2012-2013 Power Rankings

[Pistol Pete]

Edition 1: Preseason

Included in each write up is who I deem to be the most important player to that team at the time of the writing. Note, this is not to say it's the best player, it's the player I believe can really make a significant impact, positive or negative, on the teams results this year.

1. D.R.A.K.E. (0-0-0)

Back to back championships, I get this spot by default even if my current team doesn't deserve the placing (it doesn't). D.R.A.K.E. heads into a season with a core of 6 stars surrounded by some intriguing and not so intriguing pieces. Depth will need to be addressed if hopes for a three peat are to be accomplished. However, the core 6, pending health, should ensure playoff contendership at the very least.

Most Important Player: Klay Thompson, the sophmore guard for the Warriors is being counted on to produce primetime numbers at the guard position for D.R.A.K.E. If Thompson can build off his late season emergence of last year, it will go a long way to making the three peat a reality. If he slumps or takes a backwards step, team D.R.A.K.E. will struggle to recover.


http://www.ballermindframe.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/klay-thompson.jpg
"Banging Threes and Cali Sluts est. 2011"

2. Keep Floatin' (0-0-0)

Keep Floatin' has been less than active in the trade market so far this year but has still been able to locate some deals that has rounded out his roster nicely. A key pickup already in getting the newly boosted Rocket James Harden should solidify his status among the early season title contenders. A well balanced roster anchored by Wade, Harden, Lee, and Noah should ensure a top finish is within reach.

Most Important Player: Tyrook Lovans, yes that is the bastard child of Tyreke Evans and Brook Lopez. Unable to figure out who is the most important piece, I decided to name both. Both are unquestionably talented players coming off bad seasons in uncertain situations (Sacramento crowded backcourt, Lopez lots of options in Brooklyn). If both rebound to prior form, Keep Floatin' could have a monster team, if both continue putrid efforts like last year, Keep Floatin could find himself lacking secondary punch behind his big stars.


http://www.nba.com/media/act_tyreke_evans.jpg
"Where da BBQ at?"

3. DZW (0-0-0)

The guy who seems like he's 80 but is just your standard 20 something conservative, together, polite Asian is back for another year. Perrenial contender and former Premier Champion DZW finds himself in familiar situation, with a stacked roster and an early claim for title favourite. Doing fine work once again inside the draft room, DZW came out with arguably the best draft in 2012. A balanced, deep roster headed by his own Jailblazers LaMarcus Aldridge and Nicolas Batum, DZW should find himself in the thick of it once again. For anyone who has played Premier, DZW's roster has a very "DZW" type feel to it, out of context that makes no sense, but if you've played with him, you should know, it's just solid. A roster full of value, upside, predictable production, and room for growth should ensure a spot in the playoffs for the Godfather.

Most Important Player: Jrue Holiday, DZW picked him high, and another 13/5/3 type year won't be sufficient if DZW is going to capture his 2nd premier title. Holiday will be depended on to make a significant leap in his production and efficiency as he leads a thin group of PGs (Darren Collison, DJ Augustin). If Holiday flops, DZW will have to put in a lot of leg work in the trade market to recover.


http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/1/1f/Jrue_Holliday_dribbling.jpg/280px-Jrue_Holliday_dribbling.jpg
"I really hope I don't let the Jedi Master down!"

4. iamgine (0-0-0)

A well defined strategy put in place to this manager's teams can create consistency. In his first season of Premier Basketball, he surprised everyone with a consistent, 2nd place regular season followed by a disappointing playoffs. The aim is the same once again as this roster is built to shoot the long ball and put up points, whether last year was a fluke or not, only time will tell. iamgine will present matchup problems for many rosters in Premier with it's overload on guard related stats. If players like Jeremy Lin and Ryan Anderson can replicate production of last year to insulate studs Kobe Bryant and Carmelo Anthony, iamgine should find himself back in the playoffs for the 2nd straight year, hopefully this time, with better results.

Most Important Player: Jeremy Lin, and arguably the most polarizing figure in the NBA. He exploded onto the scene last year with the New York Knicks, put up disgusting (good and bad depending on which category) numbers, then bolted for the Houston Rockets in the offseason. Now he takes over a young team that just acquired James Harden. Lin has had a horrible preseason and iamgine selected him very high so he needs production of last year to show itself once again. If not, iamgine could be hearing the whispers that he was simply a one hit wonder last season.


http://img2-2.timeinc.net/people/i/2012/news/120227/jeremy-lin-300.jpg
"Cashing cheques and making Asian Bitches Wet"

5. STAT (0-0-0)

STAT gets some early season dap following back to back disappointing Premier Basketball seasons. Making the biggest move of the preseason by unloading LeBron James in a blockbuster deal will undoubtedly define his season and provide lots of opportunity for second guessing. As a result of the trade, his team is deep in talent and upside. Now anchored by Brandon Jennings and Goran Dragic, he will need rebound seasons from the likes of Danilo Gallinari and Amare Stoudamire if he hopes to contend among the Premier elite. With arguably the deepest roster and some savvy preseason pick ups, STAT is currently in a very flexible position with where he can take his roster moving forward.

Most Important Player: STAT, Amare Stoudamire, taken early in the draft in what many would consider a reach, if he can wash the sand out of his ****** and get back to the intimidating force he used to be, it would be a massive boost the title chances of team STAT. However, if he continues to struggle to stay on the court and play ineffective when he does, it could spell trouble for STAT with a front court that has lots of question marks. Among them, will Omer Asik emerge as a consistent producer? Can Enes Kanter get the minutes in a stacked Jazz front court? Is Michael Beasley sober enough to put the ball in the hoop? How is David West' body going to hold up? Dynamic production from Stoudamire can put alot of these worries to rest.


http://jessebastien.files.wordpress.com/2007/10/nba_suns_amare_stoudemire6.jpg
"Don't worry STAT, cleanin my vag next!"

6. Minnesota White Boys (0-0-0)

A man who has struggled in years past, Vapid makes a preseason appearance among the top 6 of Premier. The roster this year is more appealing than in years past, but it's not without it's own concerns. At the moment, Andrew Bynum and his notorious health concerns will decide whether the Minnesota White Boys, whom oddly enough, are quite black, will succeed or flop. Huge optimism for Damian Lillard and an opportunity for Glen Davis in Orlando could provide the needed support to help the core of Nash, Igoudala, Smith, and Bynum and the rest of the Minnesota White Boys get over the hump and into the playoffs.

Most Important Player: This should be Andrew Bynum, because it's difficult to recover from having your 1st rounder not produce, but I'm going to go off the board a bit in honour of the team name and select the Minnesota White Boy himelf, Nikola Pekovic. Pekovic was a hot commodity in fantasy leagues last season and optimism on him had kind of simmered prior to draft day. If Pekovic can expand his game and production with the early season absence of Kevin Love and Ricky Rubio, the Minnesota White Boys could get off to a quick start that could fuel them the entire way. If Pekovic struggles in what should be a breakout year, a lack of certainty (Bynum - injury, Favors - playing time, Davis - talent) at the center position could potentially send the Minnesota White Boys searching for answers once again.


http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/8/82/Nikola_Pekovic_Timberwolves.jpg/220px-Nikola_Pekovic_Timberwolves.jpg
"Nikola make basket"

[Pistol Pete]

7. Milicic Mafia (0-0-0)

The two time defending Premier Basketball finalist is back in search of his elusive first Premier Basketball Title. The Milicic Mafia feature a fearsome trio in the backcourt of Rajon Rondo, Kyrie Irving, and Monta Ellis. However, up front, after Blake Griffin, questions galore. Can Javale McGee prove to be a necessary cog in the lineup that the Milicic Mafia will need him to be in order to make another deep run? Does Elton Brand have anything in the tank and is Tristan Thompson ready to contribute? I don't think all of this will work out and the Milicic Mafia will end up needing to use his surplus of riches in the backcourt to address the deficiencies in his front court. If he doesn't, the Milicic Mafia may find themselves looking from the outside all season long.

Most Important Player: Javale McGee, I'm not sure I'd ever be confident when Javale McGee is being counted on to provide meaningful production. Quite simply, he may be the dumbest athlete in professional sports. Currently backing up Kosta Koufus in Denver, he's currently not in position to provide the type of numbers the Milicic Mafia will need. If he can surpass Koufus and take a hold of the minutes, the Milicic Mafia could find themselves in positon to make a 3rd consecutive deep run. But you have to wonder about someone who cannot beat out Kosta Koufus in the first place.


http://nba-247.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/javale-mcgee-confused1.jpg
"...?"

8. Big Poppa PUMP (0-0-0)

LeBron. Paul George. Al Jefferson. After that, it gets ugly. Big Poppa PUMP in a suitable ode to Steiner is a lot of PUMP up top with not much to back it up behind. Early season injuries to Manu and Tyson Chandler could really hamper early season results and foreshadow the issues all season long. Big Poppa PUMP is counting on too many below average, unproven players in his top 10 (Jameer Nelson, Devin Harris, Jonas Valanciunas, etc) to currently threaten for a playoff spot. However, any time you got Lebron, you got a chance. As currently constructed, this is a respectable roster lacking secondary punch, Lebron will give opposing owners headaches, but the uncertainty in the bottom half of the roster will fail Big Poppa PUMP time and time again.

Most Important Player: Manu Ginobli, Big Poppa PUMP is desperately going to need someone to step up outside his big three. Tyson Chandler should be solid once he returns, but he's more of an efficiency player rather than someone who can have a truly meaningful impact on a roster. Ginobli is capable of putting up monster statistics in every category, but he's getting older, San Antonio is getting deeper, and his body is beginning to betray him. Early season reports of back problems could provide head aches for Big Poppa PUMP all season long. If he does get over them and provide production though, he could allow PUMP to have a monstrous core that could carry them closer to title aspirations.


http://momento24.com/en/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/manu.jpg
"I'll be ready for the playoffs boss!"

9. sizz (0-0-0)

Two time Premier Basketball Champion has vowed redemption is on his mind, after getting blasted in recent leagues, the key to this roster may be whether manager sizz can put in the time to lead it to the top. It's an unconventional setup, with Dwight Howard and a not so suitable surrounding cast. Though the pure talent level stacks up with the best of the best, there are major injury concerns galore on this roster. Can Curry and Eric Gordon get onto the court to provide the big numbers sizz will need in order to break back into the playoffs? Will Gerald Wallace' body hold up in Brooklyn? At this moment, team sizz has to many question marks and not enough answers, if things bounce his way, he should be in the thick of it. If notoriously prone players continue their ways, he may be looking at himself needing votes to get his redemption next year.

Most Important Player: Stephen Curry, a top 10 player when he's healthy and on the court, Curry has been hampered by ankle troubles again this season. If he can ever get over these problems, he could be a huge value coup for team sizz. However, recent history suggests that the body cannot hold up and that could end up sinking sizz' season before it begins. The performance of team sizz will live and die with that backcourt. As of right now, it's off to a shaky start.


http://img.fannation.com/upload/si_blog_post_images/72222/tx_curry_stephen_warriors.jpg
"9th place! Yes!"

10. Rameek Soul CRUSHER (0-0-0)

The Soul CRUSHER has come under fire for preseason trades but boasts a strong backcourt of CP3, Felton, and Jeff Teague. Uncertainty but upside at the swing positions with Thaddeus Young, Jared Dudley and rookie MKG will be critical to team success. If Nene can get healthy, Rameek has a solid chance to surprise. If he cannot get a breakout performance from his swings and he struggles with injury, the Soul CRUSHER could find his soul CRUSHED. The potential is present in the roster though with depth pieces like Kirilenko and Felton potentially on the brink of comeback seasons.

Most Important Player: Nene Hilario, which at the moment, may not be a good thing. The big man has been battling injury problems all preseason and with a severe lack of depth, the Soul CRUSHER will need to address his center position if Nene is unable to give him productive minutes. However, if Nene can get past his issues and back to being the top 60 player he has been in the past, Rameek may have a lot of members eating crow.


http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_M7_yPVHRcao/S-ClnNSJSkI/AAAAAAAAC0Y/hqHe-lv1CSs/s1600/nene-brazil.jpg
"Out 4 weeks with a case of Yellow Fever"

11. Diaper Dandies (0-0-0)

The Diaper Dandies are going to make noise when Kevin Love and Dirk Nowitzki return. The reason they find themselves in this spot is simply the injury situation. If healthy, this is a playoff contender and probably a solid 5 spots ahead of it's current ranking, but as is, it's going to be a grind for the Diaper Dandies to win categories. If he can survive the 3-5 weeks without his stars, the Diaper Dandies are plenty capable of making a run. Critical to early season success will be Tim Duncan, Kris Humphries, and Tony Parker, the Dandies cannot afford them to struggle.

Most Important Player: Dirk Nowitzki, the big German and his surgery are on a longer and less certain rehab than Kevin Love. The Dandies will need a productive Nowitzki as fast as possible to challenge for a title, if he suffers any setbacks during his rehab, it could turn out to be a long season for the Dandies. If they both recover well, legitimate title contention is not out of reach.


http://www.nba.com/media/act_dirk_nowitzki.jpg

12. Go Cows! (0-0-0)

Dunksby makes his premier debut with a less than flattering early season PR position. Some questionnable early draft selections along with an injury to John Wall has dunksby facing a trip back to the minors. If he can work around his depth issues, Go Cows! could push himself towards the middle of the pack. Go Cows! will have a chance to stuff it to me with a 1st round matchup.

Most Important Player: Demarcus Cousins, selected very high by Go Cows!, Cousins will need to improve the efficiency of his game in order to justify the selection. As it stands, questionnable shot selection are crushing to this uber talented big who shoots 44% from the field. If he can get to more advantageous spots on the court. He can be a force.


http://www.nba.com/media/act_demarcus_cousins.jpg
"No more fadeaway 20 footers coach, I promise"

13. Long Live ASAP 10/31 (0-0-0)


http://cache.ohinternet.com/images/thumb/2/2d/Trollface_HD.png/618px-Trollface_HD.png

14. lilojmayo (0-0-0)

A questionnable preseason trade has left team lilojmayo lacking depth in his roster. He will be entirely dependant on Russell Westbrook, Deron Williams and Mike Conley to get himself out of the gutter. To achieve success and avoid a bottom four finish, lilojmayo will need to address his putrid front court. As currently constructed, with a front court constructed of Chris Kaman, Emeka Okafor, and Eddy Curry, optimism is difficult to find. If he can make some adjustments and find some value, lilojmayo may push himself up the ranks.

Most Important Player: Russell Westbrook, he made a big move to acquire the point guard, now for better or worse, he'll need Westbrook to up his game to an even higher level to experience success. The lack of production in the front court is downright frightening to the point where even a huge campaign from Westbrook may not be enough without adjustment.


http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/6/6c/Russell_Westbrook.jpg/220px-Russell_Westbrook.jpg
"Why Not?

[D.Z.W.]

Man, I've definitely missed reading these sickkk PR's - great stuff :cheers:

[baseketball4life]

Man, I've definitely missed reading these sickkk PR's - great stuff :cheers:
Yeahhhhhh

You two should trade off weeks :cheers:

[baseketball4life]

nikola make basket

:roll: :roll: :roll:

[statman32]

Great work. :applause:

[Skywalker]

This won't be finished

[Rameek]

Good Job Pete you were suppose to be kinder to me though since I pushed you into it, look forward to the rest.

[Skywalker]

What kind of writer abandons an article..... Where is this f@gg0t?

[baseketball4life]

What kind of writer abandons an article..... Where is this f@gg0t?
Unlike you he actually takes the time to write quality thoughtful stuff.

Fist yourself. :confusedshrug:

[Skywalker]

Unlike you he actually takes the time to write quality thoughtful stuff.

Fist yourself. :confusedshrug:

????????????????????????????

lmfao

[baseketball4life]

????????????????????????????

lmfao
LMAOMALAMDOAMAOAOM at your rate :oldlol:

[Rameek]

I guess its a negative that I own Marc Gasol as well.

Well done Pete regardless!

[Pistol Pete]

Edition Two: Week 1

This will be a more condensed version for a few reasons, the main being it takes a long time. As well, a lack of significant changes on a week to week basis. If I keep doing these, I will try to do an extended version every month or so when we get a better feeling for how teams are doing. Onto the ranks where I will attempt to highlight impactful performances (good and bad) of each team.

1. D.R.A.K.E. (7-2-0) - Last Week: 1 (-) - Week 2 @ Milicic Mafia (5-4-0)

Begun his quest for a 3rd straight Premier League title with a convincing 7-2 win over Minors Champion Go Cows! Particularly impactful performance from trade acquisition Kyle Lowry who was the #1 rated player in the Yahoo! system Week 1. If D.R.A.K.E. can continue to get timely production from his supporting depth, the wins should continue to come. D.R.A.K.E. will renew his rivalry with back to back finalist Milicic Mafia in Week 2.

2. DZW (6-3-0) - Last Week: 3 (+1) - Week 2 vs iamgine (6-3-0)

DZW did what DZW do, although it was fairly close across the board, DZW picked up a convincing Week 1 win over two time Premier Basketball champion sizz. A fairly even spread out effort from the team produced the win but we'll give some love to Darren Collison who put up elite production for Week 1. At a position of questionable depth, if Collison can put up those numbers (17/7/3/1.7/1.3), DZW will be a force. Week 2 will see iamgine coming for DZW's spot in a match everyone will be watching closely.

3. iamgine (6-3-0) - Last Week: 4 (+1) - Week 2 @ DZW (6-3-0)

iamgine picked up right where he left off last year with another victory. Employing a similar strategy, iamgine took care of business in a convincing manner. Jamal Crawford has been a straight up beast, coming off the bench for the Clippers and playing a starring role for iamgine, dropping 25/3/1 per game with 3 threes per and amazing efficiency. Shout out to Kobe Bryant who tore it up and is playing at a high level himself. It won't get any easier when the matchup of the week goes down between iamgine and #2 ranked DZW.

4. Keep Floatin (6-3-0) - Last Week: 2 (-2) - Week 2 @ Gimme yer guards (7-2-0)

I don't really know what to make of Keep Floatin' first week, but it feels slightly underwhelming letting a depleted Diaper Dandies roster stay close. A confusing benching on Nikola Vucevic almost cost him a category, but a win is a win at the end of the week. The Beard James Harden is the obvious beast of the week for Keep Floatin and the entire league, a simply exceptional performance from the preseason acquisition, something that will be needed to keep his team in the title hunt. Keep Floatin' will have a chance to squash my doubts with a Week 2 tilt versus quick starter Gimme yer guards.

5. Milicic Mafia (5-4-0) - Last Week: 7 (+2) - Week 2 vs D.R.A.K.E. (7-2-0)

The Milicic Mafia started their quest for a title with a tight, close win over Big Poppa PUMP. As his guards go, so will his team, so we'll highlight Kyrie Irving starting off his sophmore season with a stellar week. You have to wonder if there is enough in the front court to make a legitimate run at the title. Pay close attention to Isaiah Thomas in Sacramento for a key player, shaky rotation and minutes could prove damaging to the Milicic Mafia's chances. He will get a chance for revenge for two title losses vs D.R.A.K.E. in Week 2.

6. Ovinton J'Anthony (3-6-0) - Last Week: 5 (-1) - Week 2 @ Diaper Dandies (3-6-0)

On one hand, it was a smashing 6-3 loss, but you need to look at the bigger picture and give iamgine credit for being one of the best teams in the league. Looking at the numbers, Ovinton J'Anthony still put up a respectable effort, just beaten by the better team this week. We'll take the easy way out and highlight OJ Mayo who dropped 12 threes this week in a losing effort. Credit to David West who balled out and made it known his crusty corpse was still capable of filling the sheet. Ovinton J'Anthony will need to rebound in a big way versus a depleted Diaper Dandies roster.

7. Big Poppa PUMP (4-5-0) - Last Week: 8 (+1) - Week 2 @ Rameek Soul CRUSHER (6-3-0)

Big Poppa PUMP fell defeat to the Mafia in a tight 5-4 match. Despite it, they move up because of some disappointing efforts of others. This looks to be a solid team, though it is lacking heavily in threes and assists. Paul George will need to continue to be a beast across the board for any chance of playoffs. If the Big Poppa can address his needs, he should be able to narrowly edge out a win in Week 2 versus the Soul CRUSHER Rameek. If not, he may find himself falling further behind.

8. Rameek Soul CRUSHER (6-3-0) - Last Week: 10 (+2) - Week 2 vs Big Poppa PUMP (4-5-0)

Amidst scrutiny, the Soul CRUSHER consumed his first victim with a convincing 6-3 win over Team OJ Mayo. Chris Paul got off to a real nice start to his 12-13 season, though I'm sure the CRUSHER would love to see more points. Nevertheless, it is a week thrived without the production of Nene. If he can keep succeeding without Nene, that could end up being a big boost. Rameek finds himself with a tougher matchup in Week 2 with Big Poppa PUMP.

9. Gimme yer guards (7-2-0) - Last Week: 13 (+4) - Week 2 vs Keep Floatin' (6-3-0)

A convincing, but questionnable win for Gimme yer guards in Week 1 over the Minnesota White Boys. It is still the reason for the biggest boost in the PRs up the spot #9. Facing a team without it's 3 best players and forgetting to set its lineup, it's difficult to pinpoint where this team is at. There is no doubt that Wes Matthews was a beast in a much needed way for this team which definitely does need guards. One has to wonder about the durability concerns that were evident in preseason as Danny Granger is still out, Anthony Davis has gotten hurt, Andrew Bogut looks like a cripple and the roster is old. Gimme yer guards may be in for a reality check in Week 2 versus Keep Floatin'

10. Diaper Dandies (3-6-0) - Last Week: 11 (+1) -- Week 2 vs Ovinton J'Anthony (3-6-0)

They weren't close to victory, but I'm liking the Dandies ability to squeeze out even 3 categories versus a quality opponent. The door was open for a 4th but Gasol and Jamison couldn't come through. The key is just keep it close, I feel like any time they walk away with three categories is a moral victory. A nice showing from the Spurs pair of Parker and Duncan who showed they both have plenty left in the tank. It won't get much easier for the Dandies as they face a Ovinton J'Anthony team who will be desperate to rebound off a Week 1 loss.

11. Minnesota White Boys (2-7-0) - Last Week: 6 (-5) - Week 2 @ Team OJ Mayo (3-6-0)

It may be overly harsh, but this weeks big dropper is the Minnesota White Boys who put in an uninspiring performance against Gimme yer guards. Part of the drop comes from not setting a lineup, while some sympathy is due with the absence of Andrew Bynum, Josh Smith and a leg injury to Steve Nash. The MWB do have to be impressed with the huge start of rookie Damian Lillard. Lillard will need to be huge because Week 2 versus a weak Team OJ Mayo is an early season MUST WIN.

12. sizz (3-6-0) - Last Week: 9 (-3) - Week 2 vs Go Cows! (2-7-0)

The drop reflects more a lack of belief in the long term chances of the team than the Week 1 performance versus a strong DZW team. The loss of Eric Gordon indefinitely stings, and one has to wonder whether drafting Dwight Howard then not committing to the conventional strategy will end up sinking this team. Sizz has to be happy with the performance of Stephen Curry who shook off preseason ankle troubles to provide his elite per game production. Adjustments will be absolutely necessary and crucial and week 2 versus a questionable Go Cows! squad will provide opportunity for rebound.

13. Go Cows! (2-7-0) - Last Week: 12 (-1) - Week 2 @ sizz (3-6-0)

Welcome to Premier Go Cows! Can't say I didn't warn you. A stinging 7-2 loss to begin his Premier League career, Go Cows! will must be pleased with the production of his Phoenix duo in the middle of Marcin Gortat and Luis Scola. Both put up big numbers that will surely be needed if the Go Cows! roster is going to turn it around. There are still lots of holes in the roster but maybe a Week 1 reality check will provide the motivation to make the adjustments. He'll get a Week 2 reprieve in an easier matchup versus sizz.

14. Team OJ Mayo (3-6-0) - Last Week: 14 (-) - Week 2 vs Minnesota White Boys (2-7-0)

It's tough to find the silver lining in the performance. The team was unbalanced and talent in the middle was non existant going in. Despite that, the manager refused to adjust. In return, he received a beatdown from the Soul CRUSHER. Team OJ Mayo has to be relieved at the fact Kevin Martin produced in a big way in his new role with the OKC Thunder, but his roster is still filled with holes that he'll need savvy pickups to fill. He gets a chance to redeem himself with a depleted MWB roster missing the likes of Andrew Bynum and Steve Nash in Week 2.

[D.Z.W.]

Great stuff as usual :cheers:

[Pistol Pete]

Edition Three: Half-Assed

1. D.R.A.K.E. (14-4-0) - Please, someone challenge me, this is too easy, no Lowry, no problem, another massacre that was locked up by mid week. Will it be sizz? Let's be real, no.

2. DZW (11-7-0) - Maybe there is something to this capitalized abbreviated team name, or maybe me and DZW are the only intelligent people in the league, you be the judge, either way, another win for the Zealot over a game opponent in iamgine. Poor Diaper Dandies going to take it this week.

3. Mistadobalina (12-5-1) - This feels wrong but noone has exposed him yet and tons of people have looked like shit, so this is where he goes. His guard play has turned out better than expected, and he did dump his corpses early, which will help greatly, still a team with severe flaws though, just not as flawed as the shitters everyone else is showcasing. Maybe STAT can restore order, but I'm not holding my breathe.

4. iamgine (10-8-0) - A tight loss to DZW is something to be respected, if you can get 4 categories out of known schedule trouble spots, you are doing well for yourself. Team still looks solid and he should get a boost by slaughtering Go Cows! this week.

5. Keep Floatin' (9-8-1) - Pretty disappointing effort allowing Sky to run the show, and after taking on the Dandies in Week 1, this seems like the only test of the year has been a loss. Long term potential of the team still looks playoff worthy and James Harden should rebound, should crush Team OJ Mayo or else changes will be needed.

6. Rameek Soul Crusher (11-7-0) - Hard to argue with two wins, after facing a lot of heat, the easiest way to get silence is to produce and that's what Rameek has done. A pretty convincing win over PLRs sets up another solid test with Truth in Week 3, if he can grab another W, sleeper alert status will be official.

7. Ovinton J'Anthony (8-10-0) - Moves down despite a 5-4 victory because it's the Dandies and this should have been a clear rebound week, still has strong playoff ambitions but may find himself in a little bit of a hole if his week 3 opponent Sky is for real.

8. Milicic Mafia (7-11-0) - I won't hold it against you too much for getting throttled by me yet again. In life, there are people who have your number, I think we're at this point in Fantasy Basketball. Solid team who might struggle to find a win in Week 3 versus an underestimated Soul Crusher squad.

9. Big Poppa PUMP (8-10-0) - Another week, another close loss in an upset. This should be a team that stays around the 7-9 range and threatens a late season push, but close losses won't get it done. Week 3 vs the Minnesota White Boys is now a must win if this team is to garner any respect.

10. sizz (10-8-0) - Still not crazy about it, but pulled away late on Sunday for a win over what is looking like a league doormat. Activity and desire still very much in question, along with major concerns about team composition, doesn't get any easier with a Week 3 match with League Champ D.R.A.K.E.

11. Team OJ Mayo (9-9-0) - Earned himself a bit of respect with a nice 6-3 win over the MWB this week. Still major concerns about the depth of his roster, managerial add/drops, and whether or not the necessary adjustments can be made, but for this week, it was a solid performance worthy of getting out of the basement. Has a chance to get some more love if a Week 3 victory can be secured.

12. Diaper Dandies (7-11-0) - Actually a really good week overall given context of the situation but losses move you down and it again highlights that wins are going to be real tough to come by for the first 4-6 weeks of the season. Absolutely critical that the Dandies avoid the 8-1 type blowouts, but that may be tough with DZW on the schedule next week. If healthy, a playoff contender.

13. Minnesota White Boys (5-13-0) - Blowout losses to OJ Mayo and Sky have to be damn near rock bottom for Vapid. In desperate need of some of his injuries to return, this could get ugly faster than it improves. No pleasant way to spin this mess, this team is awful right now.

14. Go Cows! (4-14-0) - A beatdown from a weaker team, his second massacre of the year, and a strong opponent staring at him in Week 3. A lack of activity, and possibly an inability to adjust loom over this roster. Welcome to Premier dunksby, a 14th place finish and a trip back to the Minors is staring back at you.

[D.Z.W.]

:applause:

[Skywalker]

good stuff

[Pistol Pete]

Edition Four: ****

1. D.R.A.K.E. (26-10-0) - WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

2. Mistadobalina (23-13-0) - 4-0. YOU'RE NEXT DUNKSBY!

3. DZW (23-13-0) - BY GAWD KING, THATS RICH CHO'S MUSIC!!!!!!!!!!

4. Rameek SOUL CRUSHER (19-17-0) - A LITTLE ARETHA FRANKLIN... R.E.S.P.E.C.T. FOR A TEAM THAT ISNT GETTING ENOUGH OF IT.

5. Big Poppa PUMPIN (22-14-0) - MEEK LOSS DOESNT LOOK BAD IN HINDSIGHT, SCOTTY STEINER TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS LATELY.

6. imagine (19-17-0) - GOD SPEED THIS WEEK. MAY YOU SUFFER A BETTER FATE THAN YOUR BROTHER AUSTIN TIAN.

7. Ovinton J'Anthony (17-19-0) - UNDERWHELMING RESULTS PRODUCES UNDERWHELMING RANK. DOWN FALL OF SEASON MAY BE INABILITY TO PUNISH SOFT SPOTS IN SCHEDULE.

8. sizz (19-17-0) - PUTTING UP A LITTLE BIT MORE RESISTANCE THAN A DRUGGED UP HOOKER FOR THE FIRST TIME IN THREE YEARS.

9. Team OJ Mayo (20-16-0) - OVER .500 STILL, I'M SHOCKED. THAT'S ALL I HAVE TO SAY. I'M SHOCKED.

10. Minnesota White Boys (14-22-0) - JESUS THE BOTTOM 5 IS UGLY, MWB GETS THE NOD BECAUSE HIS ONE WIN WAS SOMEWHAT RESPECTABLE, THATS GOOD ENOUGH.

11. Keep Floating (13-23-0) - ONLY WIN OVER A LIMP DICK DIAPER DANDIES SQUAD. GETS A BOOST IN RATINGS FOR STEALING KEVIN LOVE. TEAM YET TO PRODUCE ANYTHING ACTUALLY POSITIVE.

12. Diaper Dandies (13-23-0) - I GIVE IT TO HIM OVER THE MAFIA BECAUSE HE WON LAST WEEK, EVEN THOUGH IT WAS AN UNINSPIRING WIN OVER DUNSKBY. DIVERTING FROM STRATEGY WILL PROVE TO BE CRITICAL ERROR, DIRK NEEDED DESPERATELY TO TURN THIS SHIP AROUND.

13. Milicic Mafia (13-23-0) - PROBABLY DESERVES TO BE RANKED HIGHER BUT JESUS CHRIST, PICKING THE BOTTOM 5 IS LIKE HANDICAPPING THE 100M DASH AT THE SPECIAL OLYMPICS, SHIT IS IMPOSSIBLE.

14. Go Cows! (11-25-0) - DUNKSBY IS CURRENTLY PRAYING HE CAN GET TRADED TO THE MINORS LEAGUE AT THE TRADE DEADLINE. JESUS CHRIST. WHAT A DISGRACE, HE MAY GO WINLESS, AND AFTER ALL THAT SHIT HE TALKED, JUST AN EMBARASSMENT.

[D.Z.W.]

:eek:

[Rameek]

How come we dont have these anymore?