Clueless Commentary

[Grinder]

In this thread we post stupid/clueless/WTF comments we hear on TV by commentators. Youtube clips are great if available:

I'll start off:


Clippers/Rockets game
Mike Smith and Ralph Lawler talk about how good the Spanish league is....and then proceed to say it's the best league outside of the NBA after the CHINESE LEAGUE. :coleman:

[LamarOdom]

Raptors commentary said Bargnani is a unstoppable beast.

Rockets commentary said Scola is as good as Gasol and Dirk.

[Grinder]

Rockets commentary said Scola is as good as Gasol and Dirk.


That was Clyde Drexler. :roll:

When Bill Walton was doing a Kings/Magic game this year, he called Chris Duhon an "outstanding player"...."When you've got him as your backup point guard, you're doing something right".

[Killbot]

I like some of Heinsohn's comments on TV, but when he compared Stiemsma to Bill Russell....that's....I don't know what he was smoking.

[SpecialQue]

In this thread we post stupid/clueless/WTF comments we hear on TV by commentators. Youtube clips are great if available:

I'll start off:


Clippers/Rockets game
Mike Smith and Ralph Lawler talk about how good the Spanish league is....and then proceed to say it's the best league outside of the NBA after the CHINESE LEAGUE. :coleman:

Mike Smith is a treasure trove of stupidity. His "finest" moment was when Blake did a layup and he compared it to Michael Jordan.

[Al Thornton]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3L73TpDpeuA

"excellent defensive play by chris paul"

[outbreak]

This isn't from this season, but espn here ran a highlights show of the top 100 most disrespectful plays. Vince Carter was on it getting a dunk blocked or something and the commentary said he has never been known for dunking and should stick to jump shots as that's what he's known for. This was in his Toronto days

[Stern]

Whatever garbage Celtics and Bulls announcers say during the game.

[LamarOdom]

This isn't from this season, but espn here ran a highlights show of the top 100 most disrespectful plays. Vince Carter was on it getting a dunk blocked or something and the commentary said he has never been known for dunking and should stick to jump shots as that's what he's known for. This was in his Toronto days

We have a winner!

[SpecialQue]

During a Spurs vs Timberwolves games, they were playing in Minny and the crowd started an MVP chant for Kevin Love. One of the snide Spurs announcers said something to the extent that "they're doing that for just about everyone now." This was during THIS season.

[Ancient Legend]

Mike Breen getting disgusted at anything resembling a hard foul, flagrant or even swear words.

[stephanieg]

There hasn't been as much of this since Jackson left.

http://courtsideanalyst.wordpress.com/2011/05/18/mark-jacksons-bizarre-but-awesome-comment-and-kevin-durants-backpack/

2009 playoffs Game 3 of the Portland-Houston series:

Mark and JVG were discussing the Rockets picking Yao Ming at #1 and JVG said it was "revisionist history" to say it was obvious he would be number one. Mark had no clue what that word meant.

[Ancient Legend]

Drexler is the dumbest analyst I've heard. The Celtics Heinsohn and the Blazers announcers wear the most insane homer glasses on their broadcasts. My favorites are the the Suns guys, they always praise the other team, sometimes a bit too much.

[niko]

Some of the out of town announcers talk like they've never seen any team play but their own. And their own players are all future HOF guys. THe boston announcers mention Bill Russell talking about Steinsma.

[Hammertime]

The Clippers

It was a home game against the Hornets a few weeks ago and I think it may or may not have gone to OT. The point is that the Clippers hit a shot to tie the game(a freaking layup, so no doubt that it was a 2) with about 10 second left and one of the guys kept talking throughout the timeout about who the Clippers should foul and what they should do after they get the ball back. It took a couple of minutes for the other guy to go "Uhh, I think the game is tied. There's absolutely no need to foul." Then there was an awkward 5 second silence, and then they just started talking about something else.

[Rnbizzle]

There's something similar to this on NBA.com, you can find it in the Hang-Time blog, they show like 5 clips every time of terrible commentating, I found it quite amusing.. I'll get a link.

[StroShow4]

Hornets commentators, a few days ago:

"The T-Wolves need to put a more productive big man next to Kevin Love."

"If Love is outside and he misses they aren't getting the rebound."


...and Nikola Pekovic had just posted 21/11 on 9-13 against the Hornets in their previous match up.




:facepalm

[Scholar]

Okay, this one isn't so much stupid as it is annoying.

Ever since Spike Lee made that Kobe Bryant documentary in '09, there's a Lakers commentator who always says, "Kobe going to work" or "Kobe doing work." It was cool the first few times after the documentary, but now 3 years later, it's like:

http://files.joshmadison.com/espn-naked-man.jpg

without the nude athlete.

[Rake2204]

I remember Dick Stockton struggling mightily in 1996 to get Brent Barry's name right. Here's a glimpse: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Y1rLfDhZ2A

Ends with the classic toin coss.

[Celtics 1825]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nl4lgDWeZdk&feature=related

"A little bump from Billups" seriously??? :facepalm

[Punpun]

Every single phrase uttered by J dickhead Van Gundy.

[brantonli]

Drexler got alright last season, and now every single syllable he says is either redundant or downright idiotic. Watch any local Rockets game (home, he doesn't do away games) and you'll know what I mean.

Just an example, he once used the phrase 'easy as clubbing baby seals' on live broadcast, and said that Scola was on a similar tier as Wade and Bryant (or something equally ridiculous like that).

[outbreak]

Every single phrase uttered by J dickhead Van Gundy.

seriously? I like JFG commentary, at least he calls it as he sees it and doesn't fold to the higher ups in the NBA and act like the games perfect. I prefer him to bland commentary.

[Solid Snake]

Anything ever uttered by that braindead Clyde Drexler.

[Troutfisch]

Anything ever uttered by that braindead Clyde Drexler.
Lots of love for Clyde the Glide here, but at least ISH isn't dragging Bill Worrell down with him! :D

[Xiao Yao You]

Ron Boone calling Brevin Knight BrevRin. Finally one game someone must have told him because he made an effort to say Brevin a few times and it was just too difficult for him so he just went back to BrevRin for the whole year. Amazing that a guy that has such a hard time getting his thoughts into words has been a commentator for as long as him.

[ChrisPosh]

"HAND DOWN.. MAN DOWN.. MOMMA DERE GO DAT MAYUNN"


\
wat dose it even mean?!? and y u bringin my momma into it

[EoJ]

The Clippers

It was a home game against the Hornets a few weeks ago and I think it may or may not have gone to OT. The point is that the Clippers hit a shot to tie the game(a freaking layup, so no doubt that it was a 2) with about 10 second left and one of the guys kept talking throughout the timeout about who the Clippers should foul and what they should do after they get the ball back. It took a couple of minutes for the other guy to go "Uhh, I think the game is tied. There's absolutely no need to foul." Then there was an awkward 5 second silence, and then they just started talking about something else.
ya i remember that. i was like :wtf:

[ImmortalNemesis]

Drexler got alright last season, and now every single syllable he says is either redundant or downright idiotic. Watch any local Rockets game (home, he doesn't do away games) and you'll know what I mean.

Just an example, he once used the phrase 'easy as clubbing baby seals' on live broadcast, and said that Scola was on a similar tier as Wade and Bryant (or something equally ridiculous like that).

Here's the video (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JJ1MTsLHjTk)

:oldlol: Clyde is unintentionally funny. He's alright. Drexler is always saying stupid shit and Bill Worrell is always getting mad at him. They're perfect!

Edit: I forgot but why was Nocioni guarding Yao?

[atljonesbro]

Bob Rathbun for the Hawks said James Harden looks like he should be on the front of a cough drops box.

I love Bob but i have no ****ing clue what he's talking about LOL

[ImmortalNemesis]

Clyde doesn't know he's on the air. "Get the ball down low to Yao, shit!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hoaMdc8qGho

[Grinder]

Clippers play tonight so I'm sure we're bound to get more gems from Ralph and Mike.

[Yung D-Will]

After Boozer was traded some commentator was speaking about the defensive toughness he brings to the bulls :biggums:

[Grinder]

Tommy Heinsohn is rare form right now, going berserk over the foul calls in the OT of the Celtics-Hawks game. :roll:

Commentary doesn't get much funnier than this.

[Al Thornton]

mike smith compared westbrook to michael jordan

[zay_24]

Every single phrase uttered by J dickhead Van Gundy.
:biggums:

[StroShow4]

Tommy Heinsohn is rare form right now, going berserk over the foul calls in the OT of the Celtics-Hawks game. :roll:

Commentary doesn't get much funnier than this.

That was amazing. I hope it appears on Youtube.

[Maestro33]

It was either Wayne Larrivee or Johnny Red Kerr but...

"Theres nothing like two big men banging each other,"

And from Red...

"If David Benoit is pronounced BEN-WHAT is Detroit pronounced DEE-****?"

[RaininTwos]

Bob Rathbun for the Hawks said James Harden looks like he should be on the front of a cough drops box.

I love Bob but i have no ****ing clue what he's talking about LOL
what does that even mean???

[Grinder]

That was amazing. I hope it appears on Youtube.

Crank up the volume: http://youtu.be/-DlL8vmBb9Y?t=1m40s

:oldlol:

[Rockets(T-mac)]

Crank up the volume: http://youtu.be/-DlL8vmBb9Y?t=1m40s

:oldlol: :oldlol: How can your homer glasses be that thick?

And I remember one time the other commentary (not Heinsohn) was giving the other team a complement or saying that one of the celtics flopped, and Heinsohn is like "who's side are you on?" :oldlol:

[SpecialQue]

Crank up the volume: http://youtu.be/-DlL8vmBb9Y?t=1m40s

:oldlol:

Goddamn. He sounds like he's ready to go down there and deck one of the refs Red-style.

[Grinder]

Bump for playoff gems.

[chips93]

When Bill Walton was doing a Kings/Magic game this year, he called Chris Duhon an "outstanding player"...."When you've got him as your backup point guard, you're doing something right".

freedarko had some great walton quotes in their book


If Eric Piatkowski continues playing at this level, he's going to replace Jerry West on the NBA logo.


Yesterday we celebrated Sir Isaac Newton's discovery of gravity, today, Fabricio Oberto is defying it


You look at Vladimir Radmanovic, this guy is cut from stone. It's as if Michelangelo were reading and a lightning bolt flashed before him


John Stockton is one of the true marvels, not just in basketball , or in America, but in the history of Western Civilization!


The only man who can stop Cliff Robinson IS Cliff Robinson. The man is unstoppable, even at 38.

:roll:

[Toizumi]

Bill ****ing Walton! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z1YI06ZTNOk)

:bowdown: Not really commentary.. but this is just epic

[Toizumi]

What a pass!! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jtz-3PB3enY&feature=related) :oldlol:

[PTstyle272]

Bob Rathbun for the Hawks said James Harden looks like he should be on the front of a cough drops box.

I love Bob but i have no ****ing clue what he's talking about LOL


Maybe thats his way of saying he did something "sick"

Idunno

[UK-NJ]

Bill ****ing Walton! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z1YI06ZTNOk)

:bowdown: Not really commentary.. but this is just epic
:bowdown: Bill Walton has come out with some classics. That video reminded me of this assessment he made on Boris Diaw...

www.youtube.com/watch?v=6KkrccHEAqg

'When I look at Boris Diaw, I think of Beethoven & the age of the romantics.' :roll:

[bsyde82]

More subtle, but just as asinine:

Breen (picking on him because I remember him doing it recently, and because I hate his guts) calling it "unselfish" when a player fastbreaking with nobody in front of him passes it off to another player for a dunk. Basically an unnecessary assist.

I remember Breen praising Westbrook for doing this, calling it an "unselfish play", failing to understand that assists are stats too, and Westbrook needs all the assist padding he can get as a PG who gets flak for not passing the ball. No hate on Westbrook here, but just hate that kind of superficial analysis by ABC's "top guy" that goes unchecked.

[Punpun]

Yeah. I saw that a lot during Durant run for the scoring title this year. It was always "unselfish play" etc. Which is hilarious. As it benefited both Durant and him. :oldlol:

[InspiredLebowski]

I'm gonna assume the Chinese League comment was a joke since that's where K-Mart was. I hope so anyway.

[Grinder]

Not clueless, but still funny:
During the Nets-Warriors game, the Nets color guy (not Fratello) said, "The only thing prettier than Stephen Curry's jumper is his mom Sonya". :lol


He ain't lying though.

http://www.wiihotties.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/sonya_curry2.jpg

Also, Bill Walton is calling the Kings game right now = pure comedy.

"I dont want a 6-inch, I want a 12-inch from Demarcus Cousins." -Bill Walton. :wtf:

[Just2McFly]

Bill wants that BBC!:roll:

[Clutch]

Not clueless, but still funny:
During the Nets-Warriors game, the Nets color guy (not Fratello) said, "The only thing prettier than Stephen Curry's jumper is his mom Sonya". :lol


He ain't lying though.

http://www.wiihotties.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/sonya_curry2.jpg

Also, Bill Walton is calling the Kings game right now = pure comedy.

"I dont want a 6-inch, I want a 12-inch from Demarcus Cousins." -Bill Walton. :wtf:
:roll: :roll: :roll: