Girl Dilemma

[FatComputerNerd]

Ok...true story

First, my background: 36 years old, no kids, never been married.

And I digress:

About a month ago I "met" a girl on facebook. She is from my home town and we had many mutual friends, so somehow became friends. We got to chatting, and one thing sort of led to another emotionally.

Meanwhile she already had a trip planned to visit here (her hometown) for a job offer, and wanted to meet me in person while here.

She had some other stuff to take care of, and had to spend some time with her family that are here too, but we pretty much spent 4 or 5 days straight together.

She was offered the job, and is planning on moving here in a month or two at most, and we are "in a relationship".


.
.
.



Then, as luck would have it, the day she leaves town I am contacted on Facebook by my first love. :banghead: The girl I was in love with when I was sixteen, who is pretty much "the one that got away". She has been chatting up a storm with me on both Facebook and the cell ever since, often on a romantic level.


I am totally confused, and am feeling guilty for talking to the one that got away like I am, when I am supposed to be in a relationship with the first girl who is moving back here. :confusedshrug:


I know most of you here are a good bit younger than I am, and haven't had to deal with these types of situations, but any advice would be more than appreciated, because I don't know wtf to do!!!

[kNIOKAS]

Post pics, we gonna decide which one you have to go for.

[FatComputerNerd]

Post pics, we gonna decide which one you have to go for.


Let's just say both are beyond beautiful and leave it at that.

Not posting their pics in case this thread somehow comes back to bite me in the @$$ IRL lol.

[niko]

You're not married to either girl, you haven't been physical with the one you are "dating" and you are just talking to the one who got away. See how things develop with BOTH of them before considering making a decision about either of them. Me and my "one who got away" were good friends for a while and i still had warm fuzzies for her and i was married. I pursued nothing and nothing came of it, my point being i clearly was not in a relationship with her, and i was further along than you.

You are sweating on what to do about two girls, neither of which you are married to and one of which you don't even have.

[Scholar]

You're 36 and don't know how to spell dilemma? :kobe:



Who are you leaning towards more? Which of these two women has piqued your interest the most?
What was the reason why the first love left your life for so long?

These are really important questions you should ask yourself.

[FatComputerNerd]

You're not married to either girl, you haven't been physical with the one you are "dating" and you are just talking to the one who got away. See how things develop with BOTH of them before considering making a decision about either of them. Me and my "one who got away" were good friends for a while and i still had warm fuzzies for her and i was married. I pursued nothing and nothing came of it, my point being i clearly was not in a relationship with her, and i was further along than you.

You are sweating on what to do about two girls, neither of which you are married to and one of which you don't even have.

Thanks.

But the thing is, the one I am dating I HAVE been physical with...for 4-5 days in a row, as I mentioned. Part of why she wants to move back here is to be with me.

I could have either one it seems. The one who got away has pretty much asked me to come "take her away".

Overall I think your advise is sound though, about just seeing what develops, since I'm not married to either of them.

[Styles p]

go with the one that got away. since you probably always regretted letting her get away in the first place.

[Crown&Coke]

you shouldn't be guilty for talking with the one that got away. Even if you are fapping to her profile picture, there is really nothing to be ashamed of (just don't go around town telling people that you are fapping to her pic, that would be bad)

I think you should really stick with the new one. For no other reason but she was first in line. If you mess that up, hopefully the one that got away doesn't find out you put her on the back burner for another girl. That would ruin any future chance if the current one doesn't work out.

seems like you got two good options. Don't fvck them both up.

I really wanna know how the one that got away hit you up the second the first chick bounced. That is far too convenient for my liking. If she saw you around town with the new one, then def stay with the new one. Because the one that got away is probably trolling you if thats the case. Women are heinous like that sometimes.

[FatComputerNerd]

You're 36 and don't know how to spell dilemma? :kobe:

haha thanks, fixed :oldlol:




Who are you leaning towards more? Which of these two women has piqued your interest the most?

That's just it, I'm not sure. I'm interested in both of them, and to make things more difficult, they are very similar, and both share many interests with me.


What was the reason why the first love left your life for so long?

Her family moved away when we were sixteen'ish to a different state, and we lost touch eventually around college years.

[niko]

Thanks.

But the thing is, the one I am dating I HAVE been physical with...for 4-5 days in a row, as I mentioned. Part of why she wants to move back here is to be with me.

I could have either one it seems. The one who got away has pretty much asked me to come "take her away".

Overall I think your advise is sound though, about just seeing what develops, since I'm not married to either of them.
Ahh, add to my advice to be nice to the one you brought in then if you dump her. Remember too sometimes the "one that got away" you remember in context of what you were, not what you are, My one that got away is beautiful and such but she also is single, at age 40 and will always be and i'm married playing with my kids and totally loving it. You tend to forget the now sometimes.

[FatComputerNerd]

I really wanna know how the one that got away hit you up the second the first chick bounced. That is far too convenient for my liking. If she saw you around town with the new one, then def stay with the new one. Because the one that got away is probably trolling you if thats the case. Women are heinous like that sometimes.


The one that got away is in a different state, and it was actually me who initially tried to contact her on facebook via a family member months back. I couldn't find her since she was using a different name, and finally a family member of hers who I knew passed along the message. Complete coincidence that she finally got the message when she did and then contacted me.

[FatComputerNerd]

Ahh, add to my advice to be nice to the one you brought in then if you dump her. Remember too sometimes the "one that got away" you remember in context of what you were, not what you are, My one that got away is beautiful and such but she also is single, at age 40 and will always be and i'm married playing with my kids and totally loving it. You tend to forget the now sometimes.

I hear ya.

Both have been married and divorced and have kids.

I believe that at my age I can no longer let the kid thing be a factor though.

[kNIOKAS]

ok drop the current one, pick that one who got away, post pics of the current one. I mean, you have to post pics of the one you didn't choose, k'?

[FatComputerNerd]

ok drop the current one, pick that one who got away, post pics of the current one. I mean, you have to post pics of the one you didn't choose, k'?

I think this will not be an overnight decision :banghead: :facepalm :confusedshrug:




I have a hard time choosing between two pairs of shoes...

[intrinsic]

The one who got away has pretty much asked me to come "take her away".



You're setting yourself up to take a fall structuring this like a fairy tale.

[FatComputerNerd]

The one who got away has pretty much asked me to come "take her away"


You're setting yourself up to take a fall structuring this like a fairy tale.

Not sure what you mean.

She didn't use those exact words, but seems very open to the idea of a relationship.

[Raz]

Is there anyway you can visit the one that got away, and lie to the other one and say you're out of town on business?

You should at least see if there is some physical chemistry there. Also, are either of them divorced? Either of them have kids hanging around? It'd be good to know some history on them. Baggage sucks.

[millwad]

I'd go for the new one, my "the one that got away" almost ruined my relationship to my fiancee who is the most beautiful, loving, intelligent and kind person I've ever met.

I got nostalgic and I was stupid and I basically cheated on my fiancee for the "one that got away", I had fingers inside her but while kissing her but I didn't go any further, I got the biggest reality check of my life..

[intrinsic]

Not sure what you mean.

She didn't use those exact words, but seems very open to the idea of a relationship.

Niko touched on it earlier, you're remembering the person, as they were, 20 years ago. The one that got away. Now the opportunity presents itself to "take her away" Relax. Don't stress yourself so much with unnecessary expectations for a relationship.

Instead of looking at this as a major point of conflict in your life, think about it another way. You've increased your pool of women by 1 with the newgirl.

[Raz]

You've increased your pool of women by 1 with the newgirl.

http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c11/miabiboy_14/SatisfiedDanceLupeFiasco.gif

[millwad]

http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c11/miabiboy_14/SatisfiedDanceLupeFiasco.gif

http://a0.twimg.com/profile_images/2297339679/ipx6s1agv79lphq3dzxz.jpeg

[FatComputerNerd]

Thanks for the replies.

Between this and the Vino I feel slightly more relaxed :D

[Raz]

http://a0.twimg.com/profile_images/2297339679/ipx6s1agv79lphq3dzxz.jpeg

Yes?

I could post a bunch of pictures of myself below, and I could post pics of girls I have been with in the past. I'm not sure what your point is. I can't post a picture of a black guy dancing? I didn't even know who it was until I clicked on the google image.

[millwad]

Yes?

I could post a bunch of pictures of myself below, and I could post pics of girls I have been with in the past. I'm not sure what your point is. I can't post a picture of a black guy dancing? I didn't even know who it was until I clicked on the google image.

There was no point, just random.

And no, don't be insecure, don't post pics of your women.

[Raz]

http://a0.twimg.com/profile_images/2297339679/ipx6s1agv79lphq3dzxz.jpeg

Feel free to post more pictures:
http://i.imgur.com/uWioM.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/2c8TO.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/MsCxm.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/oVAAn.jpg

[Raz]

There was no point, just random.

And no, don't be insecure, don't post pics of your women.

Not insecure, just not sure what sort of reply it was. If I had a big smile on my face with a thumbs up, that would work.

I just realised my lady has the same top on in both pics - it was the same day in Thailand! On the boat over to Maya Beach

[millwad]

Feel free to post more pictures:
http://i.imgur.com/MxppR.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/uWioM.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/2c8TO.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/MsCxm.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/8EANa.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/h3kaH.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/Zpm0Z.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/Ca2Uw.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/oVAAn.jpg

Post them hot girls instead, that one girl had a huge nose and the other was not hot.. :no:

Cute Orangutan though!

[Raz]

Post them hot girls instead, that one girl had a huge nose and the other was not hot.. :no:

Cute Orangutan though!

Though it was difficult, I looked past the big nose, see that cleavage! Yeah, the other girl went with my bud - they were both Irish, explains the looks.

[millwad]

Though it was difficult, I looked past the big nose, see that cleavage! Yeah, the other girl went with my bud - they were both Irish, explains the looks.

I hope that the Orangutan was a chick because in that case, she would be the hottest.

But hey, girls are girls and ***** is *****.

I miss *****, my girlfriend is back home in Sweden and I won't meet her for months. Panic.

[Raz]

I hope that the Orangutan was a chick because in that case, she would be the hottest.

But hey, girls are girls and ***** is *****.

I miss *****, my girlfriend is back home in Sweden and I won't meet her for months. Panic.



My woman for life! :cheers:

BTW, I did long distance for a year last year, she came out to NZ twice, and man, it's tough. Good luck with it

[FatComputerNerd]

Stop hijacking my thread!!!

TERRORISTSSTS!!!!

[millwad]

Stop hijacking my thread!!!

TERRORISTSSTS!!!!

You're a fat computer-nerd, I don't listen to fat computer-nerds.

I think you suck because you're considering to hook up with the "one who got away", that crap was 20 years ago.

[Raz]

Stop hijacking my thread!!!

TERRORISTSSTS!!!!

Sorry bro!

Like I said, go away for the weekend, nail the old flame, if it's good, work with it, if not, you have this new chick. You're not officially dating after 5 days, you are not in a real committed relationship.

[imdaman99]

2 women, 2 options. its a good problem to have, as long as u dont pull some zack morris type shit and go out on a date with them at the same restaurant :lol niko's already touched base, you aren't married to either. don't drop the L word and just play the field. it's normal nowadays.

but if you're not that type (i know i'm not), than weigh your options. raz already said to spend time with the one that got away. if there is crazy chemistry still there... than you gotta do your soul searching.

i almost had the one that got away break up a relationship i was in 4 yrs back... i wish she had. cuz that shit was a mess anyways :oldlol:

[johndeeregreen]

If you are actually a fat computer nerd you should be embracing this situation, not stressing over it. Chances are exponentially low that you will experience this kind of phenomenon again in your life. Additionally, as another poster said, live in the present, not the illusion of what you thought you wanted 20 years ago. I have got together with girls that I thought I wanted years ago and it was nothing like I anticipated/hoped it would be.

[Rnbizzle]

'The one who got away' is probable not all that, at least she's not all you think she is. I've been there, you makes these girls perfect in your mind because you can't get with them, usually it turns out they are not as perfect as you thought. If the girl you're with right now is cool and fun, and you actually really like her, I'd stick with her and let the other one go.

[FatComputerNerd]

Thanks guys, for all the advices. :cheers:

[FatComputerNerd]

If you are actually a fat computer nerd you should be embracing this situation, not stressing over it. Chances are exponentially low that you will experience this kind of phenomenon again in your life. Additionally, as another poster said, live in the present, not the illusion of what you thought you wanted 20 years ago. I have got together with girls that I thought I wanted years ago and it was nothing like I anticipated/hoped it would be.

I'm not really fat.

I'm 5'8 and around 145 lols.

[FatComputerNerd]

but if you're not that type (i know i'm not), than weigh your options. raz already said to spend time with the one that got away. if there is crazy chemistry still there... than you gotta do your soul searching.


That's the problem...there is CRAZY chemistry w/ the one that got away.

But also with the new one.....

[Bucket_Nakedz]

go with the new girl. its been 20 years since you talked with that old flame, and youve already said your technically in a relationship with the one who is moving to your town. if your first love is hotter - investigate. she if she has kids or any baggage. idk, but these are good problem, bruh. just dont be a dick and hurt either of em.

[niko]

My woman for life! :cheers:

BTW, I did long distance for a year last year, she came out to NZ twice, and man, it's tough. Good luck with it
We did a year too. I used to play soccer to pass the time, I was ****ing pele after a while.

[B-Low]

My vote would have to be for the new girl too. I think you definitely need closure with the ex...so if you have to hang out some and close things off in a more official manner with her, go for it. But people always say, your ex is your ex for a reason. Everything is better in retrospect so hell, you might just see this "crazy chemistry" with the ex because you can't get the good times out of your head, but those good times were 20 years ago. It's hard to stay legitimately objective, and most importantly its hard to be fair to the new girl, when the other girl has all these fond memories that she's established with you clouding your judgement.

You said you and the new girl were talking on FB a lot. Were you communicating publicly or thru chat? Cuz that could make a huge difference in how legit everything with the ex is. When a girl sees or hears that her ex is into a new girl, she WILL try to reestablish herself whether she wants to be with the guy or not. Even if a girl doesn't want her ex, she doesn't wanna see anyone else "taking her spot" either. So shit she might just be hittin you up now because she found out you had someone new.

Either way though, you made a commitment to this new girl now. Again, your ex is your ex for a reason and you managed to go the past 20 years of your life without her being there. She had 20 years to get back in touch with you and never did. It's the new girl's turn and you owe it to you and yourself to give her a try. Old girl is the "one that got away"...well the new girl might be the one you never let get away.

[FatComputerNerd]

My vote would have to be for the new girl too. I think you definitely need closure with the ex...so if you have to hang out some and close things off in a more official manner with her, go for it. But people always say, your ex is your ex for a reason. Everything is better in retrospect so hell, you might just see this "crazy chemistry" with the ex because you can't get the good times out of your head, but those good times were 20 years ago. It's hard to stay legitimately objective, and most importantly its hard to be fair to the new girl, when the other girl has all these fond memories that she's established with you clouding your judgement.

You said you and the new girl were talking on FB a lot. Were you communicating publicly or thru chat? Cuz that could make a huge difference in how legit everything with the ex is. When a girl sees or hears that her ex is into a new girl, she WILL try to reestablish herself whether she wants to be with the guy or not. Even if a girl doesn't want her ex, she doesn't wanna see anyone else "taking her spot" either. So shit she might just be hittin you up now because she found out you had someone new.

Either way though, you made a commitment to this new girl now. Again, your ex is your ex for a reason and you managed to go the past 20 years of your life without her being there. She had 20 years to get back in touch with you and never did. It's the new girl's turn and you owe it to you and yourself to give her a try. Old girl is the "one that got away"...well the new girl might be the one you never let get away.


You have given out too much Reputation in the last 24 hours, try again later.


Thx :cheers:

Just got off the phone w/ the "new girl".

She should be here within a month or so...

[B-Low]

Go for it, for real.

The direct chance never really came up to get back with an ex, but i spent 2 years passing up girl after girl because me and my ex were still talking/hanging out. I kept thinking "the fact that we're still this close means the magic is still there". But it wasn't. I was passing up getting to know all these great girls because I wanted to be able to relive the glory days (college) that I spent with my ex. But in the end things never got pieced back together for us. We stayed friends and the love and memories will never die, but in the end we decided to just go our separate ways and both move on. But all those girls I could have gotten to know within those two years were with somebody else by then, and all it does is litter your life with question marks and "what ifs?"

There's a couple ways you can go with it

1. Pass on the ex and get to know the new girl, and you'll always be able to look back and say a) how your relationship with the ex went, and b) why things didn't work out with the ex

or

1. Pass on the new girl and get back with the ex. Difference is you'll never have anything to look back on, you'll never have any answers, and you'll never know if things would have worked out.

[FatComputerNerd]

:D

I suppose a guy could have worse problems to have to deal with. I should probably be counting my blessings.

[FatComputerNerd]

Oh Sh*t

now the two of them are facebook friends, lol.

[shoops]

Oh Sh*t

now the two of them are facebook friends, lol.
:biggums:

[Bucket_Nakedz]

Oh Sh*t

now the two of them are facebook friends, lol.
good, hopefully they can cooperate and join you in a menage e trois

[B-Low]

Who requested who?

If it was the ex that requested the new girl that completely confirms what I was saying about her just being jealous that a new girl is in the picture :oldlol:

[JerrySteakhouse]

Ok...true story

First, my background: 36 years old, no kids, never been married.

And I digress:

About a month ago I "met" a girl on facebook. She is from my home town and we had many mutual friends, so somehow became friends. We got to chatting, and one thing sort of led to another emotionally.

Meanwhile she already had a trip planned to visit here (her hometown) for a job offer, and wanted to meet me in person while here.

She had some other stuff to take care of, and had to spend some time with her family that are here too, but we pretty much spent 4 or 5 days straight together.

She was offered the job, and is planning on moving here in a month or two at most, and we are "in a relationship".


.
.
.



Then, as luck would have it, the day she leaves town I am contacted on Facebook by my first love. :banghead: The girl I was in love with when I was sixteen, who is pretty much "the one that got away". She has been chatting up a storm with me on both Facebook and the cell ever since, often on a romantic level.


I am totally confused, and am feeling guilty for talking to the one that got away like I am, when I am supposed to be in a relationship with the first girl who is moving back here. :confusedshrug:


I know most of you here are a good bit younger than I am, and haven't had to deal with these types of situations, but any advice would be more than appreciated, because I don't know wtf to do!!!

That's hilarious. Similar thing happened to me. My first crush hit me up back in November, saying she saw me around couples times but didn't know if it was actually me, haha. Then she asked me to meet up for coffee. I still had feelings for her but I was already in a serious relationship so I had to put her down easy.

Funny thing is I never told that girl I liked her to begin with, but she was always sweet to me. Always felt she knew I liked her but she dated one of my best friends for a while so I couldn't even make a move. :facepalm

Anyway, man I would stay away from your first crush. If you really like the girl you're with now don't mess that up. She is moving to YOU, not the other way around.
And this other girl is hitting you up on Facebook on a romantic level? Don't play into that till she wants something real, if anything. So you better be feeling guilty.

[Balla_Status]

Oh Sh*t

now the two of them are facebook friends, lol.

Threesome time.

Nah, you're getting too old for that shit. Time to settle down.

[FatComputerNerd]

Who requested who?

If it was the ex that requested the new girl that completely confirms what I was saying about her just being jealous that a new girl is in the picture :oldlol:




I had to come clean with the new girl about the old because I was feeling guilty.

I guess she then invited the old girl and they chatted.

She was a little mad, jealous, etc...

All is well though.

[Bucket_Nakedz]

I had to come clean with the new girl about the old because I was feeling guilty.

I guess she then invited the old girl and they chatted.

She was a little mad, jealous, etc...

All is well though.
lol no, it is not. good luck doe...

[FatComputerNerd]

lol no, it is not. good luck doe...

It is.

I still have my pick.


New girl is moving here so we will see what happens.

She also literally gave me permission to go visit old girl first, if I wanted to...to be sure.

[pauk]

Post pics of the two, the one who is prettier wins... :pimp:

[Juges8932]

I think this will not be an overnight decision :banghead: :facepalm :confusedshrug:




I have a hard time choosing between two pairs of shoes...

Easy solution to indecisiveness. Flip a coin. Srs. 1 of 2 things will happen:

1) If you are really leaning one way (even if just slightly), when the coin is mid air you will know what you really want.

2) If you really don't care either way, the coin makes a decision and that's that.

I use this when I am unable to make a decision and it has always worked well due to the 1) and 2).

[Raz]

It is.

I still have my pick.


New girl is moving here so we will see what happens.

She also literally gave me permission to go visit old girl first, if I wanted to...to be sure.

Do it. You have the green light to test both out.

[FatComputerNerd]

Post pics of the two, the one who is prettier wins... :pimp:


Can't do that, sorry

Will post pic of winner maybe, when all's said and done.

[FatComputerNerd]

:biggums:

You're a grown man you don't need permission to do shit.

You are either joking or have never been in a committed relationship.

Lol :roll:

Anyways, I told her I wasn't going to go, (to visit old flame), want to see where things lead with us (new girl), and that I am "hers".

Now they are friends, and who the hell knows what possibilities are open for the future. :pimp:

[millwad]

....

[B]

:bowdown:

[FatComputerNerd]

Can a mod or admin please delete this thread.

I've a bad feeling it will come back to haunt me down the road! :oldlol:

[millwad]

Can a mod or admin please delete this thread.

I've a bad feeling it will come back to haunt me down the road! :oldlol:

Sorry, didn't mean to bump it, I was trying to delete the quote to the pics of Raz girlfriend... :facepalm

By the way, who did you choose?

[FatComputerNerd]

Sorry, didn't mean to bump it, I was trying to delete the quote to the pics of Raz girlfriend... :facepalm

By the way, who did you choose?

New girl is moving here in 3 weeks, but renting her own apt.


Still talking w/ old-flame on FB and whatnot though...

[millwad]

New girl is moving here in 3 weeks, but renting her own apt.


Still talking w/ old-flame on FB and whatnot though...

Glad you picked here, I think I wrote that the new one was the better option earlier in this thread too.

Hope that you'll have a great relationship!

[niko]

New girl is moving here in 3 weeks, but renting her own apt.


Still talking w/ old-flame on FB and whatnot though...
**** old girl **** new girl until they both find out then ditch them both and **** third girl.

OP is a winner.

Note: One thing to consider, these kids are NOT your kids. Kids are freaking expensive and require a lot of time. I personally would have issues taking care of another person's kids in a relationship.

[millwad]

**** old girl **** new girl until they both find out then ditch them both and **** third girl.

OP is a winner.

Note: One thing to consider, these kids are NOT your kids. Kids are freaking expensive and require a lot of time. I personally would have issues taking care of another person's kids in a relationship.

Why is that?

My girlfriend back home in Sweden got an older sister, they have the same mom but not the same dad. My girlfriend's father and her older sister are so close and they have the most beautiful relation to each other, getting a bonus kid is not that bad... I think.

[FatComputerNerd]

Kids are non-issue.

Both fathers are "supportive," and good dads.

[niko]

Why is that?

My girlfriend back home in Sweden got an older sister, they have the same mom but not the same dad. My girlfriend's father and her older sister are so close and they have the most beautiful relation to each other, getting a bonus kid is not that bad... I think.
It's not bad but a kid is an enormous responsibility and one that is very one sided aside from the affection you get. There are times i literally have to spend every dollar and every moment i have on my son and daughter, two kids who are mine biologically and i decided to bring into the world.

I am by no means saying don't do it, i'm saying consider it. Plus you get the bonus of the asshole who fathered them but is not being their father that you can't just get rid of. I control what my kids do and the schools they go to. You won't - you'll often have situations you'll be removed.

Just a thought. It's really not easy.

[niko]

Why is that?

My girlfriend back home in Sweden got an older sister, they have the same mom but not the same dad. My girlfriend's father and her older sister are so close and they have the most beautiful relation to each other, getting a bonus kid is not that bad... I think.
it's not bad, i give people who do it massive credit. it's just hard. In life remember, you don't need to take on every responsibility. For example, let's say you find out your GF has some huge problem that will haunt you forever IF you marry her. YOu don't have to still marry her. If my wife has that problem,then yes i do have to help her because i agreed to.

That's my only point. I've seen people take on problems that are not theres and regret it tremendously later.

[millwad]

It's not bad but a kid is an enormous responsibility and one that is very one sided aside from the affection you get. There are times i literally have to spend every dollar and every moment i have on my son and daughter, two kids who are mine biologically and i decided to bring into the world.

I am by no means saying don't do it, i'm saying consider it. Plus you get the bonus of the asshole who fathered them but is not being their father that you can't just get rid of. I control what my kids do and the schools they go to. You won't - you'll often have situations you'll be removed.

Just a thought. It's really not easy.

You're right and personally I don't have a kid to start with so I guess you put more thought to your reasoning than me.

But I think it depends on the situation as well, if the kid is a good one and feels attached to you and don't have a good father I guess I'd be more than glad to take care of it like my own.