i need advice, just found out the girl im sleeping with is pregnant.

[nathanjizzle]

the girl im friends with but sleeping with is pregnant. my concerns are
1. how do i know its mine, if im unsure how do i go about it for the next 9 months.
2. what do i do from here

i do not want to have a child, and i think she does not either but i could be wrong. any fathers out there or anyone not expecting a baby at a young age have any advice for me? i think the first thing i should do is to talk with her to see what her intentions are with her pregnancy and what i want. BTW this is the girl that was answering ishes questions about a month ago in a thread.

[plowking]

You came to the right place for advice.

[Faptastrophe]

Find out now how much a dna paternity costs and start saving now.

[bagelred]

Well if you both don't want a child and you aren't an evangelical Christian.....then the choice might be pretty easy.

[NuYorkKnicks]

Give is a sample of her pee 7 days from now, ISH will determine if your the father.

[Qwyjibo]

Pressure her into an abortion if she wants to keep it. Tell her that you will have nothing to do with it and make her realize how hard it will be to raise it alone. You're basically burning all bridges with her at that point but it'll be worth it in the long run for you.

Pull out all the stops (at least legal ones) to save your life.

[nathanjizzle]

shes 2 weeks in is there any pill for this? im scared as **** right now

[SourPatchKids]

As usual, ISH with the best advice available. :applause:

[Faptastrophe]

shes 2 weeks in is there any pill for this? im scared as **** right now

There are thousands of couples out there who can't conceive but would love to raise a child. It's something to consider.

[IcanzIIravor]

the girl im friends with but sleeping with is pregnant. my concerns are
1. how do i know its mine, if im unsure how do i go about it for the next 9 months.
2. what do i do from here

i do not want to have a child, and i think she does not either but i could be wrong. any fathers out there or anyone not expecting a baby at a young age have any advice for me? i think the first thing i should do is to talk with her to see what her intentions are with her pregnancy and what i want. BTW this is the girl that was answering ishes questions about a month ago in a thread.

Before she became pregnant was she banging you and some other guy/guys or is it now that she is pregnant you hope she was running trains so that the baby isn't yours and you can walk away from impending responsibility should she forgo an abortion?

[bigkingsfan]

http://nebulousmooch.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/hanger.jpg

[SourPatchKids]

Stock up on a vareity of neckties, you never know when they may come in handy.

[LamarOdom]

The morning after pill only works up to five days after so abortion is the only option now.

[nathanjizzle]

Before she became pregnant was she banging you and some other guy/guys or is it now that she is pregnant you hope she was running trains so that the baby isn't yours and you can walk away from impending responsibility should she forgo an abortion?

we were on a friendship only basis so she could have been having sex with other guys. ive only known her for a month prior to her being pregnant.

i think thats something i need to ask her if she knows it mine

[SourPatchKids]

http://nebulousmooch.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/hanger.jpg
Plan C

[IcanzIIravor]

we were on a friendship only basis so she could have been having sex with other guys. ive only known her for a month prior to her being pregnant.

i think thats something i need to ask her if she knows it mine

Friendship basis and you've known her just a month and already no condom? :biggums:

I'd reach threw this screen and smack you upside the head. Now you're screwed. If you ask her 'Are you sure its mine' you open up a can of worms, yet because you don't know her you pretty much have to ask her if you're the only one she is sleeping with. So any relationship that you might have is pretty much screwed because you didn't wrap up. I doubt she will willingly go with a paternity test as she will feel pretty damn insulted so you're going to have to fight it out in the courts and pray the kid isn't yours. If the kid is yours then you're doubly damned because you'll have a pissed off baby mama. :cheers:

[nathanjizzle]

Friendship basis and you've known her just a month and already no condom? :biggums:

I'd reach threw this screen and smack you upside the head. Now you're screwed. If you ask her 'Are you sure its mine' you open up a can of worms, yet because you don't know her you pretty much have to ask her if you're the only one she is sleeping with. So any relationship that you might have is pretty much screwed because you didn't wrap up. I doubt she will willingly go with a paternity test as she will feel pretty damn insulted so you're going to have to fight it out in the courts and pray the kid isn't yours. If the kid is yours then you're doubly damned because you'll have a pissed off baby mama. :cheers:

bitch told me she was on bc.:facepalm

[Math2]

bitch told me she was on bc.:facepalm

Great excuse. Forego anything YOU could do to stop pregnancy....for what reason?

[longhornfan1234]

Pay for her to get an abortion. America doesn't need more unwanted kids.

[RaininTwos]

I know the feeling all too well

[L.Kizzle]

Congratulations.

[Fallguy20]

As someone who was an unwanted pregnancy and later adopted, consider giving up the kid but going through with it. That is always your best bet I would say, especially if she is a young mother too. You don't come off as the DB, she feels good about it in the long run.

[code green]

One of you three needs to die, it's on you to decide which one.

[The_Yearning]

One of you three needs to die, it's on you to decide which one.

Well... it's actually one or two of you will die.

[Balla_Status]

Consider adoption.

If she decides to keep it, time to man up and become a daddy. Don't be a little bitch.

Don't get an abortion.

[ace23]

:roll:

You hit it raw with a chick you've known for a month? Yeah, you're the only guy she's sleeping with. :roll:

My advice: Go back in time and wrap up.

[nathanjizzle]

:roll:

You hit it raw with a chick you've known for a month? Yeah, you're the only guy she's sleeping with. :roll:

My advice: Go back in time and wrap up.


:roll: :roll: .......................stfu bitch

[NotYetGreat]

Start learning how to dance.

http://guycodeblog.mtv.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/best-reaction.gif

[ace23]

:roll: :roll: .......................stfu bitch
She probably gets around, so there's a chance it's not yours.

You might have something, though. Get tested.

[bigdaddyfunk]

I feel for you man. Go the abortion route. Sorry but raising a kid with a chick you ain't even cool with will never go right.

[Meticode]

I hope she has the child. People need to man up when they make mistakes and make the best of them and not be cowards.

[outbreak]

Get an abortion. In other news your an idiot if you've only known her a month and aren't using anything

[red1]

use your vacuum's hose attachment and suck the fetus out quick before it gets too big

[General]

Man up and raise your child or at least support it with child support if it is yours. Last thing we need is another single mom on welfare. Abortion is murder, so I don't think killing your child should be an option.

[MMM]

Man up and raise your child or at least support it with child support if it is yours. Last thing we need is another single mom on welfare. Abortion is murder, so I don't think killing your child should be an option.

When is a fetus considered a person???
in islam i've read passages that it occurs 40-120 days and that abortion is permissible up to that point. What does the scientific community and other religions say on the matter and would it impact the abortion debate in a significant manner. I could imagine that even if it was proven that a fetus was not a person until later stages of development that there would still many people who still felt it is murder.

[Droid101]

Pressure her into an abortion if she wants to keep it. Tell her that you will have nothing to do with it and make her realize how hard it will be to raise it alone. You're basically burning all bridges with her at that point but it'll be worth it in the long run for you.

Pull out all the stops (at least legal ones) to save your life.
:roll:

If you follow this idiot's advice, you're paying 18 years of child support (or more).

Be a man.

[MavsSuperFan]

I hope she has the child. People need to man up when they make mistakes and make the best of them and not be cowards.

Is that fair to the kid? Not being born is not the worst thing in the world.

I would recommend adoption. If your not ready for kids, and you attempt to raise them, your not being fair. Especially to the child.

Are you ready to raise the child with this girl?
Are you ready to put this child's interest above your own?
Are you financially ready to raise a child?

If not consider being selfless and putting this child in a position where it has a better chance to succeed.

[Loneshot]

You guys could get at least five grand for that kid if you're wiling. Split the profits.

[DeuceWallaces]

When is a fetus considered a person???
in islam i've read passages that it occurs 40-120 days and that abortion is permissible up to that point. What does the scientific community and other religions say on the matter and would it impact the abortion debate in a significant manner. I could imagine that even if it was proven that a fetus was not a person until later stages of development that there would still many people who still felt it is murder.

It's a person if you're a right wing idiot who wants to control a woman's body.

[LJJ]

OP needs to do the world a favor and get a vasectomy. Not only does he not want to have children, the rest of the world would be better off without those inferior genes tainting the pool as well.

[MavsSuperFan]

:roll:

If you follow this idiot's advice, you're paying 18 years of child support (or more).

Be a man.

That's not fair to the child. IMO if you have to tell a male to man up and be a good father, it is unlikely he will be a good father. Good fathers look forward to having kids and take steps necessary to prepare for it.

[Draz]

That's not fair to the child. IMO if you have to tell a male to man up and be a good father, it is unlikely he will be a good father. Good fathers look forward to having kids and take steps necessary to prepare for it.
Excellent post.

[longhornfan1234]

Keeping a baby you can

[ripthekik]

this is what you do:

http://images04.olx.com.sg/ui/2/49/05/17484405_1.jpg

http://i.ytimg.com/vi/W-pBUGh5mLs/0.jpg

[millwad]

Sure, OP, we believe you..

You're 13 years old..

[Qwyjibo]

:roll:

If you follow this idiot's advice, you're paying 18 years of child support (or more).

Be a man.
You're paying money either way (helping to raise it or child support). At least this way you are not wasting a large chunk of your life by being burdened with a child. It's definitely being an "awful person" but I'll take being an awful person while still having my life to live as I choose. Then again, I personally wouldn't make this mistake. Just in case though.

[MavsSuperFan]

[QUOTE=longhornfan1234]Keeping a baby you can

[KingBeasley08]

Its called protection Jeremy Lin :facepalm

[General]

People who defend abortion vigorously are usually the people who have taken a part in one and are trying to free themselves from guilt. You should have worn a condom, made sure she was on birth control, maybe abstain from sex until you are ready to have a child(unlikely). Now it's too late, if you stop now and do nothing she will have a baby... If you opt for an abortion, she won't have a baby. Simple as that. To kill or not to kill.

[LJJ]

People who defend abortion vigorously are usually the people who have taken a part in one and are trying to free themselves from guilt. You should have worn a condom, made sure she was on birth control, maybe abstain from sex until you are ready to have a child(unlikely). Now it's too late, if you stop now and do nothing she will have a baby... If you opt for an abortion, she won't have a baby. Simple as that. To kill or not to kill.

This is your method I'm sure.

[chosen_one6]

The good thing is that you found out early. Basically let her know all of the options: you can keep it, give the baby up for adoption, or have an abortion. Let her know that a baby is not in the best interest for either of you. State that you don't have the money for a child and that she doesn't either. Let her know you still have goals in life that you want to accomplish, and that she does too. It's important to make it sound like you BOTH are dealing with this and not that it's only about what you want or what she wants. Also, let her know that you would want to have a child in the best possible scenario, which is you being financially stable and having a stable home. Tell her that because you don't know each other well, that there's a very good chance the baby will stress the two of you so much that it will strain the relationship and cause the two of you to split, leaving the baby without a father. Tell her that you DO NOT want the baby without the full support of both parents. The great thing about finding out early is that an abortion is extremely simple. All she does is take a pill, and the egg gets flushed out of her system (much like a period, only with more blood and tissue). There won't be a fetus so she won't feel so bad about it emotionally and mentally. The faster you convince her that having a child is not in the best interest of either you or her, the better.

However, I do need to add that if she does end up keeping the child, you need to be there and support her 100%. It's only your duty as the father of the child.

[rezznor]

your solution:

http://i48.photobucket.com/albums/f226/BadDNA/Theme%20Photos/2d351441.gif

[MavsSuperFan]

People who defend abortion vigorously are usually the people who have taken a part in one and are trying to free themselves from guilt. You should have worn a condom, made sure she was on birth control, maybe abstain from sex until you are ready to have a child(unlikely). Now it's too late, if you stop now and do nothing she will have a baby... If you opt for an abortion, she won't have a baby. Simple as that. To kill or not to kill.

It's a zygote not a person. You can only abort a baby in the first 20 weeks to the best of my knowledge. At that point it's not a life.

Do you consider guys who *********e to be mass murderers? What about women who have a period?

[MavsSuperFan]

The good thing is that you found out early. Basically let her know all of the options: you can keep it, give the baby up for adoption, or have an abortion. Let her know that a baby is not in the best interest for either of you. State that you don't have the money for a child and that she doesn't either. Let her know you still have goals in life that you want to accomplish, and that she does too. It's important to make it sound like you BOTH are dealing with this and not that it's only about what you want or what she wants. Also, let her know that you would want to have a child in the best possible scenario, which is you being financially stable and having a stable home. Tell her that because you don't know each other well, that there's a very good chance the baby will stress the two of you so much that it will strain the relationship and cause the two of you to split, leaving the baby without a father. Tell her that you DO NOT want the baby without the full support of both parents. The great thing about finding out early is that an abortion is extremely simple. All she does is take a pill, and the egg gets flushed out of her system (much like a period, only with more blood and tissue). There won't be a fetus so she won't feel so bad about it emotionally and mentally. The faster you convince her that having a child is not in the best interest of either you or her, the better.

However, I do need to add that if she does end up keeping the child, you need to be there and support her 100%. It's only your duty as the father of the child.

Consider what is best for the child too. Being raised by people unprepared for parenthood is not conducive to future success.

[LJJ]

It's a zygote not a person. You can only abort a baby in the first 20 weeks to the best of my knowledge. At that point it's not a life.

That's a pure legal status you are referring to. I some countries it is considered a person, in some it isn't. It's more of philosophical question than a scientific one.

At what point would you consider a fetus a person?

[outbreak]

That's a pure legal status you are referring to. I some countries it is considered a person, in some it isn't. It's more of philosophical question than a scientific one.

At what point would you consider a fetus a person?

At the point it's aborted it's a mass of cells. Any one anti abortion is a fool, why does it matter what other people do to you? Don't have better things to do with your life other then trying to prevent other people from their own choices about their own bodies? And no I've never taken part in any abortion and neither have any of my friends but they all laugh at these idiots who try and argue it shouldn't be allowed. It's common sense people. If your banning that let's ban people jacking off, same result let's see how quick the douchebags drop their arguments then.

[LJJ]

At the point it's aborted it's a mass of cells. Any one anti abortion is a fool, why does it matter what other people do to you? Don't have better things to do with your life other then trying to prevent other people from their own choices about their own bodies? And no I've never taken part in any abortion and neither have any of my friends but they all laugh at these idiots who try and argue it shouldn't be allowed. It's common sense people. If your banning that let's ban people jacking off, same result let's see how quick the douchebags drop their arguments then.

A mass of cells is what every living thing is, including you. So why can't your parents choose to abort you right now?

Why is it okay to abort a baby at 20 weeks, but not at 30 weeks? Why not at 40, or 50 weeks? It's still an interesting philosophical question, you don't have to be in favor of or against abortion to see this.

[NotYetGreat]

Its called protection Jeremy Lin :facepalm

Holy shit. :roll: :roll: :roll:

[Heilige]

time for you to go to babynames.com

[Balla_Status]

Consider what is best for the child too. Being raised by people unprepared for parenthood is not conducive to future success.

Cop out...some parents that aren't ready turn out fine. No saying I'm pro-life but I would never encourage an abortion.

[Brunch@Five]

The good thing is that you found out early. Basically let her know all of the options: you can keep it, give the baby up for adoption, or have an abortion. Let her know that a baby is not in the best interest for either of you. State that you don't have the money for a child and that she doesn't either. Let her know you still have goals in life that you want to accomplish, and that she does too. It's important to make it sound like you BOTH are dealing with this and not that it's only about what you want or what she wants. Also, let her know that you would want to have a child in the best possible scenario, which is you being financially stable and having a stable home. Tell her that because you don't know each other well, that there's a very good chance the baby will stress the two of you so much that it will strain the relationship and cause the two of you to split, leaving the baby without a father. Tell her that you DO NOT want the baby without the full support of both parents. The great thing about finding out early is that an abortion is extremely simple. All she does is take a pill, and the egg gets flushed out of her system (much like a period, only with more blood and tissue). There won't be a fetus so she won't feel so bad about it emotionally and mentally. The faster you convince her that having a child is not in the best interest of either you or her, the better.

However, I do need to add that if she does end up keeping the child, you need to be there and support her 100%. It's only your duty as the father of the child.

good post.

I have a little girl, turning 3 this december. I never was in a relationship with the mother, but it has turned out incredibly well, because
a) she is a great mother and sacrifices a lot
b) I took responsibility and care about my daughter, financially as well as emotionally
c) both our parents support us

I was 20 at the time and wasn't prepared for this at all. I asked her to have an abortion early on, but now I'm glad she didn't, and also that she doesn't chastise me for it. In hindsight I would not try to pressure her into an abortion again.

So if you feel that a), b) and c) would go similarly in your situation, don't be depressed. Good people will work a situation like this out. If, however, any of the 3 factors are in doubt, you should be in doubt too.
If your friend is willing to have an abortion, dealing with it emotionally will (fortunately for you) be a problem for her, not for you. So in that case, man up and pay for it.

[nathanjizzle]

thanks guys for the advice. today im feeling a little bit better. i talked to her and she said she was going to keep it and would never consider abortion. I myself would'nt try to convince her of it or force her too. I asked her if she was 100 percent sure it was mine, and she said there is a chance it could be her ex because she was with him a week prior to what she believes was the conception date. i also asked her about her birth control and she said a few days prior she forgot to take it. So i asked her when she was with her boyfriend if she missed any days and she said there were a few days she forgot to take it also. She hasnt told her Ex yet because she is "sure" it is mine, and will only let him know after my paternity test. We could have a paternity test done when the baby is old enough during pregnancy.

[General]

thanks guys for the advice. today im feeling a little bit better. i talked to her and she said she was going to keep it and would never consider abortion.
:applause:

[Qwyjibo]

thanks guys for the advice. today im feeling a little bit better. i talked to her and she said she was going to keep it and would never consider abortion. I myself would'nt try to convince her of it or force her too. I asked her if she was 100 percent sure it was mine, and she said there is a chance it could be her ex because she was with him a week prior to what she believes was the conception date. i also asked her about her birth control and she said a few days prior she forgot to take it. So i asked her when she was with her boyfriend if she missed any days and she said there were a few days she forgot to take it also. She hasnt told her Ex yet because she is "sure" it is mine, and will only let him know after my paternity test. We could have a paternity test done when the baby is old enough during pregnancy.
Congratulations, your life is (probably) over. Then again, if all this is true, you have only yourself to blame.

[ballup]

Keep hittin' that. She's pregnant so you can't impregnate her again for quite some time.

[Meticode]

You're paying money either way (helping to raise it or child support). At least this way you are not wasting a large chunk of your life by being burdened with a child. It's definitely being an "awful person" but I'll take being an awful person while still having my life to live as I choose. Then again, I personally wouldn't make this mistake. Just in case though.
Damn, that's so selfish.

[Balla_Status]

Damn, that's so selfish.

Probably an Obama supporter.

I agree with you. Deadbeat parents are the worst. Take care of your kids. Kids require a lot of attention but they're pretty badass.

[Meticode]

Probably an Obama supporter.

I agree with you. Deadbeat parents are the worst. Take care of your kids. Kids require a lot of attention but they're pretty badass.
:oldlol:

My daughter wasn't planned at all. But I wouldn't change the fact she exists. I have to give up a lot of things for myself and I don't regret it.

I don't know, I think if we went through with an abortion or something I would have regrets later in life.

[DetroitPiston]

GIVE ME AN "A"! GIVE ME A "B"! GIVE ME AN "O" GIVE ME AN "R" and you know the rest.

[Qwyjibo]

Damn, that's so selfish.
I know. I don't deny it either. It's a horrible thing to do but I can't stand children and I can't see myself ever giving up 16-20 years taking care of another human being. Life is too short for that. That's why option A is always an abortion :lol

[Meticode]

I know. I don't deny it either. It's a horrible thing to do but I can't stand children and I can't see myself ever giving up 16-20 years taking care of another human being. Life is too short for that. That's why option A is always an abortion :lol
If people are super-serious that about it, get the snip snip. I remember a co-worker of mine said she doesn't want any kids at all and she was engaged. And she didn't foresee any in the future. Most of the other women there were like "OMG Why?" And I'm like, "Why are you judging her? She's taking the personal responsibility of not bringing another human being into this world unwanted."

Then I said out loud to all the women there which was probably 7 or 8 of them, "I bet between all you women half of your pregnancies were accidents and not planned. What's wrong with her taking measures to not have a child when she doesn't want one?"

Half of them looked at me nasty as hell, but they didn't say anything.

[red1]

I know. I don't deny it either. It's a horrible thing to do but I can't stand children and I can't see myself ever giving up 16-20 years taking care of another human being. Life is too short for that. That's why option A is always an abortion :lol
who woulda known Q is a closet scumbag lmao

[AK47DR91]

I'm 50/50 if I want kids or not. I'm scared I can't be a good dad. My "pop" was a deadbeat.

[Qwyjibo]

who woulda known Q is a closet scumbag lmao
:lol

Don't worry. I'm too smart to ever get into that situation. Just an absolute last resort desperation scumbag option.

[chazzy]

Follow the same course of action you took the last time you quit something, involving throwing something into a lake



jk, that's one of my biggest fears. Wrap it up dude.

[ace23]

I know. I don't deny it either. It's a horrible thing to do but I can't stand children and I can't see myself ever giving up 16-20 years taking care of another human being. Life is too short for that. That's why option A is always an abortion :lol
What a selfish mother****er.

I feel the same way tbh. Wouldn't ever put myself in OP's position, though.

[Meticode]

Don't call me a coward, homie.
If that's the route you take, I see you as a coward.

[IcanzIIravor]

If that's the route you take, I see you as a coward.

Macho Man is going to give you a flying elbow from the top rope.

[InspiredLebowski]

How old're you?

You, the girl, and both sets of parents need to sit down and discuss it. Find out if she's open to carrying it to birth and if so talk to an adoption agency straight away. Make sure the agency discusses the "problems" that can arise when you carry a baby to term and have to give it away whether or not she was gung ho about the adoption in the first place. Adoption's obviously the best choice.

If worse comes to worst, endorse an abortion. But not just because it's convenient. You both made mistakes but there's no reason to punish the child for them. And that absolutely includes bringing it into a broken home to parents who don't want it and can't support it.

You don't "man up" and raise a child. That's complete ideological bullshit. You didn't twist your ankle playing ball and just need to walk it off.

[zizozain]

When is a fetus considered a person???
in islam i've read passages that it occurs 40-120 days and that abortion is permissible up to that point. What does the scientific community and other religions say on the matter and would it impact the abortion debate in a significant manner. I could imagine that even if it was proven that a fetus was not a person until later stages of development that there would still many people who still felt it is murder.

-Threat to the woman's life

-Rape

-Fetal deformity (Schools of Thought argue)

[bluechox2]

mtx abortion pill

[Brunch@Five]

Congratulations, your life is (probably) over. Then again, if all this is true, you have only yourself to blame.

so please explain how having a child means your life is over? That you can't go out every night/weekend?
Do you ever feel sorry for ending your parents life?

[MMM]

-Threat to the woman's life

-Rape

-Fetal deformity (Schools of Thought argue)

yea, unwanted pregnancies is not a valid reason.

[senelcoolidge]

Well if you both don't want a child and you aren't an evangelical Christian.....then the choice might be pretty easy.

yep, adoption.

[MavsSuperFan]

do this baby a favor and put it up for adaption, maybe i am being unfair to you, but it doesnt reflect well on your ability to be a father, that you come to ISH for advice on this type of issue.

[LJJ]

so please explain how having a child means your life is over? That you can't go out every night/weekend?
Do you ever feel sorry for ending your parents life?

While it's a hyperbole, I do feel the same as Q. In my head I'm still far removed from settling down anywhere. I don't want to pin myself down to one location, one career, one lifestyle. Too much to see, too much to do.

However, if I had a child I would feel responsible for raising and providing for the child. Which would exactly equate to settling down, getting into a career I don't really want to get into and providing a safe, stable environment. Then in addition to that, in this situation the mother is also just a person you have a casual sex relation with who you don't see as a partner and not someone you'd want to start a family with at any point, that certainly makes the situation worse. It wouldn't be the end of my life, but it would be pretty far from what I'd consider an ideal situation for me.

[Quizno]

this thread makes me feel so much better that i got dumped and haven't had sex in a few months :roll:

[code green]

Always the glimmer of hope that it's not yours. Hope it's the case, OP. You can check after the 10th week of pregnancy.

[LJJ]

It's very weird to me that people have a problem with abortion.

This is one of the rare times I'm being serious.

Elaborate on your personal opinion then.

I'm always curious to the opinions one people who are very much in favor of the right to abortion. Especially in regards to the boundaries they are comfortable with, ie "abortion up to X weeks is okay because ....., but after week X it becomes wrong because .....".

[kNicKz]

If neither of you want the kid put him/her up for adoption, I know a lot of adopted people that ended up having great lives, don't crush someone elses future for your own personal reasons

[RaininTwos]

this thread makes me feel so much better that i got dumped and haven't had sex in a few months :roll:
Your hand= franchise player

[Brunch@Five]

While it's a hyperbole, I do feel the same as Q. In my head I'm still far removed from settling down anywhere. I don't want to pin myself down to one location, one career, one lifestyle. Too much to see, too much to do.

However, if I had a child I would feel responsible for raising and providing for the child. Which would exactly equate to settling down, getting into a career I don't really want to get into and providing a safe, stable environment. Then in addition to that, in this situation the mother is also just a person you have a casual sex relation with who you don't see as a partner and not someone you'd want to start a family with at any point, that certainly makes the situation worse. It wouldn't be the end of my life, but it would be pretty far from what I'd consider an ideal situation for me.

Yeah, it's not an ideal situation, but it can definitely work out very well, if your environment is right. Don't even have to live in a real "familiy". If the parents are decent, they will support you. It all starts with the mother though, and whether whe wants it to work out. She'll be in the position of power most likely for the next couple of years if you don't have a career already. Working it out is tough, but possible if everyone pulls the same rope.

It's a long way from ending your life though, being the father, especially if you don't live with mom and child. You'll have to assume responsibility for your child, can't go huge distances (like studying abroad) really, but other than that? What is there you can't do anymore?

We're living in times where you don't have to marry the woman that gives birth to your child. Situations have changed.

[LJJ]

I don't know about the development rates but whatever is commonly accepted now I'm fine with.

Okay....

So essentially you are strongly in support of abortion rights, but you have no idea at all why.

"Interesting".....

[Qwyjibo]

so please explain how having a child means your life is over? That you can't go out every night/weekend?
Do you ever feel sorry for ending your parents life?
No because I enjoy being in existence. But to be honest, if my parents never had me I wouldn't be surprised if their life was more enjoyable. And I wasn't even a bad kid after age 6 or so. That's just my opinion though.

It's just different preferences. I don't see the personal joy one can get from raising a child. I just don't. To me it's too big and long of a commitment to take on. I'm 29 and I don't go out constantly or anything but the spontaneous trips/events would pretty much be nixed unless I simply wasn't a part of the child's life (or didn't have one in the first place). That will be a part of almost every aspect of your life. It is a completely undesirable life changing event to me.

[LJJ]

Yeah, it's not an ideal situation, but it can definitely work out very well, if your environment is right. Don't even have to live in a real "familiy". If the parents are decent, they will support you. It all starts with the mother though, and whether whe wants it to work out. She'll be in the position of power most likely for the next couple of years if you don't have a career already. Working it out is tough, but possible if everyone pulls the same rope.

It's a long way from ending your life though, being the father, especially if you don't live with mom and child. You'll have to assume responsibility for your child, can't go huge distances (like studying abroad) really, but other than that? What is there you can't do anymore?

We're living in times where you don't have to marry the woman that gives birth to your child. Situations have changed.

I can certainly can work out very well, but it's sort of a matter of different strokes for different folks. I have friends who have had children in their late teens and are perfectly content with that.

For me personally: I'd have to quit college, which I don't want. I'd have to live in a shitty Amsterdam suburb indefinitely, which I don't want. Any risk-taking or chance-taking in any form whatsoever would pretty much be out of the question. And I'm very much still a searcher right now. I'd do it all if I had to, but none of it would be by choice or preference.

[Rake2204]

No because I enjoy being in existence. But to be honest, if my parents never had me I wouldn't be surprised if their life was more enjoyable. And I wasn't even a bad kid after age 6 or so. That's just my opinion though.

It's just different preferences. I don't see the personal joy one can get from raising a child. I just don't. To me it's too big and long of a commitment to take on. I'm 29 and I don't go out constantly or anything but the spontaneous trips/events would pretty much be nixed unless I simply wasn't a part of the child's life (or didn't have one in the first place). That will be a part of almost every aspect of your life. It is a completely undesirable life changing event to me.I can relate to you on that one. This thread has served as a good reminder of what I don't want right now. I have not completely rejected the idea of ever having a child, I just know for a fact that right now, at age 28, I would want nothing to do with one right this moment. I'm sort of waiting for a time where maybe I meet the right person and a child-having feeling just comes over me.

As it is now, I don't even like the idea of having a pet, because it'd mean I'm somewhat locked in somewhere every day. I love the feeling of being able to go where I please, when I please with no real worry. If I decide to wake up on a Saturday and just drive to the coast, I can, and I don't have to worry about getting back in time to prevent my dog from dookie bombing my carpet.

[heyhey]

Elaborate on your personal opinion then.

I'm always curious to the opinions one people who are very much in favor of the right to abortion. Especially in regards to the boundaries they are comfortable with, ie "abortion up to X weeks is okay because ....., but after week X it becomes wrong because .....".

I'm kind of the same way. I'm socially liberal about almost everything but never understood people who were overly zealous in their support of abortion.

[MJ(Mean John)]

shes 2 weeks in is there any pill for this? im scared as **** right now


Bump

[Chrono90]

There's only one way.....



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