Is being gay a choice?

[longhornfan1234]

I believe it's a choice. An action is a choice, feeling is part of life, but we all can choose whether or not to act on feelings. Acting on a feeling is a choice.

[stallionaire]

It's as much of a choice as being straight is.

Next.

[rufuspaul]

For the OP, no, no it's not. You were born gay. Embrace it and move on with your life.

[Kblaze8855]

Performing a gay act is a choice. Being gay is a feeling. Its whats in your head. Acting like gayness is in gay action is like saying a straight man is only straight when having sex with a woman. Hes straight because what attracts him. What he feels and thinks....

Gay people are gay no matter what they choose to do with those feelings just like a straight man who doesnt have sex is still straight.

[stallionaire]

For the OP, no, no it's not. You were born gay. Embrace it and move on with your life.

http://i.imgur.com/ZhjVl.gif

[Raz]

I can only assume that the OP is under 18.

[Juges8932]

http://i.imgur.com/aumCO.gif

[Nick Young]

How come people when they come out as gay suddenly start acting like fairie feminine gay dudes and talking with that stupid gay accent?

I know a few people who in elementary school were normal, talked normal, ran into them in a party back home and now they talk in that stereotype gay accent.

That's the only thing that bothers me, people force themselves to speak like what they think a gay person should speak like.

WHERE THE PHUCK DID THE GAY ACCENT COME FROM?

[ZeN]

How come people when they come out as gay suddenly start acting like fairie feminine gay dudes and talking with that stupid gay accent?

I know a few people who in elementary school were normal, talked normal, ran into them in a party back home and now they talk in that stereotype gay accent.

That's the only thing that bothers me, people force themselves to speak like what they think a gay person should speak like.

WHERE THE PHUCK DID THE GAY ACCENT COME FROM?
Its posturing and pretentiousness.. just like it exists among the straight community it works the same with homosexuals. Not all are like that.. Yet some because of being insecure or needing an identity, they start become someone that people will take notice of. Its open display of something that will make them feel more like what they are portraying. They are either gay or not, but any type of characterized exaggeration wont make it any more or less so.. But in their mind, they dont see that..

[ukballer]

Swear we see this thread in the OTC at least 4 times a year.

[Raz]

Its posturing and pretentiousness.. just like it exists among the straight community it works the same with homosexuals. Not all are like that.. Yet some because of being insecure or needing an identity, they start become someone that people will take notice of. Its open display of something that will make them feel more like what they are portraying. They are either gay or not, but any type of characterized exaggeration wont make it any more or less so.. But in their mind, they dont see that..

Very well said.

Might I add, that the fact they choose to speak a certain way should not bother any of us. How someone else chooses to live their life is not anyone else's problem, unless they are hurting others.

Nick Young, your question could easily be re-directed at the manliest of men who use the word **** or ***** in a lot of their sentences.
*I know that isn't as common in North America.

Acting differently is a way of posturing oneself to stand out from others. A way to clearly fit a stereotype. I always thought it was an easy way for gay guys to identify each other.

[senelcoolidge]

It's the cool thing now. Let's get a d*** up our butt guys..yeah. Am cool now. It's a choice for some people, but for others not really. Homosexuality is like bad wiring in the brain. Like a mental illness. Just like those people that like are attracted to children, dead people, animals, all of those weird things. Something just isn't right up there. Ok guys I'm ready for the hits.

[Raz]

It's the cool thing now. Let's get a d*** up our butt guys..yeah. Am cool now. It's a choice for some people, but for others not really. Homosexuality is like bad wiring in the brain. Like a mental illness. Just like those people that like are attracted to children, dead people, animals, all of those weird things. Something just isn't right up there. Ok guys I'm ready for the hits.

No hits - just the ignore list.

[Rolando]

OP: You are setting yourself up to be called gay. The reason being is that many straight people never had a gay urge or fantasy in their lives. For you to claim that it is a choice to be gay means that you have felt some kind of gay feelings or occasionally have gay fantasies. That is fine too. You may actually be gay or bisexual.

That's how the logic works.

It is up to the individual to look inside themselves and realize where their heart truly is. It certainly is OK to be gay. It is frikken 2012 not 1812.

[TheMan]

No hits - just the ignore list.:lol

[Rnbizzle]

No.

[Whoah10115]

The difference between being gay and acting it out is like the difference between being stupid and posting this thread.

[hoopaddict08]

Yes it's a choice. Until it is "proven" and not some "studdies suggest" type crap, I refuse to believe otherwise. How can it be a choice for some people and something that they were just born with for others? It's either choice or it isn't. Unless of course you want to consider it as some sort of mental disorder. But I have known people that were straight and turned gay and I know people that were gay and turned straight. It's a choice.

[Real Men Wear Green]

Is being stupid a choice?

[Whoah10115]

Yes it's a choice. Until it is "proven" and not some "studdies suggest" type crap, I refuse to believe otherwise. How can it be a choice for some people and something that they were just born with for others? It's either choice or it isn't. Unless of course you want to consider it as some sort of mental disorder. But I have known people that were straight and turned gay and I know people that were gay and turned straight. It's a choice.



What? What did you even say?

[longhornfan1234]

Too many libs on here name-calling. :facepalm


I didn't want to bring the Bible up...but I will. God has defined homosexuality as sin. Sin is always a choice of freewill. Thus... homosexuality is sin and is a choice. Please.... don't bring up animals are gay too... Human morality cannot be rationally applied to the animal kingdom. God did not give the moral law to animals... only to humans.

[Real Men Wear Green]

Too many libs on here name-calling. :facepalm


I didn't want to bring the Bible up...but I will. God has defined homosexuality as sin. Sin is always a choice of freewill. Thus... homosexuality is sin and is a choice. Please.... don't bring up animals are gay too... Human morality cannot be rationally applied to the animal kingdom. God did not give the moral law to animals... only to humans.
This is a stupid "point." Let's say the All-loving God hates all gays for sinning. Ok, now how does that make being gay not something they wre born with? You say it's a choice? How do you know? Are you prving it by successfully restraining all of your homosexual urges? If you find a person sexually appealing then you are attracted to their sex and that defines your sexuality. So why don't you stop making stupid topics and go find yourself a boyfriend. Negged.

[Kblaze8855]

So you are only gay if you act on it? You cant be gay and just....not have gay sex?
That how it works?

[Raz]

Too many libs on here name-calling. :facepalm


I didn't want to bring the Bible up...but I will. God has defined homosexuality as sin. Sin is always a choice of freewill. Thus... homosexuality is sin and is a choice. Please.... don't bring up animals are gay too... Human morality cannot be rationally applied to the animal kingdom. God did not give the moral law to animals... only to humans.

Yes, God is out to smite gay men for committing buggery. :facepalm

[Raz]

Too many libs on here name-calling. :facepalm


I didn't want to bring the Bible up...but I will. God has defined homosexuality as sin. Sin is always a choice of freewill. Thus... homosexuality is sin and is a choice. Please.... don't bring up animals are gay too... Human morality cannot be rationally applied to the animal kingdom. God did not give the moral law to animals... only to humans.

How are you still in the green? You need some negs!

[blacknapalm]

who would choose to be discriminated and bullied against? we can get into the whole nature vs. nurture thing but this isn't like picking out a lunch

[DeuceWallaces]

I don't believe so.

[D-Rose]

Too many libs on here name-calling. :facepalm


I didn't want to bring the Bible up...but I will. God has defined homosexuality as sin. Sin is always a choice of freewill. Thus... homosexuality is sin and is a choice. Please.... don't bring up animals are gay too... Human morality cannot be rationally applied to the animal kingdom. God did not give the moral law to animals... only to humans.
I don't understand how you can rationally and objectively use the Bible to back up anything. It's a document written thousands of years ago by man, just like thousands of other religious doctrines. Just because you believe in it, doesn't mean it's true, nor that it's more valid than any other religion.

Homosexuality really wouldn't be an issue if religion didn't tell you so. It's natural in many animal species and many studies have shown that it's genetic. Just look at twin studies and the cross sections of gay male brains.

[hoopaddict08]

This is a stupid "point." Let's say the All-loving God hates all gays for sinning. Ok, now how does that make being gay not something they wre born with? You say it's a choice? How do you know? Are you prving it by successfully restraining all of your homosexual urges? If you find a person sexually appealing then you are attracted to their sex and that defines your sexuality. So why don't you stop making stupid topics and go find yourself a boyfriend. Negged.

But how do you know it's not a choice? I don't think anyone knows. People are acting like it's a well known fact that being gay is something your born with. But last I checked, that hasn't been proven fact. I don't have anything against anyone this is gay. But I do believe it's a choice and there are also people who are gay that have claimed it to be their choice as well. So this debate is pretty flippin pointless.

[Is He Ill]

Too many libs on here name-calling. :facepalm


I didn't want to bring the Bible up...but I will. God has defined homosexuality as sin. Sin is always a choice of freewill. Thus... homosexuality is sin and is a choice. Please.... don't bring up animals are gay too... Human morality cannot be rationally applied to the animal kingdom. God did not give the moral law to animals... only to humans.

How about we don't reference the bible when we are discussing reality? Thanks.

[MMM]

Too many libs on here name-calling. :facepalm


I didn't want to bring the Bible up...but I will. God has defined homosexuality as sin. Sin is always a choice of freewill. Thus... homosexuality is sin and is a choice. Please.... don't bring up animals are gay too... Human morality cannot be rationally applied to the animal kingdom. God did not give the moral law to animals... only to humans.

This is similar to the logic used by Akin about legitimate rape. Maybe it is time we stop taking the Bible as fact.

[hoopaddict08]

It's a document written thousands of years ago by man

Kind of like the constitution....

[D-Rose]

But how do you know it's not a choice? I don't think anyone knows. People are acting like it's a well known fact that being gay is something your born with. But last I checked, that hasn't been proven fact. I don't have anything against anyone this is gay. But I do believe it's a choice and there are also people who are gay that have claimed it to be their choice as well. So this debate is pretty flippin pointless.

http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/80beats/2008/06/16/172/


Swedish researchers did MRI scans of 50 heterosexual men and women and 40 homosexual men and women and found surprising parallels. The brains of lesbians and straight men were anatomically symmetrical while the brains of gay men and straight women had a larger right brain hemisphere.

[QUOTE]The researchers also looked at the amygdala, a part of the brain that

[Is He Ill]

Kind of like the constitution....

Nah man, that was a couple hundred years ago. We also make amendments to it, unlike the Bible.

[D-Rose]

Kind of like the constitution....
And...? What makes it more valid to the affairs of this country in which we run based on a separation of church and state, please read the first line of the first amendment.

[D-Rose]

Nah man, that was a couple hundred years ago. We also make amendments to it, unlike the Bible.
Very untrue actually. The Bible you see today is very different from the one you would have seen a couple thousand years ago. Some of the content has changed due to translation barriers, but mostly man has changed the Bible over and over though time to fit their needs, desires, and goals. Religion is the opiate of the masses, son.

[Overdrive]

Too many libs on here name-calling. :facepalm


I didn't want to bring the Bible up...but I will. God has defined homosexuality as sin. Sin is always a choice of freewill. Thus... homosexuality is sin and is a choice. Please.... don't bring up animals are gay too... Human morality cannot be rationally applied to the animal kingdom. God did not give the moral law to animals... only to humans.

How come "men of god" **** little male children?

[Is He Ill]

Very untrue actually. The Bible you see today is very different from the one you would have seen a couple thousand years ago. Some of the content has changed due to translation barriers, but mostly man has changed the Bible over and over though time to fit their needs, desires, and goals. Religion is the opiate of the masses, son.

That's true, I'm just saying that the document isn't the "word of God." You are right though, and I realize that.

[hoopaddict08]

Very untrue actually. The Bible you see today is very different from the one you would have seen a couple thousand years ago. Some of the content has changed due to translation barriers, but mostly man has changed the Bible over and over though time to fit their needs, desires, and goals. Religion is the opiate of the masses, son.

Really. What needs, desires and goals would that be. Please be as specific as possible.

[RoseCity07]

I don't understand how you can rationally and objectively use the Bible to back up anything. It's a document written thousands of years ago by man, just like thousands of other religious doctrines. Just because you believe in it, doesn't mean it's true, nor that it's more valid than any other religion.

Homosexuality really wouldn't be an issue if religion didn't tell you so. It's natural in many animal species and many studies have shown that it's genetic. Just look at twin studies and the cross sections of gay male brains.

You won't get through to him. One of my favorite quotes to use on religious people.


"We are all atheists about most of the gods that societies have ever believed in. Some of us just go one god further." -- Richard Dawkins

[hoopaddict08]

http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/80beats/2008/06/16/172/

That's a pretty small sample size and it doesn't even prove anything.

[QUOTE]"Cynthia Nixon stands by her statement that she is gay by choice, despite the backlash she

[Overdrive]

Really. What needs, desires and goals would that be. Please be as specific as possible.

Getting the church that promotes that certain version of the bible money and power.

Do you think Luther was possessed by God or do you think he "rewrote" the bible to open it up, on purpose, to a different type of people(poor, not latin speaking ones) to reach out?

[D-Rose]

Really. What needs, desires and goals would that be. Please be as specific as possible.
Are you really too naive to see how religion has been used to manipulate people?

Remember the indulgences that Priests sold in Medieval times? Give me x amount of money, and you will go to heaven. :oldlol:

Look at the Spanish conquest of Central and South America and the methods used to convert those people to Catholicism.

It's not just Christianity, but historically, people of all religions to some degree use their faith for personal gain.


That's a pretty small sample size and it doesn't even prove anything.

Well, there are outliers and exceptions to every rule. There can be other psychological and social factors involved with someone saying that.

Look at twin studies of gay twins, when they are raised in separate homes and totally different environments, there is a very high rate that both will be homosexual if one is. There is also proof that the more kids a woman has, the more likely the next kid is to be homosexual due to certain hormonal balances.

[Raz]

Why are we debating with idiots? D-Rose, you're not going to be able to educate these homophobe Neanderthals.

[hoopaddict08]

Are you really too naive to see how religion has been used to manipulate people?

Remember the indulgences that Priests sold in Medieval times? Give me x amount of money, and you will go to heaven. :oldlol:

Look at the Spanish conquest of Central and South America and the methods used to convert those people to Catholicism.

It's not just Christianity, but historically, people of all religions to some degree use their faith for personal gain.


Were you not specifically referring to the bible? So once again, what specific changes were made? And just out of curiosity, where are you getting this information from? I hope it's not something written by man because that could be corrupt as well. Could it not? So please with what was changed in the bible.

I'm not trying to argue here simply trying to understand. I'm not naive either. There are plenty of corrupt preachers and pastors that have gained off of peoples innocence. I'm very careful where I go to Church. I also don't always give to the Church but to those in need. I just spent a summer helping families in the Dominican along with Haitians that were also living in villages.

Please don't act like I'm some idiot. It's extremely disrespectful.

The funny thing is most people on this board have no problem supporting the gay community. Live life the way you want right? No arguments there.

But yet a lot of those same people have no problem arguing or even bashing the christian community for their beliefs.

Don't get me wrong, I understand a lot of Christians are hypocrites and it can be difficult to tell who is a true follower. According to the bible we are all sinners and no sin is any worse than the other. So none of us should judge.

It's just frustrating as a Christian when you see this society so accepting but when it comes to religon especially Christianity it's often the complete opposite. But as I said, I understand why that might be. But to be confused with some of the people that claim to be Christians is frustrating. This is why I often say I'm simply a follower as opposed to a "Christian".

[Real Men Wear Green]

But how do you know it's not a choice? I don't think anyone knows. People are acting like it's a well known fact that being gay is something your born with. But last I checked, that hasn't been proven fact. I don't have anything against anyone this is gay. But I do believe it's a choice and there are also people who are gay that have claimed it to be their choice as well. So this debate is pretty flippin pointless.
Ask a gay person. I know for a fact I can't choose to be gay, I don't want to have sex with men, never have, never will. If you refuse to acknowledge the science presented by D-Rose, use common sense. Are you capable of just deciding that men are sexy? Would you be happy and fulfilled sleeping with a man every night? this isn't a switch you flip. That's nonsense.

[hoopaddict08]

Ask a gay person. I know for a fact I can't choose to be gay, I don't want to have sex with men, never have, never will. If you refuse to acknowledge the science presented by D-Rose, use common sense. Are you capable of just deciding that men are sexy? Would you be happy and fulfilled sleeping with a man every night? this isn't a switch you flip. That's nonsense.

You did read the quote I posted didn't you?
[QUOTE]"Cynthia Nixon stands by her statement that she is gay by choice, despite the backlash she

[Overdrive]

Were you not specifically referring to the bible? So once again, what specific changes were made? And just out of curiosity, where are you getting this information from? I hope it's not something written by man because that could be corrupt as well. Could it not? So please with what was changed in the bible.


Look up Martin Luther on wikipedia, but I guess your question is a bait anyway.



The funny thing is most people on this board have no problem supporting the gay community. Live life the way you want right? No arguments there.

But yet a lot of those same people have no problem arguing or even bashing the christian community for their beliefs.

Don't get me wrong, I understand a lot of Christians are hypocrites and it can be difficult to tell who is a true follower. According to the bible we are all sinners and no sin is any worse than the other. So none of us should judge.

I've got no problem with believes on any kind, but I got problem with institutionalized believes, because it grants power to some man. If you believe in god you should believe in god and not some 80 year old presumably virgin man or any other religious worldly figure.




It's just frustrating as a Christian when you see this society so accepting but when it comes to religon especially Christianity it's often the complete opposite. But as I said, I understand why that might be. But to be confused with some of the people that claim to be Christians is frustrating. This is why I often say I'm simply a follower as opposed to a "Christian".

The biggest problem here is that christian churches, as in the institution, killed a lot of people over milleniums, still abuse their power all over the world and spew hate. Christian religions are not the only ones doing that, but those are the most dominant where we live(western "civilization").

Gay people on the other hand just do some buttsex or pussylicking, so well....

[Real Men Wear Green]

You did read the quote I posted didn't you?


I have had these conversations before with gays. Some have admitted to it being their choice as well as some have said they are born that way. So no, it's not like it's fact even if studies might play if it off that way. Why do some straight people turn gay and why do gay people turn straight?
Come on. How many gay people out there have said it was not a choice? You post the minority position held by one lesbian and choose to ignore the legions of homosexuals that will tell you they were born that way. Gay people "turn straight" because assholes like the OP have been treating them like second-class citizens their whole lives. There is no anti-straight discrimination, the law won't tell you you can't marry your girl. Societal pressures do exist.
Call me crazy, but I believe it's a choice. I don't understand why so people act like that's an outrageous beliefBecause it doesn't make any sense. You're standing on the wrong side of history. A person may have been changed by a traumatic experience but for the main part you like who you like. Seriously, can you just decide to start doing men and liking it? If that idea doesn't strike you as stupid you're probably gay.

[hoopaddict08]

Look up Martin Luther on wikipedia, but I guess your question is a bait anyway.



I've got no problem with believes on any kind, but I got problem with institutionalized believes, because it grants power to some man. If you believe in god you should believe in god and not some 80 year old presumably virgin man or any other religious worldly figure.




The biggest problem here is that christian churches, as in the institution, killed a lot of people over milleniums, still abuse their power all over the world and spew hate. Christian religions are not the only ones doing that, but those are the most dominant where we live(western "civilization").

Gay people on the other hand just do some buttsex or pussylicking, so well....


Sorry but no "Christian" church I have attended has ever spewed hate. And yes I believe in God and if you have a problem with someone believe in Jesus then I guess that's just your problem.

[B-Low]

I've added homosexuality to my list of topics that aren't worth debating with people.

1. Religion
2. Politics
3. Wilt Chamberlain
4. Top ___ Rappers of All Time
5. Homosexuality

People's stances on those 5 things can't be changed no matter how many sources are quoted, examples are given and facts are presented

[magictricked]

Two gay guys are chatting on the corner when this incredibly hot blonde comes walking towards them.

They stop mid conversation and watch her walk past them, their mouths agape in awe.

As she turns into a Starbucks and out of sight the first gay gentleman turns to the second and says "it's times like this I wish I was a lesbian"

[hoopaddict08]

Come on. How many gay people out there have said it was not a choice? You post the minority position held by one lesbian and choose to ignore the legions of homosexuals that will tell you they were born that way. Gay people "turn straight" because assholes like the OP have been treating them like second-class citizens their whole lives. There is no anti-straight discrimination, the law won't tell you you can't marry your girl. Societal pressures do exist.Because it doesn't make any sense. You're standing on the wrong side of history. A person may have been changed by a traumatic experience but for the main part you like who you like. Seriously, can you just decide to start doing men and liking it? If that idea doesn't strike you as stupid you're probably gay.

Do you just chose what you want to read and don't? I have talked to gay people that have said it was a choice. So just to clarify what I have just said, I have TALKED to gay people that have said it was a choice. Wrong side of history? What are you talking about?

[Overdrive]

Sorry but no "Christian" church I have attended has ever spewed hate. And yes I believe in God and if you have a problem with someone believe in Jesus then I guess that's just your problem.

Were did I say I've got a problem with someone believing in God or Jesus?

[magictricked]

I've added homosexuality to my list of topics that aren't worth debating with people.

1. Religion
2. Politics
3. Wilt Chamberlain
4. Top ___ Rappers of All Time
5. Homosexuality

People's stances on those 5 things can't be changed no matter how many sources are quoted, examples are given and facts are presentedThat's a good list, echoes many of my own. I've also recently added 9-11 conspiracy theories to mine.

[hoopaddict08]

Were did I say I've got a problem with someone believing in God or Jesus?

Sorry must have misread one of your posts.

[Kobe 4 The Win]

I know a good amount of gay people and for the truly gay ones it's not a choice. They were born gay and eventually they are honest with themselves and stop pretending to be straight. However, there are some people who are bisexual and just dabble in gayness for fun or to get attention or whatever else. That is a choice. I would say those folks are mostly women and they are in the minority. Legit gay people don't have a choice. I'm very certain of that.

[Real Men Wear Green]

Do you just chose what you want to read and don't? I have talked to gay people that have said it was a choice. So just to clarify what I have just said, I have TALKED to gay people that have said it was a choice. Wrong side of history? What are you talking about?
The side of history that believes it's a choice, and thus gives the unfair justification to those (not saying this is you) that believe it's ok to discriminate because it's just a "choice." You complain about my selective reading but I acknowledged the few that claim to have chosen, I just put more credence to the majority that say it is their nature. Now why don't you answer my question: Are you capable of choosing to be gay? Can you go get a boyfriend and enjoy making love to him every night like you would a woman, no difference?

[niko]

Anyone who has dealt with young people and seen those who had "gay" tendencies struggle with it and the unhappiness, the hiding it, the denying it to themselves and others amid the abuse they take can tell you it's not a choice. i've taught two young people specifically in my life (when i was teaching) who were so tortured by it and took such crap from their peers. I can't imagine them choosing that life.

[Real Men Wear Green]

Anyone who has dealt with young people and seen those who had "gay" tendencies struggle with it and the unhappiness, the hiding it, the denying it to themselves and others amid the abuse they take can tell you it's not a choice. i've taught two young people specifically in my life (when i was teaching) who were so tortured by it and took such crap from their peers. I can't imagine them choosing that life.
It seriously makes no sense. Just thinking about the way kids that seemed gay got teased and bullied in Jr. high and high school? No one is picking that.

[hoopaddict08]

The side of history that believes it's a choice, and thus gives the unfair justification to those (not saying this is you) that believe it's ok to discriminate because it's just a "choice." You complain about my selective reading but I acknowledged the few that claim to have chosen, I just put more credence to the majority that say it is their nature. Now why don't you answer my question: Are you capable of choosing to be gay? Can you go get a boyfriend and enjoy making love to him every night like you would a woman, no difference?

That's a silly question in my opinion. I couldn't imagine myself going out buying a pack of cigarettes and yet people do make that choice everyday. Some can't imagine life without smoking. While some eventually make the tough decision of quitting. To me it's kind of a similar choice.

When I was in highschool I was in a brand new school district and didn't know anyone. I had terrible acne and just was one of those awkward looking teenagers that no girls had interest in. I did start to have homosexual desires after a while and did come close to actually doing it. It was a choice I nearly made which now I'm glad I didn't. I have no desire to ever make that choice but yes I almost did. It's just like I no longer chose to look at porn, drink, or smoke. Once decisions I once made and once enjoyed, no longer have any desire to do.

[Real Men Wear Green]

That's a silly question in my opinion. I couldn't imagine myself going out buying a pack of cigarettes and yet people do make that choice everyday. Some can't imagine life without smoking. While some eventually make the tough decision of quitting. To me it's kind of a similar choice.

When I was in highschool I was in a brand new school district and didn't know anyone. I had terrible acne and just was one of those awkward looking teenagers that no girls had interest in. I did start to have homosexual desires after a while and did come close to actually doing it. It was a choice I nearly made which now I'm glad I didn't. I have no desire to ever make that choice but yes I almost did. It's just like I no longer chose to look at porn, drink, or smoke. Once decisions I once made and once enjoyed, no longer have any desire to do.
Oh, so you're a repressed homosexual. Nevermind, this won't get anywhere.

[niko]

That's a silly question in my opinion. I couldn't imagine myself going out buying a pack of cigarettes and yet people do make that choice everyday. Some can't imagine life without smoking. While some eventually make the tough decision of quitting. To me it's kind of a similar choice.

When I was in highschool I was in a brand new school district and didn't know anyone. I had terrible acne and just was one of those awkward looking teenagers that no girls had interest in. I did start to have homosexual desires after a while and did come close to actually doing it. It was a choice I nearly made which now I'm glad I didn't. I have no desire to ever make that choice but yes I almost did. It's just like I no longer chose to look at porn, drink, or smoke. Once decisions I once made and once enjoyed, no longer have any desire to do.
Um, ok.

[B-Low]

Methinks the plot hath thickened...

[hoopaddict08]

Oh, so you're a repressed homosexual. Nevermind, this won't get anywhere.

:facepalm very intelligent of you. I have no desires of being gay. But I forgot to help your argument you will pretend like you know me.

I now agree that this is a topic that gets either side no where in a debate.

[Real Men Wear Green]

:facepalm very intelligent of you. I have no desires of being gay. But I forgot to help your argument you will pretend like you know me.

I now agree that this is a topic that gets either side no where in a debate.
You are the one that told me that you had some homosexual urgings. That would in fact make you gay. I mean no disrespect, but the obvious conclusion is there to be made.

[hoopaddict08]

You are the one that told me that you had some homosexual urgings. That would in fact make you gay. I mean no disrespect, but the obvious conclusion is there to be made.

Urgings I had 9 years ago but haven't had sense? Brilliant conclusion.


I smoked pot in highschool as well. I guess that still makes me a pothead right? Even though I haven't done it in years and would have no desire to do it again.

But once again choosing to read what you want to draw false conclusions. That doesn't help your argument and simply helps me conclude that you haven't contributed anything to this conversation.

Choices, choices, choices.

[L.Kizzle]

If a gay guy kidnapped a straight guy tied him up and proceded to suck his dick, would the straight guy come?

[Real Men Wear Green]

Think what you will. The record is there for all to read.

[Balla_Status]

Your views fit more of a redneck aggie than a longhorn.

To answer the question: I really don't know. All I know is people are gay and that's that. Get the **** over it.

[hoopaddict08]

Think what you will. The record is there for all to read.

Haha alright man. A world where people can't change. What a sad world that would be.

[Balla_Status]

That's a silly question in my opinion. I couldn't imagine myself going out buying a pack of cigarettes and yet people do make that choice everyday. Some can't imagine life without smoking. While some eventually make the tough decision of quitting. To me it's kind of a similar choice.

When I was in highschool I was in a brand new school district and didn't know anyone. I had terrible acne and just was one of those awkward looking teenagers that no girls had interest in. I did start to have homosexual desires after a while and did come close to actually doing it. It was a choice I nearly made which now I'm glad I didn't. I have no desire to ever make that choice but yes I almost did. It's just like I no longer chose to look at porn, drink, or smoke. Once decisions I once made and once enjoyed, no longer have any desire to do.

You're a ****ing weirdo. So you decided to almost get your shit shoved in because you couldn't get laid?

I couldn't get laid for shit for years and never thought once about hooking up with a dude.

[Balla_Status]

Urgings I had 9 years ago but haven't had sense? Brilliant conclusion.


I smoked pot in highschool as well. I guess that still makes me a pothead right? Even though I haven't done it in years and would have no desire to do it again.

But once again choosing to read what you want to draw false conclusions. That doesn't help your argument and simply helps me conclude that you haven't contributed anything to this conversation.

Choices, choices, choices.

Your comparisons make no sense at all dude. You can smoke pot. You can physically buy a pack of cigarettes regardless if you used to do it.

Gay dudes can't physically get it up to Kim Kardashian. I can't physically get it up to Channing Tatum.

Oh, and you're definitely gay if you have homo urges.

[Whoah10115]

Are you guys getting into this argument because of this OP? Come on..

[CelticBaller]

That's a silly question in my opinion. I couldn't imagine myself going out buying a pack of cigarettes and yet people do make that choice everyday. Some can't imagine life without smoking. While some eventually make the tough decision of quitting. To me it's kind of a similar choice.

When I was in highschool I was in a brand new school district and didn't know anyone. I had terrible acne and just was one of those awkward looking teenagers that no girls had interest in. I did start to have homosexual desires after a while and did come close to actually doing it. It was a choice I nearly made which now I'm glad I didn't. I have no desire to ever make that choice but yes I almost did. It's just like I no longer chose to look at porn, drink, or smoke. Once decisions I once made and once enjoyed, no longer have any desire to do.
This n*gga is in the closet :oldlol:

[D-Rose]

The most striking thing is the way hoopaddict worded his situation... "I began to have homosexual desires," not "I began to choose to have an interest in men." You acknowledged yourself that the desire was not a choice, but innate. Check and mate.

[magictricked]

I do not support hoopaddict's views or opinions at all in this thread. I find them to be archaic at best.

Still, I'd caution others in the thread to avoid going too far down the path this thread seems headed for with his one statement. We don't need to be that type of place.

[hoopaddict08]

The most striking thing is the way hoopaddict worded his situation... "I began to have homosexual desires," not "I began to choose to have an interest in men." You acknowledged yourself that the desire was not a choice, but innate. Check and mate.

It starts with a desire doesn't it? That doesn't mean I was born that way. When I first smoked weed I didn't just chose to do it to do it. So I'm sorry but I don't see your check and mate. It's still ultimately a choice, a choice I did not make on desires I no longer have.

[hoopaddict08]

Your comparisons make no sense at all dude. You can smoke pot. You can physically buy a pack of cigarettes regardless if you used to do it.

Gay dudes can't physically get it up to Kim Kardashian. I can't physically get it up to Channing Tatum.

Oh, and you're definitely gay if you have homo urges.

Um yes, I can buy a pack of cigarettes. But will I smoke them? No. That's disgusting. Always has been disgusting to me. So yes, there is a comparison. As for weed, I don't have any desire to do that again. So it will never be my choice. I have grown up. And much like you, I can't physically get up to Channing Tatum either. Although at one point I probably could have.

You guys are really failing to understand the whole "changing" aspect. I cannot simplify it anymore for you. I once had these desires; I no longer have these desires. People change. Then you brush off the people that have come out saying it was their choice like they're nothing? What kind of crap is that? Just because it's not the majority doesn't mean it's wrong.

[niko]

Um yes, I can buy a pack of cigarettes. But will I smoke them? No. That's disgusting. Always has been disgusting to me. So yes, there is a comparison. As for weed, I don't have any desire to do that again. So it will never be my choice. I have grown up. And much like you, I can't physically get up to Channing Tatum either. Although at one point I probably could have.

You guys are really failing to understand the whole "changing" aspect. I cannot simplify it anymore for you. I once had these desires; I no longer have these desires. People change. Then you brush off the people that have come out saying it was their choice like they're nothing? What kind of crap is that? Just because it's not the majority doesn't mean it's wrong.

You're freaking hysterical. You're so gay. It's ok, there are others on ISH who are also gay. There's nothing wrong with it.

[Balla_Status]

Um yes, I can buy a pack of cigarettes. But will I smoke them? No. That's disgusting. Always has been disgusting to me. So yes, there is a comparison. As for weed, I don't have any desire to do that again. So it will never be my choice. I have grown up. And much like you, I can't physically get up to Channing Tatum either. Although at one point I probably could have.

You guys are really failing to understand the whole "changing" aspect. I cannot simplify it anymore for you. I once had these desires; I no longer have these desires. People change. Then you brush off the people that have come out saying it was their choice like they're nothing? What kind of crap is that? Just because it's not the majority doesn't mean it's wrong.

It has nothing to do with desires dude. Regardless of whether or not you have the desire to smoke a cigarette, you still CAN do it. Just because you have no desire doesn't makes you suddenly unable to smoke a cigarette. You may smoke it and think it's disgusting but you'll still be able to do it.

I have no desire to jerk my meat to channing tatum. Nor can I physically get it up to him. I'm UNABLE to do so. I think tequila is disgusting. Doesn't mean I'm suddenly unable to take a shot of it.

[Kobe 4 The Win]

I just think you can't paint every "gay" person with the same brush. Human beings are complicated.

[Raz]

:facepalm very intelligent of you. I have no desires of being gay. But I forgot to help your argument you will pretend like you know me.


Obviously you do or did. It doesn't make you gay, it doesn't make you bi-sexual, but it does make you bi-curious, moving towards being a bi-sexual.

I have read the posts up to the end of page 6, and it looks like people have changed and are giving you shit for this rather than your highly flawed viewpoint that people can choose their sexual preference in terms of gender. This is clearly false, as so many posters have pointed out, especially D-Rose. Props to him for a well constructed argument with sources. Your sources, Cynthia Nixon, and "people you have spoken to" are not sources. Cynthia Nixon's word does not cover all people. She is an attention whore.

Have you ever thought that she is bi-sexual? In that case, it is a choice for her. However, if she was straight and decided to be gay, that makes no sense whatsoever. I can't imagine just deciding one day to bone and be bned by dudes, that's not for me at all.

The fact of the matter is that people are born with different desires in life. Some men want women, some men want men, some men want women dressed as men, some men want men and women, some men want to marry a Japanese pillow.

Even paedophilia is passed down. Father molests son, psychological damage is done, the son may now grow to think this is normal and has a chance to become a molester. However, this is a mental illness caused by trauma and stress. I just wanted to point out that not even paedophilia is a choice.

[Raz]

You're freaking hysterical. You're so gay. It's ok, there are others on ISH who are also gay. There's nothing wrong with it.

Oh, it sounds like he flushed the gay away. :roll:

Balla_Status believes in absolutes, he hasn't even considered the fact that there is another area of sexual preference, straight, gay, BI-SEXUAL!

[Lebowsky]

Swear we see this thread in the OTC at least 4 times a year.
The same could be said about 80% of what's posted here.

[blacknapalm]

what are people's thoughts on people that act out/come out later in life? i'm talking about guys that start a family, then at the age of 40 or 50 get in a gay relationship. they then say they were able to repress urges for years but how difficult it was and how they were living a false life, were unhappy and not being themselves.

just wondering what people think about that...societal pressures/culture making them bottle up those desires? so in essence, a result of fear and acceptance?

[miller-time]

what are people's thoughts on people that act out/come out later in life? i'm talking about guys that start a family, then at the age of 40 or 50 get in a gay relationship. they then say they were able to repress urges for years but how difficult it was and how they were living a false life, were unhappy and not being themselves.

just wondering what people think about that...societal pressures/culture making them bottle up those desires? so in essence, a result of fear and acceptance?

it is sad. imagine having to hide who you really are for your entire life? i don't know if i could do it.

[Raz]

what are people's thoughts on people that act out/come out later in life? i'm talking about guys that start a family, then at the age of 40 or 50 get in a gay relationship. they then say they were able to repress urges for years but how difficult it was and how they were living a false life, were unhappy and not being themselves.

just wondering what people think about that...societal pressures/culture making them bottle up those desires? so in essence, a result of fear and acceptance?

That's so hard. They are so fearful of being outed they live a completely different life. The sad part is that the wife is duped for most of her prime years. It's a pretty selfish move, and a ***** move. I would be super pissed. I'd really be looking to screw them over in the divorce.

[Rolando]

what are people's thoughts on people that act out/come out later in life? i'm talking about guys that start a family, then at the age of 40 or 50 get in a gay relationship. they then say they were able to repress urges for years but how difficult it was and how they were living a false life, were unhappy and not being themselves.

just wondering what people think about that...societal pressures/culture making them bottle up those desires? so in essence, a result of fear and acceptance?

The world would be a far better place if people were not so weird about everything to do with sex. This goes for straight people too.

As to the guy who finally comes out as being gay after having started a family; Good for him. Now he can finally explore his true sexuality and he is lucky enough to have kids as well. So it wasn't all bad.

[Raz]

As to the guy who finally comes out as being gay after having started a family; Good for him. Now he can finally explore his true sexuality and he is lucky enough to have kids as well. So it wasn't all bad.

What about the wife he then questions everything about her life. Married to a gay guy for years.... :facepalm

[dunksby]

What about the wife he then questions everything about her life. Married to a gay guy for years.... :facepalm
It's a sad situation for everyone involved, imagine knowing that you were born out of a passionless intercourse where your father was just trying to do his paternal duty. But that's heterosexual hegemony for you.

[miller-time]

That's so hard. They are so fearful of being outed they live a completely different life. The sad part is that the wife is duped for most of her prime years. It's a pretty selfish move, and a ***** move. I would be super pissed. I'd really be looking to screw them over in the divorce.

the gay person isn't doing it to hurt anyone. they are trying to conform due to societal pressure. i'm not saying it is a good thing to do, just that it isn't like they are going out there to hurt anyone they are merely trying to get through life. more so, they do legitimately care for their wives and children. even though there is no sexual attraction (to their wives) they do love them. there are plenty of hetero people that treat their families much worse than that.

[blacknapalm]

exactly. brutal on everybody really. it's hard for me to feel sympathy for those people. at the very least, they were bi right? i mean, you have to be erect to ejaculate inside a vag. that would insinuate arousal in some way. and for years, he wasn't honest to his wife and kids.

on top of that, the kids would be confused as hell. when word got out, i can't imagine the shit that could be said to them. if it's the man, he can just move onto the next relationship and say, 'well, i'm gay.' he then has to deal with short-term fallout. the rest of the family has to endure the long-term fallout. that can be an extremely awkward and uncomfortable situation for all parties.

ideally, they aren't doing it to be a dick but it's distressing to know the lengths they'd go to because of societal norms or whatever. and in that way, it's sort of a selfish act.

on the flip side, he/she probably struggled with how to approach it, didn't want to break up the family and waited till their children were...16 or older? idk. it's hard enough for kids to find out one of their parents is having an affair, but to find out one of your parents are in a same sex affair? that's an entirely different ball game.

yet another reason for the world to be less prejudiced though. folks would feel less insecure and afraid of coming out and any repercussions involved....

[Raz]

the gay person isn't doing it to hurt anyone. they are trying to conform due to societal pressure. i'm not saying it is a good thing to do, just that it isn't like they are going out there to hurt anyone they are merely trying to get through life. more so, they do legitimately care for their wives and children. even though there is no sexual attraction (to their wives) they do love them. there are plenty of hetero people that treat their families much worse than that.

Oh I know their intent is not to hurt anyone, but it does create hurt. I also agree that these relationships are probably far less damaging than some other types of families that feature different types of abuse.

All in all, we live in a world now where someone should not be living a lie, well maybe in some less developed countries, but to live in the Western world in a relationship under false pretences is ridiculous.

[Rolando]

What about the wife he then questions everything about her life. Married to a gay guy for years.... :facepalm

The truth is better than living a lie for both parties. Things might even be better for the wife and kids now that dad finally figured his shit out.

[LJJ]

it's hard for me to feel sympathy for those people. at the very least, they were bi right? i mean, you have to be erect to ejaculate inside a vag. that would insinuate arousal in some way.

You.....don't have an imagination? I can fap if there isn't a girl present, does that make me a masturbasexual?

You can be a gay guy and **** a women. There are tons of guys who are straight, then go to prison long term and have their d1ck sucked by a man. Or the guys who are in gay porn, most of them are straight.

[blacknapalm]

You.....don't have an imagination? I can fap if there isn't a girl present, does that make me a masturbasexual?

You can be a gay guy and **** a women. There are tons of guys who are straight, then go to prison long term and have their d1ck sucked by a man. Or the guys who are in gay porn, most of them are straight.

not sure what fapping has to do with it. some people could fap inside a church :oldlol: and if the girl is present....do not use imagination. fapping is much different from insertion and ejaculating in the opposite sex that you are attracted to. fapping can be very natural.

are you saying the guy was imagining another guy while screwing his wife? isn't that leading on the woman? living a double life? ultimately, being selfish? can straight men bang dudes and just imagine a woman is there? i doubt it.

prison is different. you have no outlet. there's power struggles. you get threatened. you can get raped. gay porn...well, they are getting paid and many of their backgrounds are fvcked up.

i'm talking about people in free societies.

[LJJ]

i'm talking about people in free societies.

I'm sure this type of thing happens dramatically less now than it did fifty years ago, so yes this type of behavior is directly related to how free society is.



And I'm not saying it's not a disgusting act to marry someone for the wrong reasons, but how many times does this happen? So many marriages end up in divorce. So many people get married for selfish reasons while having strong doubts. It's wrong, but it's very common in "straight" marriages as well.

[Overdrive]

That's a silly question in my opinion. I couldn't imagine myself going out buying a pack of cigarettes and yet people do make that choice everyday. Some can't imagine life without smoking. While some eventually make the tough decision of quitting. To me it's kind of a similar choice.

When I was in highschool I was in a brand new school district and didn't know anyone. I had terrible acne and just was one of those awkward looking teenagers that no girls had interest in. I did start to have homosexual desires after a while and did come close to actually doing it. It was a choice I nearly made which now I'm glad I didn't. I have no desire to ever make that choice but yes I almost did. It's just like I no longer chose to look at porn, drink, or smoke. Once decisions I once made and once enjoyed, no longer have any desire to do.

So did you decide to have homosexual feelings or did the as you worded it start to come up all of a sudden? You had the choice to persue those desires or not, but you didn't have the choice if there are those desires in the first place.

The choice you're talking about is the choice of realization or not, but not being gay or not itself.

[blacknapalm]

comparing this to urges to alcohol or tobacco is unwise anyway. sexual outlet and expression is natural...most of us aren't asexual. we can choose to smoke or drink...it's not a necessity. who we are naturally attracted to is another story.

there's also the side that views alcoholism as a disease which is passed on. this is just a complex issue.

[jbot]

for some people, yes. others, no.

[Raz]

The truth is better than living a lie for both parties. Things might even be better for the wife and kids now that dad finally figured his shit out.

Of course. I wasn't suggesting married gay men continue to live a lie, I was suggesting they be honest in the first place.

[B-Low]

My cousin is in the closet right now. He's told all the younger people in the family (he's 30) but he refuses to tell his parents because his mom and our grandparents are insanely religious. Whenever the whole family is together for holidays and birthdays they somehow ALWAYS manage to get on the subject of homosexuality and how wrong and disgusting it is and it sucks having to see him sit there and listen to all that.

Most times my sister and I will step in and say something about how there's nothing wrong with it and it's there choice etc, but they just keep saying "ew no" and my aunt even said "i'd kill myself if my kids ever turned out gay" and then laughed. He's 30 and has never had anyone. Never been able to have a real relationship with anybody, bring anyone around the family...its a rough life.

Same with one of my old roommates in college. This guy was f*ckin some of the hottest girls ive ever seen, had gf's all thru college, then about 2 years after we graduated he came out the closet and his parents (also very very religious) didn't speak to him for almost a year after that. They said he was possessed and didn't want anything to do with him. It's amazing how people will let stupid beliefs and ONE F*CKIN SENTENCE in the bible drive a wedge between them and their own children. It's disgusting really. I've lost so much respect for so many people because of it

[rufuspaul]

Most times my sister and I will step in and say something about how there's nothing wrong with it and it's there choice etc, but they just keep saying "ew no" and my aunt even said "i'd kill myself if my kids ever turned out gay" and then laughed. He's 30 and has never had anyone. Never been able to have a real relationship with anybody, bring anyone around the family...its a rough life.


That is so sad.

[Droid101]

what are people's thoughts on people that act out/come out later in life? i'm talking about guys that start a family, then at the age of 40 or 50 get in a gay relationship. they then say they were able to repress urges for years but how difficult it was and how they were living a false life, were unhappy and not being themselves.

just wondering what people think about that...societal pressures/culture making them bottle up those desires? so in essence, a result of fear and acceptance?
Happens a lot, especially with homophobes. They're trying to hide it by saying they hate it. Check it:

Top Ten Anti-Gay politicians who were later outed as being gay themselves (http://www.ranker.com/list/top-10-anti-gay-activists-caught-being-gay/joanne)