fell for a girl with a boyfriend

[Quizno]

all right i don't think i've ever posted a thread about my personal life on ISH before and judging from the other ones i'm not expecting great results, but here goes :oldlol:

so i'm 19 and i met this girl at college. we met about a year ago in calc and we've been talking ever since. we would study together a lot but never really hung out after school. we took another calc class last semester but couldn't get any together this semester.

problem is, when i met her she had been with her boyfriend for 5 years and it's been 6 now. i'm not the kind of guy to try to swoop in and break up a relationship so i won't do that. the thing about her boyfriend though is that the guy is honestly a complete douche bag. he doesn't go to school, doesn't work and he got kicked out of his house because he kept doing drugs. on top of that he's like 6 feet and weighs maybe 120 pounds and he's a ginger dude with many freckles. i feel like this should automatically disqualify him from being with a girl ever.

he's also insanely jealous and controlling over her. he forced her to take me off facebook and doesn't allow her to study with male friends. she complains about him to me sometimes and said his jealousy is just crazy.

so last monday i told her how i felt. i basically told her i thought she was really cute and i really liked her. she took it well and was smiling the entire time but right when she was gonna start talking her bio group came to study, bad timing. she texted me and told me she wanted to meet up to get coffee on campus today.

so we meet up this morning and we had a talk. she told me she thought i was cute and funny and smart and if the circumstances were different and she didn't have a boyfriend then it might work. but she said she didn't plan on breaking up with her boyfriend anytime soon. then she was like but if i did break up with him it would take a while to get over him.

so wtf do i do? i wish she would have just straight up rejected me and said she didn't like me at all and couldn't feel that way about me but she's kind of stringing me along. she told me she wants to hang out and said she'll be in the library a lot more and that she'll hit me up when she's studying and also asked me to take physics with her next semester. so she's kinda leading me on here. should i not hang out with her and just try to get over her and move on or should i be her friend and be there for her if she and her boyfriend break up? it sounds like she'd give me a shot if they did break up.

i could use some advice but you mother ****ers will not read this :no:

[LBJMVP]

friend zoned. nothing you can do.

[AirTupac]

http://www.gifsforum.com/images/gif/did%20not%20read/grand/Tupac-Didnt-Read1.gif

http://www.gifsforum.com/images/gif/did%20not%20read/grand/87542.gif

http://www.gifsforum.com/images/gif/did%20not%20read/grand/fgreg89.gif

http://www.gifsforum.com/images/gif/did%20not%20read/grand/6yN6Z.gif

[macmac]

Don't worry I've been in this situation before, this is what you do...

You kidnap the boyfriend and force him into some really raunchy gay sex....suck on his balls, have him *** on your face, take him from behind and film the whole thing...then, you send her the footage and laugh at him and tell her what a f@g he is....boom you're in the clear, she drops him for sure and you can work your magic

[LeFraud James]

Pics or you're making this all up to steal slayerenraged's thunder. :no:

[heyhey]

Lol y u hating on the ginger? He's prolly getting it in with the chick while u r complaining about this on ISH.

I thinkt u either wait it out and hope to break out the friendZone if she needs someone in the future or u can jus **** things up by playing up the gingers jealousy side

Definitely tough station but u are 19 and in college... There are girls everywhere

[Flagrant 2]

http://i.qkme.me/6p3p.jpg

[Quizno]

Don't worry I've been in this situation before, this is what you do...

You kidnap the boyfriend and force him into some really raunchy gay sex....suck on his balls, have him *** on your face, take him from behind and film the whole thing...then, you send her the footage and laugh at him and tell her what a f@g he is....boom you're in the clear, she drops him for sure and you can work your magic
this is a pretty good plan but i'm not sure if i could get him to ***. but still that would expose him for sure


Or message her boyfriend and say you f*cked her but feel bad about it so you had to come clean.

:oldlol: yeah if macmac's plan doesn't work i guess i'll have to go with this one


Pics or you're making this all up to steal slayerenraged's thunder.

honestly i prolly would if i could but remember her boyfriend took me off her facebook, not much i can do


Lol y u hating on the ginger? He's prolly getting it in with the chick while u r complaining about this on ISH.

I thinkt u either wait it out and hope to break out the friendZone if she needs someone in the future or u can jus **** things up by playing up the gingers jealousy side

Definitely tough station but u are 19 and in college... There are girls everywhere

yeah there are girls everywhere and i've hooked up with some but i haven't actually fallen for a girl since like sophomore year of high school so it's tough

[MJ(Mean John)]

all right i don't think i've ever posted a thread about my personal life on ISH before and judging from the other ones i'm not expecting great results, but here goes :oldlol:

so i'm 19 and i met this girl at college. we met about a year ago in calc and we've been talking ever since. we would study together a lot but never really hung out after school. we took another calc class last semester but couldn't get any together this semester.

problem is, when i met her she had been with her boyfriend for 5 years and it's been 6 now. i'm not the kind of guy to try to swoop in and break up a relationship so i won't do that. the thing about her boyfriend though is that the guy is honestly a complete douche bag. he doesn't go to school, doesn't work and he got kicked out of his house because he kept doing drugs. on top of that he's like 6 feet and weighs maybe 120 pounds and he's a ginger dude with many freckles. i feel like this should automatically disqualify him from being with a girl ever.

he's also insanely jealous and controlling over her. he forced her to take me off facebook and doesn't allow her to study with male friends. she complains about him to me sometimes and said his jealousy is just crazy.

so last monday i told her how i felt. i basically told her i thought she was really cute and i really liked her. she took it well and was smiling the entire time but right when she was gonna start talking her bio group came to study, bad timing. she texted me and told me she wanted to meet up to get coffee on campus today.

so we meet up this morning and we had a talk. she told me she thought i was cute and funny and smart and if the circumstances were different and she didn't have a boyfriend then it might work. but she said she didn't plan on breaking up with her boyfriend anytime soon. then she was like but if i did break up with him it would take a while to get over him.

so wtf do i do? i wish she would have just straight up rejected me and said she didn't like me at all and couldn't feel that way about me but she's kind of stringing me along. she told me she wants to hang out and said she'll be in the library a lot more and that she'll hit me up when she's studying and also asked me to take physics with her next semester. so she's kinda leading me on here. should i not hang out with her and just try to get over her and move on or should i be her friend and be there for her if she and her boyfriend break up? it sounds like she'd give me a shot if they did break up.

i could use some advice but you mother ****ers will not read this :no:


I read your post man. I couldnt really get a real good grip on it, because I kept relating to my situation.

Basically, I was somewhat in your shoes, a little different. It was better in some aspects, worse in others.

My advice.. Do your thing.
Don't allow yourself to become attached. Stay on your grind. Finish school, keep yourself busy. If it was meant to be, it will find a way. If its not the right time, accept it. You're young.

Trust me, this can get ugly. You are jumping or starting into something that hasnt finished it's last course.

A broken heart.. That shit is real my boy. Sure, you cant prove or put a cast on a "broken" heart, but that shit is real pain.


I'm going through some shit with my last girl. **** man. The pain I feel, day in and day out. Shits horrible.
I almost wish i never got myself in this mess.
I hate her so much.. I want to throw her off of the highest and biggest mountain. But I love her so much that I'll die trying to save her.

I have too much pride to hit her up. To see her. I miss her with all my heart.

Enough about my shit.

Stay away man. Bounce. Stay on YOUR PATH. If she crosses it, then she'll cross it. Don't force it. Don't put yourself in a vulnerable position. Shit sucks man.


I'm soon to be 22 yrs old. I'm a good looking dude, about to graduate college and Have a car, a full time job, making $21/ hour.

I mean. I cannot get this girl out of my mind.

I'm telling you this, so you avoid it. Shit is so hard because she is STILL with this dude. The fact that you are going to try and fight for her affection and attention will cause problems down the line.

If you be you, play your role and DONT CATCH FEELINGS. If she bounces on dude and is over him. THEN START FRESH. But treat her right man. DO NOT **** up. As stupid as this sounds man, stay faithful. Do not cheat on her man, treat her bad. Treat her right. IF IT GOES THAT WAY.

In the mean time, do you. don't allow the thought of you and her to corrupt your thoughts. Be a man, be mindFULL, self aware and play your position.

Love is a bitch. (Coming from a motherfukcer who didnt believe in love)

**** man.

[Quizno]

damn, thanks for the post MJ(Mean John). yeah i'm gonna keep myself busy, i work 35 hours/week and i'm taking tough classes so i always have stuff to do. hope everything works out on your end

[Legends66NBA7]

Well from what I can gather, Quizno, is that she seems reliant to be with a guy who got the “bad boy” image going on. She either seems:

1) Wanting to desperately make her current relationship work out long with her boyfriend. If what you described is correct, than damn, how much more can she tolerate to keep it going?

2) This guy might be suicidal if she tries to break up with him, because he does seem to live a bizarre and unhealthy lifestyle. Got kicked out, does drugs, seems below weight for height, and poor ethics... and if his girlfriend of 5-6 years dumps, who know what this guy could do to other and himself, you feel me ?

Now, it’s good to see that you two will at least will hang out for coffee, be at the library, or whatever extracurricular activities, but this could also lead into a future confrontation with the boyfriend, in which case you’re going to have to stand up for yourself if things do get physical.

I think these feels like a lose-lose, unless your more willing to go out and prove more in your meeting with her that your really into her. However, it seems you might know her too well yet to try and do that, since... if she’s been this guy for so long and knows what his problems are, then why does she stay with him? Could it be that he’s possibly suicidal? Or she’s grown attached to someone and she can’t seem separated without him, no matter how strange the relationship is? She might be keeping things from you as well, which may hurt you (in terms off, she’s not who you “thought” she was...).

You are best to seek other options or stay single, since you’re still very young and it’s college life, right?

I don’t think you can go wrong either way, but it seems like a scenario you may have to step up and take more risks. You can choose not to do that, either. It might sound lame, but you guys can still be friends, for what it’s worth. But if you want more, be yourself and give it your best shots (again sounds lame, but go for it...)

Hope this helps...

[Draz]

she's been with him for years she's used. she's interested in a pothead druggie shows her type of guys, to top it off shes leading you on and she's leading you. not sure if she's horny?

[bdreason]

Man up and take her. She's opening the door, but you gotta sack up. Just make sure the first time you hit it, you hit it real good, or she'll go right back to him.

[Scholar]

I'd stay away simply because she has already shown you that she's the flirtatious type. If she is willing to even talk to a guy in privacy about a possible relationship after 6 years of dating another dude, it just seems like she isn't trustworthy. :confusedshrug: Who is to say she won't leave you later for someone else who is just "studying" with her?

Your choice if you decide to waste time in pursuing a relationship with her or not. I wouldn't in your place.

[Quizno]

[QUOTE=Legends66NBA7]Well from what I can gather, Quizno, is that she seems reliant to be with a guy who got the

[Quizno]

I'd stay away simply because she has already shown you that she's the flirtatious type. If she is willing to even talk to a guy in privacy about a possible relationship after 6 years of dating another dude, it just seems like she isn't trustworthy. :confusedshrug: Who is to say she won't leave you later for someone else who is just "studying" with her?

Your choice if you decide to waste time in pursuing a relationship with her or not. I wouldn't in your place.
she wasn't really talking to me about a possible relationship. she just told me she already had a boyfriend but if the circumstances were different then we might work out. i think she was being more considerate than shady.

[Quizno]

Is she your age? She been with this dude since she was like 14 15? Shit probably won't last, people change, get sick of each other.
yeah she's my age. she's been with him since i think 8th grade and we're both sophomores in college.

[DeuceWallaces]

You just have to continually remind her that her boy is a loser. If she doesn't catch on then you need to move on. It's her loss not yours if the guy truly is how you depict him.

[Lebron23]

Just date a younger version of that girl. Does she have a younger sister?

[Quizno]

You just have to continually remind her that her boy is a loser. If she doesn't catch on then you need to move on. It's her loss not yours if the guy truly is how you depict him.
yeah i take subliminal shots at him sometimes and she always agrees. and yeah, i didn't make a conscious effort to put him in a negative light, i'm just going off of what she's told me.



Just date a younger version of that girl. Does she have a younger sister?
yeah...she's 13. ripe for the picking.

[Draz]

Just make sure if you DO end up messing with her & her 120 pound 6 ft boyfriend goes ape shit on you, your going to have to show him what's up before he does.

[skan72]

I'm falling for a girl while I have a girlfriend... Uh-oh. I'm ****ed.

If you really like her, persist for awhile, but don't hang it all on her. There are so many girls out there. It doesn't seem like it some of the time, maybe it doesn't seem like it right now at all, but there will be other girls out there you find attractive and will like. Like I said, though, if you really like this girl, persist for awhile, see where it goes. IF it doesn't go anywhere, move on.

[Quizno]

Just make sure if you DO end up messing with her & her 120 pound 6 ft boyfriend goes ape shit on you, your going to have to show him what's up before he does.
i wouldn't do anything with her while she has a boyfriend but if she does break up with him and we get together i wouldn't be worried. a strong wind could blow him away honestly lol


If you really like her, persist for awhile, but don't hang it all on her. There are so many girls out there. It doesn't seem like it some of the time, maybe it doesn't seem like it right now at all, but there will be other girls out there you find attractive and will like. Like I said, though, if you really like this girl, persist for awhile, see where it goes. IF it doesn't go anywhere, move on.

yeah i know there are lots of girls out there. it's just hard because the last time i fell hard over a girl was like 4 years ago. and this girl seems so perfect, but you're right, i'll definitely keep my options open. good luck with your girl issues

[ROCSteady]

Ah, the White Knight syndrome.

Sucks you've fallen for her in those circumstances but it sounds like she likes you for her personal academic gain as well.

Also sucks that she's with a loser, I know that makes you feel even worse and want to be more proactive about your advances.

I guess the Ginger is giving her that pasty pipe quite well

[Knicks101]

Just move on, one girl isn't worth the time or effort. There's plenty of other women out there who are the same as her.

[NuggetsFan]

First off props to buddy. He's probably slaying her best friend as your trying to weasel your way in. Clearly not working to well or else you wouldn't be making a thread on ISH. I'd say just make a f*cking move and if it doesn't go your way cut your losses.

In reality she's gave you your answer. Clearly she likes buddy regardless of how you want to pretend he is. Make a move, be her friend, just move on. Pretty simple. Guess you can just pretend like he's the big bag monster on insidehoops and talk yourself up into having a coffee with her. Don't really see the point tho.

[NuggetsFan]

You just have to continually remind her that her boy is a loser. If she doesn't catch on then you need to move on. It's her loss not yours if the guy truly is how you depict him.

lol like that works. Her boyfriend can be the biggest douche bag in the world but telling her that won't do shit. Generally girls like douche bags and you being little miss raggedy anne ain't going to do shit.

[LJJ]

I know girls can give mixed signals sometimes, because girls just like to be liked. So they'll say shit like "if the situation was different...", but you have to disregard shit like that entirely.

But I wouldn't say this is "leading you on":


she told me she thought i was cute and funny and smart and if the circumstances were different and she didn't have a boyfriend then it might work. but she said she didn't plan on breaking up with her boyfriend anytime soon. then she was like but if i did break up with him it would take a while to get over him.

So she told you she has a boyfriend AND that if she breaks up with him she still doesn't have any interest in you. That is essentially what she said. It's time to move on.

[bagelred]

Is her boyfriend "suicidal"? Ya see what I'm saying? :pimp:

[Skywalker]

what are you hiding about the guy? cuz if he's actually like that and she's still attached then why would you want her

[Nick Young]

She's stringing you along as her ego-boost bitch she complains to. You will never get out of the friendzone going down this path.

The only way to get out of friendzone is stop hanging out with her and talking to her, for a long time, work on yourself, hit the gym, improve in your career or studies, and wait for her to recontact you.

Then when she does she'll see how much you changed and improved and wont think of you as her ego boost gay best friend but as a legit sexual option.

[Jailblazers7]

I'm in a somewhat similar situation but all I plan on doing is continuing to have fun flirting with her and then go out and try to get with other girls. Don't fool yourself into waiting for a girl just because you have some puppy love feelings.

Also, don't text her anymore. You are just leading yourself on by doing that.

[I<3NBA]

So she told you she has a boyfriend AND that if she breaks up with him she still doesn't have any interest in you. That is essentially what she said. It's time to move on.
:applause:

truth man. you've been rejected. you just don't know it yet. she was just too nice to tell you straight up. just forget her and find someone else. bitches like her exist. they use guys like you as an ego trip. they like feeling wanted but do not really want guys like you who want them. they just enjoy the feeling of being wanted.

if she is really with a loser, then shouldn't you be laughing at her for staying with the loser? don't lose your self respect man and go after this girl. find someone else better. someone single. and someone interested in you. WHO DOES NOT STRING YOU ALONG.

there are how many billion of people in the world? i'm sure you'll find someone, somewhere that'll make you forget this girl. also, trust me, at your age, you shouldn't be thinking about being tied down. you should be thinking about trying get laid as many times as possible with as many girls as possible. look for relationships when you're 30.

forget this girl. stop seeing this girl. date others. don't get attached. keep on dating others.

[StroShow4]

This is kind of similar to how I met my girlfriend. She wasn't with another guy at the time, but I was all about her and she was all about this other dude. They got together, I remained friends with her, she realized I am better than him, now she is with me.


It can work... just be better than that other guy.

[mlh1981]

I remember when I was in college, my buddy has a Super Bowl party one year, and his roommate's girlfriend and I seemed to have this instant spark/attraction. She added me on fb and we would chat every so often about random things. It then got to the point where she started talking about deeper issues, such as major problems she had with her boyfriend, etc. She then finally admitted she liked me. I was single at the time, but I was getting ready to move, so figured there wasn't any point of pursuing anything.

Soon thereafter, she became single, but I lived 4 hours away, and was seeing someone, so our timing never worked out quite right. Oh well. I'm happy now, and life moves on.

[ILLsmak]

You should drop the hammer on her. Go nuclear and tell her everything that is wrong with her, her boyfriend, and her relationship.

Or message her boyfriend and say you f*cked her but feel bad about it so you had to come clean.



You're not getting her no matter what so f*ck some shit up.

Damn *****... lolol

For me, I'd just stop talking to her. Move on.

Edit: Let me clarify. You want to be hanging out with people ESPECIALLY girls who know what they want. Who can make a decision an stick with it. You never want to be with someone wishy washy like this girl because she will **** with your head. If her bf is a douche and she's still with him, but she's using you as a friend, then you need to tell her to go suck a ****. Girls aren't stupid; you know she knew you liked her even before you told her.

She's a bitch. Don't feel sorry for girls who put up with guy's bullshit. They are obviously getting something out of it, too.

That's why they have the term "Captain save a ho." If she is going to pull some "maybe later" shit on you, you just need to drop off the map.

-Smak

[EricGordon23]

Challenge him to a joust bro. Everyone knows gingers can't joust.

[JerrySteakhouse]

This may help you: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HYs5QkAbEUQ

Especially the last verse.

[StroShow4]

Challenge him to a joust bro.

:oldlol:

[Lebron23]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sI5LWwC-cE8

[Derka]

Her taste in men is horrible and this isn't going to suddenly change because you're a decent guy. Sucks to say, but you gotta look elsewhere and don't bog yourself down over this one...contrary to what the movies say, she's not going to be anything more than a friend for you.

[Balla_Status]

I'd say move on.

[RidonKs]

it's never as easy as just moving on, especially when there's still a glimmer of hope... and she definitely left that out there for you, whether it was genuine or just leading you on to feed her ego.

but given the length of the relationship, your odds stink. best idea is to start flirting like a maniac and hope you find somebody else with which to occupy your mind. otherwise you'll just keep daydreaming and masturb@ting and generally driving yourself nuts.

dilly of a pickle though, i feel for ya

[D-Rose]

Been in a similar situation before, and all I can say is that if she doesn't want it, then you have to move on. Maybe avoid the study sessions and texting now as well until you're completely over her. Hang out with other girls, etc..whatever ya need. If she obliged, it'd be a totally different story but for her and ultimately, your happiness, moving on is the best!

[sick_brah07]

Been on both sides of this situation and both ways it ended badly, my conclusion is if a girl is questioning her boyfriend and needs to get away from him to chill with you she will inevitably cheat on her boyfriend wether it is with you or some other random. As stupid as it sounds you will regret later on not banging her because you will realize she ain't as great as you once assumed.

So my advice bang her before you become that "close friend" that she comes crying to once she actually ends up cheating on her boyfriend

[Patrick Chewing]

If she refuses to break up with him, and then on top of that tells you that it would take a while to get over him, then she is not worth your troubles my man. She, as many girls do, embraces this new-found attention, but at the end of the day, you are a friend and nothing more to her. She will always see you as a friend, and there won't be some crazy miracle that will happen one day where she wakes up and realizes you were the one for her all along.

You guys are both very young right now and you really don't know shit about what each other wants at this point in life.

My advice would be to stay away from her and get your mind off of her. The more you do, and the more you get involved with other things, the easier it will be for you.

[sick_brah07]

:oldlol: I think that's the part he's having a problem with.
:oldlol: sorry what i ment was DO ANYTHING it takes to bang her and forget trying to explain how you feel because nothing will come of it i have tried to many times lol

[sick_brah07]

Gettin a rapey vibe from this. I dig.


i've said way to much:oldlol:

[skan72]

i wouldn't do anything with her while she has a boyfriend but if she does break up with him and we get together i wouldn't be worried. a strong wind could blow him away honestly lol



yeah i know there are lots of girls out there. it's just hard because the last time i fell hard over a girl was like 4 years ago. and this girl seems so perfect, but you're right, i'll definitely keep my options open. good luck with your girl issues

Thanks brotha :applause: You too

[Riddler]

she told me she wants to hang out and said she'll be in the library a lot more and that she'll hit me up when she's studying and also asked me to take physics with her next semester.



So... just wait until next semester.

Obviously you should move on... but stay in contact with this chick.

I bet they're broken up after the summertime.

[Meticode]

Gettin' in from airport, you gettin' in from the study group, the only missin' at this point is bonafide chillin' time with you.

WZRD

[sick_brah07]

I read your post man. I couldnt really get a real good grip on it, because I kept relating to my situation.

Basically, I was somewhat in your shoes, a little different. It was better in some aspects, worse in others.

My advice.. Do your thing.
Don't allow yourself to become attached. Stay on your grind. Finish school, keep yourself busy. If it was meant to be, it will find a way. If its not the right time, accept it. You're young.

Trust me, this can get ugly. You are jumping or starting into something that hasnt finished it's last course.

A broken heart.. That shit is real my boy. Sure, you cant prove or put a cast on a "broken" heart, but that shit is real pain.


I'm going through some shit with my last girl. **** man. The pain I feel, day in and day out. Shits horrible.
I almost wish i never got myself in this mess.
I hate her so much.. I want to throw her off of the highest and biggest mountain. But I love her so much that I'll die trying to save her.

I have too much pride to hit her up. To see her. I miss her with all my heart.

Enough about my shit.

Stay away man. Bounce. Stay on YOUR PATH. If she crosses it, then she'll cross it. Don't force it. Don't put yourself in a vulnerable position. Shit sucks man.


I'm soon to be 22 yrs old. I'm a good looking dude, about to graduate college and Have a car, a full time job, making $21/ hour.

I mean. I cannot get this girl out of my mind.

I'm telling you this, so you avoid it. Shit is so hard because she is STILL with this dude. The fact that you are going to try and fight for her affection and attention will cause problems down the line.

If you be you, play your role and DONT CATCH FEELINGS. If she bounces on dude and is over him. THEN START FRESH. But treat her right man. DO NOT **** up. As stupid as this sounds man, stay faithful. Do not cheat on her man, treat her bad. Treat her right. IF IT GOES THAT WAY.

In the mean time, do you. don't allow the thought of you and her to corrupt your thoughts. Be a man, be mindFULL, self aware and play your position.

Love is a bitch. (Coming from a motherfukcer who didnt believe in love)

**** man.


God damn, it's like you seen in my mind and just typed it up. The shit happened to me..... Pretty much everything you said crosses my mind on a daily or weekly basis


The sad part is loving someone is a bitch that's for sure

[imdaman99]

you are just feeding her ego as her bf brings it down. she is gonna use the fact that you like her when she is arguing with her bf, but guess what she will 99% of the time go back to him. she might just use you to hear her out as well. but you gotta let her go man. you already said you don't fall for girls all the time, i am totally different. but you are young, there are plenty more females in your future so don't sweat it.

[PHX_Phan]

I think the best thing you can do is just move on. Don't study with her, talk to her, hang out with her, nothing. You don't shut her out overnight, but gradually part ways and make it known that you're not interested in maintaining just a friendship with someone who you have strong feelings for. If she likes you, then she'll make an attempt at keeping you in her life, but if not then you know that it was never going to work out.

I know this is hard. You're young, you figure you still have a chance and you don't want to ruin it by giving her the cold shoulder. But, sometimes it needs to be done, and the time you're wasting trying to get her could be used towards a girl who is available and into you. There are plenty more fish in the sea and I can just about guarantee that you'll feel the same way about another girl in the future.

[rufuspaul]

Do you know any good looking gay dudes? If so introduce her to one of them so he can be her bff.

^^
Advice I wish I had been given when I was your age.

[drallafi]

I read your post man. I couldnt really get a real good grip on it, because I kept relating to my situation.

Basically, I was somewhat in your shoes, a little different. It was better in some aspects, worse in others.

My advice.. Do your thing.
Don't allow yourself to become attached. Stay on your grind. Finish school, keep yourself busy. If it was meant to be, it will find a way. If its not the right time, accept it. You're young.

Trust me, this can get ugly. You are jumping or starting into something that hasnt finished it's last course.

A broken heart.. That shit is real my boy. Sure, you cant prove or put a cast on a "broken" heart, but that shit is real pain.


I'm going through some shit with my last girl. **** man. The pain I feel, day in and day out. Shits horrible.
I almost wish i never got myself in this mess.
I hate her so much.. I want to throw her off of the highest and biggest mountain. But I love her so much that I'll die trying to save her.

I have too much pride to hit her up. To see her. I miss her with all my heart.

Enough about my shit.

Stay away man. Bounce. Stay on YOUR PATH. If she crosses it, then she'll cross it. Don't force it. Don't put yourself in a vulnerable position. Shit sucks man.


I'm soon to be 22 yrs old. I'm a good looking dude, about to graduate college and Have a car, a full time job, making $21/ hour.

I mean. I cannot get this girl out of my mind.

I'm telling you this, so you avoid it. Shit is so hard because she is STILL with this dude. The fact that you are going to try and fight for her affection and attention will cause problems down the line.

If you be you, play your role and DONT CATCH FEELINGS. If she bounces on dude and is over him. THEN START FRESH. But treat her right man. DO NOT **** up. As stupid as this sounds man, stay faithful. Do not cheat on her man, treat her bad. Treat her right. IF IT GOES THAT WAY.

In the mean time, do you. don't allow the thought of you and her to corrupt your thoughts. Be a man, be mindFULL, self aware and play your position.

Love is a bitch. (Coming from a motherfukcer who didnt believe in love)

**** man.

Damn this is some real spit. I co-sign each and every word of this post.

I went through the same thing in college. Met my girl in calc class just like you, and she was dating some dude on the football team. We fell hard for each other, even though she wasn't done w/ him. Spent the next 3 years trying to work it out w/ her and went through some of the lowest lows a man can know.

Do *not* underestimate the pain of a broken heart.

Like dude said, you're setting yourself up for pain here. You're young, do you. Walk away.

[G-train]

You need to step back and find another lady son.
Win win. 1. You got a lady and 2. she will be jealous and want you.

[Quizno]

damnnnn i really appreciate some of the advice (and the guys who said to just **** her, nice). a little update, she recently sent me a text saying:

"You're a great guy Travis and any girl would be so lucky to be with you. Sorry for everything and sorry if I made an ass out of myself by saying dumb stuff cause of my nerves."

so basically this is either a legit compliment or 100% friend zone lol. i just said "thanks, and you don't have to be sorry for anything"

i think what i'm going to do is back off and i'll only hang out/study with her if she asks me first, i don't think i should be the one to hit her up. also not gonna text her but we didn't text all that much anyway. but when we do hang out at school or study or whatever i think i'm gonna be a little more flirty, like ask her if she wants to go see a movie or go out to dinner. also i don't think i've mentioned this before but i think it's pretty important: she and her boyfriend have broken up twice before and gotten back together. i don't think it's unreasonable to think that even though it's been a 6 and a half year relationship they could break up again, and when that happens ya boy may just be in the back of her head :oldlol:

and to the people who are saying to get with another girl to make her jealous, i've kind of been seeing this other girl for a few days. i've actually known her for a while and we had a thing over summer but we're basically friends with benefits. if the girl i like had me on facebook she might get jealous but her boyfriend took me off :oldlol:

so basically i'm just gonna do me for a while and if something does happen or she really is into me she'll hit me up and let me know. in the meantime i'll keep my options open

i liked the jousting advice though. i guess if all else fails i'll fall back on that lol

[Quizno]

Do you know any good looking gay dudes? If so introduce her to one of them so he can be her bff.

^^
Advice I wish I had been given when I was your age.
only you but you're all the way in north carolina :(

[skan72]

only you but you're all the way in north carolina :(

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wXw6znXPfy4

[barito]

This is pretty much a lose lose situation. If she had gone out with her boyfriend for a short time then maybe things would be easier, but since they have been together for a couple of years it will take time for her to get over him regardless of how much of a douche he is. This means if you get with her after the fact you will pretty much just be a temporary rebound.Which in most cases is cool, if you just want to eat it and beat it, but if you want something serious with her that is the reality. The fact of the matter is, is that the "bad guy" always wins in these situations. A girl will always go back to someone they felt comfort, or love for especially after so much time regardless of how much F'ed things a dude has done to them. Many girls can't tell the difference between attachment, and love which clearly is shown in her case(according to what you have stated). My advice stay away, you'll end up being hurt in the long run. College has wayyy to many ladies to choose from.

[ElPigto]

damnnnn i really appreciate some of the advice (and the guys who said to just **** her, nice). a little update, she recently sent me a text saying:

"You're a great guy Travis and any girl would be so lucky to be with you. Sorry for everything and sorry if I made an ass out of myself by saying dumb stuff cause of my nerves."


Typical BS line. **** this bitch, seriously. Girl is just going to use you bro. What I recommend you do is not play her stupid game. I've been caught in that shit before and that bitch seriously ****ed me later.

[PHX_Phan]

so basically i'm just gonna do me for a while and if something does happen or she really is into me she'll hit me up and let me know. in the meantime i'll keep my options open

Good choice. You already made your feelings known, so the ball is in her court. If she wants you around, then she'll reach out to you.

[Kobe 4 The Win]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v78/IpreferKeaton/meme1.jpg

[L.Kizzle]

This shit seems to only work in pornos, but fck it. Pull your dick out and see what happens.

[Meticode]

How many times have you tried that to no avail?
I would assume 0 because someone who posts on a basketball forum about which suit they should wear definitely doesn't have a pen!s.

[L.Kizzle]

I would assume 0 because someone who posts on a basketball forum about which suit they should wear definitely doesn't have a pen!s.
Oh no he didn't.

[dkmwise]

At this point she knows you're a nice guy and knows how you feel about her. If you keep hanging around and being her friend then she'll be content to keep you in friend zone because you are in her life and she's not worried about losing you even if you're not dating. If you want to just be friends then stay friends. If you still want somethign more then just dip away for a while. Don't be rude to her or anything just go do your thing and don't contact her. If she contacts you don't be rude but don't respond right away and just give her very short resposes. After a while of this she'll come to you.

[pauk]

http://lh4.ggpht.com/-FAtlli6Zt4M/Tv3CrgpAy0I/AAAAAAAAuvY/eG3-hBcRihA/friend-zone-job-4%25255B2%25255D.jpg

[Kebab Stall]

I always notice when these kind of threads come up, that, "...the boyfriend is a complete douche..." or something along those lines, is a common occurrence.

Makes me chuckle.

[rufuspaul]

only you but you're all the way in north carolina :(

:oldlol:



i've kind of been seeing this other girl for a few days. i've actually known her for a while and we had a thing over summer but we're basically friends with benefits.


Ah those were the days. The best thing that can happen to a busy college student is to have a friend with benefits.

[Quizno]

I always notice when these kind of threads come up, that, "...the boyfriend is a complete douche..." or something along those lines, is a common occurrence.

Makes me chuckle.
lol probably a biased point of view but this dude is a lame

update for anyone who cares: she texted me asking if i ever go to the rec center at school. i told her i go a couple of times every week and she asked me to join a cycling class with her so we'll be doing that on wednesday. playing these love games (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sRWVJ3AeFAk) man

[Nick Young]

lol probably a biased point of view but this dude is a lame

update for anyone who cares: she texted me asking if i ever go to the rec center at school. i told her i go a couple of times every week and she asked me to join a cycling class with her so we'll be doing that on wednesday. playing these love games (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sRWVJ3AeFAk) mandont give in to her bullshit, dont be fooled, all you are for her now is an ego boost.

If you want to get her eventually, and this isnt a sure thing, cut contact with her and start improving your game and getting other girls, wait a few months for her to come back to you, and for her to suggest a meetup, then she'll see the new you and your game will be tight so you won't get stuck in friend zone again.

But even this is extremely difficult. I have only gotten out of friendzone once in my life and by the time i did and the girl was interested I didnt even want her anymore

[Quizno]

dont give in to her bullshit, dont be fooled, all you are for her now is an ego boost.

If you want to get her eventually, and this isnt a sure thing, cut contact with her and start improving your game and getting other girls, wait a few months for her to come back to you, and for her to suggest a meetup, then she'll see the new you and your game will be tight so you won't get stuck in friend zone again.

But even this is extremely difficult. I have only gotten out of friendzone once in my life and by the time i did and the girl was interested I didnt even want her anymore
yeah this is good advice but i'm weakkkk. i'mma go this one time and see if she's acting any differently or trying to scope me out to see if i'm better than her boyfriend. if there's nothing really there i'm definitely gonna cut off contact, i feel like the only way to really get her to notice me in that way is to see how things are when i'm never around anymore

[Nick Young]

yeah this is good advice but i'm weakkkk. i'mma go this one time and see if she's acting any differently or trying to scope me out to see if i'm better than her boyfriend. if there's nothing really there i'm definitely gonna cut off contact, i feel like the only way to really get her to notice me in that way is to see how things are when i'm never around anymore
Are you not a man? The man should always lead. Instead she's leading you around like a little bitch puppy and at her slightest whim you delude yourself into thinking she will suddenly make the first move like she's prince charming and you're a disney princess.

I know this because I've been there myself, much of my 13th and 14th years of life were spent in your current shoes.

But instead of endlessly repeating the process I learned to recognize it and not get myself into that situation in the first place. Again speaking from experience, I only put girls on pedestals like this when I am on a month+dry streak, then as soon as I tap something else the previous ***** worship disappears.

Also if you were getting with other babes you would not have put her ***** so high up on that pedestal. You need to go out with your boys and meet some new girls.

CUT HER OFF.

[Jasper]

dont give in to her bullshit, dont be fooled, all you are for her now is an ego boost.

If you want to get her eventually, and this isnt a sure thing, cut contact with her and start improving your game and getting other girls, wait a few months for her to come back to you, and for her to suggest a meetup, then she'll see the new you and your game will be tight so you won't get stuck in friend zone again.

But even this is extremely difficult. I have only gotten out of friendzone once in my life and by the time i did and the girl was interested I didnt even want her anymore
Nice Young :rockon: (Quizno - lik I said before play the field , if she wants it to happen she will seek you... maybe sooner than later )

But :


yeah this is good advice but i'm weakkkk. i'mma go this one time and see if she's acting any differently or trying to scope me out to see if i'm better than her boyfriend. if there's nothing really there i'm definitely gonna cut off contact, i feel like the only way to really get her to notice me in that way is to see how things are when i'm never around anymore

Not so fast Quizo :
Take the spinning class , get some good workouts , this sounds lik she wants to own you , but I actually think she is feeling her way out of her current relationship.

Chicks think differently , and sometimes it's harder for them to let a squeeze go , but if the candy looks better on the other side of the fence , you might get more than you hoped for...
Like a real relationship with her. (nothing to loss except weight in a spinning class, she might want to go slow and see how it develop's)
:D

[sick_brah07]

Are you not a man? The man should always lead. Instead she's leading you around like a little bitch puppy and at her slightest whim you delude yourself into thinking she will suddenly make the first move like she's prince charming and you're a disney princess.

I know this because I've been there myself, much of my 13th and 14th years of life were spent in your current shoes.

But instead of endlessly repeating the process I learned to recognize it and not get myself into that situation in the first place. Again speaking from experience, I only put girls on pedestals like this when I am on a month+dry streak, then as soon as I tap something else the previous ***** worship disappears.

Also if you were getting with other babes you would not have put her ***** so high up on that pedestal. You need to go out with your boys and meet some new girls.

CUT HER OFF.

wait you were having GF issues at 13 and 14 years of age lol? :pimp:

[Crown&Coke]

yeah this is good advice but i'm weakkkk. i'mma go this one time and see if she's acting any differently or trying to scope me out to see if i'm better than her boyfriend. if there's nothing really there i'm definitely gonna cut off contact, i feel like the only way to really get her to notice me in that way is to see how things are when i'm never around anymore

on the real, its the honest truth when people say "nice guys finish last" in terms of dealing with girls... I've been there man, your best bet is either stay friendzoned (which it seems you are doing) and be her friend..... or just let her alone and wait for her to come back, and when that happens you can't be some super nice guy she walks all over

Im no chick magnet, but I've learned through experience that girls like the guy who will be a dick and still gets what he wants, its some weird thing and a majority of girls have it

[LJJ]

wait you were having GF issues at 13 and 14 years of age lol? :pimp:

Swagfather's been wailing on bitches since the early dawn bro.

Everybody knows he lost his virginity at age eleven to a 22 year old super model

[AirTupac]

Nick actually giving good advice

[Geriatric]

yeah this is good advice but i'm weakkkk. i'mma go this one time and see if she's acting any differently or trying to scope me out to see if i'm better than her boyfriend. if there's nothing really there i'm definitely gonna cut off contact, i feel like the only way to really get her to notice me in that way is to see how things are when i'm never around anymore


My advice would be to stop making yourself so damn available. Have other stuff to do when she calls or texts wanting you to do something. You don't have to do it everytime if you aren't comfortable pulling back too far, but at least make it known you aren't sitting around waiting for her to call. I'd cancel on the spinning class sometime late Tuesday (not too late to seem like an inconsiderate douchebag yourself) and tell her you've got a date (and for God's sake, try to make one). Tell her to let you know how the class went and you'll see if you can make one at a later date.

If she gives you any shit about blowing her off, just tell her your dick makes decisions for you sometimes and he pulled rank on this one.

You don't give her the opportunity to miss you if you are always there when she wants you. Don't be her ego's security blanket.

And I'm just curious about one more thing. Please, please, please for the love of all that's unholy, tell me you are taking the physics class because its a requirement anyway and not some class you are taking because she wants you to. I can think of about a billion and twelve other things I'd rather burden myself with during my college years than an unneccesary physics class.

Keep your head straight and good luck man.

[ElPigto]

lol probably a biased point of view but this dude is a lame

update for anyone who cares: she texted me asking if i ever go to the rec center at school. i told her i go a couple of times every week and she asked me to join a cycling class with her so we'll be doing that on wednesday. playing these love games (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sRWVJ3AeFAk) man

You aren't playing any love games son, instead you are getting played. Seems like you are going to be her girlfriend, since she needs someone to go do something with her. You usually do that kind of shit with girls that are already your gf, not with someone you are trying to talk to.

I feel for you man, I know you think this shit will help you out, but you are just pushing yourself further from her. If you want to be her girlfriend, then fine go do this dumb class with her, but if you really want to **** her, then say you got other shit to do. Don't give in so easily.

[JerrySteakhouse]

Just google "BD - Boyfriend Destroyer"

You're welcome.

[d.bball.guy]

http://lh4.ggpht.com/-FAtlli6Zt4M/Tv3CrgpAy0I/AAAAAAAAuvY/eG3-hBcRihA/friend-zone-job-4%25255B2%25255D.jpg
Bu...bu..but my girlfriend broke up with me so she can be with her bestfriend :(

[Chrono90]

Forget her. She's basically keeping you along in case she breaks up. Or she might just want to bang you on the side.

Forget her and move on.