Let's make some really cheesy, obscure NBA jokes

[Westbrook0]

Which NBA player enjoys Christmas time the best?

Jrue Holiday

Which players have a symbiotic relationship founded on beer?

Ronnie Brewer and Carlos Boozer

Which player didn't like either Obama or Romney?

Tony Wroten

What sort of plant grows on the side of Buckingham Palace?

Royal Ivey



:durantunimpressed:

[chips93]

Which player didn't like either Obama or Romney?

Tony Wroten



:wtf:

[SpecialQue]

Which NBA player sells the most jerseys in India?

Stephen Curry.

[GreatGreg]

Which NBA player sells the most jerseys in India?

Stephen Curry.
:oldlol:

[Dictator]

Which player does the Japanese admire the most?

Kobe.

Who was the only player to have his own bible?

Lebron James.

Who's the strictest NBA commisioner?

David Stern.

[Michael_Wilbon]

Who's strictest NBA commisioner?

David Stern.

:roll: :cheers:

[BEAST Griffin]

Who has the body of a lion and rises above foes like an eagle to take their souls?

Blake Griffin

:bowdown:

[BEAST Griffin]

What player has conversations with his own *****?

Brendan Haywood

[dynasty1978]

What player has conversations with his own *****?

Brendan Haywood

:oldlol: :oldlol:

[colorz]

Who is the most childish player in the NBA?

Jason Kidd

[SpecialQue]

All Celtic Edition:

Which Celtic is a favorite of mineralogists?

Kevin Garnett.

Which Celtic is the most musically inclined?

Rajon Rondo.

Which Celtic enjoys fishing the most?

Brandon Bass.

Which Celtic wears the most body-jewelry?

Paul Pierce.

And finally, which Celtic voted for Ralph Nader in 2000?

Jeff Green.

[KrizMiz]

Who is the best entertainer in the league?

D.J. Strawberry

[SevereUpInHere]

Which ex nba player avoids running at all costs?

Antione Walker


It's funny cos he's fat :confusedshrug:

Has anyone got a really good one for Rudy Gay, I don't want to be the guy to do a crappy one for him.

[ILLsmak]

:wtf:

like "wrote in" I suppose.

-Smak

[BEAST Griffin]

Which ex nba player avoids running at all costs?

Antione Walker


It's funny cos he's fat :confusedshrug:

Has anyone got a really good one for Rudy Gay, I don't want to be the guy to do a crappy one for him.

Who's the unfriendly homosexual that gives people surprise buttsex in the shower?

Rudy Gay

[SevereUpInHere]

Who's the unfriendly homosexual that gives people surprise buttsex in the shower?

Rudy Gay


Hmm, yeah I spose, this could easily be Richard Jefferson tho...

[Myth]

Check white:

What are chefs known for?

Daequan Cook



What does the most famous football player turned murderer say when he cums on a girls face?

"OJ MAYO!"

[BEAST Griffin]

What does the most famous football player turned murderer say when he cums on a girls face?

"OJ MAYO!"

:bowdown: :bowdown: :bowdown: :bowdown:

[BlueCrayon]

What sort of plant grows on the side of Buckingham Palace?
Royal Ivey


Who works at the Buckingham Palace?

Caron Butler.

[BEAST Griffin]

Who works at the Buckingham Palace?

Caron Butler.

Fun fact:

He used to work for Earl Barron before that

[BlueCrayon]

Fun fact:

He used to work for Earl Barron before that

Bernard King was also one of his employers.

[no pun intended]

Bernard King was also one of his employers.
Until he passes away, Tayshuan Prince will succeed him.

[TheBigVeto]

Tayshaun Prince's nickname was "The Prison Guard" because of his performance in the NBA 2004 Finals.

[d.bball.guy]

Which NBA player can split a sea?

Joakim Noah

[d.bball.guy]

Which NBA player can fly?

Larry Bird

[CarlosBoozer]

Who does his financial transactions online?
Devin Ebanks

[Fiasco]

Q: What did Jesus say to the 12th disciple after he kissed him on the cheek?

A: "Go to hell, Ray."

[no pun intended]

Q: What did Jesus say to the 12th disciple after he kissed him on the cheek?

A: "Go to hell, Ray."
:roll:

[alwaysunny]

Which player can hook you up with air jordan discounts?

AJ Price


Which player fears the Grizzlies the most?

John Salmons

[no pun intended]

Here's a classic:

Ricky, Derrick, Rudy, Kevin, and Ramon walk into a bar...

And the bartender asked if Rubio Favors Gay Love Sessions wanted a drink

[Westbrook0]

Which NBA player can split a sea?

Joakim Noah

Wasn't that Moses?

[Rake2204]

Which player can be used as an emergency adhesive?

Rodney Stuckey

[tomtucker]

Which NBA player can split a sea?

Joakim Noah

:biggums: .........it was moses with the sea..........noah buildt an arc........:oldlol:

[chips93]

which nba player works in a restauraunt?

dion waiters

[Rake2204]

What do you call the trajectory on Joakim's jumpshot?

Noah's Arc.

[Clutch]

Which player fears the Grizzlies the most?

John Salmons
Don't know why but this one cracked me up :roll: :roll: :roll:

[AlphaWolf24]

NB4..

Gay Love Sessions....

[Clutch]

NB4..

Gay Love Sessions....
You're late.

[scm5]

This one is really lame...

Why do Asians think Kobe is the POTUS?

Because he's the [Barack Obama] (say it fast).

...

[sipitri]

Which player loves being knocked out in the first round?

Derek Fisher.

[Teanett]

what's rudy gay's go-to-move?
back door penetration

:confusedshrug:


god, that was lame...
:cry:

[mentallooser]

All Celtic Edition:

Which Celtic is a favorite of mineralogists?

Kevin Garnett.

Which Celtic is the most musically inclined?

Rajon Rondo.

Which Celtic enjoys fishing the most?

Brandon Bass.

Which Celtic wears the most body-jewelry?

Paul Pierce.

And finally, which Celtic voted for Ralph Nader in 2000?

Jeff Green.
Brandon Bass would enjoy fishing the least.

[Troutfisch]

What NBA player consistently wakes up with morning wood?

Matt Bonner

[Clutch]

What NBA player consistently wakes up with morning wood?

Matt Bonner
Nice one :oldlol:

[BlueCrayon]

Who is Tony Parker afraid of?

Smush Parker.

[Rake2204]

Who is Tony Parker afraid of?

Smush Parker.Haha, excellent.

[BlueCrayon]

What do you call the trajectory on Joakim's jumpshot?

Noah's Arc.

:roll: Did not catch this.

[GreatGreg]

What do you call an alcoholic Mexican man?

a Carlos Boozer

[Troutfisch]

What do you take with your breakfast sandwich?

OJ Mayo

[d.bball.guy]

:roll: :roll: :facepalm I forgot it was Moses not Noah

[Rake2204]

What do you call Shandon Anderson's brother after he jumps into the pool?

A Wet Willie.

[bagelred]

Wait a second....so NOW making really cheesy, obscure NBA jokes is "cool".........huh?.........you STOLE MY MOJO!!!!




you people disgust me

[Rake2204]

What did Lamar Odom say to former teammate Trevor Ariza after this dunk:

http://www2.pictures.gi.zimbio.com/Grant+Hill+Phoenix+Suns+v+Los+Angeles+Lakers+v_HtA lRLJk1l.jpg

"Trevor, you just went over the Hill."






http://thedailygrind.robdamanii.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/StarTrekFacePalm.gif

[Flagrant 2]

Rudy Gay

Cancer patient

[red1]

What do you call an alcoholic Mexican man?

a Carlos Boozer
:roll:

[tomtucker]

what's rudy gay's go-to-move?
back door penetration

:confusedshrug:


god, that was lame...
:cry:

no, that was awesome............. :oldlol:



Gay is a good defender, he was great against Dallas, he completely swallowed Mayo

[nightprowler10]

Haha some really good ones here.

[hon]

What's the Boston Celtics' favourite Oscar nominated movie in 2010?

The Social Garnettwork...

[BEAST Griffin]

What's the Boston Celtics' favourite Oscar nominated movie in 2010?

The Social Garnettwork...

this is so bad the measuring device went all around in a circle and ended up in the funny zone again

[hon]

Which Golden State Warrior is part of the Addams Family?

Uncle Festus Ezeli

[Zodiac]

Which Hawks player owns the most Oil stock?

Johan Petro

[BEAST Griffin]

who has the brain of a pig?

Billy Cunningham

[DGyaDigg]

http://img39.imageshack.us/img39/6858/crosscoloringpage.jpg

ps: anyone know how to change the username into something else?

[Rake2204]

The last four or so have been ridiculous and henceforth hilarious (stretching back to The Social Garnettwork).

[BEAST Griffin]

Who has mastered and is driving people crazy at C.O.D.?

Shawn Kemp

[no pun intended]

The last four or so have been ridiculous and henceforth hilarious (stretching back to The Social Garnettwork).
The Social Garnettwork made me rofl just because of how stupid it was. But then again, those kind of jokes are the funniest to me.

[BEAST Griffin]

Who is persecuted and put in jail for non violent drug offenses?

Rolando Blackman.

[BEAST Griffin]

Who's ***** is shaped like a famous Disney character?

Mickey Johnson

[no pun intended]

Why did James go to church?

Because he was Worthy to be The Chosen One.

Hardy-har-har

[hon]

Where does the San Antonio police go for coffee breaks?

Duncan Donuts...

[CarlosBoozer]

Where does the San Antonio police go for coffee breaks?

Duncan Donuts...
:roll:

[BEAST Griffin]

10 years later Grant Long is still waiting for returns on the investment he gave in cash to Billy Owens.

[hon]

During this rough period, what drinks are the Lakers ordering when they hit up the bar?

Antawn on the rocks and a Duhon Island Iced Tea...

[hon]

Which NBA player enjoys Christmas time the best?

Jrue Holiday

Which players have a symbiotic relationship founded on beer?

Ronnie Brewer and Carlos Boozer

Which player didn't like either Obama or Romney?

Tony Wroten

What sort of plant grows on the side of Buckingham Palace?

Royal Ivey



:durantunimpressed:


Like the Royal Ivey one :D

[thesage]

how did nada get to the market?
he terran

[Fudge]

Why was OJ and Chris angry at LeBron?

Because James Kaman his Mayo.

[hon]

Why was OJ and Chris angry at LeBron?

Because James Kaman his Mayo.

Nice one :lol

[hon]

How do you know if a Portland teenager is starting to explore his/her sexuality?

You spot a JJ Hickeyson on their neck...

[hon]

With trade rumours swirling, what comfort food eases Pau's nerves?

a Gasolsbury steak...

[hon]

What does your flakey Denver friend say when he calls you out of the blue?

Can I borrow a few Iguodollars...

[hon]

How do you save someone who is choking on a Chicago deep dish pizza?

You put the Hinrich maneuver on them...

[hon]

After skinny jeans, what will be the new trend for hipsters?

Skinny Jeremy Pargo Pants...

[hon]

What Grindhouse movie is a must see for the Pistons?

(in a mexican accent) Maggette

[hon]

Indiana's all-star small forward is marathoning which Chuck Norris TV show?

Walker, Texas Granger...

[hon]

When the Milwaukee Bucks browse a Japanese restaurant menu, what do they order?

Udoh Noodles with Tempura...

[hon]

What does Jay-Z say when the Nets are in a lose-lose scenario?

Damn! We're in a Blatche - 22

[hon]

The Knicks favourite crooner from the 60's and 70's?

Engelbert Shumpertdinck...

[hon]

If someone stole your philly cheesesteak, which 80's detective would you want on the case?

Spencer: For Haweser...

[TheeBeast]

lmao :oldlol:

[hon]

What would a customs officer say if you said Jonas Valanciunas really fast at the Canadian border?

Bless you...

[hon]

What sound effect does Atlanta kids make when they pretend shoot with their fingers?

Zaza Pachew Pachew!!

[hon]

Which Charlotte Bobcat is a supporting character in the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?

Bismacki Biyojimbo...

[hon]

Instead of a regular work out, Miami sluts are seeking what alternative to stay fit?

Norris Cole Dancing Class...

[hon]

If the Orlando Magic were a kid with self-esteem issues, what would his father say to give advice?

Be a leader, not an Afflalower...

[hon]

What literary device would the Wizards be if they were dropping clues as to how their season will end up?

Okaforeshadowing...

[hon]

Why do the Clippers go bareback?

Cause you never get the same sensation with a Lamar Condom on...

[hon]

An equivalent retaliation in Phoenix would be?

Tit for Gortat...

[hon]

How do Sacramentoans practice safe sex?

They put a Jimmer-hat on...

[hon]

Cuban and the Mavs periodically chill at which tropical destination?

Kaman Islands...

[hon]

In Jackie Brown, Pam Grier recommends which 70's soul group to Robert Forster?

The Carlos Delfonics...

[hon]

Local slang in Memphis for bodybuilders on venice beach?

Quincy Bronze flexer...

[hon]

What Hornet made his first appearance in Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith?

General Greivis Vasquez...

[hon]

NRA's favourite Timberwolf?

J.J Beretta...

[chips93]

whats dr dre biggest hit?

aint nuthin but an alonzo gee thang!

hon out in work :applause:

[hon]

Drunk OKC fan's thoughts on the Lakers when they were the top team?

Hast tha teem Ta Beet...

[hon]

whats dr dre biggest hit?

aint nuthin but an alonzo gee thang!

hon out in work :applause:


It's late where I am... getting delirious... wanna do one for every team before I hit the bed...

[andremiller07]

The wife of the Lakers back up (current starter)PG consistantly see him turn the ball over and get abused on defense so when he comes home on day she asks

"Chris being a scrub is that all you Duhon" (do hon)

Which NBA player is most likely to know every good looking Female?
Jockhim Noah (know her)

Why did Lebron join number #3 in Miami?
"He wanted to see how much his D Wade" (weigh'd)

Which NBA player if he became a rapper would sell the least?
Andrew cause no ones Bynum (buying him)

If Jeff from the Hawks had to run a long way what would happend?
He would get Far-Teauge (Fatigue)

What happend when #1 from the Bulls took viagra?
His D Rose

[Geriatric]

Why was Bill sad that he owned cows and not horses?

Because the cows couldn't pull his Cartwright.

[Geriatric]

What did Will ask about an often hard to explain NBA statistic?

I know what an assist, steal and block do, but what the hell does a PERdue?

[Geriatric]

Why should you be cautious around John and Jim?

Because John and Jim Paxson! :facepalm

[Geriatric]

Why was Kevin so angry at his insurance company after his McDonalds franchise was damaged by the most recent wintery storm?

He learned too late that his policy didn't protect against McHale!

[andremiller07]

Which NBA player is least likely to be wrong?
Brandon Wright

Which NBA player would never uses meters as a measurment?
CJ Miles

Which NBA player is most likely from outerspace?
Marshoon (Martian) Brooks

Which NBA player could never be a vampire?
Austin Daye

Why did Raymond and Jason fight?
Cause he felton that Kidds ball

[Geriatric]

What does Bill get when he crosses Charlie Sheen with a 2,000 pound dumbell?

A Wennington!

[Geriatric]

What did Luc get when he put David Lee on the rack?

http://static.ddmcdn.com/gif/10-medieval-torture-devices8.jpg



A Longley!

[Geriatric]

Why were all of the martians walking funny after Joe left their planet?

Because Joe Dumars...

[andremiller07]

What do you call it when Jeremy and Doran not speak to each other?
Silence of the Lambs

When Hahseem listens to music hes really good at following the beat (thabeet)

Which NBA players is most into paying for sex?
Spencer Hawes (whores)

Whose the smartest player in the NBA?
Victor Claver

Which NBA player is most likely to a renagade?
Travis Outlaw

[Geriatric]

What do you get when potatoes mate with spiders?

A Spud Webb.

[Geriatric]

What did Chris call all of the dildos he left to family members in his will?

His Wilcox.

[Geriatric]

Why was Steve so angry that his houseguests dropped food on his carpet?

Because Steve had Novak.:rolleyes:

[OmniStrife]

In a parallel universe...



Tim Duncan't...




























I'll show myself out.

[Geriatric]

Why was Kevin so mad at the local taxidermists?

None of them could tell him how much his Duckworth.


http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e217/dukhnt/DSC_02201.jpg

[Geriatric]

Why was Tyler so angry that his boyfriend tried to reach around?


He didn't like it when he used his Hansbrough.:banghead:

[Geriatric]

If Ian isn't my friend he must be......

Mahinmi (My enemy)

[Chicago Brawls]

Gee, Young White Waiters Gay Love Knight Sessions Price Rose.

Holiday Morrow Bonner Favors Gooden Singler Cousins Jack Harden Johnson, Wright?

[Toizumi]

The '01 Sixers lost the finals because Eric got Snowed In and George got Lynched.

[MeLO MvP 15]

Which player is known to be the inspiration for William Shakespeare's most famous line?

Derrick Rose

Which caveman knows Ah?

Joakim Noah

What arts and craft supply does everyone love? (works on two ways)

Raymond Felton

Which player feels intimidated by mountains?

Jordan Hill

Who likes to get wet, but not soaked? no homo

Erik Dampier

Who is strongly against canes?

Kemba Walker

I didn't read through most of this thread, so sorry if any of these are repeats

[SACK1NGS4Ever]

Family member that complains the most?

My Cousin, Demarcus.

[d.bball.guy]

Which players stand out when they see a hot, naked chick?

James Harden and Matt Bonner

[ILLsmak]

Why were all of the martians walking funny after Joe left their planet?

Because Joe Dumars...

lololol

-Smak

[KrizMiz]

No more jokes?

[Magic bird]

Which NBA player sells the most jerseys in India?

Stephen Curry.
:roll: :roll:

[DirkNowitzki41]

God said “Derrick, rise“ so derrick rose.

[Budadiiii]

In the beginning Westbrook created the heavens and the Earth...

[Inferno]

If Ian isn't my friend he must be......

Mahinmi (My enemy)

:lol

[JimmyMcAdocious]

Who is Tony Parker afraid of?

Smush Parker.

I loled.

[Scholar]

Jason Collins walked into the Bradley Center, walked out a short bit later and said, "Wow! It's so cheap in there! I only blew 3 Bucks!"

[get these NETS]

Kim Kardashian now realizes that her decision to dump/divorce Kris Humphries was based on a misunderstanding.

She only divorced him because she thought he was gonna divorce her first

See, she overheard him in the bathroom on the phone saying he was thinking about getting rid of his beard..and jumped to conclusions.


================================================

Why does Michael Jordan 's first son look more like Stacey King than Jordan?

not a joke, an observation


==================================================

[no pun intended]

Jason Collins walked into the Bradley Center, walked out a short bit later and said, "Wow! It's so cheap in there! I only blew 3 Bucks!"
even if you posted this already in your thread, i have to admit that i laughed again reading it once more lmao

[Tmuston Beltics]

Why was Kevin so mad at the local taxidermists?

None of them could tell him how much his Duckworth.


http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e217/dukhnt/DSC_02201.jpg


:coleman:

[MetsPackers]

Which NBA coach is most likely to adopt a tree instead of a child?

Mike Woodson



Player most likely to be detained and strip searched at the airport?

Nazr Mohammed



Player to ask when you need to make more money?

Chauncey Billups



Player most likely to have quality weed?

Chuck Hayes (haze)





fvck this

[Scholar]

even if you posted this already in your thread, i have to admit that i laughed again reading it once more lmao

Joke so good, I had to post it twice. :cheers:

[Bandito]

Kobe bryant Smush Parker in the playoffs

[HylianNightmare]

Which NBA player enjoys Christmas time the best?

Jrue Holiday



dionte christmas

[no pun intended]

This thread is gold.