Guy on my team starts screaming/yelling at me after we lose a pick up game at gym

[mobbdeep]

What would you guys do if this happened to you?

I am 5'10 145 pounds and skinny (not a big dude as u can tell here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7EfKmk5fZek ) and this guy is 6'2 220 lbs of muscle. We played 5 on 5 full court game and he was on my team and we won the first game 23-21.
(First to 16 wins but u have to win by 2 points and every score is 1 point).

He was yelling at me a lot during the game and we came from behind to win. He screwed up with stupid turnovers and he even led a fast break and passed the ball so hard to me that it went right through my legs once.

In the rematch, I think my whole team was so gassed and tired and the other team had 2 fresh guys so we lost by a lot and after the game, my teammate starts to yell and scream at me in front of the 8 other guys.

I was cool with him yelling at me during the first game because we won and I know how guys can get emotional and I don't take it personally even though I'm the quiet type who won't yell at others or talk back much.

He kept on ranting at me about being more physical on defense even though I didn't cost us the game and he was not that good in the game either.

I got mad so I said "**** u" back to him which shocked everyone and then 10 minutes later, he came back into the gym and tried to apologize and talk to me. He said he was a loser and asshole and has anger issues when he plays basketball sometimes. The thing I don't like is he yells and bullies me when he could have yelled at the bigger guys on my team.

I accepted his apology and we were cool after that but I don't think I should have. Actions speak louder than words and I think his true colors were revealed.

We were good "gym friends" for over 3 years and always cordial and say whats up and have 5 min conversations over the years but now I don't think I want to deal with this guy anymore for being so disrespectful and a immature guy. He's 25.

What would u guys have done and reacted? The guy that I was guarding in the games told me the guy is suck a prick for yelling at me and that I played good D on him and two other guys pulled me over and told me he was wrong too.

[C_lake2802]

You did right. You accepted the apology even though i know you didn't want to. Were men and no need to hold grudges, he wasn't right for yelling and being emotional at all and I would 100% check that at the door next time it happens, because it is just a pickup game . But that's how you know whose a good player, people who can only do for themselves get mad when other people cant do what they do, and fail to recognize there own faults in the process

Good players recognize someones weaknesses and only try to make the teammates strengths stronger. People are going to play harder for you when you not tearing them down. Its ok to let some1 know they f'n up, but no need to belittle anyone.

[mobbdeep]

You did right. You accepted the apology even though i know you didn't want to. Were men and no need to hold grudges, he wasn't right for yelling and being emotional at all and I would 100% check that at the door next time it happens, because it is just a pickup game . But that's how you know whose a good player, people who can only do for themselves get mad when other people cant do what they do, and fail to recognize there own faults in the process

Good players recognize someones weaknesses and only try to make the teammates strengths stronger. People are going to play harder for you when you not tearing them down. Its ok to let some1 know they f'n up, but no need to belittle anyone.


Yea he fails to blame himself and recognize his own faults. I made mistakes in passing him the ball on the perimeter when he is only good at inside shots in the paint with his wide body and strength.

he tried to belittle me in front of everyone. What a coward. He's so much bigger than me.

Whenever guys mess up, I just give them a pat or hi five them so they know it's all good and not worry about it. I hate it when guys miss a jumper or shot and then get mad and don't get back on D.

I don't even mind criticism if I really do mess up but since his yelling wasn't even warranted, that really annoyed me lol.

It's like Chris Duhon screaming at Kobe or Chris Anderson screaming at LeBron.

[code green]

You should have said what was on your mind at the time. "Really dude? Over a pickup game?" and walked away. Maybe sarcastically call him "tough guy" over your shoulder...he's not risking arrest by hitting you

I think at this point it would be sort of a (for lack of a better term) feminine characteristic to just start ignoring him after you supposedly patched things up. If he doesn't do it again, his apology might have been sincere. If he does, just laugh at him and walk away. Everyone else has your back.

[Jameerthefear]

I agree with the above posts.Who knows, maybe he was just having a bad day.

[GOBB_Junior]

Throw the ball at his face. Who's get mad at losing in a pickup game? It's not even a real game.

[mobbdeep]

You should have said what was on your mind at the time. "Really dude? Over a pickup game?" and walked away. Maybe sarcastically call him "tough guy" over your shoulder...he's not risking arrest by hitting you

I think at this point it would be sort of a (for lack of a better term) feminine characteristic to just start ignoring him after you supposedly patched things up. If he doesn't do it again, his apology might have been sincere. If he does, just laugh at him and walk away. Everyone else has your back.

Lol yea I was going to call him "Tough Guy" actually. Since he has a bad temper and can be volatile, I would not put it pass him to try to get violent on me. You never know with these guys.

Could be roid rage or a bad temper. The thing is, he is a very nice guy off the court.

Well I won't talk to him much if at all. There's no need to. I don't like apologies sincere or insincere. It doesn't do anything for me and it just makes him feel better and not me. I have thick skin, I don't care what an idiot has to say.

If I respected him and he was a good player, I would understand perhaps but I am the one that should be yelling at his ass haha.

[mobbdeep]

I agree with the above posts.Who knows, maybe he was just having a bad day.

no he was not having a bad day. He was just upset we lost the 2nd game. He should have been happy we won the first game! It could be roid rage though since he is muscular and big.

[mobbdeep]

Throw the ball at his face. Who's get mad at losing in a pickup game? It's not even a real game.


Who gets mad during a pick up game? Well at my gym, like everyone does!!!!

It's a pride thing I guess. U got teen punks, and adults in 20s and 30s and 40s and even 60s with their old man game and everyone is competitive and the teen punks want to show off and take hero shots and ball hog.

I'm not a violent person so I won't throw the ball at his face or be the first one to attack. There's no need to fight. I've been in many fights back in the day when I was younger due to attempted robberies and what not and violence isn't the answer.

I'm the best passer and have the highest b ball IQ at the gym but these guys never appreciate me feeding them the ball and see passing as a sign of weakness which is just ridiculous.

I've decided to stop playing pick up ball after this because it's no fun no more. All I get is aggravation and pain. This happened on Monday and last Friday, some guy smash my groin so hard while trying to smack the ball from me as I dribbled up the court.

So yes, its either physical or verbal abuse and I'm content shooting jumpers all day by myself instead. I won't miss the cheap shots, the stupid ball hogs, the yelling and screaming and cheaters lying about the score.

The only thing I will miss is passing since I love getting assists and driving and kicking and making passes to a cutter.

[devin112]

Switch teams mid game and beat his ass!

[mobbdeep]

Switch teams mid game and beat his ass!


That's what I want next time. For him to be on the other team but it won't happen most likely. I don't think it will happen soon.

He works out at the gym more than he plays basketball and even if he was on my team again, I would never pass to his ass and freeze him out.

[GOBB_Junior]

How old is the guy. If that guy is over the age of 30. You need to tell him to act like a grown man.

[mobbdeep]

How old is the guy. If that guy is over the age of 30. You need to tell him to act like a grown man.

He is 25. Everyone likes him at the gym. The girls like him because of his muscles and the guys like him too. I have no respect for him anymore.

It is one thing to yell at a guy your own size or bigger than u but to yell at a little guy like me , it's just cowardly.

[Burgz V2]

honestly, basketball is a sport where, if you are a generally temperamental, your emotions can get the better of you very easily. 1) because basketball is a very physically and mentally taxing sport sometimes, especially in really competitive games and 2) people like this tend not to see their own faults until they've calmed down/stopped playing so they generally will try to find what everyone else is doing wrong.

Every one has bad days. The fact he apologized leads me to believe it was just that. I run with my boys and we get into arguments ALL THE TIME. But the fact of the matter is once we step outside of those lines we know that, if we went to far, we should be man enough to own that. Doesn't necessarily mean you have to accept an apology, just something to think about.

If it's just some guy you know from playing at that gym for a while and you don't know him that well, a hearty f*ck you always makes me feel better :lol

[ILLsmak]

What would you guys do if this happened to you?

I am 5'10 145 pounds and skinny (not a big dude as u can tell here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7EfKmk5fZek ) and this guy is 6'2 220 lbs of muscle. We played 5 on 5 full court game and he was on my team and we won the first game 23-21.
(First to 16 wins but u have to win by 2 points and every score is 1 point).

He was yelling at me a lot during the game and we came from behind to win. He screwed up with stupid turnovers and he even led a fast break and passed the ball so hard to me that it went right through my legs once.

In the rematch, I think my whole team was so gassed and tired and the other team had 2 fresh guys so we lost by a lot and after the game, my teammate starts to yell and scream at me in front of the 8 other guys.

I was cool with him yelling at me during the first game because we won and I know how guys can get emotional and I don't take it personally even though I'm the quiet type who won't yell at others or talk back much.

He kept on ranting at me about being more physical on defense even though I didn't cost us the game and he was not that good in the game either.

I got mad so I said "**** u" back to him which shocked everyone and then 10 minutes later, he came back into the gym and tried to apologize and talk to me. He said he was a loser and asshole and has anger issues when he plays basketball sometimes. The thing I don't like is he yells and bullies me when he could have yelled at the bigger guys on my team.

I accepted his apology and we were cool after that but I don't think I should have. Actions speak louder than words and I think his true colors were revealed.

We were good "gym friends" for over 3 years and always cordial and say whats up and have 5 min conversations over the years but now I don't think I want to deal with this guy anymore for being so disrespectful and a immature guy. He's 25.

What would u guys have done and reacted? The guy that I was guarding in the games told me the guy is suck a prick for yelling at me and that I played good D on him and two other guys pulled me over and told me he was wrong too.

If you balled for 3 years and nothing happened then it happened once, then I wouldn't worry about it. Especially if he apologized. Maybe he felt closer to you and thus more able to express his disappointment.

I have a complex about people blaming me for shit that isn't my fault, too, but I would let this one go.

-Smak

[mobbdeep]

honestly, basketball is a sport where, if you are a generally temperamental, your emotions can get the better of you very easily. 1) because basketball is a very physically and mentally taxing sport sometimes, especially in really competitive games and 2) people like this tend not to see their own faults until they've calmed down/stopped playing so they generally will try to find what everyone else is doing wrong.

Every one has bad days. The fact he apologized leads me to believe it was just that. I run with my boys and we get into arguments ALL THE TIME. But the fact of the matter is once we step outside of those lines we know that, if we went to far, we should be man enough to own that. Doesn't necessarily mean you have to accept an apology, just something to think about.

If it's just some guy you know from playing at that gym for a while and you don't know him that well, a hearty f*ck you always makes me feel better :lol

I agree with u saying basketball can be a taxing and physical sport where tempers can escalate. I'm not giving him an out though here due to him not bashing the big Black dude on our team or the 6'2 Asian guy. It was cowardly to blame me.

Yes u can have bad days but he's not allowed to take his frustrations in life out on me. I'm sick and tired of it.

Emotions are for amateurs. I hate it when a guy misses a shot and then cusses himself out and doesn't get back on D or mope. It's so annoying.

[mobbdeep]

If you balled for 3 years and nothing happened then it happened once, then I wouldn't worry about it. Especially if he apologized. Maybe he felt closer to you and thus more able to express his disappointment.

I have a complex about people blaming me for shit that isn't my fault, too, but I would let this one go.

-Smak

I've known him for 3 years but only played ball with him like 30 times. The only reason he apologized was because I stood up to him by saying "F you" to him.

I'm not letting this one go though. Thanks for the advice though. I'm done dealing with these fools. THere's no need for him to apologize and there's no need for me and him to be friends or anything else.

[Baller1986]

That guy is an idiot. I'll punch him in the mouth if he starts screaming at me. You don't that $hit in front of another players.

[mobbdeep]

That guy is an idiot. I'll punch him in the mouth if he starts screaming at me. You don't that $hit in front of another players.

Yea he is an idiot and a coward. If I did punch him, I don't think anyone would ever yell at me again in the gym lol.

If u keep allowing people to take advantage of u, they will.

[devin112]

Next time he plays, walk by his gym bag and dump gatorade into it. Don't forgive or forget, get even!

[mobbdeep]

Next time he plays, walk by his gym bag and dump gatorade into it. Don't forgive or forget, get even!

Lol, no I won't be childish and stoop to his immature level. I won't forgive or forget though. I hate cowards who pick on little guys.

[JMT]

Separate yourself from assholes. They add nothing to your life.

Be cordial, wave, chat; nice, superficial stuff if you want to. Then move on.

Too many people looking to excuse piss poor behavior. He's a bully and a dick. Unless you desire to hang out with those categories, strike him from the list. Anybody who berates a casual aquaintance, especially one he's twice the size of, over a game is a jerkoff.

[TSFP]

competitive pick up games get you that sometimes

[mobbdeep]

Separate yourself from assholes. They add nothing to your life.

Be cordial, wave, chat; nice, superficial stuff if you want to. Then move on.

Too many people looking to excuse piss poor behavior. He's a bully and a dick. Unless you desire to hang out with those categories, strike him from the list. Anybody who berates a casual aquaintance, especially one he's twice the size of, over a game is a jerkoff.

Thanks for the comments. Wise words from you indeed. Truer words have never been spoken.

I played some 5 on 5 games on Friday and he was not there and my teammates played solid D, we shared the ball, and it was a tie game until I hit a runner and then a game winning 3 pointer to win the game.

Everyone had a good time and shook hands after the game and displayed good sportsmanship. They all gave me props for good shooting too. This is what makes pick up basketball fun for me and reminds me why I enjoy the game.

The idiotic bully won't ruin my joy for the game. Thanks again for the great advice.

[Underballer]

not to hijack your thread, but this brings me to a problem i had too lol.

few weeks ago, was playing full court 5 v 5. I was the odd man out within a group of 4 other people. So basically, im kinda the same as u and am pretty quiet and i wont tell my teammates what to do and just play. Pretty much the whole game i barely touched the ball, and whenever i did i scored with it. I was pretty much perfect the whole game, and scored liek 3 times off steals. But my teammates were pretty much ignoring me for some reason, was it because i was quiet?

one play that particular pissed me off was when i got a rebound and i was going for the fast break, and i managed to get through like 4 defenders. Teammates couldnt keep up with me, and it ended up being 1v4, so me being the smart player, decided to back out and set up our offense. Now the part that made me seriously wanna punch someone was when our point guard literally ran up to me and snatched the ball like i was going to lose it or soemthing. that ****in' pissed me off, and i swear if i see that guy again im decking him

but back to my question:

do people think u suck cuz ur quiet, and not assertive in game?

[devin112]

not to hijack your thread, but this brings me to a problem i had too lol.

few weeks ago, was playing full court 5 v 5. I was the odd man out within a group of 4 other people. So basically, im kinda the same as u and am pretty quiet and i wont tell my teammates what to do and just play. Pretty much the whole game i barely touched the ball, and whenever i did i scored with it. I was pretty much perfect the whole game, and scored liek 3 times off steals. But my teammates were pretty much ignoring me for some reason, was it because i was quiet?

one play that particular pissed me off was when i got a rebound and i was going for the fast break, and i managed to get through like 4 defenders. Teammates couldnt keep up with me, and it ended up being 1v4, so me being the smart player, decided to back out and set up our offense. Now the part that made me seriously wanna punch someone was when our point guard literally ran up to me and snatched the ball like i was going to lose it or soemthing. that ****in' pissed me off, and i swear if i see that guy again im decking him

but back to my question:

do people think u suck cuz ur quiet, and not assertive in game?

Lots of punks playing ball, the key is to have all of them on the opposing team. If theyre on ur team, not much u can do. Find guys u can play with, befriend them, hit each other up when its time to ball. Then go find some bitches to punk. Its so much more fun when ure playing with people who know ur game

[scm5]

I understand your frustration, but if he was yelling at you and he was messing up as well, you should have gotten right back in his face and called him out for it.

Maybe he's roid raging since you mention he's pretty built and works out constantly. He could have just had a momentary lapse in judgement and now regrets it since you guys were sorta friends before. I would forgive him this one time, it's a game and there might be other stuff going on in his life that you might not know about.

[mobbdeep]

not to hijack your thread, but this brings me to a problem i had too lol.

few weeks ago, was playing full court 5 v 5. I was the odd man out within a group of 4 other people. So basically, im kinda the same as u and am pretty quiet and i wont tell my teammates what to do and just play. Pretty much the whole game i barely touched the ball, and whenever i did i scored with it. I was pretty much perfect the whole game, and scored liek 3 times off steals. But my teammates were pretty much ignoring me for some reason, was it because i was quiet?

one play that particular pissed me off was when i got a rebound and i was going for the fast break, and i managed to get through like 4 defenders. Teammates couldnt keep up with me, and it ended up being 1v4, so me being the smart player, decided to back out and set up our offense. Now the part that made me seriously wanna punch someone was when our point guard literally ran up to me and snatched the ball like i was going to lose it or soemthing. that ****in' pissed me off, and i swear if i see that guy again im decking him

but back to my question:

do people think u suck cuz ur quiet, and not assertive in game?

Most guys think I suck because I'm skinny, Asian, and wear glasses. So that's 3 strikes already lol. Yea, I'm not assertive in games either and try to let the game come to me and I am an elite passer like Steve Nash and know how to set up guys and find cutters etc.

So I pass a lot and a lot of these idiots consider "passing" to be a weakness. I have a great jumper and can score in multiple ways and my range is to around 35 or 40 feet (yea crazy range).

Most dudes just disrespect because they think too highly of themselves and are cocky. I get along with a lot of the guys at the gym for the most part because I'm a chill guy and I'm a nice person and I am not a selfish ball hog that takes hero shots. So what's not to like really?

As for your story, those guys didn't pass to u because they probably don't know u and just want to pass to their friends. They are idiots.

[mobbdeep]

not to hijack your thread, but this brings me to a problem i had too lol.

few weeks ago, was playing full court 5 v 5. I was the odd man out within a group of 4 other people. So basically, im kinda the same as u and am pretty quiet and i wont tell my teammates what to do and just play. Pretty much the whole game i barely touched the ball, and whenever i did i scored with it. I was pretty much perfect the whole game, and scored liek 3 times off steals. But my teammates were pretty much ignoring me for some reason, was it because i was quiet?

one play that particular pissed me off was when i got a rebound and i was going for the fast break, and i managed to get through like 4 defenders. Teammates couldnt keep up with me, and it ended up being 1v4, so me being the smart player, decided to back out and set up our offense. Now the part that made me seriously wanna punch someone was when our point guard literally ran up to me and snatched the ball like i was going to lose it or soemthing. that ****in' pissed me off, and i swear if i see that guy again im decking him

but back to my question:

do people think u suck cuz ur quiet, and not assertive in game?

Can't believe that idiot snatched the ball from u. Disrespectful. Don't worry about it. U have cooled off by now and realize he is an idiot. It's best to keep ur emotions in check.

I always try to think about the next play or possession. If I miss a jumper or layup, I don't get mad and just get back on D and get ready to score or make an assist on the next possession.

I hate it when dudes get all mad when they miss or turn the ball over and don't get back on Defense.

[mobbdeep]

Lots of punks playing ball, the key is to have all of them on the opposing team. If theyre on ur team, not much u can do. Find guys u can play with, befriend them, hit each other up when its time to ball. Then go find some bitches to punk. Its so much more fun when ure playing with people who know ur game

The people u don't want on ur team are ball hogs, guys who take hero shots, and guys who suck and are lazy on D lol.

by the way, I saw that idiot who yelled at me today at the gym and he was lifting weights in the weight room and was far away from the b ball gym and we just looked at each other from far away.

[mobbdeep]

I understand your frustration, but if he was yelling at you and he was messing up as well, you should have gotten right back in his face and called him out for it.

Maybe he's roid raging since you mention he's pretty built and works out constantly. He could have just had a momentary lapse in judgement and now regrets it since you guys were sorta friends before. I would forgive him this one time, it's a game and there might be other stuff going on in his life that you might not know about.

I wasn't even messing up lol. He screwed up many times though but he blames me for that too probably lol.

Someone else mentioned he might be roid raging today at the gym. Funny.

There's things in my life that he doesn't know about too and I'm stressed out in life just like everyone else. We all got personal problems and issues but we don't go out and take it out on someone smaller than us and in a pick up game at the local gym.

So no excuses for him and if he was so tough and such a bad ass, He should have yelled at the buff Black dude on our team too lol. But of course he didnt haha. The black dude is my friend at the gym too and he knows martial arts lol.