Compassion, or weakening society?

[Swaggin916]

This isn't any kind of new situation or question I about to pose, but I am in a revolutionary phase in my life where I am really dissecting every little thing (because I find it so fascinating) and I just have a question. The other day at the gym this young girl (maybe 13) wanted to play basketball with us. There were like 12 people there maybe so we shot for teams. To her credit, she made the shot so she could play (she couldn't shoot worth a shit so it was dumb luck). She couldn't really dribble or do anything of merit, so the guys just backed off, didn't play any defense, and let her throw up mostly bricks. she made a couple of shots and everyone went "heyyyy!" like it was a magical feat. Not going to lie it made me puke in my mouth. IMO it's an insult and completely useless. Does it make her better? No. Is it fun for anybody else? Not anyone who wants to actually compete. All it can do is give a clueless person a temporary sense of satisfaction and make the ones giving it feel a little mother Theresa-ish or something. I'm not saying I would have gone up and ripped the ball out of her hands... I'm not trying to frighten the kid, but I wouldn't have let her get a shot off if she couldn't on her own. On top of that her mom was there watching... and she pulled her little girl out of the game in the middle of it. What a waste she didn't even finish the game! So it's ok to suck, get special treatment, and it's ok to bail??? Great messages sent there.

It sickens me man... and we are a bunch of enablers just letting this stuff happen. What's going to happen to these people? They are going to get a reality check sooner or later why wait? I had a great childhood and could do basically whatever I wanted... including quit when things got a little tough. Now what? I am 25 and having to learn a lot of the tough crap on my own. It does no services to anyone.

That being said, I would have pulled the little girl aside and explained to her why I was doing what I was doing to prevent possible psychological damage. That's all it freakin takes! Explain to them what's up and that if they want to play they need to step their game up cus the world doesn't revolve around them and their fragile ego.

Thoughts?

[gigantes]

it

[Jailblazers7]

All of this over a pick-up game? It's not like she coasted through life and ended up in the WNBA because people were too nice to play tough against her.

There will be hundreds of instances in life where she just has to accept that she isn't good enough, isn't smart enough, etc. I think she is fully capable of learning that lesson without getting owned in a pick-up game. I think to some degree it is a level of empathy on the part of random people when stuff like this happens because everyone knows what it is like to fail. It can be nice to throw someone a softball in a meaningless setting just to seem them get excited about a small success.

You could have just warned her that it was a serious game and that it either 1) is going to be a difficult game or 2) maybe she should sit out if she doesn't feel up to it.

[TheReal Kendall]

It was a pick up game though, nothing serious.

We wouldn't have let her play at our gym though. There's two ends for 1 for kids and the other for more skilled players.

I feel what you're saying but she's still a kid.

Like guy above said you wouldn't have been wrong to challenge her a bit and the others wasn't wrong for backing off.

I don't like playing with girls period no matter how old they are cause it's just not challenging for me and you always have to play softer than normal with them.

[Swaggin916]

Yea giga when there are two kids it's easy... pit em against each other and let em go to work every now and then. No problems there. Does it ruin the game a little bit? Yea but at least the kids can battle each other.

Everyone does know what it's like to fail exactly... but that's a human dysfunction. Failing is not a bad thing. Knowing you aren't worthy yet isn't a bad thing... because if you want it bad enough then you will get it and not worry about the struggle. If there is no struggle then there is hardly a reward. I don't like this pretending BS. There are plenty of places and situations where you can do that. There are 13 year old girl leagues, retard leagues, probably midget leagues, etc.

I am not worried about right or wrong... no such thing. This is more of a principle of the matter thing. Sounds like people are just kind of on the fence with it though which I kind of expected. It's a bit of an awkward situation. And here's the thing... Some people may say oh it's a pickup it's not serious. Did somebody tell Kenneth Faried that you don't play serious in an all Star game? Nah man F that he played his game and played serious and didn't let the situation dictate what he was going to do. I respect the hell out of that. He didn't do the role play BS.

[gigantes]

i'm not on the fence, but i am indeed trying to see the different POV's and factors involved. just the tao, or middle way, in operation.


it's not really a novel situation to me. almost every exercise in sports or life competition is a certain mismatch. my goal is to meet my own needs, create room to allow the opponent to meet theirs, and if the mismatch is great enough, to bring in a teacher-student aspect to the competition. something for everyone, and everyone wins. when possible, of course.


other times you need to bring out the animal and go for the kill... as the situation warrants.

[KevinNYC]

This isn't any kind of new situation or question I about to pose, but I am in a revolutionary phase in my life where I am really dissecting every little thing (because I find it so fascinating) and I just have a question. The other day at the gym this young girl (maybe 13) wanted to play basketball with us. There were like 12 people there maybe so we shot for teams. To her credit, she made the shot so she could play (she couldn't shoot worth a shit so it was dumb luck). She couldn't really dribble or do anything of merit, so the guys just backed off, didn't play any defense, and let her throw up mostly bricks. she made a couple of shots and everyone went "heyyyy!" like it was a magical feat. Not going to lie it made me puke in my mouth. IMO it's an insult and completely useless. Does it make her better? No. Is it fun for anybody else? Not anyone who wants to actually compete. All it can do is give a clueless person a temporary sense of satisfaction and make the ones giving it feel a little mother Theresa-ish or something. I'm not saying I would have gone up and ripped the ball out of her hands... I'm not trying to frighten the kid, but I wouldn't have let her get a shot off if she couldn't on her own. On top of that her mom was there watching... and she pulled her little girl out of the game in the middle of it. What a waste she didn't even finish the game! So it's ok to suck, get special treatment, and it's ok to bail??? Great messages sent there.

It sickens me man... and we are a bunch of enablers just letting this stuff happen. What's going to happen to these people? They are going to get a reality check sooner or later why wait? I had a great childhood and could do basically whatever I wanted... including quit when things got a little tough. Now what? I am 25 and having to learn a lot of the tough crap on my own. It does no services to anyone.

That being said, I would have pulled the little girl aside and explained to her why I was doing what I was doing to prevent possible psychological damage. That's all it freakin takes! Explain to them what's up and that if they want to play they need to step their game up cus the world doesn't revolve around them and their fragile ego.

Thoughts?

WTF?