What's the point of Handjobs

[blablabla]

So I was at a bar yesterday and hooked up with a drunk chick. We went to the back room and she offered me a HJ, of course i tried to talk her into a BJ, she didn't want to and ended up leaving because she got pissed(see what i did there).
I mean why the hell would I want a Handjob i could do that myself too

[B-Low]

Why do it yourself when you can have a woman do it for you?

This applies to cooking, cleaning and jerkin yourself off

[blablabla]

Why do it yourself when you can have a woman do it for you?

This applies to cooking, cleaning and jerkin yourself off
but why have a girl jerk you off when she can just suck your johnson
it's basically the same thing for her

[L.Kizzle]

You idiot, handjobs lead to blow jobs. Never turn down a handy dude. She was drunk, she would have eventually went their. FAIL.

[RidonKs]

it's basically the same thing for her
lol

is it?

[blablabla]

lol

is it?
she's on her knees and you are standing
yes it is

[B-Low]

she's on her knees and you are standing
yes it is

So if i'm sitting in a chair HOLDING a burger, it's the same thing as me sitting in a chair with a burger IN MY MOUTH?

I don't think it's a position-based thing here...

[L.Kizzle]

Why would you stand? Relax, have a seat.
Watching too much pornos haha.

[Lebowsky]

So if i'm sitting in a chair HOLDING a burger, it's the same thing as me sitting in a chair with a burger IN MY MOUTH?

I don't think it's a position-based thing here...

:oldlol:

[L.Kizzle]

I mean why the hell would I want a Handjob i could do that myself too
Is that what you're about to do now?

[blablabla]

Why would you stand? Relax, have a seat.
no chairs only gambling machines in the back room

[LA_Showtime]

Get her to touch your dick and then worry about getting a blowjob. Most chicks won't hesitate once they're comfortable.

[sick_brah07]

You idiot, handjobs lead to blow jobs. Never turn down a handy dude. She was drunk, she would have eventually went their. FAIL.

exactly, plus your in a toilet at a bar there was a great chnace you could have ****ed her as well

edit: i didnt read it properly, you were in a back room not a toilet...... i still woulda let her grab my cok

[leopoldstotch]

:facepalm

her handjob to you could have led to a bj, but you would never know it because it never happened. it's all about the art of persuasion.

[LA_Showtime]

I would much rather say I hooked up with a chick at a bar then tell everyone I went home and jacked off to Tori Black.

[sick_brah07]

The important part is you're letting everyone know how you're gettin' your nut.


:oldlol:

[Abd El-Krim]

So I was at a bar yesterday and hooked up with a drunk chick. We went to the back room and she offered me a HJ, of course i tried to talk her into a BJ, she didn't want to and ended up leaving because she got pissed(see what i did there).
I mean why the hell would I want a Handjob i could do that myself too

:facepalm

[nightprowler10]

Get her to touch your dick and then worry about getting a blowjob. Most chicks won't hesitate once they're comfortable.
This.

[Solidape]

but why have a girl jerk you off when she can just suck your johnson
it's basically the same thing for her

She had **** warts on her mouth from all the other BJ's she gave in that restroom and felt sorry for you and didnt want you to get those warts on your pecker.

I say you go there and thank this woman from having **** warts on your pipe.

[AllenIverson3]

ban this fakkit

[skan72]

I find sort of like trying to tickle yourself. You can't really. Jerking it is a bit different because you can still get yourself off, but to me it feels way better when it's an unfamiliar female's hand, not my own. And then of course it could lead to a BJ.

Try sitting on your hand until it goes numb then jerking yourself off. I call it "The Stranger", and so does Dave Chappelle.

[ILLsmak]

So I was at a bar yesterday and hooked up with a drunk chick. We went to the back room and she offered me a HJ, of course i tried to talk her into a BJ, she didn't want to and ended up leaving because she got pissed(see what i did there).
I mean why the hell would I want a Handjob i could do that myself too

You just gotta put your hand on the back of her head and lead her down there. lol

-Smak

[rufuspaul]

I'm just taking a wild guess here... The point of a hand job is having a chick touch your dick.

:lol


I may be in the minority here but I've always found having a chick look you in the eyes while talking dirty and pumping your **** to be somewhat of a turn on. :confusedshrug:

[StateProperty]

:lol


I may be in the minority here but I've always found having a chick look you in the eyes while talking dirty and pumping your **** to be somewhat of a turn on. :confusedshrug:
Got hard from reading this

[LJJ]

I'm not a huge fan of the HJs myself either.


But OP should have went for it regardless, because if he has any game at all he could have gotten himself an upgrade anyway.

[L.Kizzle]

Got hard from reading this
Now imagine if rufas was a chick ...fck restroom break!

[LJJ]

Now imagine if rufas was a chick ...fck restroom break!

Forget a chick. He's got that dentists touch!

Don't forget all the hot toys he can bring with him either...

[LEFT4DEAD]

After one chick vomited on my dck I'm trying to avoid that. I'm satisfied with HJ now.

[rufuspaul]

Forget a chick. He's got that dentists touch!

Don't forget all the hot toys he can bring with him either...


:D

[RaininTwos]

After one chick vomited on my dck I'm trying to avoid that. I'm satisfied with HJ now.

Dude wash your d*ck.

[Derka]

Get her to touch your dick and then worry about getting a blowjob. Most chicks won't hesitate once they're comfortable.

Bingo.

[-p.tiddy-]

:lol


I may be in the minority here but I've always found having a chick look you in the eyes while talking dirty and pumping your **** to be somewhat of a turn on. :confusedshrug:
Got hard from reading this

http://i599.photobucket.com/albums/tt73/_primetime_pics/tumblr_l6hjg4iAPl1qct8z0o1_250.gif

[rufuspaul]

In the OP's defense maybe her hand was like this:

http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f80/rufuspaul/grosshand.jpg

[L.Kizzle]

In the OP's defense maybe her hand was like this:

http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f80/rufuspaul/grosshand.jpg
Dude, pretty sure that would feel wild. Like a chick slobbing with no teech, all gums.

[Nick Young]

just gave myself a handjob right now to the imagery of kate upton's jiggling jubblies. felt good:rockon: :rockon: :rockon:

[rufuspaul]

just gave myself a handjob right now to the imagery of kate upton's jiggling jubblies. felt good:rockon: :rockon: :rockon:

Pics or it didn't happen. :no:

[Nash]

Why have sex when you can get yourself a pocket p*ssy?

C'mon man..

[VishaltotheG]

Why would you stand? Relax, have a seat.

It's a dominance thing. I'd rather **** her face and show her who's boss then just sit there.

[Legend of Josh]

So I was at a bar yesterday and hooked up with a drunk chick. We went to the back room and she offered me a HJ, of course i tried to talk her into a BJ, she didn't want to and ended up leaving because she got pissed(see what i did there).
I mean why the hell would I want a Handjob i could do that myself too

So in other words, you'd suck your own cawk (if you could). That's basically what you just said going by your logic.

Personally, I love to just kick back naked on my couch, my girl get down on her knees in front of me, KY hands feelin' like jelly... and well, you know the rest.

Would this be my preference hooking up with a chick for a single night or some backroom adventure? No, obviously, but there's value in a woman who is masterful with her hands.

Who knows dude, you could have possibly missed out on one hell of an experience. That hanky jay oh bee might have been a diamond in the rough.

I don't keep track, not like I have a spreadsheet that's updated periodically LOL, but some of my best times have been by the work of a woman's hands, and not always her mouf or cooter (or butt). Sometimes the best hole, isn't a hole at all.

Me, personally, I seem to unload a beast load from a single sitting handy, compared to some of the best sex of my life. The same can be said by many men... I think there's something to this.

[Legend of Josh]

After one chick vomited on my dck I'm trying to avoid that. I'm satisfied with HJ now.

Sounds like you need some valtrex (sp?). Just go back to the drawing board. Get you some proactive, the "for your *****" brand, and try again. If another chick regurgitates on your shit, you might as well just get used to it, or else blow your head off (the one that supports your shoulders).

A man's life without a woman's lips on his dick, is a life not worth living.

[LeFraud James]

It's a dominance thing. I'd rather **** her face and show her who's boss then just sit there.

This doesn't apply to your blow up doll Vishal.

Go back in your hole, everyone knows you don't get any play from women.

[Hazard]

Me, personally, I seem to unload a beast load from a single sitting handy, compared to some of the best sex of my life. The same can be said by many men... I think there's something to this.
I'll vouch for that. When it does get me off, the load is monterous. For some reason it works mostly in the morning, grab her hand put it on my junk and she would go to work. At night I want to occupy a hole, no idea why that is.

[-p.tiddy-]

What's the point of Handjobs

http://a35.idata.over-blog.com/4/01/91/61/champagne.gif

[Quickening]

I agree that girls are generally awful at handjobs.... don't apply enough pressure, and poor wrist action.

But as others have said, it may have led to a bj.

[Hazard]

I agree that girls are generally awful at handjobs.... don't apply enough pressure, and poor wrist action.

But as others have said, it may have led to a bj.
Some girls are amazing though. I had one chick who used her whole arm to pump and squeezed hard as hell. Sick. Another girl brought out a completely foreign technique, where she would lick her hand then flip it over and grab it backwards. That shit felt almost as good as a blowjob. Cant understand why anyone would ever turn down a handjob.

[Gunnin4HoLeS]

Maybe hes not circumcized? I can tell you from experience that when your not circumcized and you leave it to the hands of an amaeteur (pun intented) it can be a pretty painful/annoying experience. Start feeling like a teacher tryning to teach Delinquents. Just cant get that sh!t right.

[Legend of Josh]

I'll vouch for that. When it does get me off, the load is monterous. For some reason it works mostly in the morning, grab her hand put it on my junk and she would go to work. At night I want to occupy a hole, no idea why that is.

I'm the exact way. Climbing on top of your woman just as you rise (literally, LOL) for some of that "the best part of waking up!" is just fine (and it damn sure ain't no Folgers in your cup, more like some semen soldiers in her butt LOL).

A good morning hello sweetie pounding of her anus + creampie is terrific, but before you even get ^ to piss, let her clean the pipes of that beast, which already feels like you're having a viagra hangover. AM loads are typically that of higher volume, and since she's about to get a shower anyway ...

Here's what you do ... let her fap you just around 3rd base, then don't be a dumbass and 'ask' if you can 'waste on her face' you take over the controls, YOU perform the fap-finish homerun like a man and you TELL her to open wide, close her eyes, no where to run no where to hide, just her face, your dick, and a mammoth surprise.

[L.Kizzle]

Maybe hes not circumcized? I can tell you from experience that when your not circumcized and you leave it to the hands of an amaeteur (pun intented) it can be a pretty painful/annoying experience. Start feeling like a teacher tryning to teach Delinquents. Just cant get that sh!t right.
Thank goodness I'm circumcized. Would have to have a dick that looked like a yam.

[Hazard]

and it damn sure ain't no Folgers in your cup, more like some semen soldiers in her butt LOL
:roll: :roll: classic

[L.Kizzle]

:oldlol: You think any dick looks good?
Mine looks cool.

No yam here.

[Legend of Josh]

:roll: :roll: classic

"A grotesque fart, taking slut... blows older bukkake ducks."

[ZeN]

Circumcised looks way better than uncircumcised to me.
So homo..??...

[Meticode]

The best part of waking up, is semen in your butt!

[Hazard]

"A grotesque fart, taking slut... blows older bukkake ducks."
You lost me on that one haha

[LA_Showtime]

I think most chicks are bad at blowjobs, not handjobs. Doesn't really matter to me though. I get off just from having a chick on her knees blowing me. Doesn't matter if she sucks. :oldlol:

[Legend of Josh]

Nah, maybe I'm just biased, I like mine. The first time I saw an uncircumcised dick I was like:wtf: I still blew em though.

There's this rumor floating around out there that Macho Man Randy Savage, his muff, smell like cabbage. Is it true? I hadn't got a clue. One's things foo shoe dough, the Ultimate Warrior touch his no-no - private area. He was scary brugh. He doo-doo in his pants, get up spin in circles and do a rain dance. Later that day, he get high and drunk, the 'ultimate' price he had to pay, he wrecked his pickup truck. He die.

In hell, he saw Ultimate Warrior again face to face, only this time, he was a skeleton on fire *****... he couldn't put the flames out... reverse amazing grace.

[Legend of Josh]

:oldlol: You think any dick looks good?

I bet you like a caveman's cawk. You probably watch porn, like xnxx.com or something, and you enjoy seeing those curved banana dongs... you sick bi-curious dong licker.

:lol

[Legend of Josh]

http://www3.picturepush.com/photo/a/5851361/1024/Picture-Box/Ultimate-Warrior-Logo.jpg

Warrior is a man of God

So you're saying Ultimate Warrior > Macho Man?

[Gunnin4HoLeS]

Nah, maybe I'm just biased, I like mine. The first time I saw an uncircumcised dick I was like:wtf: I still blew em though.
lol wtf. Well anyways i cant say its better since ive never been circumsized but all i know is our sensitivity is preserved i would think. ive gotten some bj's where i was just like wow :applause: made me want to :cry: from the joy i felt.

[RaininTwos]

Thank goodness I'm circumcized. Would have to have a dick that looked like a yam.
I'm confused....how does a circumcised dick look like a yam?????

[AlexanderRight]

I find sort of like trying to tickle yourself. You can't really. Jerking it is a bit different because you can still get yourself off, but to me it feels way better when it's an unfamiliar female's hand, not my own. And then of course it could lead to a BJ.

Try sitting on your hand until it goes numb then jerking yourself off. I call it "The Stranger", and so does Dave Chappelle.

:roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll:

[The Iron Sheik]

There's this rumor floating around out there that Macho Man Randy Savage, his muff, smell like cabbage. Is it true? I hadn't got a clue. One's things foo shoe dough, the Ultimate Warrior touch his no-no - private area. He was scary brugh. He doo-doo in his pants, get up spin in circles and do a rain dance. Later that day, he get high and drunk, the 'ultimate' price he had to pay, he wrecked his pickup truck. He die.

In hell, he saw Ultimate Warrior again face to face, only this time, he was a skeleton on fire *****... he couldn't put the flames out... reverse amazing grace.

Ootimo varriar is a fakking FAHgut!! He vant to suck my TEN EENCH COKH!

If vee verk, I vill blreak his back, I vill fakk his ass ehnd I vill make him... HAMBLE!!!

[baseketball4life]

lmao at OP. guarentee he would have gotten BJ unless he's completely retarded once she started the HJ. offering a HJ was her way of trying to not seem slutty, obvy she was going to suck you off once she started.