Stopped a friend from drinking and driving last weekend. And now,

[Bourne]

I'm seen as having overstepped boundaries.

This person was one of 6 people at my house. He was not fit to drive under any conditions, that was certain. The others knew it, but they were not adamant that he not drive - I was the only one putting my foot down.

A cab was called, as the solution. guess who paid. would have drove him myself but I wasn't in a state to drive, and he had drank more than me!

Anyway now I'm getting told by one of them that 4 of the 6 others have since had lunch and a conversation took place where the gist of it was that I was overbearing. This has happened over the course of a whole entire week and I'm still ostracized after all this time? Where are peoples' priorities?

My execution could have been better, but in what world is that a consideration I have to make when I'm trying to save a friend's life?

I have to try so hard not to lose my cool and say "fine, **** you, next time, just stay to the right of the median, hit a tree on your side of the road not a family of four in the opposite lane"


Don't be the guy who does the right thing

[johndeeregreen]

You're all adults. Mind your own f*cking business. You have no obligation to babysit anyone. Not saying what you did was wrong, but I'm not gonna say you're some white knight either.

[9erempiree]

It depends how much to drink he had. If you are one of those types that call a cab after a beer than you are overbearing.

I think you did the right thing but calling a guy a cab or saying he can't drive is like telling someone that they are cut off.

[Bourne]

actually, johndeere, assuming you aren't trolling, dont I even have legal liability as it was my place and I provided the alcohol? or is that only for commercial establishments?

9erempiree, he indeed had too much. there is no discussion of whether he was safe to drive, let alone legal. doesnt help dude is a lightweight. a gin and tonic and he's lost all inhibitions already lol


and no im not a whiteknight. i didnt go out of my way to do anything. i dont expect everyone to be a whiteknight, but i do expect everyone to do the same thing I did and im damn sad that that isnt the case in life

[johndeeregreen]

actually, johndeere, assuming you aren't trolling, dont I even have legal liability as it was my place and I provided the alcohol? or is that only for commercial establishments?
No idea.

Like I said, you probably did do the right thing, and if buddy is pissed off because you did, then f*ck him, but at the same time - you aren't his babysitter. If buddy wants to be a moron it's not your duty to stop him.

[Meticode]

You're all adults. Mind your own f*cking business. You have no obligation to babysit anyone. Not saying what you did was wrong, but I'm not gonna say you're some white knight either.
It is his business, he was at his house.

Bourne,

You did the right thing.

[kNicKz]

You did the right thing. It is your house.

I'd rather be seen as an overbearing pu$$y than have a dead friend :confusedshrug:

This is based all on your account though. If he had one beer like 9er said then you gotta chill (we all know someone like that too lol )

[Bourne]

You did the right thing. It is your house.

I'd rather be seen as an overbearing pu$$y than have a dead friend :confusedshrug:

This is based all on your account though. If he had one beer like 9er said then you gotta chill (we all know someone like that too lol )

nah dude was acting a fool. like I said, no one was discussing whether or not it was at all safe for him to drive - everyone knew it wasnt.

that said, i admit i was overbearing, but that is so not something that should even be considered. smh.

[johndeeregreen]

Seriously, why are you here seeking reassurance if you know you did the right thing? The way you describe it it's pretty clear-cut. I'm not sure why you give a f*ck or why you need us to validate it for you.

[IInvented]

You're all adults. Mind your own f*cking business. You have no obligation to babysit anyone. Not saying what you did was wrong, but I'm not gonna say you're some white knight either.
****in idiot...

[Bourne]

Seriously, why are you here seeking reassurance if you know you did the right thing? The way you describe it it's pretty clear-cut. I'm not sure why you give a f*ck or why you need us to validate it for you.

dont need reassurance. posting this thread here cuz, why not, and two, cuz wtf is wrong with the world? im incredulous. why are you such a dick anyway>?

[johndeeregreen]

dont need reassurance.
:oldlol:

Whatever you need to tell yourself. Why don't you start a thread about what a jerk I am just so you can have some e-friends to back you up on that too? Clearly you aren't capable of making decisions without a general consensus behind you.

[Bourne]

:oldlol:

Whatever you need to tell yourself. Why don't you start a thread about what a jerk I am just so you can have some e-friends to back you up on that too? Clearly you aren't capable of making decisions without a general consensus behind you.

i DID make a decision against the general consensus. come at me hard, bro

come hard bro

[Scholar]

OP, you were in the right. You clearly have 4 terrible friends out of 6. Time to ditch those 4.

[Bourne]

no can ditch, im afraid. brother in law.

[OldSkoolball#52]

You're all adults. Mind your own f*cking business. You have no obligation to babysit anyone. Not saying what you did was wrong, but I'm not gonna say you're some white knight either.


Whoa, gonna have to disagree big time.

You cant play with that stuff man. They might all BE adults, doesnt mean they were all actin like ones.

Too many lives are lost or ruined thanks to drunk drivers. If you have the opportunity to prevent even the possibility of it happening to someone elses innocent family, do it.

I applaud you OP. "Principes over popularity", thats my motto. I hope you would do this again if you find yourself in the position again. You def have my support.

[iamgine]

I'm seen as having overstepped boundaries.

This person was one of 6 people at my house. He was not fit to drive under any conditions, that was certain. The others knew it, but they were not adamant that he not drive - I was the only one putting my foot down.

A cab was called, as the solution. guess who paid. would have drove him myself but I wasn't in a state to drive, and he had drank more than me!

Anyway now I'm getting told by one of them that 4 of the 6 others have since had lunch and a conversation took place where the gist of it was that I was overbearing. This has happened over the course of a whole entire week and I'm still ostracized after all this time? Where are peoples' priorities?

My execution could have been better, but in what world is that a consideration I have to make when I'm trying to save a friend's life?

I have to try so hard not to lose my cool and say "fine, **** you, next time, just stay to the right of the median, hit a tree on your side of the road not a family of four in the opposite lane"


Don't be the guy who does the right thing
It's called the art of persuasion. Nobody likes an overbearing person. If you're one of those people who hasn't mastered that art, then people are gonna hate you for doing the right thing (or the wrong thing). If that is the case then you need to apologize after doing the right things. It would smooth over a lot of the bad feelings.

There's a difference in how you approach it. You need to show that you really care about the person instead of showing care towards doing the right thing. If a friend takes my key from my hand and hide em and start to lecture me about safety of drinking and driving it will leave bad feelings. If he begged me not to drive, then take my key and beg me some more and show that he cares while calling a cab and paying for it, that will leave a very good impression of the person he is.

[Meticode]

:oldlol:

Whatever you need to tell yourself. Why don't you start a thread about what a jerk I am just so you can have some e-friends to back you up on that too? Clearly you aren't capable of making decisions without a general consensus behind you.
Damn, you're an asshole.

[Burgz V2]

he's alive and that's what matters, **** all that other noise.

[AintNoSunshine]

You did the right thing, your friend can't make the responsible decision you made one for him. Anyone who even think otherwise is a dumbazz

[Swaggin916]

Welcome to the world of responsible adults... it's a thankless job.

[Tarik One]

It's called the art of persuasion. Nobody likes an overbearing person. If you're one of those people who hasn't mastered that art, then people are gonna hate you for doing the right thing (or the wrong thing). If that is the case then you need to apologize after doing the right things. It would smooth over a lot of the bad feelings.

There's a difference in how you approach it. You need to show that you really care about the person instead of showing care towards doing the right thing. If a friend takes my key from my hand and hide em and start to lecture me about safety of drinking and driving it will leave bad feelings. If he begged me not to drive, then take my key and beg me some more and show that he cares while calling a cab and paying for it, that will leave a very good impression of the person he is.
If someone took your keys, how can it leave a bad impression the next day if you were drunk as a skunk the night before? You most likely will make a fuss about in during your drunken state, but you'll definitely forget all about after you wake up.

Also, why should a person have to resort to "begging" just to leave a good impression? If I'm committing an act to potentially save your life, I couldn't care less about making a good impression.

[ballup]

Everyone will get over it. It'll be a bad story of you and it'll be brought up once in a while, but in a couple of weeks, it should be water under the bridge.

[TheMan]

You obviously have 4 friends who are idiots.

You did the right thing, if only drunk drivers just killed themselves in accidents then **** them, let em drive drunk but those assholes kill innocent people too.

[MetsPackers]

Assuming the man was wasted, you absolutely did the right thing. When I was in high school we all used to drive drunk after parties and even joke about it, and have that johndeergreen dickhead attitude like "its their business" Then one night 4 of our friends leave a party all trashed, saying bye to everyone before leaving saying "oh dave's driving us home", the driver was drunk as fvck. About an hour later most of us are still there and we find out they somehow flipped the jeep they were in and all 4 of them died. You are also right that wherever they come from in legally responsible, not just bars. If they wana do that when youre not around, you can't stop them. And it is a fine line between being overbearing and responsible, but just use your best judgement because in those situations its better to be safe than sorry

[HarryCallahan]

How drunk are we talking about here? Me personally, I'm not so sure I don't drive just a little bit better after a few drinks...

[dunksby]

You don't have to worry about what idiots think of you, if morons think badly of you, you know where you stand in life :lol

[Kblaze8855]

I had a barely 7 year old family member killed by a drunk driver years ago. Dude drove up onto the sidewalk near a school in the afternoon.

You did the right thing. Ive stopped people from driving when crazy drunk. They never had a problem with it later. Some did at the time but...**** it.

Ive seen lots of somewhat drunk friends drive so its not an every time thing. But when it seems over the top ill step in. Only happened maybe 2-3 times in like 15 years though.

I once had a good friend knocking on my door...calling for me to come out and give him his keys....when I was next to him at the door. He told me...that I had his keys...not knowing who I was. He gradually sobered up and drove him. He was probably over the limit even then. But he was functional.

[DukeDelonte13]

i applaud bourne. Not enough people do what you do. I never let people drink and drive from my house. I don't want that on me.

[brantonli]

No idea.

Like I said, you probably did do the right thing, and if buddy is pissed off because you did, then f*ck him, but at the same time - you aren't his babysitter. If buddy wants to be a moron it's not your duty to stop him.

Isn't that the point of being a friend, that you help them out if they're being stupid/drunk?

[LJJ]

You did what you are supposed to do. Good on you for not giving in to peer pressure.

Also, your friend is a giant asshole.

[CeltsGarlic]

What the heck johndeere? Bourne did a right thing, no questions.

[Scholar]

no can ditch, im afraid. brother in law.

Are you married to his sister or is he married to yours?

Either way, talk to the female that is responsible for your connection. Hopefully she's understanding and thankful that you saved an ungrateful sh*thead. No offense. If dude is mad about you preventing him from either killing himself, killing other innocents or ending up in prison, he's a 'tard.

[rezznor]

You did the right thing, **** everyone else who says otherwise.
this, and if your friends are pissed about it, **** them. u deserve better friends.

i hate ingrates.

[kNicKz]

They had a lunch to talk about you?:oldlol:

What fgts

:roll:

tru

[I<3NBA]

You're all adults. Mind your own f*cking business. You have no obligation to babysit anyone. Not saying what you did was wrong, but I'm not gonna say you're some white knight either.
you're a fkn waste of space.

No idea.

Like I said, you probably did do the right thing, and if buddy is pissed off because you did, then f*ck him, but at the same time - you aren't his babysitter. If buddy wants to be a moron it's not your duty to stop him.
that would be all well and good if the moron is the only one going to die. how would you feel if you let your friend drive home after a night of drinking and then later on find out his car bulldozed a loved one? are you seriously this idiotic?

[MavsSuperFan]

you did the right thing legally and more importantly morally.

Drunk driving not only puts your life at risk, but more importantly the innocent people in the area you are driving.

I have heard if someone gets drunk at your place and you let them drive and something happens you could hold some responsibility.

[iamgine]

If someone took your keys, how can it leave a bad impression the next day if you were drunk as a skunk the night before? You most likely will make a fuss about in during your drunken state, but you'll definitely forget all about after you wake up.

Also, why should a person have to resort to "begging" just to leave a good impression? If I'm committing an act to potentially save your life, I couldn't care less about making a good impression.
Well of course it depends on how drunk I was. Obviously the guy in the story was sober enough to feel a certain way. Or his friends did.

It's called the art of persuasion. It's the difference between getting your message across and not being listened to. It's the difference between being an overbearing ass and a decent guy. It's the difference between making enemies and making friends.

[Bourne]

They had a lunch to talk about you?:oldlol:

What fgts

while that would be hilarious if true, they were just eating and the topic came up. they all work at the same job


"And now let us commence with our lunch discussion of the actions of one Bourne. Personally, I feel..."

[Bourne]

you did the right thing legally and more importantly morally.

Drunk driving not only puts your life at risk, but more importantly the innocent people in the area you are driving.

I have heard if someone gets drunk at your place and you let them drive and something happens you could hold some responsibility.

Actually I just researched it. Turns out you AREN'T legally responsible under the legal precedent set. However, that precedent was set in different situations - had the defendant had control/sufficient influence over the level-of-drunkness of the guest at their party, as a bar does over patrons who drink alcohol they are providing them, they could have been found culpable.

[outbreak]

You did the right thing and if your friends don't realise it then they're pretty stupid. I don't get why drink driving has become some sort of sign of coolness these days, it's just stupid when someone is clearly unable to drive. It isn't just their safety either it's everyone else on the road, think about if your driving with someone important to you kids/wife/family and some drunk driver loses control, hits your car and kills that person, would you be cool with that? Your posing the same risks to other people.

[Jameerthefear]

They had a lunch to talk about you?:oldlol:

What fgts
:roll: :applause:

[monkeypox]

Hard to say op. I have two friends that are no longer close because of a similar situation. They got into a physical altercation because of it. (Drunk guy tried to choke the guy with his keys.) The drunk guy got a DUI like a week later and got one just last year and he still thinks he was in the right.

And it's more than just mind your business or white knighting, if that person goes out and runs over someone you'd feel like shit. Some people might not give a shit I guess, but I'm guessing you do. Maybe it's hard for you to switch friends, but I'd honestly find a better class of people to hang out with if that's your stance. Or stop having parties if you don't want that responsibility.

[andremiller07]

You might need new or better friends to hang around tbh, if they talking behind your back and you potentially saved your friend from lots of trouble.