Funniest NBA quotes

[Harison]

"After being treated for a kidney stone, Lakers coach Phil Jackson said "When the anesthesiologist leaned over me, he said "We named your kidney stone Kobe because it's not passing."

"The last time we won here, Snoop Dogg was still a pup."
- Rudy Tomjanovic, on the Rockets playing in Orlando.

New York Knicks fan: "Hey, Damon...you can come here and live in my house."
Damon Stoudamire: "I'd live in your doghouse to get out of this shit."

"Now, if a player does not have an altercation on or off the court once each month, we fine him. I've tried to get this into the press, but people won't pay attention. And, the guys who are our top four scorers, each of them will be required once every two months to appear on MTV. And the guys who shoot the worst free throws over a one-month period, the next time we have a TV game, they are required to look into the camera and beat their chests after they make a good play. I think then we will have a little bit different reputation."
- Gregg Popovich.

"I wasn't impressed with the way he coached tonight, either."
- Jason Terry, after Hawks coach Terry Stotts said he wasn't impressed with the way JT had played.

"I would compare Rod to classical music - it just flows, a steady stream of melody, real free-flowing, something mixed up with a lot of tempo. Troy's like rock and roll, or rap. He comes out energetic, keeps you on your feet. At certain times you need that, and at certain times you need the classical music."
- Kevin Garnett, comparing Rod Strickland to Troy Hudson.

"They better not put me in the All -Star Game. I won't shoot, but I'll dominate that easy game. I'll be playing hard defense. I'll be foulin'. I'll be flagrant fouling. Everyone will be like, 'What are you doing?'"
- Ron Artest.

"He's white normally, but he's really white now."
- Larry Brown, on Keith Van Horn being sick.

"Isiah Thomas: "I've got some bad news. We're trading you to Phoenix."
Antonio McDyess: "What's the bad news?"

- Kobe Bryant's wife noticed Karl Malone's cowboy boots and asked him, "Hey, Cowboy, what are you hunting for?"
"I'm hunting for little Mexican girls."


"I've got to stop this. My entourages are getting entourages."
- Jalen Rose, on the trouble finding tickets for everyone when he returns to Detroit.

"Both teams played hard."
- Rasheed Wallace's answer to every question in a post game interview, for which he received a massive fine.

"Shaq does it all the time...."
- Kobe Bryant to the arresting officers in his rape trial.

- Charles Barkley, when asked if he had any regrets after throwing a fan out a window at a bar.
"I regret we weren't on a higher floor."

"So, which one of you guys is going to come in second?"
- Larry Bird, in the locker room before the first three point contest. He won.

[me_]

I don't remember that one from Artest but it sounds just like him :oldlol:

[AJ2k8]

Funny stuff:cheers:

[strike]

"After being treated for a kidney stone, Lakers coach Phil Jackson said "When the anesthesiologist leaned over me, he said "We named your kidney stone Kobe because it's not passing."

"The last time we won here, Snoop Dogg was still a pup."
- Rudy Tomjanovic, on the Rockets playing in Orlando.

New York Knicks fan: "Hey, Damon...you can come here and live in my house."
Damon Stoudamire: "I'd live in your doghouse to get out of this shit."

"Now, if a player does not have an altercation on or off the court once each month, we fine him. I've tried to get this into the press, but people won't pay attention. And, the guys who are our top four scorers, each of them will be required once every two months to appear on MTV. And the guys who shoot the worst free throws over a one-month period, the next time we have a TV game, they are required to look into the camera and beat their chests after they make a good play. I think then we will have a little bit different reputation."
- Gregg Popovich.

"I wasn't impressed with the way he coached tonight, either."
- Jason Terry, after Hawks coach Terry Stotts said he wasn't impressed with the way JT had played.

"I would compare Rod to classical music - it just flows, a steady stream of melody, real free-flowing, something mixed up with a lot of tempo. Troy's like rock and roll, or rap. He comes out energetic, keeps you on your feet. At certain times you need that, and at certain times you need the classical music."
- Kevin Garnett, comparing Rod Strickland to Troy Hudson.

"They better not put me in the All -Star Game. I won't shoot, but I'll dominate that easy game. I'll be playing hard defense. I'll be foulin'. I'll be flagrant fouling. Everyone will be like, 'What are you doing?'"
- Ron Artest.

"He's white normally, but he's really white now."
- Larry Brown, on Keith Van Horn being sick.

"Isiah Thomas: "I've got some bad news. We're trading you to Phoenix."
Antonio McDyess: "What's the bad news?"

- Kobe Bryant's wife noticed Karl Malone's cowboy boots and asked him, "Hey, Cowboy, what are you hunting for?"
"I'm hunting for little Mexican girls."


"I've got to stop this. My entourages are getting entourages."
- Jalen Rose, on the trouble finding tickets for everyone when he returns to Detroit.

"Both teams played hard."
- Rasheed Wallace's answer to every question in a post game interview, for which he received a massive fine.

"Shaq does it all the time...."
- Kobe Bryant to the arresting officers in his rape trial.

- Charles Barkley, when asked if he had any regrets after throwing a fan out a window at a bar.
"I regret we weren't on a higher floor."

"So, which one of you guys is going to come in second?"
- Larry Bird, in the locker room before the first three point contest. He won.


quality.

love artest's one

[markymark]

"Shaq does it all the time..."

GOLD! Never knew about this! :oldlol:

[strike]

"Shaq does it all the time..."

GOLD! Never knew about this! :oldlol:

lol i know that one cracked me up

[Harison]

"You know, softball is the other sport I do besides basketball."

[miamiandorlando]

"After being treated for a kidney stone, Lakers coach Phil Jackson said "When the anesthesiologist leaned over me, he said "We named your kidney stone Kobe because it's not passing."

"I wasn't impressed with the way he coached tonight, either."
- Jason Terry, after Hawks coach Terry Stotts said he wasn't impressed with the way JT had played.

.
:roll: :applause:

[Pointguard]

Good Stuff!

[Crown&Coke]

"Kids, do drugs"-Scott Pollard while sitting on the bench as the camera breezes by him, who then subsequently got fined and apologized.

[Nash]

"When Micheal Jordan scored 69 points, I knew I'd always remember it as the night me and Micheal combined for 70 points"
-Former Bull Stacey King
:roll:

[Harison]

Cops pull Rasheed and some of his fellow Trail blazers over and asks him if they have any more weed (cuz he smelled weed) "nope, we smoked it all up."

[rodman91]

[QUOTE=Harison]Cops pull Rasheed and some of his fellow Trail blazers over and asks him if they have any more weed (cuz he smelled weed) "nope, we smoked it all up."

[HEAT111]

"Hey this is Charles Barkely...I hope you're enjoying the NBA playoffs on TNT...and I hope you've enjoyed my T-Mobile fav 5 list...I'm a Dumbass."

Charles Barkely reading from the camera.

[Crown&Coke]

"Hey this is Charles Barkely...I hope you're enjoying the NBA playoffs on TNT...and I hope you've enjoyed my T-Mobile fav 5 list...I'm a Dumbass."

Charles Barkely reading from the camera.

I saw that! that was pretty hilarious at the time. Please youtube that if you haven't seen it, because it is awesome.

[Crown&Coke]

Last one was cold. :cry:

That was pretty cold, and for Mike Bibby to say that :wtf: it isn't like he has a vast knowledge base on that particular subject as well.

[Clutch]

Both teams played hard."
- Rasheed Wallace's answer to every question in a post game interview, for which he received a massive fine.

- Charles Barkley, when asked if he had any regrets after throwing a fan out a window at a bar.
"I regret we weren't on a higher floor."

"We have a great bunch of outside shooters. Unfortunately, all our games are played indoors." - Weldon Drew

"When Micheal Jordan scored 69 points, I knew I'd always remember it as the night me and Micheal combined for 70 points"
-Former Bull Stacey King

Best ones

Btw,someone asked a link to Charles Barkley "Dumbass"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bxuynicf9rI

[Mr. Jabbar]

Paul Pierce after the win @ MIA via twitter:


"It's been a pleasure to bring my talents to south beach now on to Memphis."

[jamal99]

After an Olympic Dream Team victory over Angola, in which they won 116-48, Charles got into a physical altercation with a member of Angola towards the end of the game, afterwards he says: "Somebody hits me, I'm going to hit him back. Even if it does look like he hasn't eaten in a couple weeks. I thought he was going to pull a spear on me."
Barkley ofc

[momo]

"Now, if a player does not have an altercation on or off the court once each month, we fine him. I've tried to get this into the press, but people won't pay attention. And, the guys who are our top four scorers, each of them will be required once every two months to appear on MTV. And the guys who shoot the worst free throws over a one-month period, the next time we have a TV game, they are required to look into the camera and beat their chests after they make a good play. I think then we will have a little bit different reputation." - Gregg Popovich.

:lol

Pops a riot.

[alenleomessi]

Sir Charles is a living legend

[Figlo]

"Yo Kobe, pass me the rock!" - Kid at Summer Camp
"I ain't passing ****" - Kobe Bryant

"Imagine if you guys had won a game in the finals" - Jimmy Kimmel to LeBron after LeBron got carried onto a stage sitting on a throne.

"That's horrorawful" - Shaq on Craig Sagers suit

"John Stockton" - Gary Payton after being asked who's the best player he's ever played against.

"Latrell Spreewell" - Chris Mullin when asked about who's the hardest working man in the NBA.

[Figlo]

Delonte West - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G04tq40XNZc

Shaq - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cHCnisfMIjk

LeBron - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ldTtmeYzOgo

Latrell Sprewell - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=edtCa8O0hiM

Rasheed Wallace - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4QDZoHfh6Ac

Flip Saunders - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=owpC3hIDG_c

Hedo Turkoglu - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A8_3JbyjfO0

[VishaltotheG]

Paul Pierce after the win @ MIA via twitter:


"It's been a pleasure to bring my talents to south beach now on to Memphis."

I never got why that was supposed to be funny. Just because he mocked LeBron in the most juvenile way possible?

[Myth]

I remember a few all-star games ago (2004 to be precise), Beyonce performed at half time. Immediately following, it went to the TNT crew where Kevin Smith was singing the Beyonce song and Barkley randomly said, "I have nothing against gay people... but after seeing Beyonce, who would want to be gay?"

I don't remember the exact quote but PJ Carlisimo's first national game that he was in the booth was a Knick game. At half time, he said, "Sprewell is just strangling the other team out there."

[Grafbag]

Delonte West - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G04tq40XNZc

Shaq - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cHCnisfMIjk

LeBron - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ldTtmeYzOgo

Latrell Sprewell - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=edtCa8O0hiM

Rasheed Wallace - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4QDZoHfh6Ac

Flip Saunders - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=owpC3hIDG_c

Hedo Turkoglu - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A8_3JbyjfO0

:wtf: Delonte West sounds like a downie

[Crown&Coke]

I remember a few all-star games ago (2004 to be precise), Beyonce performed at half time. Immediately following, it went to the TNT crew where Kevin Smith was singing the Beyonce song and Barkley randomly said, "I have nothing against gay people... but after seeing Beyonce, who would want to be gay?"

I don't remember the exact quote but PJ Carlisimo's first national game that he was in the booth was a Knick game. At half time, he said, "Sprewell is just strangling the other team out there."

:eek: :oldlol:


"We can't win at home. We can't win on the road. As general manager, I just can't figure out where else to play." Pat Williams, Orlando GM on his teams 1992 terrible start to the season.

"Left hand, right hand, it doesn't matter. I'm amphibious."
Charles Shackleford, Rusty's dad.

"They shot the ball well early. What comes out of the microwave hot doesn't always stay hot. I know, because I eat bagels in the morning."
Shaq, btw, who puts bagels in the microwave?

[jbryan1984]

I never got why that was supposed to be funny. Just because he mocked LeBron in the most juvenile way possible?



But how is that not hilarious unless you live in south florida?

[Clutch]

Evan Turner gets it to Andre Iguodala.That smash's nastier than his last name -
Kyle Montgomery(guy from nba.com) on Iguodala dunk

[Nachooo]

I never got why that was supposed to be funny. Just because he mocked LeBron in the most juvenile way possible?

Paul Pierce thinks hes a comedian

"I'm the best player. There's a line that separates having confidence and being conceited. I don't cross that line but I have a lot of confidence in myself."

"I would say I'm one of the best shooters in the NBA history"

[Maniak]

"So, which one of you guys is going to come in second?"
- Larry Bird, in the locker room before the first three point contest. He won.


Probably my favorite quote ever.

[gigantes]

Btw,someone asked a link to Charles Barkley "Dumbass"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bxuynicf9rI
i can't believe i never saw that one before!!!

:cheers:

[I know you are]

Cops pull Rasheed and some of his fellow Trail blazers over and asks him if they have any more weed (cuz he smelled weed) "nope, we smoked it all up."
I believe it was Damon Stoudamire.