Arkwardest/Embarrasing moments that ever happened to you?

[D12"Magic"]

When I was 14 in Gym class we had to do jumping jacks and I had to demonstrate and I was wearing sweats or shorts, either way my jewels were bouncing up and down. How embarrasing and arkward. Once in my sophmore year in HS, it was teachers vs students, I get a steal and I have all the momentum by myself and I blow the open layup :facepalm:

[L.Kizzle]

How was that embarrassing? Every man's jewels bounce when they do jump-n-jacks, well unless ... never mind.

[D12"Magic"]

How was that embarrassing? Every man's jewels bounce when they do jump-n-jacks, well unless ... never mind.
I was in middle school man.

[L.Kizzle]

I was in middle school man.
Still, how was it embarrassing?

[D12"Magic"]

Still, how was it embarrassing?
Dude, we were young, people were looking at me like Wtf and the girls were laughing then I was like what? then I look down the I go like damn, maybe it was not that embarrasing but definitly arkward.

[Rake2204]

In high school I was hanging out with a girl at her house. We had to go pick up her little sister at about 11pm. Then we went back to her house. Her dad was probably assuming I wasn't coming back, because when I opened the door he was just chilling in front of the refrigerator in his whitey tighties. He looked up like a deer caught in headlights. I was totally at a loss. I just started making uncomfortable noises like, "Ehhuhhehghhhhh" and I physically lifted my hand upward to shield my eyes from what lie before me. I then slowly backed away. I couldn't even muster the words to tell my girl what'd just happened, just "Ehhhhghhhhh-uhhhh". Her dad made her take me home.

So I guess that would be filed under awkward, not so much embarrassing, but maybe for him.

[ace23]

LMAO Reke :oldlol:

[Rake2204]

Also, for a "humor" speech in my public speaking class, one of my female classmates did "Top Ten Worst Ways to Commit Suicide". It may have been the most cringe-worthy, suicide-inducing presentations I've ever been a part of. She'd clearly printed this list off the internet and they were soooo. . .horrrrrrrible. I only remember one was "sticking your hand in a blender". She was even doing the thing where she'd explain the punchline, only making things worse: "Because. . .see. . .the hand in the blender. . it'd just. . .it'd hurt but it wouldn't kill you."

It was life changingly uncomfortable.

[28renyoy]

had a girl come over to my dorm freshman year for sex. she ended up staying in my bed 3 consecutive days and skipping class. when i mean staying i mean she literally did not leave my bed, even while i was in class. she got up to use the bathroom & shower, that was it. ended up having to make her leave

also walked into my friends bathroom to take a piss with my pants unzipped. opened the bathroom door to find his mom putting on a towel right in front of me while i had my dick in hand. i left immediately without saying a word to her or my friend.

however i have a friend that wins this thread. he stayed over at a friends house a morning before school. guy used his friends parents shower the next morning as the other bathroom was being used. after continuously *********ing in the shower he looks up to see his friends dad halfway done shaving, and this is a clear glass shower.

[D12"Magic"]

had a girl come over to my dorm freshman year for sex. she ended up staying in my bed 3 consecutive days and skipping class. when i mean staying i mean she literally did not leave my bed, even while i was in class. she got up to use the bathroom & shower, that was it. ended up having to make her leave

also walked into my friends bathroom to take a piss with my pants unzipped. opened the bathroom door to find his mom putting on a towel right in front of me while i had my dick in hand. i left immediately without saying a word to her or my friend.

however i have a friend that wins this thread. he stayed over at a friends house a morning before school. guy used his friends parents shower the next morning as the other bathroom was being used. after continuously *********ing in the shower he looks up to see his friends dad halfway done shaving, and this is a clear glass shower.
:roll: the last one

[28renyoy]

:roll: the last one

amazingly the 2nd and 3rd stories happened at the same house

[NastaMaverick]

ever wave back at someone you thought was waving at you? thats such a shitty feeling :oldlol:

[Rake2204]

however i have a friend that wins this thread. he stayed over at a friends house a morning before school. guy used his friends parents shower the next morning as the other bathroom was being used. after continuously *********ing in the shower he looks up to see his friends dad halfway done shaving, and this is a clear glass shower.
Now that's awkward.

A lot of unanswered questions there.


ever wave back at someone you thought was waving at you? thats such a shitty feeling :oldlol:
Story of my life. I struggle with wave theory. Through about 10th grade, I always waved back, and found there were many instances where I got the "no, the guy behind you" look. So then I just stopped waving back altogether, sometimes slightly nodding my head as a substitute. That way, if they're waving at me, they see the head nod. If they're not waving at me, maybe I just felt like tilting my head upward a little, maybe I have a tic.

I had a couple girls I knew honk and wave in my general direction a few weeks ago. I didn't wave back and it caused major problems. In my defense, I couldn't really tell who it was, but they were yelling my name, so not waving was kind of indefensible. Maybe that's the solution. Maybe wavers need to properly identify the receiver beforehand. Finger point, yell, then wave.

[D12"Magic"]

amazingly the 2nd and 3rd stories happened at the same house
Did you see his mom again?

[L.Kizzle]

ever wave back at someone you thought was waving at you? thats such a shitty feeling :oldlol:
Worse, you actually start a conversation with them, and they completely walk past you and engage with the person behind you.

[28renyoy]

Did you see his mom again?

ya but it was probably a few weeks later. he was one of my best friends, obviously i never brought it up

[PowerGlove]

amazingly the 2nd and 3rd stories happened at the same house
you should have smashed.

[Scholar]

WTF is "arkwardest"? :facepalm

I have plenty of stories to share here, but idk if I want to share any of them. . . :lol

[enayes]

WTF is "arkwardest"? :facepalm

I have plenty of stories to share here, but idk if I want to share any of them. . . :lol

what is this sh!t? why bother posting at all?

[ihatetimthomas]

back in college was when I was given a shot on fire with 151 in a shot sized paper cup. Cup started to burn so I dropped it on the table which in turn spilled and lit the table on fire. Yea I was dumb I was supposed to drop it in the soda but my first reaction was to just chuck the fire shot. Fortunately everyone poured their beer on it to put it out. wasnt even drunk yet and it was at the house of a chick I was trying to get at. lol, just remember everyone looking and laughing at what I had done.

Later that night, I was pouring the girl I was trying to get at some jungle juice out of a pitcher. It was a tupperware pitcher and had a lot of ice in it. I was pouring it into their cup as the top came off due to the weight and spilled all over her nice white jacket. Again, all eyes on me once again lol. Pretty embarrassing sequence of events esp in front of a girl you are trying to get with.:facepalm

[Go Getter]

-I played Varsity and JV my sophomore year and in between games I had to change jerseys and get warm ups on. I had to get my finger re taped so I was late and rushing and tripped on the bottom of my pants when I got on court.

-One year the announcer made a mistake pronouncing my name over the PA on purpose during the intros.

-My ex came over to this girl's house I was at and tried to fight her.

-This white lady came into my job wearing a very very dark spray tan that resembled black face.

-I had a female doctor that just bust out and said, "lemme see your balls" during an exam. That shit kinda turned me on so I had a semi by the time I dropped my undies....then she started commenting on my jewels--it was really awkward, lol.

-The lady that fitted me for my uniforms at military school.slapped me on the ass.

-This gay ass photographer in school told me I had "bedroom eyes" the ****ing pervert. When my roommate told that shit to our Counselor/Advisor he laughed himself into a stupor.

-I got caught having sex twice in college (roommate walking in)

[JerrySteakhouse]

WTF is "arkwardest"? :facepalm

I have plenty of stories to share here, but idk if I want to share any of them. . . :lol

I would have negged you for that, if there was rep.

[Scholar]

what is this sh!t? why bother posting at all?

Why do you care?
:confusedshrug: I just wanted to find out wtf is "arkwardest"? That's why I originally posted. Haha

Okay, fine, I'll share a story.

A few days ago, some idiots in a riced out Acura Integra kept trying to get me to race them for a good 3+ miles. I didn't bite, but when we were stopped at a red light, I saw them staring at me, and the driver continuously revved his engine.
There were some girls in a Civic on my left side and I heard the passenger say, "That's a nice Cobalt!" I thought, "Okay, maybe I should let them know what this Cobalt can do." Mind you, I have an '09 SS. It's turbocharged, and it is definitely quicker than a majority of cars on the road, excluding exotics and/or high end sports cars.
I normally don't street race, but I thought I'd show those idiots in the Integra that I could kill 'em without even trying. The light turned green and I took off. I realized they weren't even trying, though... :confusedshrug:
Looked over and spotted a cop. :banghead: He tailed me for a little while and then pulled me over.
He asked me why I was speeding and I told him the truth about those idiots following me for 3+ miles, annoying the f0ck out of me.
He let me go with a warning. :oldlol:

[L.Kizzle]

Why do you care?
:confusedshrug: I just wanted to find out wtf is "arkwardest"? That's why I originally posted. Haha

Okay, fine, I'll share a story.

A few days ago, some idiots in a riced out Acura Integra kept trying to get me to race them for a good 3+ miles. I didn't bite, but when we were stopped at a red light, I saw them staring at me, and the driver continuously revved his engine.
There were some girls in a Civic on my left side and I heard the passenger say, "That's a nice Cobalt!" I thought, "Okay, maybe I should let them know what this Cobalt can do." Mind you, I have an '09 SS. It's turbocharged, and it is definitely quicker than a majority of cars on the road, excluding exotics and/or high end sports cars.
I normally don't street race, but I thought I'd show those idiots in the Integra that I could kill 'em without even trying. The light turned green and I took off. I realized they weren't even trying, though... :confusedshrug:
Looked over and spotted a cop. :banghead: He tailed me for a little while and then pulled me over.
He asked me why I was speeding and I told him the truth about those idiots following me for 3+ miles, annoying the f0ck out of me.
He let me go with a warning. :oldlol:
http://lawandsocietyweek.pbworks.com/f/Stop%20Snitching.jpg

[PistonsFan#21]

one time i was listening to porn in my room at around like 10 pm. Both my parents were home in the room next to me so i just reduced the volume. Then outta nowhere another window pops up with the volume full blast and all you could hear in the house is that girl screaming and moaning from getting f*cked in the ass. I couldnt even close the window because my computer froze. It took me a good 10 seconds before i even thought about simply unplugging the computer. :facepalm

they didnt tell me anything about it but im 100% sure they heard it. Man it felt so akward to sit at the table the next morning for breakfast :lol

[No Name]

one time i was listening to porn in my room at around like 10 pm. Both my parents were home in the room next to me so i just reduced the volume. Then outta nowhere another window pops up with the volume full blast and all you could hear in the house is that girl screaming and moaning from getting f*cked in the ass. I couldnt even close the window because my computer froze. It took me a good 10 seconds before i even thought about simply unplugging the computer. :facepalm

they didnt tell me anything about it but im 100% sure they heard it. Man it felt so akward to sit at the table the next morning for breakfast :lol

that made me lol irl:lol

[Saintsfan1992]

Why do you care?
:confusedshrug: I just wanted to find out wtf is "arkwardest"? That's why I originally posted. Haha

Okay, fine, I'll share a story.

A few days ago, some idiots in a riced out Acura Integra kept trying to get me to race them for a good 3+ miles. I didn't bite, but when we were stopped at a red light, I saw them staring at me, and the driver continuously revved his engine.
There were some girls in a Civic on my left side and I heard the passenger say, "That's a nice Cobalt!" I thought, "Okay, maybe I should let them know what this Cobalt can do." Mind you, I have an '09 SS. It's turbocharged, and it is definitely quicker than a majority of cars on the road, excluding exotics and/or high end sports cars.
I normally don't street race, but I thought I'd show those idiots in the Integra that I could kill 'em without even trying. The light turned green and I took off. I realized they weren't even trying, though... :confusedshrug:
Looked over and spotted a cop. :banghead: He tailed me for a little while and then pulled me over.
He asked me why I was speeding and I told him the truth about those idiots following me for 3+ miles, annoying the f0ck out of me.
He let me go with a warning. :oldlol:


Your a bad ****ing wanna be cop. :pimp:
and your a ****ing snitch.

[irondarts]

had a girl come over to my dorm freshman year for sex. she ended up staying in my bed 3 consecutive days and skipping class. when i mean staying i mean she literally did not leave my bed, even while i was in class. she got up to use the bathroom & shower, that was it. ended up having to make her leave

also walked into my friends bathroom to take a piss with my pants unzipped. opened the bathroom door to find his mom putting on a towel right in front of me while i had my dick in hand. i left immediately without saying a word to her or my friend.

however i have a friend that wins this thread. he stayed over at a friends house a morning before school. guy used his friends parents shower the next morning as the other bathroom was being used. after continuously *********ing in the shower he looks up to see his friends dad halfway done shaving, and this is a clear glass shower.
:oldlol: :oldlol: :oldlol:

[Draz]

1. Back when I was in HS. I had to take a really big dump. Like it wasn't a dump, it felt like it was going to be diareah. I made my girl stay home to talk to me and make me feel better, I told her I wasn't feeling well and wanted to throw up. So, my bestfriend takes me to the nurse. I told him I had to take a huge shit, we both lol'd but then shit got serious. I was about to honestly shat all over.

I made my girl call my mom, because they wouldn't let me leave the effing high school without a parent or guardian picking me up! I was 17, a SENIOR. How gay was this? Anyways, I couldn't pull it off. I stayed in the stairways for a good 15 mins, stalling time talking to her on the phone still trying to comfort me little did she know I had a huge turd in my stomach about to rip right out of my ass in the matter of seconds. I ended up staying till the end of class, I left school somehow, but cutting like every other kid that leaves in this special entrance.

Worst day ever. I could of swore when I went home, I needed two toilets to shat in.

2. While I was seeing this girl, we took it back to my crib. I did her while she was on her period, no condom on. She left, I went to lay down. I noticed on my bed something red. A whole freaking mess of her period it was so wet on my blanket. That wasn't no cheap blanket neither. I called her ass right back up & told her how pissed I was that she wanted to do it while she was on her period and made my bed a mess. [this all happened while I was with my girl back in #1]

[Scholar]

Your a bad ****ing wanna be cop. :pimp:
and your a ****ing snitch.

It's "you're," you f0cking idiot. :rolleyes:

And no, I'm not a snitch. The guys in the Integra didn't get into trouble, and I didn't get a ticket. Win-win situation, moron.

[Draz]

one time i was listening to porn in my room at around like 10 pm. Both my parents were home in the room next to me so i just reduced the volume. Then outta nowhere another window pops up with the volume full blast and all you could hear in the house is that girl screaming and moaning from getting f*cked in the ass. I couldnt even close the window because my computer froze. It took me a good 10 seconds before i even thought about simply unplugging the computer. :facepalm

they didnt tell me anything about it but im 100% sure they heard it. Man it felt so akward to sit at the table the next morning for breakfast :lol
Omg lmfaooooo!!!!!!!! Hahahahhaa

[BigTicket]

Just had one of my most embarrassing moments.

I'm on a business trip, and I get back to the hotel after a long hard day at work. So I decide to relax a bit, watch some porn on my laptop, and jerk off. I'm going at it for ~15 minutes, and I get up to go to the bathroom, which is when I notice that the door to my hotel room is wide open, and has been the entire time....

I spent the next half hour nervously waiting for hotel management to give me a call and tell me I'd been kicked out, but nothing ever happened. Maybe noone happened to walk by during that time, or if they did, they never said anything.

[StateProperty]

Co worker told me if I was a girl he would date me.

Do I win?

[mlh1981]

Just last week, in drunken banter with a buddy of mine, I take his "your mom" banter (you kinda had to have been there to get the flow of the conversation), and turned it into a "your grandma!" response, completely forgetting that his grandma had recently just passed away. He gives me this look as to say "what in the f uck is wrong with you?"

:facepalm

[Jailblazers7]

Pissed in the middle of a friends basement (obviously highly intoxicated) and went over to apologize to his mother a day later.

[StateProperty]

Just last week, in drunken banter with a buddy of mine, I take his "your mom" banter (you kinda had to have been there to get the flow of the conversation), and turned it into a "your grandma!" response, completely forgetting that his grandma had recently just passed away. He gives me this look as to say "what in the f uck is wrong with you?"

:facepalm
You're a jackass.

[mlh1981]

You're a jackass.

yup

[mlh1981]

I'll lighten it up a bit.

When I was in college, I used to bag groceries. I'd also go out on the lot and gather carts. To break up the monotony, if I only had a few carts with me, I'd get a running start with them, and jump on the back of them (there was a bar right above the wheels I'd propel my feel onto). Just wanted to see how fast I could go.

Well, one time, I crashed/burned. my feet slipped and I fell down and busted my ass. Of course, being in the middle of a parking lot, there were a lot of witnesses.

[tpols]

I'll lighten it up a bit.

When I was in college, I used to bag groceries. I'd also go out on the lot and gather carts. To break up the monotony, if I only had a few carts with me, I'd get a running start with them, and jump on the back of them (there was a bar right above the wheels I'd propel my feel onto). Just wanted to see how fast I could go.

Well, one time, I crashed/burned. my feet slipped and I fell down and busted my ass. Of course, being in the middle of a parking lot, there were a lot of witnesses.
:roll:
A lot of the guys in my area at the shop rite I go to that are on cart duty are mentally handicapped.. I'm not even joking. It makes this sound so much funnier.

[mlh1981]

:roll:
A lot of the guys in my area at the shop rite I go to that are on cart duty are mentally handicapped.. I'm not even joking. It makes this sound so much funnier.

Yeah, I didn't even give a shit that I was bleeding or anything. My first thought was "oh sh!t, who saw that?!?!"

[ace23]

one time i was listening to porn in my room at around like 10 pm. Both my parents were home in the room next to me so i just reduced the volume. Then outta nowhere another window pops up with the volume full blast and all you could hear in the house is that girl screaming and moaning from getting f*cked in the ass. I couldnt even close the window because my computer froze. It took me a good 10 seconds before i even thought about simply unplugging the computer. :facepalm

they didnt tell me anything about it but im 100% sure they heard it. Man it felt so akward to sit at the table the next morning for breakfast :lol
My stomach was hurting after this one. :roll::roll: :roll: :roll: :roll:

[takeittothehoop]

I'll lighten it up a bit.

When I was in college, I used to bag groceries. I'd also go out on the lot and gather carts. To break up the monotony, if I only had a few carts with me, I'd get a running start with them, and jump on the back of them (there was a bar right above the wheels I'd propel my feel onto). Just wanted to see how fast I could go.

Well, one time, I crashed/burned. my feet slipped and I fell down and busted my ass. Of course, being in the middle of a parking lot, there were a lot of witnesses.
:lol That would of been pretty funny to witness.

At least you didn't do this...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=acWfossz1rc

[glidedrxlr22]

-I had a female doctor that just bust out and said, "lemme see your balls" during an exam. That shit kinda turned me on so I had a semi by the time I dropped my undies....then she started commenting on my jewels--it was really awkward, lol.

:lol :oldlol: :roll: Now that's embarrasing. Thanks for sharing.

This happened to me about 6 years ago at work. I go into a bathroom stall for a 1-2 combo…you know some sh!t and p!ss. So I’m sitting there pissing and I’m slightly leaned over and my tie is hanging down. All of a sudden I feel something hitting my tie for about a second or two. Some of the piss was fukcin ricocheting through the damn open front of the toilet seat(can someone explain why some toilet seats aren’t complete ovals?). So I spent the rest of the day worrying that I’d smell like dry piss. I think I was able to clean it enough.

[$LakerGold]

Hmmm... when they touched my peex2 in LAX... :facepalm

STOP TOUCHING MY BIRDIE!!

[Mathius 2.0]

I was drunk and blazed out of my mind at this party and I see this girl I'd been tryin to get with for awhile. I start talkin to her, etc, and we eventually end up at her place goin at it. I tell her I'm about to nut and she tells me to nut on her tits. I pull out and try to aim at her tits but instead I splooged all over her face, in her eye, hair, etc. She was pissed. I aplogize, clumsily get dressed and as I'm leaving I say "so, I guess I'll see ya around Angela". She says "Angela?!? Angela's my roommate! I'm Brittany you fukking asshole!".:facepalm She of course told Angela all about it, thus ruining any chance I had with her.

[D12"Magic"]

I was drunk and blazed out of my mind at this party and I see this girl I'd been tryin to get with for awhile. I start talkin to her, etc, and we eventually end up at her place goin at it. I tell her I'm about to nut and she tells me to nut on her tits. I pull out and try to aim at her tits but instead I splooged all over her face, in her eye, hair, etc. She was pissed. I aplogize, clumsily get dressed and as I'm leaving I say "so, I guess I'll see ya around Angela". She says "Angela?!? Angela's my roommate! I'm Brittany you fukking asshole!".:facepalm She of course told Angela all about it, thus ruining any chance I had with her.
:roll:

[28renyoy]

I was drunk and blazed out of my mind at this party and I see this girl I'd been tryin to get with for awhile. I start talkin to her, etc, and we eventually end up at her place goin at it. I tell her I'm about to nut and she tells me to nut on her tits. I pull out and try to aim at her tits but instead I splooged all over her face, in her eye, hair, etc. She was pissed. I aplogize, clumsily get dressed and as I'm leaving I say "so, I guess I'll see ya around Angela". She says "Angela?!? Angela's my roommate! I'm Brittany you fukking asshole!".:facepalm She of course told Angela all about it, thus ruining any chance I had with her.

i have a hard time believing this.

if you were that drunk, you're not busting a nut

[LBJ 23]

I come home one night very drunk and the door of my home are locked. I don't remember very clearly but because of the unknown reason I open my wallet and grab a coin and start unlocking the door with the coin. Minutes go by and I become mad because I can't open the god damn door. I scratch all over the lock with the coin and it was getting very loud. Then my mom opens the door and she was like :wtf: were you tryin to open the door with a coin instead of a key?

[Mathius 2.0]

i have a hard time believing this.

if you were that drunk, you're not busting a nut

Combo of booze and weed has never given me a problem in that department.

[Jameerthefear]

bumped for great justice!

[rush]

This one is pretty embarrassing because it happened recently... like a year ago. All of the stuff you guys are citing happened when you were teens.

I'm 26... too old for embarrassments like the one I'm about to tell you...

I used to live in a second-floor condo in San Diego. It had a big glass sliding door.

Now, I naturally keep to myself, and I'm not one of those guys who stare out the window and check people out, etc.

My mistake was thinking everybody else was like this... 'cause I would walk around naked in my condo very often. I never thought anybody was watching. Even at night, I'd have all the lights on, and I'd be walking around naked, cooking food, etc.

One day, someone was banging on my door. It turns out, it's the neighbor who lives across from me. He has an identical glass sliding door that's parallel to mine. Long story short, he tells me he's tired of seeing me naked, and he has a daughter and yada yada yada.

I was just frozen in shock the whole time, but I kinda acted like I knew it all along but was one of those people who didn't give a rat's ass. I tried to play it cool, but after he left, I was just shaking my head in embarrassment.

After some reflecting on the matter, I realized I could've just accused him of being a peeping tom and cussed him out, but at the time, I was just blindsided.

True story, it turns out the guy is actually a registered sex offender, so of course he's gonna be peeping into other people's windows. Plus, I noticed he smokes with the sliding glass door open... damn, I should've been more cautious, but whatevz.

The daughter BTW is in her early 20s just like me, and I remember seeing her socializing with one of my friends before, so I said, "Hi, how are you?" and she just had her head down and muttered, "Hi." I thought it was pretty awkward, because she didn't really say much, and her body language suggested she wanted to get the hell away from me. This seemed uncharacteristic of her, because I've seen her interact with other neighbors, and actually, one of my friends know her, and they're very cool with each other. I was just wondering, "Hrm, what's her deal?"

But after her dad banged on my door and let me know what's up, things are making a bit more sense. :facepalm

[irondarts]

This one is pretty embarrassing because it happened recently... like a year ago. All of the stuff you guys are citing happened when you were teens.

I'm 26... too old for embarrassments like the one I'm about to tell you...

I used to live in a second-floor condo in San Diego. It had a big glass sliding door.

Now, I naturally keep to myself, and I'm not one of those guys who stare out the window and check people out, etc.

My mistake was thinking everybody else was like this... 'cause I would walk around naked in my condo very often. I never thought anybody was watching. Even at night, I'd have all the lights on, and I'd be walking around naked, cooking food, etc.

One day, someone was banging on my door. It turns out, it's the neighbor who lives across from me. He has an identical glass sliding door that's parallel to mine. Long story short, he tells me he's tired of seeing me naked, and he has a daughter and yada yada yada.

I was just frozen in shock the whole time, but I kinda acted like I knew it all along but was one of those people who didn't give a rat's ass. I tried to play it cool, but after he left, I was just shaking my head in embarrassment.

After some reflecting on the matter, I realized I could've just accused him of being a peeping tom and cussed him out, but at the time, I was just blindsided.

True story, it turns out the guy is actually a registered sex offender, so of course he's gonna be peeping into other people's windows. Plus, I noticed he smokes with the sliding glass door open... damn, I should've been more cautious, but whatevz.

The daughter BTW is in her early 20s just like me, and I remember seeing her socializing with one of my friends before, so I said, "Hi, how are you?" and she just had her head down and muttered, "Hi." I thought it was pretty awkward, because she didn't really say much, and her body language suggested she wanted to get the hell away from me. This seemed uncharacteristic of her, because I've seen her interact with other neighbors, and actually, one of my friends know her, and they're very cool with each other. I was just wondering, "Hrm, what's her deal?"

But after her dad banged on my door and let me know what's up, things are making a bit more sense. :facepalm
:oldlol: :oldlol:

Damn, that's some ****ed up sh!t.

[Draz]

Epic thread. I'm going to re-read this thread while taking a long shit.

[talkingconch]

Epic thread. I'm going to re-read this thread while taking a long shit.
lmao

[Draz]

K just read the fourth page. So he's a registered sex offender but he's more concerned about his 20 year old daughter somehow seeing you? I outta beat his ass

[1987_Lakers]

This one is pretty embarrassing because it happened recently... like a year ago. All of the stuff you guys are citing happened when you were teens.

I'm 26... too old for embarrassments like the one I'm about to tell you...

I used to live in a second-floor condo in San Diego. It had a big glass sliding door.

Now, I naturally keep to myself, and I'm not one of those guys who stare out the window and check people out, etc.

My mistake was thinking everybody else was like this... 'cause I would walk around naked in my condo very often. I never thought anybody was watching. Even at night, I'd have all the lights on, and I'd be walking around naked, cooking food, etc.

One day, someone was banging on my door. It turns out, it's the neighbor who lives across from me. He has an identical glass sliding door that's parallel to mine. Long story short, he tells me he's tired of seeing me naked, and he has a daughter and yada yada yada.

I was just frozen in shock the whole time, but I kinda acted like I knew it all along but was one of those people who didn't give a rat's ass. I tried to play it cool, but after he left, I was just shaking my head in embarrassment.

After some reflecting on the matter, I realized I could've just accused him of being a peeping tom and cussed him out, but at the time, I was just blindsided.

True story, it turns out the guy is actually a registered sex offender, so of course he's gonna be peeping into other people's windows. Plus, I noticed he smokes with the sliding glass door open... damn, I should've been more cautious, but whatevz.

The daughter BTW is in her early 20s just like me, and I remember seeing her socializing with one of my friends before, so I said, "Hi, how are you?" and she just had her head down and muttered, "Hi." I thought it was pretty awkward, because she didn't really say much, and her body language suggested she wanted to get the hell away from me. This seemed uncharacteristic of her, because I've seen her interact with other neighbors, and actually, one of my friends know her, and they're very cool with each other. I was just wondering, "Hrm, what's her deal?"

But after her dad banged on my door and let me know what's up, things are making a bit more sense. :facepalm
:roll:

[AznTacoLover]

Our camp group was doing a skit, and completely nervous I forgot my lines I stood there like a dumbass for 10 seconds :(

[$LakerGold]

:oldlol: :oldlol:

Damn, that's some ****ed up sh!t.

why would it be ****ed up lol

[hack_a_shaq]

So I'm a 20 year old student. I live at home/play video games all the time. So I'm really lazy and out of shape (endurance wise). I'm a lanky build.

My cousin asked me if I want to ball at the Y. I hadn't in about a year, so I figured why not? Went there and we were playing 4 on 4, winner stays up. Through the first game I scored like 6 points and I was really winded and was thankful that we lost.

While waiting on the next game I really felt like I was getting a second wind. I was about to bust on those guys. Except during this game I start wearing down really bad. It's a close game and my team wins. I was absolutely exhausted.

So the next game I'm dead. I'm chasing around some guy that just arrived at the Y and he's one of those little short/fast guys. He torched me the whole time, I was DEAD. After the game I was even feeling dizzy. My cousin asked me if I wanted to bail so we did.

So we get to the convenience store to get something to drink and we see a friend in there. We're just chatting it up with him when I get this churning in my stomach that can only mean I'm about to throw up all over the place. I didn't want them to know so I said I was going to step out for some air. So I get outside and I'm lining myself up with this garbage can to just let it fly....and then I hear....

"Hey Nick!"

I turned around and it was this girl that I used to really like in highschool. Hadn't seen her in two years. But I couldn't hold it. So I just turned around and puked all over the place. My boys came out laughing at me and she was patting me on the back. Awful situation.

[takeittothehoop]

So I'm a 20 year old student. I live at home/play video games all the time. So I'm really lazy and out of shape (endurance wise). I'm a lanky build.

My cousin asked me if I want to ball at the Y. I hadn't in about a year, so I figured why not? Went there and we were playing 4 on 4, winner stays up. Through the first game I scored like 6 points and I was really winded and was thankful that we lost.

While waiting on the next game I really felt like I was getting a second wind. I was about to bust on those guys. Except during this game I start wearing down really bad. It's a close game and my team wins. I was absolutely exhausted.

So the next game I'm dead. I'm chasing around some guy that just arrived at the Y and he's one of those little short/fast guys. He torched me the whole time, I was DEAD. After the game I was even feeling dizzy. My cousin asked me if I wanted to bail so we did.

So we get to the convenience store to get something to drink and we see a friend in there. We're just chatting it up with him when I get this churning in my stomach that can only mean I'm about to throw up all over the place. I didn't want them to know so I said I was going to step out for some air. So I get outside and I'm lining myself up with this garbage can to just let it fly....and then I hear....

"Hey Nick!"

I turned around and it was this girl that I used to really like in highschool. Hadn't seen her in two years. But I couldn't hold it. So I just turned around and puked all over the place. My boys came out laughing at me and she was patting me on the back. Awful situation.
Could have been worse, you could have puked in the girl's face.

[Rake2204]

Back in high school, we had a substitute teacher in Spanish class one day. Like most sub days, we had a movie scheduled. We also had a project due soon, so we had visual aides that needed to be worked on and completed. As such, likely reading directly from the lesson plan, the substitute teacher said, "As you watch the movie, you may work on your visual."

Then, as if I had suddenly become afflicted with an acute case of tourette's syndrome, I stood up, grabbed my crotch and said, "How 'bout you work on this visual." Then I quietly sat back down.

My retort was so off the wall that there wasn't even a response. Even my boy who sat next to me was just looking like, "Dude. What. The Hell. Was that?" Everyone's eyes were on me for a moment, then darted to the sub to gauge her response. Thankfully, she froze, then just laughed it off - which then signaled that it was okay for everyone else to exhale and laugh a little too.

I know it sounds like I was just trying to be hilarious, like normal high school hijinks, but that was totally out of character and I have no idea how it happened. It was embarrassing. I am quite thankful the sub was cool enough not to, like, interpret it as sexual harassment. My friends still bust out the "How 'bout you work on this visual" line every now and again to this day.

[niko]

I was hitting on this really hot girl, korean chick and totally winning her over at my friends little gathering at a bar, and she gave me something to try to each, like a cookie and i ate it and it had sesame, which i am 100% deathly allergic too, so not only did i vomit everywhere, i had to take my shot and sit outside until my breathing returned to normal. In my vomity shirt.

Another time this girl cooked me dinner, and despite me telling her prior, also served me sesame. I had to go to the emergency room. Her MOM took me.

:facepalm

[$LakerGold]

So I'm a 20 year old student. I live at home/play video games all the time. So I'm really lazy and out of shape (endurance wise). I'm a lanky build.

My cousin asked me if I want to ball at the Y. I hadn't in about a year, so I figured why not? Went there and we were playing 4 on 4, winner stays up. Through the first game I scored like 6 points and I was really winded and was thankful that we lost.

While waiting on the next game I really felt like I was getting a second wind. I was about to bust on those guys. Except during this game I start wearing down really bad. It's a close game and my team wins. I was absolutely exhausted.

So the next game I'm dead. I'm chasing around some guy that just arrived at the Y and he's one of those little short/fast guys. He torched me the whole time, I was DEAD. After the game I was even feeling dizzy. My cousin asked me if I wanted to bail so we did.

So we get to the convenience store to get something to drink and we see a friend in there. We're just chatting it up with him when I get this churning in my stomach that can only mean I'm about to throw up all over the place. I didn't want them to know so I said I was going to step out for some air. So I get outside and I'm lining myself up with this garbage can to just let it fly....and then I hear....

"Hey Nick!"

I turned around and it was this girl that I used to really like in highschool. Hadn't seen her in two years. But I couldn't hold it. So I just turned around and puked all over the place. My boys came out laughing at me and she was patting me on the back. Awful situation.

She was patting you in the back? you goon, you couldve nailed her.

[D12"Magic"]

I was hitting on this really hot girl, korean chick and totally winning her over at my friends little gathering at a bar, and she gave me something to try to each, like a cookie and i ate it and it had sesame, which i am 100% deathly allergic too, so not only did i vomit everywhere, i had to take my shot and sit outside until my breathing returned to normal. In my vomity shirt.

Another time this girl cooked me dinner, and despite me telling her prior, also served me sesame. I had to go to the emergency room. Her MOM took me.

:facepalm
:lol: You still talked to them after all this? Anyway, props for making a cool thread D12"Magic" :cheers:

[niko]

:lol: You still talked to them after all this? Anyway, props for making a cool thread D12"Magic" :cheers:
First girl just walked by me when she left like "omg what a dick". That did not work out. Second girl i dated for a while, she was mad cool. That actually wound up in my favor as she felt awful.

[Myth]

This girl and I started going out in early high school (well not out, but boyfriend/girlfriend). On the first day of being together, I walked her to the bus at the end of the school day and there were a lot of people waiting for the bus. I hugged her and went to kiss her on the cheek (this was going to be the first time the two of us kissed each other). She saw the kiss coming and turned so that the kiss would be on her lips. Unfortunately, I'm a little taller than her, so when she turned, I gave her a big wet one right on the nose. This big fat guy who witnessed it yelled "Ew, are you trying to eat her boogers?" Very embarrassing for us both. That relationship was awkward for about a week after that until I dumped her.

[Rake2204]

This girl and I started going out in early high school (well not out, but boyfriend/girlfriend). On the first day of being together, I walked her to the bus at the end of the school day and there were a lot of people waiting for the bus. I hugged her and went to kiss her on the cheek (this was going to be the first time the two of us kissed each other). She saw the kiss coming and turned so that the kiss would be on her lips. Unfortunately, I'm a little taller than her, so when she turned, I gave her a big wet one right on the nose. This big fat guy who witnessed it yelled "Ew, are you trying to eat her boogers?" Very embarrassing for us both. That relationship was awkward for about a week after that until I dumped her.

Haha, that line really cracked me up for some reason. It's so horrible it's great.

A perfect awkward moment for a teen movie.

[NBA4EVER]

It was Thanksgiving and my family goes up to my aunts mountain house. First off, I don't really think my aunt likes me that much at all. Not really sure why. But I thought I would try to act like im having a good time and play hide and go seek with my aunts kids. Thought maybe it would make her respect me a little more. When it's my turn to hide I try to fit up in this little attic space and end up putting a huge hole in the ceiling with my foot. It was really awkward cleaning all of it up while my aunt just stands there and watches.

I haven't been back to that house since :lol

[Jameerthefear]

Keep the moments coming, these are hilarious :lol

[thatoneblackguy]

I was chilling with my girl (ex gf now) on my bed and I was laying on my back and we were getting intimate. She starts to go down on me and rubs my balls and giving me a blowjob and all that good stuff and then I get that awesome feeling, so I tell her, "Im about to jizz" (this is before she started to swallow) so when I told her that she points my **** towards my stomach so I dont get the bed dirty. Apparently she doesn't know how to point my **** because when I came the *** flew and splat right on my chin/cheek. She started breaking out in laughter and I didnt say a ****ing word. Probably the most red I have ever been. I was in complete shock that my own *** just hit me on my face.

[NBA4EVER]

I was chilling with my girl (ex gf now) on my bed and I was laying on my back and we were getting intimate. She starts to go down on me and rubs my balls and giving me a blowjob and all that good stuff and then I get that awesome feeling, so I tell her, "Im about to jizz" (this is before she started to swallow) so when I told her that she points my **** towards my stomach so I dont get the bed dirty. Apparently she doesn't know how to point my **** because when I came the *** flew and splat right on my chin/cheek. She started breaking out in laughter and I didnt say a ****ing word. Probably the most red I have ever been. I was in complete shock that my own *** just hit me on my face.

kinda wish I didn't read that lol

[irondarts]

:oldlol: :oldlol:

[glidedrxlr22]

I was chilling with my girl (ex gf now) on my bed and I was laying on my back and we were getting intimate. She starts to go down on me and rubs my balls and giving me a blowjob and all that good stuff and then I get that awesome feeling, so I tell her, "Im about to jizz" (this is before she started to swallow) so when I told her that she points my **** towards my stomach so I dont get the bed dirty. Apparently she doesn't know how to point my **** because when I came the *** flew and splat right on my chin/cheek. She started breaking out in laughter and I didnt say a ****ing word. Probably the most red I have ever been. I was in complete shock that my own *** just hit me on my face.

Credit for man-ing up and telling the story. That would've embarrased the hell outta me.

[Lakerlove420]

Back in high school, we had a substitute teacher in Spanish class one day. Like most sub days, we had a movie scheduled. We also had a project due soon, so we had visual aides that needed to be worked on and completed. As such, likely reading directly from the lesson plan, the substitute teacher said, "As you watch the movie, you may work on your visual."

Then, as if I had suddenly become afflicted with an acute case of tourette's syndrome, I stood up, grabbed my crotch and said, "How 'bout you work on this visual." Then I quietly sat back down.

My retort was so off the wall that there wasn't even a response. Even my boy who sat next to me was just looking like, "Dude. What. The Hell. Was that?" Everyone's eyes were on me for a moment, then darted to the sub to gauge her response. Thankfully, she froze, then just laughed it off - which then signaled that it was okay for everyone else to exhale and laugh a little too.

I know it sounds like I was just trying to be hilarious, like normal high school hijinks, but that was totally out of character and I have no idea how it happened. It was embarrassing. I am quite thankful the sub was cool enough not to, like, interpret it as sexual harassment. My friends still bust out the "How 'bout you work on this visual" line every now and again to this day.

I thought this one of the best stories in here so far
I laughed out loud.. repped!

[Lakerlove420]

I was chilling with my girl (ex gf now) on my bed and I was laying on my back and we were getting intimate. She starts to go down on me and rubs my balls and giving me a blowjob and all that good stuff and then I get that awesome feeling, so I tell her, "Im about to jizz" (this is before she started to swallow) so when I told her that she points my **** towards my stomach so I dont get the bed dirty. Apparently she doesn't know how to point my **** because when I came the *** flew and splat right on my chin/cheek. She started breaking out in laughter and I didnt say a ****ing word. Probably the most red I have ever been. I was in complete shock that my own *** just hit me on my face.

this has got to be a joke..:roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :applause:
you would never say something like that if it really :roll:

[thatoneblackguy]

this has got to be a joke..:roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :applause:
you would never say something like that if it really :roll:
Unfortunately, it's true. The only reason I told it was because I know nobody here knows who I am in real life.

[$LakerGold]

I was chilling with my girl (ex gf now) on my bed and I was laying on my back and we were getting intimate. She starts to go down on me and rubs my balls and giving me a blowjob and all that good stuff and then I get that awesome feeling, so I tell her, "Im about to jizz" (this is before she started to swallow) so when I told her that she points my **** towards my stomach so I dont get the bed dirty. Apparently she doesn't know how to point my **** because when I came the *** flew and splat right on my chin/cheek. She started breaking out in laughter and I didnt say a ****ing word. Probably the most red I have ever been. I was in complete shock that my own *** just hit me on my face.

lol

[Lakerlove420]

Unfortunately, it's true. The only reason I told it was because I know nobody here knows who I am in real life.

I hear you bro... and I believe you..
man that is a sticky situation though bro..
I probably would have smacked her,
I don't think I would take that very well.

[glidedrxlr22]

I hear you bro... and I believe you..
man that is a sticky situation though bro..
I probably would have smacked her,
I don't think I would take that very well.

...but how do you feel during a situation like that....embarrased, mad, ashamed, low...your manhood in the gutter. The laughter I'm sure doesn't help.

[Myth]

I was chilling with my girl (ex gf now) on my bed and I was laying on my back and we were getting intimate. She starts to go down on me and rubs my balls and giving me a blowjob and all that good stuff and then I get that awesome feeling, so I tell her, "Im about to jizz" (this is before she started to swallow) so when I told her that she points my **** towards my stomach so I dont get the bed dirty. Apparently she doesn't know how to point my **** because when I came the *** flew and splat right on my chin/cheek. She started breaking out in laughter and I didnt say a ****ing word. Probably the most red I have ever been. I was in complete shock that my own *** just hit me on my face.

Same exact thing happened to me. My *** landed between my eye and nose, making a *** tear.

[Lakerlove420]

...but how do you feel during a situation like that....embarrased, mad, ashamed, low...your manhood in the gutter. The laughter I'm sure doesn't help.

what do you mean..
MAD instantly jumping up like "What the f*ck B*tch"
grabbing her head dragging her by her hair to the toilet and
shoving her face underwater while yelling
"where's the money Lebowski? where's the money!"

[Flagrant 2]

:oldlol:

[sick_brah07]

I was chilling with my girl (ex gf now) on my bed and I was laying on my back and we were getting intimate. She starts to go down on me and rubs my balls and giving me a blowjob and all that good stuff and then I get that awesome feeling, so I tell her, "Im about to jizz" (this is before she started to swallow) so when I told her that she points my **** towards my stomach so I dont get the bed dirty. Apparently she doesn't know how to point my **** because when I came the *** flew and splat right on my chin/cheek. She started breaking out in laughter and I didnt say a ****ing word. Probably the most red I have ever been. I was in complete shock that my own *** just hit me on my face.


simular thing happened to me except my *** hit my shoulder and i was frozen stiff scared to look at it incase id get it on my chin or something, she was laughing and i was just straight shocked

[ace23]

My preschool teacher asked me to spank her once. (I was 4) That's something I'll never forget. :oldlol:

[D12"Magic"]

My preschool teacher asked me to spank her once. (I was 4) That's something I'll never forget. :oldlol:
WTF is She a molester?

[ace23]

WTF is She a molester?
Probably was. :lol

Glad I didn't have the guts to do administer in front of the class. Who knows what this woman would have done next? :facepalm

[D12"Magic"]

Probably was. :lol

Glad I didn't have the guts to do administer in front of the class. Who knows what this woman would have done next? :facepalm
:lol but seriously a 4 year old :facepalm

[Saintsfan1992]

It's "you're," you f0cking idiot. :rolleyes:

And no, I'm not a snitch. The guys in the Integra didn't get into trouble, and I didn't get a ticket. Win-win situation, moron.

Bitch yourstill a snitch. and Shut the **** up you ***** cop.
what school are you gonna patrol, you rental cop? :facepalm

[Saintsfan1992]

Back in high school, we had a substitute teacher in Spanish class one day. Like most sub days, we had a movie scheduled. We also had a project due soon, so we had visual aides that needed to be worked on and completed. As such, likely reading directly from the lesson plan, the substitute teacher said, "As you watch the movie, you may work on your visual."

Then, as if I had suddenly become afflicted with an acute case of tourette's syndrome, I stood up, grabbed my crotch and said, "How 'bout you work on this visual." Then I quietly sat back down.

My retort was so off the wall that there wasn't even a response. Even my boy who sat next to me was just looking like, "Dude. What. The Hell. Was that?" Everyone's eyes were on me for a moment, then darted to the sub to gauge her response. Thankfully, she froze, then just laughed it off - which then signaled that it was okay for everyone else to exhale and laugh a little too.

I know it sounds like I was just trying to be hilarious, like normal high school hijinks, but that was totally out of character and I have no idea how it happened. It was embarrassing. I am quite thankful the sub was cool enough not to, like, interpret it as sexual harassment. My friends still bust out the "How 'bout you work on this visual" line every now and again to this day.

hilarious I died laughing :cheers:

[Saintsfan1992]

I was chilling with my girl (ex gf now) on my bed and I was laying on my back and we were getting intimate. She starts to go down on me and rubs my balls and giving me a blowjob and all that good stuff and then I get that awesome feeling, so I tell her, "Im about to jizz" (this is before she started to swallow) so when I told her that she points my **** towards my stomach so I dont get the bed dirty. Apparently she doesn't know how to point my **** because when I came the *** flew and splat right on my chin/cheek. She started breaking out in laughter and I didnt say a ****ing word. Probably the most red I have ever been. I was in complete shock that my own *** just hit me on my face.

So you killed the bitch right??? :pimp:

[Rake2204]

I hear you bro... and I believe you..
man that is a sticky situation though bro..
I probably would have smacked her,
I don't think I would take that very well.
Well played.

[Wade3]

Anyone else ever gotten a boner while on a bus just before your stop arrives. What made it worse was i sitting on the back of the bus and it was on the way back from college, so it was filled with people who i knew. I walked to the front of the bus and even tried to cover it with my folder like a lame.

[Jameerthefear]

Bump.

[Flagrant 2]

Bump.
**** you

[Jameerthefear]

**** you
:D
I liked this thread.

[talkingconch]

well it was my first year in highschool, a month or two in, first class of the day, early morning...and basically i felt a little nervous/anxious, and when that happens I have to take a shit or I get the urge to. typically i can hold it in (i dont shit in public places)

however, this time.. i just. couldn't. hold it. it hit me all of a sudden. and it came out pretty much during the end of class, i just stayed sitting down. I wasn't aware of the smell or if there was any smell at all because i was so completely shocked. When the bell rung and everyone was leaving (the next class was comin in), i somehow got to my teacher and told her i have an emergency and basically went in my pants (i forgot how i worded it), I said this as low key as possible so no one could hear. she quickly treated as if it was serious, she writes me up to the office, and i give her my dads cell #, i take the slip but i go straight to the restroom to get rid of this crap all the while worrying if there is a shit stain on the back of my pants. I was so embarrassed when I went to the restroom because i thought everyone was looking at me as if I had a shit stain.

after i relieved myself I went to the office and saw my dad there, he looked confused/worried as shit because he doesnt know wats going on (my teacher probably didnt tell the front office lady about what really happened), so basically I get home and tell my dad I TOOK A SHIT IN CLASS and yea thats about it. I stayed home the next day because I was too ****ing embarrassed and thought everyone in my class probably found out, but when I got back my teacher just let me know 'next time you should let me know' with a little smile on her face, I of course just told her I was sick and had stomach problems or something (even though I wasn't).

so yeah..oh and I met up with some friends who were in the next class right after mine, and he told me 'dude, we went in so and so class the other day and it literally smelled like shit, like someone took a crap in that class dude'. I was like holy shit, they still don't know to this day it was me LOL

[Jameerthefear]

well it was my first year in highschool, a month or two in, first class of the day, early morning...and basically i felt a little nervous/anxious, and when that happens I have to take a shit or I get the urge to. typically i can hold it in (i dont shit in public places)

however, this time.. i just. couldn't. hold it. it hit me all of a sudden. and it came out pretty much during the end of class, i just stayed sitting down. I wasn't aware of the smell or if there was any smell at all because i was so completely shocked. When the bell rung and everyone was leaving (the next class was comin in), i somehow got to my teacher and told her i have an emergency and basically went in my pants (i forgot how i worded it), I said this as low key as possible so no one could hear. she quickly treated as if it was serious, she writes me up to the office, and i give her my dads cell #, i take the slip but i go straight to the restroom to get rid of this crap all the while worrying if there is a shit stain on the back of my pants. I was so embarrassed when I went to the restroom because i thought everyone was looking at me as if I had a shit stain.

after i relieved myself I went to the office and saw my dad there, he looked confused/worried as shit because he doesnt know wats going on (my teacher probably didnt tell the front office lady about what really happened), so basically I get home and tell my dad I TOOK A SHIT IN CLASS and yea thats about it. I stayed home the next day because I was too ****ing embarrassed and thought everyone in my class probably found out, but when I got back my teacher just let me know 'next time you should let me know' with a little smile on her face, I of course just told her I was sick and had stomach problems or something (even though I wasn't).

so yeah..oh and I met up with some friends who were in the next class right after mine, and he told me 'dude, we went in so and so class the other day and it literally smelled like shit, like someone took a crap in that class dude'. I was like holy shit, they still don't know to this day it was me LOL
:lol

[clipps]

- Walking in the wrong bathroom... Didn't get caught. I had to take an enormous sh*t at a resturant. Didn't pay attention to the men or women signs on the doors and walked in the women's bathroom and proceeded directly to the handicapped stahl at the end. Heard some weird noises that you don't normally hear in a mens' bathroom. I noticed a tampon despenser in the handicapped stahl, put 2 and 2 together and realized I was in the women's room. I felt trapped. Eventually, I pickedthe right time to leave without someone seeing me.

[Rake2204]

Bump.
Spectacular bump.

[Thorn]

A while back my friend Dave asked me to go to the store to buy him some condoms. Naturally I asked why. He just said "here you can keep whatever change is left" and handed me a $20. So I figure, "okay, it's no big deal". On the way to the store I got distracted by some construction work (I have terrible ADD) and fell and bumped my knee. It was bleeding a little. But I figure, I'm already near the store so I'll just deal with it later. So I've got the pack of condoms and I decide to get some ice for my knee. When I got to the checkout counter, the huge black guy there sees the condoms and ice and is like "Son, what on earth are you going to do to that poor girl!?" I'm just frozen, not knowing what to say and it seemed like the longest 10 seconds of my life. I walked out as quickly as I could :oldlol:

[chazzy]

Freshman year of college, I was high and in the cafeteria paying for my food. I had a large styrofoam cup of lemonade on my tray and knocked it over as I was sliding my tray over to the cashier.. spilled all over the counter and ground. Big line behind me and everyone started laughing. I got another large cup of lemonade and my friend asked me how I dropped the first one. I was showing him how I pushed the tray with the cup on it.. and dropped the cup again. Settled for a bottle of water after that.

[Rake2204]

A while back my friend Dave asked me to go to the store to buy him some condoms. Naturally I asked why. He just said "here you can keep whatever change is left" and handed me a $20. So I figure, "okay, it's no big deal". On the way to the store I got distracted by some construction work (I have terrible ADD) and fell and bumped my knee. It was bleeding a little. But I figure, I'm already near the store so I'll just deal with it later. So I've got the pack of condoms and I decide to get some ice for my knee. When I got to the checkout counter, the huge black guy there sees the condoms and ice and is like "Son, what on earth are you going to do to that poor girl!?" I'm just frozen, not knowing what to say and it seemed like the longest 10 seconds of my life. I walked out as quickly as I could :oldlol:
Haha, awesome.

[miller-time]

I noticed a tampon despenser in the handicapped stahl, put 2 and 2 together and realized I was in the women's room. I felt trapped. Eventually, I pickedthe right time to leave without someone seeing me.

i found out i was in the womens bathroom the same way. nothing happened but i didn't notice there weren't urinals, i just went into the stall, took a piss and turned around and saw a sign on the back of the door on how to properly dispose tampons, then i looked down next to the side of the toilet and there was the bin.

this isn't the most embarrassing thing but since we are on a toilet theme here.. a few months ago i was out in a club and i really really needed to take a shit. this isn't something i'm ever comfortable doing in a public place, but it just crept up on me from nowhere so i went to the toilet (luckily it was still kind of early so it was still clean). it was the only toilet in that male bathroom and it was fully enclosed (a full door down to the floor like a room, not a stall). so i was in there for awhile and a group of chicks walked in because the female toilets were packed out. so i'm trapped in this room with them banging the hell out of the door while taking what seemed to be the biggest dump of my life. obviously the point would come where i would have to leave and they would smell it. i even waited for a bit longer hoping they would leave but waiting made it seem even worse. so i finally just got it together and walked out. i knew they were going to have a reaction so i just said "yeah... you probably shouldn't go in there for awhile." one chick ended up braving it and went in.

like i said it wasn't that embarrassing just really really awkward.

[joe]

This one time around age 18, I was laying on the couch in my room, completely butt naked jerking off. I had the computer on my stomach, watching porn. My door was locked, but if you jiggle the doorknob in the right way it opens. But everyone knows to knock on my door instead of just barging in, so I'm not concerned.

Suddenly I hear footsteps coming down the hallway, and I know it's my Mom. I scramble to put the computer down and throw my shorts back on, but she just opens my door without even knocking. There I am, laying butt naked on my couch frantically trying to hide it. LOL. I couldn't look my mom in the eye for like a week after that.

The weirdest thing about that, was how in the months following, she would always ask "is it okay to come in?" as she knocked on my door. And I always knew the reason why she asked.

[Solidape]

ever wave back at someone you thought was waving at you? thats such a shitty feeling :oldlol:

I learnt not to wave no matter what even if I may think they know me, I make sure I get close enough to see if there is still eye contact and then apologize by saying I thought they were waving to someone else.

It is a shitty feeling.

[Crown&Coke]

I almost ate it while walking to get my diploma from my principal, the stage had a small hitch and I caught it, luckily nobody really noticed or I played it off rather well since nobody ever said anything.

But the worst, I was in the 8th grade, PE class. Some dudes had me lifted up so I could hang on the bball rim, a friend of mine pulled down my pants, and I had white butt huggers on, some girl I had a crush on couldn't stop laughing :facepalm

it was pretty funny looking back at it, but damn I felt terrible at the time

[mlh1981]

As a teacher, there were times where I would come across a new student and accidentally think that they were a boy/girl when it was the vice versa that was true.

[Rake2204]

As a teacher, there were times where I would come across a new student and accidentally think that they were a boy/girl when it was the vice versa that was true.
I was subbing in a 5th grade class two years ago and I was working through a math lesson. I threw a problem on the board and in one of those high energy teacher moments where I try to keep my students engaged, I looked around the room and quickly said, "Alright who's got it?!" A student with short brown hair, baggy jeans, and a hoody raised their hand and correctly answered the question. Without skipping a beat I pointed and said, "YESSSIRRR!!!!"

There was a pause then, with two teacher's aides looking on, my volunteer said, "Um, I'm a girl." The class broke out laughing. She seemed to take it pretty well. On one hand, I wanted to go on a diatribe on how androgynous kids were looking these days. Instead, I backpedaled in a hurry and began explaining my mistake, claiming I say, "YESSSIRRR" to everyone because my favorite NBA player was Richard Hamilton (it's not) and that was his famous line.


I almost ate it while walking to get my diploma from my principal, the stage had a small hitch and I caught it, luckily nobody really noticed or I played it off rather well since nobody ever said anything.

At my high school graduation, the two graduates ahead of me were neighbors of the mom handing out diplomas. As such, they hugged the mother upon receiving their diplomas. I didn't put two and two together so I thought everyone was hugging the diploma lady. When she handed me my diploma I started to make it happen, but then partway through I realized she wasn't really responding so I sort of half-stopped but half-completed the motion while she was trying to figure out why the hell I was trying to make a move on her.

[mlh1981]

I was subbing in a 5th grade class two years ago and I was working through a math lesson. I threw a problem on the board and in one of those high energy teacher moments where I try to keep my students engaged, I looked around the room and quickly said, "Alright who's got it?!" A student with short brown hair, baggy jeans, and a hoody raised their hand and correctly answered the question. Without skipping a beat I pointed and said, "YESSSIRRR!!!!"

There was a pause then, with two teacher's aides looking on, my volunteer said, "Um, I'm a girl." The class broke out laughing. She seemed to take it pretty well. On one hand, I wanted to go on a diatribe on how androgynous kids were looking these days. Instead, I backpedaled in a hurry and began explaining my mistake, claiming I say, "YESSSIRRR" to everyone because my favorite NBA player was Richard Hamilton (it's not) and that was his famous line.

Hah, nice. I can definately see myself doing that, but not having the wit that you did. That's a great response. There were many moments where I thought of the perfect response, but 5 minutes too late :facepalm

I'm teaching PE now. I was outside with a group of kids the other day, and there was a new student. We divided them up into boys/girls for a game I was doing. I told this individual who I thought was in the wrong line that the girl's line was "over there"

"Coach, I'm a boy."

He later told me that it happens all the time, and he handled it all pretty well. He had long hair and had gender neutral clothing, so it was hard to tell upon first glance.

[Deuce Bigalow]

had a girl come over to my dorm freshman year for sex. she ended up staying in my bed 3 consecutive days and skipping class. when i mean staying i mean she literally did not leave my bed, even while i was in class. she got up to use the bathroom & shower, that was it. ended up having to make her leave

also walked into my friends bathroom to take a piss with my pants unzipped. opened the bathroom door to find his mom putting on a towel right in front of me while i had my dick in hand. i left immediately without saying a word to her or my friend.

however i have a friend that wins this thread. he stayed over at a friends house a morning before school. guy used his friends parents shower the next morning as the other bathroom was being used. after continuously *********ing in the shower he looks up to see his friends dad halfway done shaving, and this is a clear glass shower.
Damn :roll:

[liverandonions]

10-1 M-f

[Geriatric]

It was my first day at my new school in the 2nd grade. We were going to the restroom as a class and the bathroom had one of those long urinals that ran the length of the wall. (The school I was at previously only had private stalls.) So I walk up to the urinal, drop trow, and then start hearing hysterical laughter behind me. I turn to look around and realize my problem. Everyone else is pissing like normal with their pants pulled up and their zippers undone, while I've dropped my pants and underwear to my ankles and just standing there exposed to the world. Thanks Dad for never teaching me how to piss correctly!!!

[RaininTwos]

laughing so hard once again

[Rake2204]

This girl and I started going out in early high school (well not out, but boyfriend/girlfriend). On the first day of being together, I walked her to the bus at the end of the school day and there were a lot of people waiting for the bus. I hugged her and went to kiss her on the cheek (this was going to be the first time the two of us kissed each other). She saw the kiss coming and turned so that the kiss would be on her lips. Unfortunately, I'm a little taller than her, so when she turned, I gave her a big wet one right on the nose. This big fat guy who witnessed it yelled "Ew, are you trying to eat her boogers?" Very embarrassing for us both. That relationship was awkward for about a week after that until I dumped her.Reading back through this thread, that line still made me laugh uncontrollably for some reason. It's just such a fat-kid-witnessing-an-attempted-kiss thing to do.

[J.101]

Few months ago went out and totally forgot I was rostered on to work, So I rock up pretty faded. Luckily its a saturday morning and not many peeps around so I go to the toilet not paying attention etc.

5mins later my supersvisor comes and yells what the hell are you doing? as I came out of the stall. Then it suddenly registered im in the women's toilet, I was just in shock and just mumbled sorry before running out me not thinking straight I just left and didn't come in for the next 2 days.

[Horde of Temujin]

Back In high school, i was sitting in class and i was wearing buttonless boxers and for some reason the fly of my pants was down. As i stood up in a case of freakish misfortune, the lil guy down there decided to say hello. I remember thinking "hmm... something is not right" and before i knew it a girl sitting next to me screamed bloody murder. There i was rocking out with my **** out right near the face of this poor girl. It took a lot of convincing to keep from being expelled.

Terrible, just plain terrible.

[Dwade305]

A while back my friend Dave asked me to go to the store to buy him some condoms. Naturally I asked why. He just said "here you can keep whatever change is left" and handed me a $20. So I figure, "okay, it's no big deal". On the way to the store I got distracted by some construction work (I have terrible ADD) and fell and bumped my knee. It was bleeding a little. But I figure, I'm already near the store so I'll just deal with it later. So I've got the pack of condoms and I decide to get some ice for my knee. When I got to the checkout counter, the huge black guy there sees the condoms and ice and is like "Son, what on earth are you going to do to that poor girl!?" I'm just frozen, not knowing what to say and it seemed like the longest 10 seconds of my life. I walked out as quickly as I could :oldlol:
:roll:

[niko]

I grabbed my wife's hand and pulled her over in the supermarket to show her something. (Not like 5 feet, like all the way down the long aisle). But it wasn't her. And she was watching and laughing. :facepalm

[Reef]

Just got back from school and I noticed a fu.ckin seagull had shat all over the back of my jacket. I was on a train for like 30 mins with bird shit all over my back and I had no idea. People must've been laughin their asses off when my back was turned.

[RaininTwos]

Just got back from school and I noticed a fu.ckin seagull had shat all over the back of my jacket. I was on a train for like 30 mins with bird shit all over my back and I had no idea. People must've been laughin their asses off when my back was turned.
That was you?:roll: :roll: :roll: :roll:

[Soul Of Seun]

In MA, my step brother was racing his bike in a semi pro event. I was sitting in his car, when a female biker, was getting dressed, BOOBS OUT staring right at me in the car next to me, with a grin on her face. I immediately averted my eyes.

Even more awkward, she had the tiniest boobs ever.

[ace23]

That was you?:roll: :roll: :roll: :roll:
Srs?

[DropStep]

Tried to kiss a girl, she turned away after date. Friendzoned the shit out of me. From that day on I learned my lesson. Let a girl know your intentions immediately.

[Jameerthefear]

Oh man this is my favorite thread ever :roll: I'll share my own:
I was at practice and we had stopped to get water. This was all boy's and when some guy was bent over I thought he was a chick and verbally said "nice ass" or something like that out loud to myself. Apparently I said it pretty loud since one of my friends heard it. He was like "who are you talking about?" and I was just like "ha i'm just playing" cuz there were only other dudes out there :lol

[DonDadda59]

When I was in HS there was this ramp with a railing leading into the cafeteria. Whenever girls were around I'd show off like a billy badass by jumping over it parkour style, trying to look cool. So one night I notice that this girl I was scheming on was with a group of her friends as I'm heading towards the cafeteria. I gave her a suave nod, she smiled, I did my little jump, landed it like a pimp, went inside to get a sammich and a drink. When I came back out, noticed they were still hanging out by the ramp, so I decided to do an encore.

My hand slipped on the railing in the middle of the jump and I'm in mid air desperately trying to right myself. Didn't work. I ate the ground HARD. Sounded like someone hitting a moose with a baseball bat. The girl and her friends watched all shocked and murmuring. I tried to get up as smoothly as I could, probably looked like a newborn baby deer. I scurried off into the night hiding my face like the damn Elephant man or the phantom of the opera.

[Jameerthefear]

When I was in HS there was this ramp with a railing leading into the cafeteria. Whenever girls were around I'd show off like a billy badass by jumping over it parkour style, trying to look cool. So one night I notice that this girl I was scheming on was with a group of her friends as I'm heading towards the cafeteria. I gave her a suave nod, she smiled, I did my little jump, landed it like a pimp, went inside to get a sammich and a drink. When I came back out, noticed they were still hanging out by the ramp, so I decided to do an encore.

My hand slipped on the railing in the middle of the jump and I'm in mid air desperately trying to right myself. Didn't work. I ate the ground HARD. Sounded like someone hitting a moose with a baseball bat. The girl and her friends watched all shocked and murmuring. I tried to get up as smoothly as I could, probably looked like a newborn baby deer. I scurried off into the night hiding my face like the damn Elephant man or the phantom of the opera.
:roll: :roll: :roll:

[Groovy Kat]

I was playing ball with some of my friends and I tried to look cool by kicking the basketball to one of them to check it. Well instead of kicking the ball my foot landed on top of it and the ball rolled out from under me and I busted my ass. Was embarrassing since I was trying to look cool and I ended up looking like a jackass.

Luckily I kept enough of my balance to not hurt myself but I felt really stupid.

[East_Stone_Ya]

It was in the 4th grade. I had recently fell ill but still decided to attend school.
Around lunch break at one moment I sneezed so hard that my hands were full of snot. There were girls nearby who saw all that. So I turned to them and said '' Hey it's hand lotion!!!'' and rubbed the snot to my palm. Never understood why I did so :oldlol:

[sick_brah07]

When I was in HS there was this ramp with a railing leading into the cafeteria. Whenever girls were around I'd show off like a billy badass by jumping over it parkour style, trying to look cool. So one night I notice that this girl I was scheming on was with a group of her friends as I'm heading towards the cafeteria. I gave her a suave nod, she smiled, I did my little jump, landed it like a pimp, went inside to get a sammich and a drink. When I came back out, noticed they were still hanging out by the ramp, so I decided to do an encore.

My hand slipped on the railing in the middle of the jump and I'm in mid air desperately trying to right myself. Didn't work. I ate the ground HARD. Sounded like someone hitting a moose with a baseball bat. The girl and her friends watched all shocked and murmuring. I tried to get up as smoothly as I could, probably looked like a newborn baby deer. I scurried off into the night hiding my face like the damn Elephant man or the phantom of the opera.


:applause: :oldlol:

[christian1923]

My mom caught me jerkin it in the AM before school when I was in 7th grade. I asked her not to tell anyone. We go to a family party that night and I hear her telling everyone lol

I picked my nose and ate the booger and my aunt caught me an called me out infront of like 10 family members and I ran in the garage an started crying lmao

At a high school party I blacked out after chugging 2 1/2 consecutive 4lokos, and I woke up to hear and see pictures of me taking a dump in front of everyone with the door open, I guess I was also puking while taking a shit :facepalm then I had to deal with a girlfriend at school the next day.... :roll:

[B-Low]

I think I've said it before but when I was in college I had a friend named Bridget who I would always flirt/play fight with (pushing each other, smacking each other, tripping each other etc). One my first day of Astronomy class I was scoping out the lecture hall to see where I wanted to sit and I saw Bridget sitting towards the front so I went to go sit with her. I walked up and said "hey bitch" and smacked her in the back of the head.

It wasn't her at all...the girl screams "dude what the hell!?" and I spent the next hour apologizing to her and took her out to lunch after class

[highwhey]

I got drunk this weekend wt a party but since I had to drive I tried downing a couple bottles of water to get to a drivable level, unfortunately as I was heading towards this hot chick I vomited unintentionally, it was one of those small vomits from like being too full but it still stained my shirt and I managed to cup some of it with my hand.keep in mind I was in the middle of everyone and the girl was looking at me. I just did a 180 and never returned.

[Swaggin916]

Got picked to throw a pie at a teacher in 6th grade... all I had to aim for was for her face which was sticking out of this hole surrounded by trashbags and I was about 10 feet away. I missed by a mile... like not even close. On top of that a picture of the event was in the yearbook and in the picture you could see it was not even going to be close and it was only a few feet out of my hand.

I had never thrown a fickin pie before I didn't understand the dynamics. That's my story and I'm stickin to it.

[HarryCallahan]

I think I've said it before but when I was in college I had a friend named Bridget who I would always flirt/play fight with (pushing each other, smacking each other, tripping each other etc). One my first day of Astronomy class I was scoping out the lecture hall to see where I wanted to sit and I saw Bridget sitting towards the front so I went to go sit with her. I walked up and said "hey bitch" and smacked her in the back of the head.

It wasn't her at all...the girl screams "dude what the hell!?" and I spent the next hour apologizing to her and took her out to lunch after class


:pimp:

[chips93]

socially awkward thread >>>

[HarryCallahan]

socially awkward thread >>>

Shade>>>>>>>>>>>>

[Jameerthefear]

socially awkward thread >>>
that was an imitation :confusedshrug:

[Rake2204]

I didn't eat at Subway until I was 23 years old. The entire ordering process was overwhelming to me at the time. My friend told me to play it cool but I didn't know anything about cheese, bread, or toppings so I was flustered when put on the spot. I desperately tried to look ahead to the person in front of me to memorize the steps and plan out my requests.

I sweated my way through the entire process but I just about made a flawless order. I felt relief. I felt joy. Then the dude behind the counter asked me,

"Is this going to be a meal?"

Brimming with pride after my perfect order, I was thrown for a curve with what I perceived to be his forward advance and strangely personal question. I hesitated, then confidently responded,

"I don't know. We'll see."

The Subway employee paused. And stared blankly.

My friend froze. Turned his head. And stared blankly.

Meanwhile, I was feeling pretty good, facing forward, standing upright with my hands clasped in front of me, patiently awaiting my sandwich, just wondering why the Subway employee wanted to know if this sub was going to be all I was having for dinner.

Being as perceptive as I am, I realized my answer wasn't good enough. It appeared he wanted a definitive answer, so I gave it some thought and figured maybe I'd be eating something else once I got home. So when he asked me again if the sub was going to be a meal I finally concluded, "No, probably not." Mystified, the Subway employee accepted my payment and life went on.

My friend would later explain to me that a "Meal" at Subway was code for a sandwich, chips, and a drink.

I am retarded.

[Myth]

Caught by my mom looking at porn.

Caught by my HS friend's dad jerking it to my friend's porn collection (I thought I was the only 1 in the house).

That same HS friend was my college roommate, and he caught me jerking it.

My HS girlfriend was not ready to do anything besides over the clothes stuff. She jerked me off over the top of jeans. It rubbed me raw and I had a scab on my dick head. At school the next day I walked with a hand in my pocket to hold myself from rubbing and with a limp. When people asked what happened, I said I hurt my knee, but I felt very awkward every time somebody asked what happened.

[Myth]

I have a good one about a friend (the one who caught me jerking it). My friends and I had a running joke our Freshman year of college in which when a conversation got awkward, we pointed out the awkwardness by dropping our pants and just standing there in our underwear. One day we were eating in a Subway and we had enough people to occupy 2 small booths. My friend was in the outside seat of the booth (he is about 5'3" and 130lbs) and on the inside seat of the booth was another friend (about 6'5" and 300lbs). My smaller friend thought a conversation went awkward and undid his pants, but the moment passed. He kept them undone waiting for another opportunity. The girls at a nearby booth started throwing wadded up napkins at the bigger friend. He decided he was going to rush the girls so he tells the smaller friend to move and starts pushing the small friend out of the way. The smaller friend flew out of the booth, his pants fell down exposing tighty whiteys, and he landed on the floor in the middle of the Subway.

[Dictator]

Those two walls of text above seem like they could be hilarious if it were written in english.

[DonDadda59]

Happened just yesterday... I was walking through a park with a friend. I see a little kid running towards us while dribbling a soccer ball. It got away from him and came directly to me. I stopped it by putting my foot on top of it, only issue was the kid never stopped running full speed after it. He ran right into the stopped ball, tripped, went flying into the air, ATE IT... HARD.

Luckily he wasn't injured (as far as I could tell) but he hit the pavement with force. My friend and I helped him up and checked to make sure he was ok. His dad came along, looked pissed as hell, but didn't say a word. Just got his kid and walked away.

Shit was ugly :facepalm

[Jameerthefear]

Happened just yesterday... I was walking through a park with a friend. I see a little kid running towards us while dribbling a soccer ball. It got away from him and came directly to me. I stopped it by putting my foot on top of it, only issue was the kid never stopped running full speed after it. He ran right into the stopped ball, tripped, went flying into the air, ATE IT... HARD.

Luckily he wasn't injured (as far as I could tell) but he hit the pavement with force. My friend and I helped him up and checked to make sure he was ok. His dad came along, looked pissed as hell, but didn't say a word. Just got his kid and walked away.

Shit was ugly :facepalm
That must have sucked. It's one of those situations where you don't really see it coming so you can't avoid, but you would have understood if the father got mad. :lol

[tmacattack33]

I didn't eat at Subway until I was 23 years old. The entire ordering process was overwhelming to me at the time. My friend told me to play it cool but I didn't know anything about cheese, bread, or toppings so I was flustered when put on the spot. I desperately tried to look ahead to the person in front of me to memorize the steps and plan out my requests.

I sweated my way through the entire process but I just about made a flawless order. I felt relief. I felt joy. Then the dude behind the counter asked me,

"Is this going to be a meal?"

Brimming with pride after my perfect order, I was thrown for a curve with what I perceived to be his forward advance and strangely personal question. I hesitated, then confidently responded,

"I don't know. We'll see."

The Subway employee paused. And stared blankly.

My friend froze. Turned his head. And stared blankly.

Meanwhile, I was feeling pretty good, facing forward, standing upright with my hands clasped in front of me, patiently awaiting my sandwich, just wondering why the Subway employee wanted to know if this sub was going to be all I was having for dinner.

Being as perceptive as I am, I realized my answer wasn't good enough. It appeared he wanted a definitive answer, so I gave it some thought and figured maybe I'd be eating something else once I got home. So when he asked me again if the sub was going to be a meal I finally concluded, "No, probably not." Mystified, the Subway employee accepted my payment and life went on.

My friend would later explain to me that a "Meal" at Subway was code for a sandwich, chips, and a drink.

I am retarded.

Absolutely hilarious.

Almost so hilarious that it seemed fake.

But i remember when i first went to a subway too and that sh*t was ridiculously confusing. And i still don't really know why they have particular names for sandwiches (italian bmt, black forest ham, etc) if you are allowed to just customize it yourself anyway...i guess maybe for pricing.

[Rake2204]

A few weeks ago I was hanging out with a girl I was trying to date. It was unseasonably warm on this particular evening so we ventured outside and tried to make good use of what was to be one of Michigan's last mild evenings of the year. We did goofy stuff. We stood together on top of a picnic table, we held our arms out like airplanes as we weaved in and out of a row of pine trees, we stared off into the sky... it was an awful romantic comedy montage.

Then, as we walked back to our cars, we spotted an empty plastic bottle in the grass and began to playfully kick it around. She was all full of energy and whatnot. Then she was like, "Wait, hold on" and she scampered a few feet ahead of me. Staring back at me, she widened her feet a little bit and encouragingly said, "Score a goal!"

Wanting to build off the innuendo that came with my date spreading her legs and excitedly telling me to score, I decided I'd slam this thing home with authority. I took two measured steps backward, as if I were prepping for a game-winning field goal, took a deep breath, and began my forward approach. Standing helplessly with arms at her side and feet spread, just five and a half feet in front of me, I full-force placekicked an empty Gatorade bottle directly into my date's face, right between the eyes.

Really killed the mood.

[outbreak]

I've got an embarrassing one from a few weeks back. I live in the suburbs about 40 minute drive out from the main central city area and I've never driven into the city before as it's usually quicker and easier to catch a train in and if I'm drinking I can't drive in anyway.

The other week my girlfriend wanted me to drive her to Ikea on the edge of the city, I've never had to park in a garage before that I had to pay for and I was driving my Dads big ass 4 wheel drive for the furniture we were buying, peak hour busy as hell and I pulled up too far away from the machine that you take your ticket out of before the gate opens. Was getting flustered not really knowing what I'm doing while my girlfriend just laughed at me trying to reach out the window to reach while keeping my foot on the break. Ended up having to put it in park and open the door to grab it. Luckily nooone started beeping me and it probably only took less than a minute but I was panicing.

A friend of mine did similar to the subway incident recently, at a work function we get to have travel time added to our pay, someone asked how long his drive was and he just kept saying "not long was a good drive".

[ace23]

A few weeks ago I was hanging out with a girl I was trying to date. It was unseasonably warm on this particular evening so we ventured outside and tried to make good use of what was to be one of Michigan's last mild evenings of the year. We did goofy stuff. We stood together on top of a picnic table, we held our arms out like airplanes as we weaved in and out of a row of pine trees, we stared off into the sky... it was an awful romantic comedy montage.

Then, as we walked back to our cars, we spotted an empty plastic bottle in the grass and began to playfully kick it around. She was all full of energy and whatnot. Then she was like, "Wait, hold on" and she scampered a few feet ahead of me. Staring back at me, she widened her feet a little bit and encouragingly said, "Score a goal!"

Wanting to build off the innuendo that came with my date spreading her legs and excitedly telling me to score, I decided I'd slam this thing home with authority. I took two measured steps backward, as if I were prepping for a game-winning field goal, took a deep breath, and began my forward approach. Standing helplessly with arms at her side and feet spread, just five and a half feet in front of me, I full-force placekicked an empty Gatorade bottle directly into my date's face, right between the eyes.

Really killed the mood.
lol

u smash tho?

[Jameerthefear]

this is more cringey than embarrassing, but there is this girl who looks like one of my favorite girls from the Moe Thread. I keep kind of stalking her... I'm starting to creep myself out.

[chosen_one6]

When I was working at Kohl's a few years back I was sick but didn't call out of work. My nose was runny as hell and I had tissue but the store was so busy I didn't have time to wipe my nose constantly. A couple came up and and I was ringing up there stuff when I saw a long drop of snot hanging from my nose. I apologized and wiped it as fast as I could. They stood there in complete silence and wouldn't even let me bag their stuff. They walked out without saying a word. By far the lowest I ever felt in my life.

[cuad]

When I woke up the next morning, she was a man.

[cos88]

this is more cringey than embarrassing, but there is this girl who looks like one of my favorite girls from the Moe Thread. I keep kind of stalking her... I'm starting to creep myself out.


i knew you were a 15 year old anime pedophile freak not you're a 15 year old anime pedophile stalker freak from alabama the shitiest place in usa :facepalm

[bdreason]

Old thread, but I have a good one.


I was 15 years old, a sophomore in HS, but I rolled with a much older crowd. I was at a friends apartment with my GF drinking and smoking herb. Besides my GF and her friend, the other people there were in their early 20's. They had bought some hard liquor, I think the two brands were Hot Damn and Everclear, which are no joke. So of course I'm trying to hang with the older guys, and I'm taking shots I shouldn't be taking. About 20 minutes later I'm drunk as ****, and in the bathroom. I went in there to puke, but decided I had to take shit instead. So I'm sitting on the pot with my pants around my ankles, and one of my friends busts through the door holding his mouth, looking to puke. I'm sitting on the toilet, so he throws open on the shower curtain and just starts barfing all over the place. Seeing this makes me sick, so I jump off the pot and start puking into the toilet. Everyone comes running into the bathroom, including my GF and her friend, and I'm puking in the toilet with my pants pulled around my ankles... and the other guy is laying next me puking into the tub.

Thankfully camera phones and facebook didn't exist back then.

[ace23]

Had you shitted in the toilet yet?

[East_Stone_Ya]

i touched my teachers boobs by accident once. She gave me a strange glimpse.
It felt so awkward to attend her classes afterwards :(

[ace23]

I used to jack off to my teachers in class all the time in middle school. Didn't realize how obvious what I was doing was until I got a little older. It'd be kind of awkward to meet them today. Feel like I've said this before, but **** it.

I remember continually trying to look up my first grade teacher's skirt during story time.

[Jameerthefear]

Well Jameer, which girl from that thread?
http://i.imgur.com/gYZsFbH.gif

[CeltsGarlic]

Old thread, but I have a good one.


I was 15 years old, a sophomore in HS, but I rolled with a much older crowd. I was at a friends apartment with my GF drinking and smoking herb. Besides my GF and her friend, the other people there were in their early 20's. They had bought some hard liquor, I think the two brands were Hot Damn and Everclear, which are no joke. So of course I'm trying to hang with the older guys, and I'm taking shots I shouldn't be taking. About 20 minutes later I'm drunk as ****, and in the bathroom. I went in there to puke, but decided I had to take shit instead. So I'm sitting on the pot with my pants around my ankles, and one of my friends busts through the door holding his mouth, looking to puke. I'm sitting on the toilet, so he throws open on the shower curtain and just starts barfing all over the place. Seeing this makes me sick, so I jump off the pot and start puking into the toilet. Everyone comes running into the bathroom, including my GF and her friend, and I'm puking in the toilet with my pants pulled around my ankles... and the other guy is laying next me puking into the tub.

Thankfully camera phones and facebook didn't exist back then.

Thats hilarious :lol

[CeltsGarlic]

Well this one happened just a week ago. I was at my friends place, pretty high, and I lost a game of something that I didnt managed to even understand the rules. So I needed to take a mouth full of coffee. I emptied that can. All cool and laughs, while friends parents came back - all this out of nowhere. So we sittin in the kitchen all high af, and his mother decides that she really wants coffee. It was about 2AM :lol. Im standing with mouth full of it, but trying that she wouldnt notice.His mother sees that there is no more, and asks her son where it is? dude says I dunno, while Im almost crying cause its so funny, and Im trying to control it so its only worse. Not even mentioning that my mouth is super dry cause of coffee and weed. Cant control it anymore, and spit that shit all over the place :lol
Ended up leaving without even saying a word.. :lol

Next day Im there with a coffee can and an apology :lol

[andremiller07]

Levity has to tell that story where his girls mum caught him doing a reverse Kanga in her toilet, that shit had me dying when I read that.

This didn't happened to me but I was there to witness at our primary school graduation some kid went up to do a speech and you could tell he was hell nervous about it, so he starts talking, begins to stutter than all of a sudden cut's his story short and says "I need to pee" hell loud into the microphone and proceed to piss himself in front of everyone and started crying and ran to the toilets.

[Myth]

Was just thinking of trying to pick up a random girl at a bar a while back. I was with some friends and I had never tried to pick up a girl at a bar before (was always used to hitting on girls I knew through school and such). It was New Years and I was the only single one in the group, so I told them that I would do "exactly" what they told me to do in my attempts. My friend told me to ask a girl what she was drinking (he never told me to ease it into conversation after introducing myself), so I walked right up and asked what she was drinking. My friend immediately grabbed me and walked me away from her and went "That was creepy as shit." I told him I would do exactly as he said. Reminded me of the movie 50/50 when Seth Rogan told JGL to open up with "I have cancer" and Rogan immediately goes "Nope, I was wrong. That was weird."

[Rake2204]

lol

u smash tho?We're still dating.

Last week I gave her a bloody nose trying to kiss her.

[rufuspaul]

My friends and I had a running joke our Freshman year of college in which when a conversation got awkward, we pointed out the awkwardness by dropping our pants and just standing there in our underwear.


:wtf:

[Rake2204]

Awkward runs in the family. My little brother went to get his car's oil changed for the first time today. He started things off by scraping the side of his car along the side of the garage upon entry. Employees shook their heads in disappointment. Then he held his money out the window for the entire time they changed his oil, just waiting for someone to take it like he was at a strip club. Finally, when the mechanic brought back a handful of change, my brother thought he wanted a fist bump, so he provided one. The guy had to explain to my brother that he was just trying to give him his due change, and that post-oil change fist bumps are not standard industry procedure.

[Rocketswin2013]

Ok...I was 13....Bare with me...


So yeah, I was 13. We had just moved into these new apartments. In the apartments, there was what they would call a "business center" for like, little things for the residents to do like play pool, excerise, and get on the internet. There's a computer room with 2 computers in a room inside the building. We didn't havea computer at the time. So I went. The place was vacated as hell. It was in the afternoon on a weekend. So I was just playing a computer game, when an ad popped up of this chick's ass on the side of the screen. I got hard. I said screw it, I'm bored I'll watch some porn. So I watch some porn involving some brunette. I forgot the name.

So eventually I get to the point where I just want to bust one. I couldn't resist. I was a minute-man at this age so I could bust one pretty quick. I look over to my left and there was a box of kleenex. It was time. So I whip it out, start jerking it. I was nervous but horny as hell. I put the volume at a moderate volume and went at it. After about 5-10 minutes of jerking it like the virgin I was, I came. Right at the moment it busted, I hear a woman talking on the phone and someone opening a door to the entrance. The entrance to even get in was a solid 20-30 feet and some hallways away, but I had came all over my shirt. I ****ing panicked. I closed all of the tabs and by the time I could wipe the shit up, the fat bitch came in and said she was locking up.........:banghead: :banghead:

Now I had nut all over my shirt. And had basketball shorts on so the annoying after nut boner was impossible to hide. My back was facing her. I said "Okay," So I use the kleenex tissue I had in hand and wipe as unnoticeably as I could. It didn't work well at all. :facepalm :facepalm :facepalm

I get up, maneuver my c0ck to where the tip was at the waist of the shorts so I could at least have a fair shot of hiding it, and walk out. While I was walking out, the fat bitch stared, and I mean STARED at the boner and c.um. I was ****ing humiliated. I went straight to a restroom right in the place and cleaned the shit up. I waited for her to leave and then left.

I didn't go back for like months. :lol My mom told me to pick up a package(packages go there) from there and it was awkward AS ****. Each and every last of the women that worked ther stared at me like hell. :facepalm

So glad I no longer live there there. :lol

[Heavincent]

Awkward runs in the family. My little brother went to get his car's oil changed for the first time today. He started things off by scraping the side of his car along the side of the garage upon entry. Employees shook their heads in disappointment. Then he held his money out the window for the entire time they changed his oil, just waiting for someone to take it like he was at a strip club. Finally, when the mechanic brought back a handful of change, my brother thought he wanted a fist bump, so he provided one. The guy had to explain to my brother that he was just trying to give him his due change, and that post-oil change fist bumps are not standard industry procedure.

lol you have the best stories.

[ace23]

Ok...I was 13....Bare with me...


So yeah, I was 13. We had just moved into these new apartments. In the apartments, there was what they would call a "business center" for like, little things for the residents to do like play pool, excerise, and get on the internet. There's a computer room with 2 computers in a room inside the building. We didn't havea computer at the time. So I went. The place was vacated as hell. It was in the afternoon on a weekend. So I was just playing a computer game, when an ad popped up of this chick's ass on the side of the screen. I got hard. I said screw it, I'm bored I'll watch some porn. So I watch some porn involving some brunette. I forgot the name.

So eventually I get to the point where I just want to bust one. I couldn't resist. I was a minute-man at this age so I could bust one pretty quick. I look over to my left and there was a box of kleenex. It was time. So I whip it out, start jerking it. I was nervous but horny as hell. I put the volume at a moderate volume and went at it. After about 5-10 minutes of jerking it like the virgin I was, I came. Right at the moment it busted, I hear a woman talking on the phone and someone opening a door to the entrance. The entrance to even get in was a solid 20-30 feet and some hallways away, but I had came all over my shirt. I ****ing panicked. I closed all of the tabs and by the time I could wipe the shit up, the fat bitch came in and said she was locking up.........:banghead: :banghead:

Now I had nut all over my shirt. And had basketball shorts on so the annoying after nut boner was impossible to hide. My back was facing her. I said "Okay," So I use the kleenex tissue I had in hand and wipe as unnoticeably as I could. It didn't work well at all. :facepalm :facepalm :facepalm

I get up, maneuver my c0ck to where the tip was at the waist of the shorts so I could at least have a fair shot of hiding it, and walk out. While I was walking out, the fat bitch stared, and I mean STARED at the boner and c.um. I was ****ing humiliated. I went straight to a restroom right in the place and cleaned the shit up. I waited for her to leave and then left.

I didn't go back for like months. :lol My mom told me to pick up a package(packages go there) from there and it was awkward AS ****. Each and every last of the women that worked ther stared at me like hell. :facepalm

So glad I no longer live there there. :lol
:roll:

[KiiiiNG]

Awkward runs in the family. My little brother went to get his car's oil changed for the first time today. He started things off by scraping the side of his car along the side of the garage upon entry. Employees shook their heads in disappointment. Then he held his money out the window for the entire time they changed his oil, just waiting for someone to take it like he was at a strip club. Finally, when the mechanic brought back a handful of change, my brother thought he wanted a fist bump, so he provided one. The guy had to explain to my brother that he was just trying to give him his due change, and that post-oil change fist bumps are not standard industry procedure.
:roll:

what a ****ing retard.

[Rake2204]

Not awkward, just embarrassing.

Happened my junior year of high school:

1) Took a lot of charges for my high school team. But did a really bad job this particular time. Didn't cut off baseline, pretty much flopped as a means of compensating for my poor baseline coverage. Called for block.

2) Laid on the floor like an idiot as I contemplated how dumb it was to try to induce a charge even though I was completely out of position.

3) Opponent attempted a layup anyway, even though whistle blown on floor. I'm still laying there, with my arms across my body like I'm resting in a casket.

4) Dude's shot deflects of the high glass, a solid 12.5 feet in the air, then skims the rim on its descent and proceeds to drill me right in the face.

5) Entire gymnasium laughs in unison at ball that bounces off my face while I'm laying on the floor like a moron for no good reason.

Video evidence:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_NhM_-h5bHQ

Pretty sure one of my teammates was going to help me up at first, until I got hit in the head with the ball. Then at that point he just kept walking because he didn't want to be a part of the charade.

[senelcoolidge]

Back in high school, after school I used to play basketball on the courts until it was too dark too play anymore. Sometimes girls from the basketball team would play with us. Now of course these girls were playing hard and we were trying to take it easy because they were girls. The game is going and I guess I totally forgot, but on a rebound I went up and on the way down I swung my elbow. I hit some girl and broke her nose. Blood everywhere. I didn't know what to do. So I took off my dirty sweaty t shirt and tried to stabilize her nose and control the bleed. I told her I'm sorry and told her she could keep the shirt. I than proceeded to walk home.

[Goofsta Knicca]

Not awkward, just embarrassing.

Happened my junior year of high school:

1) Took a lot of charges for my high school team. But did a really bad job this particular time. Didn't cut off baseline, pretty much flopped as a means of compensating for my poor baseline coverage. Called for block.

2) Laid on the floor like an idiot as I contemplated how dumb it was to try to induce a charge even though I was completely out of position.

3) Opponent attempted a layup anyway, even though whistle blown on floor. I'm still laying there, with my arms across my body like I'm resting in a casket.

4) Dude's shot deflects of the high glass, a solid 12.5 feet in the air, then skims the rim on its descent and proceeds to drill me right in the face.

5) Entire gymnasium laughs in unison at ball that bounces off my face while I'm laying on the floor like a moron for no good reason.

Video evidence:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_NhM_-h5bHQ

Pretty sure one of my teammates was going to help me up at first, until I got hit in the head with the ball. Then at that point he just kept walking because he didn't want to be a part of the charade.

Coulda been worse. U coulda got it like this dood: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HDSriqAi_1c&feature=youtu.be&t=33m0s

[Bosnian Sajo]

I didn't eat at Subway until I was 23 years old. The entire ordering process was overwhelming to me at the time. My friend told me to play it cool but I didn't know anything about cheese, bread, or toppings so I was flustered when put on the spot. I desperately tried to look ahead to the person in front of me to memorize the steps and plan out my requests.

I sweated my way through the entire process but I just about made a flawless order. I felt relief. I felt joy. Then the dude behind the counter asked me,

"Is this going to be a meal?"

Brimming with pride after my perfect order, I was thrown for a curve with what I perceived to be his forward advance and strangely personal question. I hesitated, then confidently responded,

"I don't know. We'll see."

The Subway employee paused. And stared blankly.

My friend froze. Turned his head. And stared blankly.

Meanwhile, I was feeling pretty good, facing forward, standing upright with my hands clasped in front of me, patiently awaiting my sandwich, just wondering why the Subway employee wanted to know if this sub was going to be all I was having for dinner.

Being as perceptive as I am, I realized my answer wasn't good enough. It appeared he wanted a definitive answer, so I gave it some thought and figured maybe I'd be eating something else once I got home. So when he asked me again if the sub was going to be a meal I finally concluded, "No, probably not." Mystified, the Subway employee accepted my payment and life went on.

My friend would later explain to me that a "Meal" at Subway was code for a sandwich, chips, and a drink.

I am retarded.


I love you, I don't remember the last time I laughed this hard because of a post from ISH. :oldlol: Well done :applause:

[ace23]

Not awkward, just embarrassing.

Happened my junior year of high school:

1) Took a lot of charges for my high school team. But did a really bad job this particular time. Didn't cut off baseline, pretty much flopped as a means of compensating for my poor baseline coverage. Called for block.

2) Laid on the floor like an idiot as I contemplated how dumb it was to try to induce a charge even though I was completely out of position.

3) Opponent attempted a layup anyway, even though whistle blown on floor. I'm still laying there, with my arms across my body like I'm resting in a casket.

4) Dude's shot deflects of the high glass, a solid 12.5 feet in the air, then skims the rim on its descent and proceeds to drill me right in the face.

5) Entire gymnasium laughs in unison at ball that bounces off my face while I'm laying on the floor like a moron for no good reason.

Video evidence:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_NhM_-h5bHQ

Pretty sure one of my teammates was going to help me up at first, until I got hit in the head with the ball. Then at that point he just kept walking because he didn't want to be a part of the charade.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ALLBzsRlGQQ

Is this your team with the white jerseys? Are you aware that this video is wildly popular on social media?

[ROCSteady]

Ok I have one too good not to share but fortunately, it didn't happen to me. Granted, this is still a factual moment in history.

Around five years ago, I used to live in an apartment with my two best friends. Three pretty good looking guys who were very popular around a small city in Pennsylvania, we were always having parties and having girls around to chill, it was our routine lifestyle.

My friend was dating a girl who had a big fat brother who uncannily resembled a young version of

http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/Leon_White_9323.jpg who came around and stayed at the apartment pretty often.

There was a period where we would hang out a lot with our downstairs neighbors, to the point we knew them pretty well; one really attractive girl with a great body and a couple mildly attractive chicks that still would have been a pipe dream for the fat brother to be with sexually.

Anyway, there came a day where a venture to Hershey Park was in order so the girls downstairs went along and it happened to be a very busy, hot day at the lovely chocolate family theme park with lots of patrons, long lines, etc.

At the water ride section, there was a line for one of those rides where you get on your own inner tube or whatever and ride down the streaming pipelines of plastic pandemonium to a larger portion at the bottom with a big pool to gather yourself and exit where the eager riders await.

This big obese brother, who was very nice and yearned for our friendship badly presumably due to having substantial self-esteem issues from being so fat, boards the ride and hauls ass on his personal inner tube down this fun aqua apparatus made for adrenal thrills and the escapement of a hot day. However, little did he know that this merger of physics and recreation may change him forever.

At the bottom of the slide, he wipes out hard after losing stability on the plastic instrument of his possible self-destruction. In the process, he loses his swim trunks ( have no idea how this happened) and finally is at rest at the bottom pool portion of the ride's conclusion. Only it gets worse from there...

Being a large large boy who was possibly injured (if he was, it was never known to us, most likely not), or just incapable of getting up due to his stature, in a shallow wading pool, he had to be assisted by the Park Services so that he could be removed from the ride. By this time, the momentum of people that make up the machine of a long amusement park attraction had halted dead due to the immobile man at the end of the ride.

Not only did he need employees to assist him out of the pool, THEY HAD TO DRAIN THE WATER OUT AND RETURN HIS TRUNKS TO HIM WHILE HE WAITED ASS CHEEKS OUT so that they could help him leave, and refill it before the ride could be back in working order. All the while with some guys he desperately wanted to be good friends with a the assortment of girls who were friendly with him that lived downstairs.

He did not say a word on the long ride home. I would not be surprised if he has PSTD from this ill fated slide excursion.

[LilKateMoss]

Ok I have one too good not to share but fortunately, it didn't happen to me. Granted, this is still a factual moment in history.

Around five years ago, I used to live in an apartment with my two best friends. Three pretty good looking guys who were very popular around a small city in Pennsylvania, we were always having parties and having girls around to chill, it was our routine lifestyle.

My friend was dating a girl who had a big fat brother who uncannily resembled a young version of

http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/Leon_White_9323.jpg who came around and stayed at the apartment pretty often.

There was a period where we would hang out a lot with our downstairs neighbors, to the point we knew them pretty well; one really attractive girl with a great body and a couple mildly attractive chicks that still would have been a pipe dream for the fat brother to be with sexually.

Anyway, there came a day where a venture to Hershey Park was in order so the girls downstairs went along and it happened to be a very busy, hot day at the lovely chocolate family theme park with lots of patrons, long lines, etc.

At the water ride section, there was a line for one of those rides where you get on your own inner tube or whatever and ride down the streaming pipelines of plastic pandemonium to a larger portion at the bottom with a big pool to gather yourself and exit where the eager riders await.

This big obese brother, who was very nice and yearned for our friendship badly presumably due to having substantial self-esteem issues from being so fat, boards the ride and hauls ass on his personal inner tube down this fun aqua apparatus made for adrenal thrills and the escapement of a hot day. However, little did he know that this merger of physics and recreation may change him forever.

At the bottom of the slide, he wipes out hard after losing stability on the plastic instrument of his possible self-destruction. In the process, he loses his swim trunks ( have no idea how this happened) and finally is at rest at the bottom pool portion of the ride's conclusion. Only it gets worse from there...

Being a large large boy who was possibly injured (if he was, it was never known to us, most likely not), or just incapable of getting up due to his stature, in a shallow wading pool, he had to be assisted by the Park Services so that he could be removed from the ride. By this time, the momentum of people that make up the machine of a long amusement park attraction had halted dead due to the immobile man at the end of the ride.

Not only did he need employees to assist him out of the pool, THEY HAD TO DRAIN THE WATER OUT AND RETURN HIS TRUNKS TO HIM WHILE HE WAITED ASS CHEEKS OUT so that they could help him leave, and refill it before the ride could be back in working order. All the while with some guys he desperately wanted to be good friends with a the assortment of girls who were friendly with him that lived downstairs.

He did not say a word on the long ride home. I would not be surprised if he has PSTD from this ill fated slide excursion.
You tried too hard to make it funny and failed miserably.

[ROCSteady]

:(


It's still true. I couldn't help but tell this story the way I did because it seems so surreal.

Like a game changer in the destiny of this poor guy

[knickballer]

Middle school pep rally. Me and my brother were on the same team and we both have foreign sounding names. So ofc the dumbass coach when he announces every player to run through the field in front of the school calls us both together in the same line so we both have to run together. N1gga did that shit on purpose too to get a lol but whatever I think the dude got caught selling steroids to students so idgaf

Another time in high school we where all in the auditorium for some type of presentation. So I'm sitting in one of the isle seats and when some hot chick walks by I'm trying to act cool n all and I spill the can of coke on my shirt like a moron lol

[Rake2204]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ALLBzsRlGQQ

Is this your team with the white jerseys? Are you aware that this video is wildly popular on social media?Yep, don't even have to click the link, that's us, haha.

I actually found that clip on one of my old VHS tapes about a year ago and it was so atrocious that I uploaded it to my NBA YouTube account because I didn't think enough people would see it on Rake2204 (though I uploaded it there too recently).

Anyhow, uploaded it a year ago and even then, it only accumulated about 900 views in 12 months. But I guess the right person finally saw it. I think it was The Basketball Network or something; began popping up on Facebook about a month ago and suddenly it's been viewed like 20 million times. The bummer, of course, is that all those views don't go to me and my NBA account isn't monetized anyway :-\

I've had a good time reading all the comments though.

[Bosnian Sajo]

You can monetize specific videos, I have a youtube account with over 500k views and although half of that comes from a Rasheed Wallace video (can't monetize), I was still able to monitize other videos that I had. 20m views...if you get $2 per 1000 views that's 40k right there man. That's the average rate, although you might get lower since the rest of your videos don't have that many views.

[Rake2204]

You can monetize specific videos, I have a youtube account with over 500k views and although half of that comes from a Rasheed Wallace video (can't monetize), I was still able to monitize other videos that I had. 20m views...if you get $2 per 1000 views that's 40k right there man. That's the average rate, although you might get lower since the rest of your videos don't have that many views.Thanks, man. I monetized my Rake channel a while ago and it seemed to monetize all my videos automatically. I have this weird fear about flipping the switch for my NBA channel, in case one accidentally gets monetized that I didn't want to be, catching the NBA's attention and resulting in them shutting my channel down - would be a lot of man-hours down the drain. I was wondering about the "monetize one at a time" thing, so again, I appreciate the input.

Either way, unfortunately, the 20 million views all went to third parties. People downloaded my video and uploaded it on their own Facebook site. Not sure there's a ton I can do about that one :-\ The original is sitting at a touch over 20,000.

[ace23]

Thanks, man. I monetized my Rake channel a while ago and it seemed to monetize all my videos automatically. I have this weird fear about flipping the switch for my NBA channel, in case one accidentally gets monetized that I didn't want to be, catching the NBA's attention and resulting in them shutting my channel down - would be a lot of man-hours down the drain. I was wondering about the "monetize one at a time" thing, so again, I appreciate the input.

Either way, unfortunately, the 20 million views all went to third parties. People downloaded my video and uploaded it on their own Facebook site. Not sure there's a ton I can do about that one :-\ The original is sitting at a touch over 20,000.
Tbh you should seriously look into some kind of compensation from whoever stole and uploaded your video. 20 mil is a lot of views...

[Bosnian Sajo]

Thanks, man. I monetized my Rake channel a while ago and it seemed to monetize all my videos automatically. I have this weird fear about flipping the switch for my NBA channel, in case one accidentally gets monetized that I didn't want to be, catching the NBA's attention and resulting in them shutting my channel down - would be a lot of man-hours down the drain. I was wondering about the "monetize one at a time" thing, so again, I appreciate the input.

Either way, unfortunately, the 20 million views all went to third parties. People downloaded my video and uploaded it on their own Facebook site. Not sure there's a ton I can do about that one :-\ The original is sitting at a touch over 20,000.

Your NBA videos are automatically locked, no biggie they won't shut your channel or even delete said videos, but you can't make money off of them. Your own however, you can. And I would most definitely look into this shit, be it with youtube, lawyer, or 3rd party person directly, and get your money. After all, you uploaded the original, it is your video. And like I said, 20m views = a nice amount of money.

[Rake2204]

Your NBA videos are automatically locked, no biggie they won't shut your channel or even delete said videos, but you can't make money off of them. Your own however, you can. And I would most definitely look into this shit, be it with youtube, lawyer, or 3rd party person directly, and get your money. After all, you uploaded the original, it is your video. And like I said, 20m views = a nice amount of money.Thanks, man. I sort of resigned myself to not being able to do a whole lot retrospectively. Before it went viral I'd already read a few articles about how this has happened to a lot of people, where people "freeboot" YouTube videos to Facebook as their own, with owners of original content not left with much they can do in response beyond flagging it. Apparently it's a big time issue, especially for folks who curate content on a regular basis. http://www.businessinsider.com/how-facebook-is-stealing-billions-of-views-youtube-video-goes-viral-2015-11

And I mean, I guess in a way, if the original guys didn't steal it and put it on Facebook, it may have never gone viral to begin with so, I don't know. I thought about this angle too though: I didn't film the game myself - it was a copy of the filmmaker's tape from a game I played in, so I wonder if that wouldn't even make me the owner or something.

[Rake2204]

Anyway, back on track. Not sure if this one's going to translate but...

My little brother's team had a new varsity basketball coach a few years ago, named Coach Fortescue (pronounced Ford-askew). Young bro is a little quiet and shy, especially around adults he doesn't know.

Anyhow, at the first open gym under his tenure, Coach Fortescue was walking around and introducing himself to all the players. Caught my brother off guard and things went weird fast.

Basically, the coach came by and said, "Hi, I'm Coach Fortescue." But my brother inexplicably heard it as, "Hi, I'm 42." So my bro panicked, trying to figure out what the hell the new guy was talking about. He decided it must be some kind of jersey number theme thing, so he shook the coach's hand and said...

"Hi, I'm 24."

[Velocirap31]

:lol Thanks for the laugh Rake.

[Rake2204]

Went to a wedding for the friend of a friend this weekend. Arrived on my own because my date was a part of the bridal party.

Kind of strange going solo, didn't totally know what to do and didn't know anybody, so I just made sure to show up 10 minutes early, provided a firm and hearty handshake to the groom as he stood by the door, congratulated him on the wedding, then quickly found my seat.

Turns out I shook the hand of the bride's brother, not the groom. So... spent the rest of the night avoiding that guy and now I'll forever be the random dude who congratulated a guy for marrying his own sister.

[Nilocon165]

Back in high school, we had a substitute teacher in Spanish class one day. Like most sub days, we had a movie scheduled. We also had a project due soon, so we had visual aides that needed to be worked on and completed. As such, likely reading directly from the lesson plan, the substitute teacher said, "As you watch the movie, you may work on your visual."

Then, as if I had suddenly become afflicted with an acute case of tourette's syndrome, I stood up, grabbed my crotch and said, "How 'bout you work on this visual." Then I quietly sat back down.

My retort was so off the wall that there wasn't even a response. Even my boy who sat next to me was just looking like, "Dude. What. The Hell. Was that?" Everyone's eyes were on me for a moment, then darted to the sub to gauge her response. Thankfully, she froze, then just laughed it off - which then signaled that it was okay for everyone else to exhale and laugh a little too.

I know it sounds like I was just trying to be hilarious, like normal high school hijinks, but that was totally out of character and I have no idea how it happened. It was embarrassing. I am quite thankful the sub was cool enough not to, like, interpret it as sexual harassment. My friends still bust out the "How 'bout you work on this visual" line every now and again to this day.
:roll: :roll: :roll:

[DeuceWallaces]

When I was 15, my girlfriend's dad was a substitute teacher for night classes. It was perfect. I'd go over after school at 4-5, hang out for a bit, he would leave for work, and we'd do whatever we'd want.

So one day he leaves, we're up in her room, totally nude, no sex, but there's a lot of not-so-dry humping; lip sliding. Well, this particular night his class was cancelled and he was back with the quickness. They lived in an old Victorian house, so her room was on the third and we didn't hear the re-entry.

I just remember hearing "Steph?", followed by lights on, and "What the ****"...no time to react as he stood by the door to her room saying "You better get the **** out of here." Good time to mention that he was also a practicing black belt in Kung-Fu. He never threatened me physically, but I was terrified walking past him from her room into the hallway before I sprinted down 3 floors to my car and drove home.

The worst part was her parents were divorced and her mom used it as some "cool-mom" talking point about responsible sex so it wouldn't die for several months.

Very awkward relationship after that.

[KyrieTheFuture]

One of my warehouse bosses went to hug me and I put my hand up to say no to her cause I was ****ing filthy and got straight tit. Awkward.

[Nilocon165]

One time in a playoff game I tried to take a charge and instead got elbowed in the head and called for a block. I was a little out of it after that, and my coach was like "you want out?" And I told him I was fine. Bad decision. I grab the easy rebound off the free throw miss and proceed to lay it back in. ON THE WRONG HOOP. Keep in mind that made it a one possession game in the 4th quarter of a playoff game. The sad thing was as soon as it left my hands I realized my mistake. Looked up at the stands as I was running back the other way and my parents looked embarassed as hell. It was an awful feeling.

Luckily we won and I had 4 straight freethrows in the final minute to seal it but it could've been worse.

[DCL]

accidentally sent a text to my buddy asking "what are you wearing?'

it was meant to go to some ho.

there were several messages going on and it was a brain fart mistake.

he was like wtf f@ggot and then clowned me for a bit.

it was well deserved.

[stalkerforlife]

When I was 15, my girlfriend's dad was a substitute teacher for night classes. It was perfect. I'd go over after school at 4-5, hang out for a bit, he would leave for work, and we'd do whatever we'd want.

So one day he leaves, we're up in her room, totally nude, no sex, but there's a lot of not-so-dry humping; lip sliding. Well, this particular night his class was cancelled and he was back with the quickness. They lived in an old Victorian house, so her room was on the third and we didn't hear the re-entry.

I just remember hearing "Steph?", followed by lights on, and "What the ****"...no time to react as he stood by the door to her room saying "You better get the **** out of here." Good time to mention that he was also a practicing black belt in Kung-Fu. He never threatened me physically, but I was terrified walking past him from her room into the hallway before I sprinted down 3 floors to my car and drove home.

The worst part was her parents were divorced and her mom used it as some "cool-mom" talking point about responsible sex so it wouldn't die for several months.

Very awkward relationship after that.

You got lucky.

I would've beat the shit out of you.

[Patrick Chewing]

One of my warehouse bosses went to hug me and I put my hand up to say no to her cause I was ****ing filthy and got straight tit. Awkward.


That is awesome lol. How were they? Were they built for speed or for comfort?

[KyrieTheFuture]

That is awesome lol. How were they? Were they built for speed or for comfort?
She's one of those super skinny hippy chicks, but enough for me to appreciate the gravity of my mistake. She's still all happy go lucky in love with the world around me but I feel weird at least. I'm gonna go ahead and guess that the pool of people who have grabbed her tits is not a small one.

[ArbitraryWater]

when it comes to my mind I will surely contribute :lol

[rufuspaul]

I think I've said it before but when I was in college I had a friend named Bridget who I would always flirt/play fight with (pushing each other, smacking each other, tripping each other etc). One my first day of Astronomy class I was scoping out the lecture hall to see where I wanted to sit and I saw Bridget sitting towards the front so I went to go sit with her. I walked up and said "hey bitch" and smacked her in the back of the head.

It wasn't her at all...the girl screams "dude what the hell!?" and I spent the next hour apologizing to her and took her out to lunch after class


:oldlol: I miss B-Low

[Rake2204]

One time in a playoff game I tried to take a charge and instead got elbowed in the head and called for a block. I was a little out of it after that, and my coach was like "you want out?" And I told him I was fine. Bad decision. I grab the easy rebound off the free throw miss and proceed to lay it back in. ON THE WRONG HOOP. Keep in mind that made it a one possession game in the 4th quarter of a playoff game. The sad thing was as soon as it left my hands I realized my mistake. Looked up at the stands as I was running back the other way and my parents looked embarassed as hell. It was an awful feeling.

Luckily we won and I had 4 straight freethrows in the final minute to seal it but it could've been worse.Don't worry, may happen more than you think.

A few years ago I was coaching a 7th grade team when one of our opponents sprung a full court press on us out of nowhere. My squad struggled with backcourt pressure so I called a time-out to keep my kids from panicking, and as a means of refreshing them on our diamond press break.

Worth noting that my starting point guard that year was a more jovial, middle school version of Duane from Full House (the "whatever" guy. I know, dated reference, but it works: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Do-T28tY08#t=0m20s)

Anyhow, out of the time-out, my point guard runs to the ball as designed. He catches the inbounds pass near his opponents' bucket, as designed. But then it suddenly looks like he's thinking about shooting a layup... on his own basket. I'm standing about 60 feet away, and the dude's in his own world, so he doesn't hear my pleas to not shoot. Just as well, he can't hear the cacophony coming from parents and students in the stands, all yelling "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" in unison.

He follows through with his plan and attempts a point-blank, uncontested layup on his own basket. The ball ricochets off the backboard and hits the rim at such an angle that it begins swirling perilously around the rim, seemingly in slow motion.

Somehow, someway, the ball teeters out of the cylinder. Everyone in the gym sighs in relief at the near disaster.

Dude then gets his own rebound and lays it back in.

[fiddy]

Had an ulti-embarrassing moment a bout a month ago, not sure if want to share it with ISH :oldlol:

[Nilocon165]

Don't worry, may happen more than you think.

A few years ago I was coaching a 7th grade team when one of our opponents sprung a full court press on us out of nowhere. My squad struggled with backcourt pressure so I called a time-out to keep my kids from panicking, and as a means of refreshing them on our diamond press break.

Worth noting that my starting point guard that year was a more jovial, middle school version of Duane from Full House (the "whatever" guy. I know, dated reference, but it works: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Do-T28tY08#t=0m20s)

Anyhow, out of the time-out, my point guard runs to the ball as designed. He catches the inbounds pass near his opponents' bucket, as designed. But then it suddenly looks like he's thinking about shooting a layup... on his own basket. I'm standing about 60 feet away, and the dude's in his own world, so he doesn't hear my pleas to not shoot. Just as well, he can't hear the cacophony coming from parents and students in the stands, all yelling "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" in unison.

He follows through with his plan and attempts a point-blank, uncontested layup on his own basket. The ball ricochets off the backboard and hits the rim at such an angle that it begins swirling perilously around the rim, seemingly in slow motion.

Somehow, someway, the ball teeters out of the cylinder. Everyone in the gym sighs in relief at the near disaster.

Dude then gets his own rebound and lays it back in.
:roll:

[Bosnian Sajo]

Had an ulti-embarrassing moment a bout a month ago, not sure if want to share it with ISH :oldlol:

So why mention it..?


Did you want someone to ask you, plead with you to share your story?


Keep it to yourself, mate.

[Nilocon165]

In one of my classes I'm seated in a position where my friend is somewhat far from me and it's hard to tell whether he's talking to me or his girlfriend. He looks in pretty much the exact same direction for both of us. This has obviously led to a ton of times where I've replyed or gestured back to him when I wasn't even the one he was talking to.

It's happened a lot and sometimes I just assume he's talking to his gf and look away and he's just like "Colin wtf"

Obviously not the most embarrasing moment of my life (that's earlier in this thread) but it's happened multiple times and this thread came to mind.

I'm pretty much the king of social awkwardness tho so I'll post when I think of more moments.

[highwhey]

In one of my classes I'm seated in a position where my friend is somewhat far from me and it's hard to tell whether he's talking to me or his girlfriend. He looks in pretty much the exact same direction for both of us. This has obviously led to a ton of times where I've replyed or gestured back to him when I wasn't even the one he was talking to.

It's happened a lot and sometimes I just assume he's talking to his gf and look away and he's just like "Colin wtf"

Obviously not the most embarrasing moment of my life (that's earlier in this thread) but it's happened multiple times and this thread came to mind.

I'm pretty much the king of social awkwardness tho so I'll post when I think of more moments.
i can see that being awkward lol. just ignored him during class for now.

i have a story to share, i went with my brother to pick up his daughter (my niece) from kindergarten. my bro was upset because i got some digits from one of the mothers waiting to pick up her daughter from kindergarten also. anyhow, i called the mother to schedule a date with her daughter, except she originally had given me the number bc she thought i was interested in her, not the daughter. so awkward. :facepalm

[Nilocon165]

i can see that being awkward lol. just ignored him during class for now.
I do just ignore him sometimes when he talks to me as I assume he's talking to his gf and he has to call my name again like I'm deaf :lol


i have a story to share, i went with my brother to pick up his daughter (my niece) from kindergarten. my bro was upset because i got some digits from one of the mothers waiting to pick up her daughter from kindergarten also. anyhow, i called the mother to schedule a date with her daughter, except she originally had given me the number bc she thought i was interested in her, not the daughter. so awkward. :facepalm
You are ****ing awful :roll: :roll: :roll:

[Nilocon165]

Just gave this thread a re read. so ****ing funny:roll: