The most likely the stories are at least based on someone (or even someones) I would argue, but it's not established by any means.

What makes it more complicated is Jesus is a transliteration in English from Joshua. So in English we have Jesus and Joshua as two separate names. But that's just English. Natively in Hebrew, Jesus was called Yehoshua/Yeshua, which was the most common name of the time. So really, ignoring the English only context based transliteration, it's Joshua, Son of God. And you can see how, in an era where people didn't really use last names, that it becomes hard to identify historical evidence for Jesus. Basically, everything that points to a specific Joshua as Jesus is done after his life on Earth, after a following already exists.

[niko]

Josephus was not a contemporary of Jesus.

He devoted almost nothing in his History to Jesus (John the Baptist got several chapters for example), one inclusion is considered by most to be forged in terms of impact (though accurate in mentioning), and the other regards Josh as brother of James. The fact that Christians existed and worshiped Jesus by the time he wrote Antiquities is not in debate, it's an obvious fact, and his writings do nothing more then confirm that already established fact.

Whether a historical Jesus exists or not is debatable. Possible, but the evidence isn't overwhelming. The most likely the stories are at least based on someone (or even someones) I would argue, but it's not established by any means.

What makes it more complicated is Jesus is a transliteration in English from Joshua. So in English we have Jesus and Joshua as two separate names. But that's just English. Natively in Hebrew, Jesus was called Yehoshua/Yeshua, which was the most common name of the time. So really, ignoring the English only context based transliteration, it's Joshua, Son of God. And you can see how, in an era where people didn't really use last names, that it becomes hard to identify historical evidence for Jesus. Basically, everything that points to a specific Joshua as Jesus is done after his life on Earth, after a following already exists.

wtf are you talking a bout any of this in the joke noah thread?

[liquidrage]

wtf are you talking a bout any of this in the joke noah thread?

It's a tangential discussion. Mind your own fin business already.

[PistonsFan#21]

Which God though? There are various religions, which one do you believe is right?

There is numerous prophets but there is only one God

[bagelred]

Another Triple Double for Joakim. Still no match for the Original.

[nightprowler10]

Joakim is more of a team player.

[bagelred]

Look at this way:


Joakim Noah loves Bulls.
Biblical Noah loves Bulls, and Bears, and Tigers, and Cows, and Birds........

[nightprowler10]

Look at this way:


Joakim Noah loves Bulls.
Biblical Noah loves Bulls, and Bears, and Tigers, and Cows, and Birds........
Joakim the more loyal Noah.

[PrettyCool]

Op is trolling. That pic is of a 706 year old Noah. Everyone knoews Noah peeked at 368 years old. Dispete being 5'2 he would have wiped the floor with Joakim.

[Clifton]

one survived elimination, one won't.
Love it.

[tikay0]

This thread is winning.....:cheers: :rockon:

:pimp: (just for Noah)

[Glide2keva]

nice one


at least bulls noah keeps it real, biblical noah is a fictional character
This.

[Glide2keva]

Yeah yeah yeah....if that's your faith then fine...but I don't believe in much of that....God put his will in the hearts of men not on paper.

Anything that man interprets is bound to have flaws.

With that said the bible is a bunch of fables....and it's so contradictory that it's not even funny.

This too.

[bagelred]

Op is trolling. That pic is of a 706 year old Noah. Everyone knoews Noah peeked at 368 years old. Dispete being 5'2 he would have wiped the floor with Joakim.

Building an ark keeps you in shape.





.

[eurobum]

This is when you know it's a US based site. One mention of God and all the religious nuts (yes, most though not all of you Christians posting in this thread are nuts) come crawling out.

You don't believe in dinosaurs either, right?

[Segatti]

This is when you know it's a US based site. One mention of God and all the religious nuts (yes, most though not all of you Christians posting in this thread are nuts) come crawling out.

You don't believe in dinosaurs either, right?

Yeah, judging by your post and others (Glide2keva, Go Getter) in this thread you can see how much pacific and respectful people atheists are compared to the "religious nuts" :roll:

[eurobum]

Yeah, judging by your post and others (Glide2keva, Go Getter) in this thread you can see how much pacific and respectful people atheists are compared to the "religious nuts" :roll:

Why wouldn't I make fun of them? It's not that they believe in God - that's fine. It's that they're nuts. I make fun of nuts people.

And they don't even know the very dogma they subscribe to. The story of Noah is from the Old Testament, which is only included in the Bible because of its creation myth and few other outstanding elements that are important to Christianity (such as the Fall of Man so it could be used by Christianity to guilt humanity). As a whole, the Old Testament is of the Jewish canon with most of the literature being MYTHOLOGICAL no different than the Gods of Mount Olympus, the Nordic Gods of Valhalla, Winnie The Pooh, other fictional stuff (most of it written 600 BC when the Hebrews were exiled in Babylon). Why does Jesus mention it? Because he was a Jew and it was part of their holy scripture.

And yes, Jesus was a historical figure. He existed. A Jewish man wanting to re-interpret religion, relationship to God (Yahweh) and more (there's only ONE Yahweh, MJ DA GOD). Doesn't mean he walked on water or was the son of God, LOL. Maybe he himself believed he was the son of God, in which case he was probably a schizophrenic, delusional man. Or he knowingly conned people into thinking he was the son of God in order to further his agenda. Either way, people believed him and deityfied him. You think this is unlikely? It happens today even that people are mystified by charismatic, public personalities and embellish accounts/events of the person. Tex Winther is lying through his teeth when claiming Wilt Chamberlain shot 'dunking' free throws or whatever by the way, c'mon.

To literally believe in the story of Noah's Ark is nuts. To believe in God and take out of biblical allegories higher points of meaning, morality, justification of existence -- OK, that's not (totally) nuts.

Think about this, religious people. If we consider a cosmic calendar, consisting of 12 months of which January 1st at 00:00.0000000000001 AM is the birth of the universe. When do human beings come into the picture? Somewhere around December 31st 11.53 PM (or so, don't recall the exact time). Humans are such an insignificant organism in the macro perspective, yet you think we are special, chosen beings by the Bearded Guy upstairs. What about the other 14 billion years before humans existed; what was God doing in that time period? Or was the Earth created 4000 years ago? LOL.

To me, religion is a thing of duality. I respect people's spirituality and the belief of something higher than man, though I don't subscribe to this idea myself. I'm rational a man of science and reason. But extremists turn me off. Why not respect their belief? Because it's because of people like them we were set back as a species. Set back at least 1500 years. 1500 years of technological advancement we missed out on because generations of religious nuts suppressed scientific advancement that didn't adhere to their view on God.

2500 years ago there were some astronomers of antiquity who believed the Earth was round, the Earth was NOT the center of the universe (they did however believe the Sun was). They couldn't prove it yet because they lacked the tools and the mathematics, but some were very close. One did actually prove the Earth was round, an Egyptian mathematician. Because of the persecution of these and ANYONE who had similar thoughts until the f*cking renaissance around 1600 AC these ideas went underdeveloped for so long. Think of where we would be as a species, as a society had these things not been hindered. We would've been on Mars by now no doubt. Cancer? Hunger? Poverty?

Two millennia of technology we missed out on because extremists hanged people who in antiquity didn't believe Zeus and his gang. In the Roman empire and dark ages it was people who didn't believe in Jesus as the son of God and the list goes on.

So yeah, pardon me if I'm not gonna be all nice to nutty religious people.

[madmax]

Building an ark keeps you in shape.





.

:lol :roll:

[OldSchoolBBall]

The title of this thread alone made me lol. :oldlol:

[mkc931]

biblical noah plays no D. let two of each animal score on his ark.

plus, weak era. put joakim in his place and there would be no flood.

[no pun intended]

Joakim got swag.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bQ3y5hTHuP4

[Clifton]

Why wouldn't I make fun of them? It's not that they believe in God - that's fine. It's that they're nuts. I make fun of nuts people.

And they don't even know the very dogma they subscribe to. The story of Noah is from the Old Testament, which is only included in the Bible because of its creation myth and few other outstanding elements that are important to Christianity (such as the Fall of Man so it could be used by Christianity to guilt humanity). As a whole, the Old Testament is of the Jewish canon with most of the literature being MYTHOLOGICAL no different than the Gods of Mount Olympus, the Nordic Gods of Valhalla, Winnie The Pooh, other fictional stuff (most of it written 600 BC when the Hebrews were exiled in Babylon). Why does Jesus mention it? Because he was a Jew and it was part of their holy scripture.

And yes, Jesus was a historical figure. He existed. A Jewish man wanting to re-interpret religion, relationship to God (Yahweh) and more (there's only ONE Yahweh, MJ DA GOD). Doesn't mean he walked on water or was the son of God, LOL. Maybe he himself believed he was the son of God, in which case he was probably a schizophrenic, delusional man. Or he knowingly conned people into thinking he was the son of God in order to further his agenda. Either way, people believed him and deityfied him. You think this is unlikely? It happens today even that people are mystified by charismatic, public personalities and embellish accounts/events of the person. Tex Winther is lying through his teeth when claiming Wilt Chamberlain shot 'dunking' free throws or whatever by the way, c'mon.

To literally believe in the story of Noah's Ark is nuts. To believe in God and take out of biblical allegories higher points of meaning, morality, justification of existence -- OK, that's not (totally) nuts.

Think about this, religious people. If we consider a cosmic calendar, consisting of 12 months of which January 1st at 00:00.0000000000001 AM is the birth of the universe. When do human beings come into the picture? Somewhere around December 31st 11.53 PM (or so, don't recall the exact time). Humans are such an insignificant organism in the macro perspective, yet you think we are special, chosen beings by the Bearded Guy upstairs. What about the other 14 billion years before humans existed; what was God doing in that time period? Or was the Earth created 4000 years ago? LOL.

To me, religion is a thing of duality. I respect people's spirituality and the belief of something higher than man, though I don't subscribe to this idea myself. I'm rational a man of science and reason. But extremists turn me off. Why not respect their belief? Because it's because of people like them we were set back as a species. Set back at least 1500 years. 1500 years of technological advancement we missed out on because generations of religious nuts suppressed scientific advancement that didn't adhere to their view on God.

2500 years ago there were some astronomers of antiquity who believed the Earth was round, the Earth was NOT the center of the universe (they did however believe the Sun was). They couldn't prove it yet because they lacked the tools and the mathematics, but some were very close. One did actually prove the Earth was round, an Egyptian mathematician. Because of the persecution of these and ANYONE who had similar thoughts until the f*cking renaissance around 1600 AC these ideas went underdeveloped for so long. Think of where we would be as a species, as a society had these things not been hindered. We would've been on Mars by now no doubt. Cancer? Hunger? Poverty?

Two millennia of technology we missed out on because extremists hanged people who in antiquity didn't believe Zeus and his gang. In the Roman empire and dark ages it was people who didn't believe in Jesus as the son of God and the list goes on.

So yeah, pardon me if I'm not gonna be all nice to nutty religious people.
Hey, look, someone mentioned God, and a religious nut came in and typed out his graduate dissertation that nobody asked for. :oldlol:

[Clifton]

Think of where we would be as a species, as a society had these things not been hindered. We would've been on Mars by now no doubt. Cancer? Hunger? Poverty?
We could have had Brazzers by the nineteenth century.

[bagelred]

I feel this game could go a long way in settling this debate.

[jongib369]

I'll take the guy who did a bunch of drugs and talked to a bush

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/0/00/Bouts_moses.jpg/464px-Bouts_moses.jpg

"Dude you don't even know how strong that shit was...Yahweh like totally came out of this bush that was on fire and told me to lead the Israelites"