Feeling insecure about aging?

[bladefd]

I don't know if it's just me, but I have become insecure about aging in last few years. I am still a college student, but whenever I think about getting old, it brings me down. When I think about family members and others around me getting older, I get annoyed. I know aging is a part of life and it is the present that is most important.. Age is just a number and it's about making the best out of the years you're around not the number of years. I understand all that very well, but there are some insecurities that are tough to extinguish for whatever reasons.

Considering all that, how do you deal with aging? Does it bring you down at times that we all only have x number of years?

How do you appreciate and make special each moment? I feel annoyed at times with how our memories work too - we forget most details of a fond memory and only remember certain things (excluding very few rare people with photographic memory). How do you truly appreciate a moment if you know that you will NOT be able to recall MOST of the minute details of that moment 10-15+ years down the line?

Inspire away! :cheers: :cheers:

[JMT]

At 40 I was diagnosed with a fatal and incurable disorder. At 49 I had said goodbye to my family and friends and was fully prepared to die.

Weeks later I received the double lung transplant that saved my life.

In the 5 years since I've married the love of my life, completed a triathlon, climbed to 12,000 feet, swam competitively vs "healthy" people, etc. I've spent my time traveling the country increasing awareness of Alpha-1, the disorder which almost took my life, along with organ and tissue donation. I've made a bigger difference in more lives in the last 5 than I did the first 49 combined.

Even before all that, I found that life doesn't begin to have any real meaning until you're in your 30s or 40s. Everything up til then is child's play. Not to say you don't face obstacles and challenges, but they're not as meaningful nor as rewarding as those to come.

life is what you make of it. Not time, circumstance, luck or age. You. Treat each day as if it might be your last... because it might. That's how you get the most out of life, regardless of age.

[-p.tiddy-]

Even before all that, I found that life doesn't begin to have any real meaning until you're in your 30s or 40s. Everything up til then is child's play.
I agree with this for the most part...for me it was all "fun and games" so to speak up until around 33 or so...having a something threaten your life will open up your eyes quickly of course

I'm just going to be honest, I'm 35 right now, and it really pisses me off that I have to die one day...when I think about it, I get depressed. I'm approaching the middle of my life if I live to 80, and that is no given...death is much closer than it seems even. It upsets me that my loved ones will die...I don't want them to, I know death is part of life but it is impossible for me to like that part.

I'm a theist even...I fully 100% believe in an after life...and death still depresses me.

I hope that I become more accepting of it later on...but as of right now, it's a real bummer :(

[JMT]

I agree with this for the most part...for me it was all "fun and games" so to speak up until around 33 or so...having a something threaten your life will open up your eyes quickly of course

I'm just going to be honest, I'm 35 right now, and it really pisses me off that I have to die one day...when I think about it, I get depressed. I'm approaching the middle of my life if I live to 80, and that is no given...death is much closer than it seems even. It upsets me that my loved ones will die...I don't want them to, I know death is part of life but it is impossible for me to like that part.

I'm a theist even...I fully 100% believe in an after life...and death still depresses me.

I hope that I become more accepting of it later on...but as of right now, it's a real bummer :(


I don't think anyone, regardless of their views re the afterlife, wants to or is looking forward to dying. But within most parameters, we can't control that. What we can control is the quality of our life, each and every day.

Man, I've never had more to live for than I do right now. I'll go kicking and screaming. But in the meantime, I appreciate each and every day.

[Myth]

At 40 I was diagnosed with a fatal and incurable disorder. At 49 I had said goodbye to my family and friends and was fully prepared to die.

Weeks later I received the double lung transplant that saved my life.

In the 5 years since I've married the love of my life, completed a triathlon, climbed to 12,000 feet, swam competitively vs "healthy" people, etc. I've spent my time traveling the country increasing awareness of Alpha-1, the disorder which almost took my life, along with organ and tissue donation. I've made a bigger difference in more lives in the last 5 than I did the first 49 combined.

Even before all that, I found that life doesn't begin to have any real meaning until you're in your 30s or 40s. Everything up til then is child's play. Not to say you don't face obstacles and challenges, but they're not as meaningful nor as rewarding as those to come.

life is what you make of it. Not time, circumstance, luck or age. You. Treat each day as if it might be your last... because it might. That's how you get the most out of life, regardless of age.

:applause:

I'm younger, but I'm 100% on board with what you are saying.

[-p.tiddy-]

I don't think anyone, regardless of their views re the afterlife, wants to or is looking forward to dying. But within most parameters, we can't control that. What we can control is the quality of our life, each and every day.

Man, I've never had more to live for than I do right now. I'll go kicking and screaming. But in the meantime, I appreciate each and every day.
I'm with you...

I just had a son, and I am already spending every day with him as though it is my last...he won't be a baby very long, time is moving quickly for me. I have to enjoy it NOW...there is no time to wait.

[gigantes]

I don't know if it's just me, but I have become insecure about aging in last few years....
i would keep doing what you're doing... be honest about your insecurities and respect their power. these are the things that run our lives in a big way no matter how much we try to shortcut our way around them or pave right over them with seductive, persuasive bullshit.


when you are ready for it, i would also recommend seeking to understand the various original causes of your insecurities... as well as other spare feelings and thought-patterns you're not interested in maintaining. thus, with work, you can re-program yourself over time and find that life opens up for you like a flower in bloom. everything seems to become easier and life takes on more richness.


we're not designed to be perfect-- we're designed to keep falling off the bike. but if we figure out why we crashed, then we can pick ourselves up, recognise what went wrong, and avoid it more efficiently next time.


yes, neural connections can be re-programmed, and we can become the people that we choose to over time... little by little. self-reflection and meditation are two of my biggest tools.

anyway, this is what makes life very satisfying for ME right now, even with a disease kicking my ass these days.

[JEFFERSON MONEY]

My friend.

Don't worry.

Let us ease into our new roles.

First clean shaven, then a bit of peach fuzz, and then salt and pepper beard.

First puccy, then career, then wisdom.

All that can be constant is your will to smile =)

[HylianNightmare]

Damn I've been sweating turning 23 a couple weeks ago, glad some others face this sort of anxiety. Some inspiring reads up in here

[Just2McFly]

Damn I've been sweating turning 23 a couple weeks ago, glad some others face this sort of anxiety. Some inspiring reads up in here
I agree with this. Best thread I've read in a while.

[Bandito]

I feel so insecure about aging. I feel that I never did all the stupid shit my friends did as I was growing up I was a hardcore gamer. Now that I am older, I see all the kids doing exactly what I didn't do and feel like an old fart now. Is like my friends (I am 26) all have kids and feel like they don't have the energy to do nothing, but I feel good physically that I can do a lot of things. Like I don't know run, play sports, climb a mountain and other stuff like that. I just came back to college and I am thinking of joining the volleyball team but I feel so insecure about being the old fart of the group if I somehow get to be picked in the team.

[Bandito]

I'm way more terrified of old age, like after age 65, than death. The stage where your body begin to deteriorate and decline. Your joints are barely holding shit together. Your bones begin to slide out of place. The stage in life where your physical independence is gone, you need life assistance and you know you can't do anything about it.

Apart of me wishes I don't reach that stage.
Unless you get one of those rare diseases you can be very dependent after 65. But you have to take care of your body starting right now. That means keep fast food to the minimum, eat all the food groups through the day, eat healthy, exercise, keep your weight at the normal range (don't be overweight) and don't smoke/drugs.

Smoking lead to lung diseases which will happen probably after your 40's (I work as pulmonary technician) and trust me that's not pretty to see (you don't want a nasal catheter up your nose right?). Being overweight also affect your lung capacity and if you smoke and your overweight it's going to be very hard to breath as your lung capacity diminishes and you might get heart diseases and other stuff.

If you don't exercise you might get arthritis at old age, and heart disease too. If you don't keep a healthy diet you could get diabetes, heart diseases and other stuff. (You might get diabetes because it has not been proven if its genetic or because of diet or other cause but it doesn't hurt to prevent it right?).

Just do all that and you might live a better life than you think after 65.

[miller-time]

I don't really care about aging anymore, I sort of got over it around 27 (two years ago). At some point you begin to realize it is inevitable and you can either spend your entire life fighting it or learn to go with it. Life is too short to worry about being old. As Bandito said, just start taking care of yourself now.

Death is a separate issue. My only concern about death is dying before my parents. I just don't want them to be upset.

[JohnnySic]

Growing older bothered me in my mid/late 20's. Now I' pushing 40 ad couldn't care less.

[ukballer]

I turned 25 at the beginning of last month, and it's kind of a bummer when I think about the fact I'm now closer to 30 than I am 20, especially as I don't feel like I'm mature enough yet. Well I guess I am, I've always been mature for my age, but right now I'm still kinda coasting through life still doing the same things I was doing when I was 18-21. Not really sure when the 'young man's life' is supposed to start to slow down. :lol

Young man's life meaning still kicking it with my friends, playing video games, perhaps seeing one or two different women.... you kinda get the drift. I don't drink and I'm not really the party going type, so that's not part of it. But still, some of my friends are starting to settle down and I'm noticing the changes in their life. One acquaintance of mine is in fact getting married today. I'm sure I'd be ready to settle down if the right girl came around, and it's definitely more appealing than it used to be. But I'm not at that point yet.

I'm trying not think too much about the stigma attached to turning 30, but I know it's not too far away. Did any of you guys notice a significant change in your life and lifestyle when turning 30, or shortly after it?

[mlh1981]

For the first time in my life, I've had to really start watching my diet and exercize more. I'm still slender, but this past summer, I started noticing that I was getting a bit of a gut. That's been trimmed down, but gone are the days where I can eat total crap all the time, and not suffer any consequences.

Another thing is, growing up, I always felt like my goals were right in front of me, graduate from school, find a job, etc. The future seemed limitless, and full of possibility. I've lost some of that youthful exuberance, and while I'm happy with my life and where I live, some of the "innocence" is gone. I think more about the reality and practical aspect of things more than I used to.

[reppy]

I don't really care about getting old as much except the fact that the quality of women seems to be going down. :lol

But really the only thing that gets at me is the fact that I figured by around age 30 or so I'd be in like "settle down, start a family" mode. I'm nearly 28 and still single. :lol

[gigantes]

...I'm trying not think too much about the stigma attached to turning 30, but I know it's not too far away. Did any of you guys notice a significant change in your life and lifestyle when turning 30, or shortly after it?
felt like some part of myself was dying, or was supposed to die, so i kind of hunkered down and awaited the huge hammer blow. nothing happened!

nothing happened, so i just kept doing what i was doing and felt all clever and pleased with myself, like i was saying "haha, take THAT, life, your miserable motherf--ker!"

later on i realised that dying in stages and being reborn in stages is what's SUPPOSED to happen, so i kind of had to go back and do the work anyway. :D

[9512]

Feeling is old has never been a problem. I consider myself "young at heart." kinda corny to say it and it's very cliche but it's true for me.

Actually it's the perception of others that bother me. I have suffered from social anxiety disorder my entire life so I care too much what other people think. I get anxious with what people would say when I will reach a certain age.

Right now I am losing hair like crazy and people have teased me about it. I wouldn't care but the truth is looks can affect how people view you especially in the dating world and job interviews. Those 2 processes are very harsh and people involved will look for any reasons to not go for date #2 or not hire you for the job. I have seen males get turned down by females for the pettiest reasons. And employers have rejected candidates for having bad haircuts.

I know it's common for people aged 50-65 to be perpetually unemployed. It's a problem in France. I am not looking forward to be part of that group. I hope to NOT be.

Being over 65 and forced to give up independence scares me. My grandmother has had Alzheimer's disease for 7-8 years before passing away at age 82. She was a vegetable and had to be fed, changed (diapers and all), washed, and my aunt took care of her. She was practically an overgrown baby. :(

Obviously diseases creep up on you at this age. Not just Alzheimer's. Cancers of all kinds may appear. Not looking forward to that. :( My uncle died 3 months before my grandma did. He was a chain smoker and the cancer did him in. A few months ago, my dad was diagnosed with colon cancer. He is having chemo therapy done on him. He will be fine for now but you just never know.

I honestly would never wish cancer or Alzheimer's on anyone. Not even my worst enemies.

I can accept being old. But it's the preretirement and retirement era that I am not looking forward to.

I never envisioned myself as being old, gray, hunched over, waddling with a walker, being toothless. I visualized me being young and vibrant with a few wrinkles an gray hairs but really old. No.

I have no answers to inspire anyone. All I am doing is trying to appreciate every present moment because death can knock at our door at any age.

[Stuckey]

turning 25

not worried at all, I look forward to death because that's my real retirement considering I believe in in life after death, hopefully it's not reincarnation

but until then, I have LOTS of work to do to stay alive, raise my future kids well, and pay off my mortgages

I guess it's because I'm asian and still look like a teenager, but I dont think about age

dont let it get to you, one day at a time. As long as you're working towards your goals at a good pace, dont stress.

[ace23]

I turned 25 at the beginning of last month, and it's kind of a bummer when I think about the fact I'm now closer to 30 than I am 20
Depends on how you interpret that. You'd be closer to 30 only if you considered the day that you turned 20 the only day that you were truly 20.

[Nevaeh]

I knew I was getting old when I stopped keeping up with today's latest musicians and stars, and actually didn't give a f@ck to know who they were.

http://www.ezboard.com/images/emoticons/laugh.gif

For me, the culture shock of getting older actually hit home for me when I realized that my latest job has more 20-somethings than I had ever worked with in years. When it also dawned on me that I was old enough to be some their fathers (40 this summer), it bummed me out a bit, but on the flip side I don't find myself getting emotional over things like they do, be it work or personal stuff.

[goldenryan]

I knew I was getting old when I stopped keeping up with today's latest musicians and stars, and actually didn't give a f@ck to know who they were.

http://www.ezboard.com/images/emoticons/laugh.gif

This. I dont keep up with music like I did as a teenager. Same with most mainstream movies back then I got excited to see The Phantom and Batman forever now superhero movies are much better made (avengers) but it's like meh. Dating is different too in your late 20's, decent bishs your own age won't give you the time of day unless you have a career, house,new car, etc. The best advice I can give is live a healthy lifestyle and keep your real friends close don't worry about impressing fake people.

[GatorKid117]

Many people will never get to experience what its like to grow old. If I'm able to I'll consider myself lucky :D

It may suck but thats just life for ya.

[JerryWest]

you guys are old :roll:

[gigantes]

Many people will never get to experience what its like to grow old. If I'm able to I'll consider myself lucky :D
average lifespan of a male in china looks like 71. are you in a high risk area or something?

[JEFFERSON MONEY]

Good thread

[code green]

I only get insecure about my age because I feel like I've underachieved so far. I see some of my friends from high school working great jobs, starting families, buying their first house, etc., and I get bummed out that I'm 26 and just had to move back home to go back to school. The only consolation is that I'm finally doing things right now (I'm getting ready to go to an interview for a network engineering position for a pretty large firm later today), which definitely softens the blow a little bit. If you put yourself in the best possible situation to succeed in life, aging definitely becomes less scary.

I'm sure the older gents here will, and have already said 26 is child's play, and if it makes the OP feel any better, I look back at 22/23 and think the same thing. It's all relative, so just make the most of your life while you can. Hold onto your youth as long as you can, but realize you're always moving forward.

[DeuceWallaces]

Never really bothered me. I remember my 29th birthday kind of sucked as I was thinking about how I'd be 30 in a year, but that was really the only time.

[Jailblazers7]

Don't think I will ever freak out about age but I do kind of freak out about life experience that I haven't had yet. For example, I'm 23 and never been in a serious, committed relationship before. I always bail pretty early on right before things are about to get serious. I know I'm only 23 so its not that unusual but if it is the same situation in 2-3 years I will start to feel a little incomplete. Relationships and even heartbreak are part of the maturation process and I feel like I've missed on that a little bit so far.

I was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis 2 years ago and it has made me a lot more balanced mentally and emotionally. Before it was diagnosed, I had to go through the mental torment of self-diagnosis and was convinced I had colon cancer for a while. It was an overreaction but it made me reflect on things pretty heavily and really consider how I would feel if I didn't live for more than 1-2 more years. That little episode gave me a ton of perspective that has helped me a lot since.