Uncommon Whip-Lash

[Josh]

caught whip-lash from a head-on-collision 'cause the firey brunette riding parallel decided to do a tit-flash in broad daylight, yeah you could say 45 minutes earlier I was still seeing headlights layin' there in the hospital bed paralyzed from the neck down but my pipes still workin' and all I wanted to do was jack it to split second image of them mountainous cannons, but even better than that the bitch responsible for the wreck showed up on the set dressed like a nurse this was definitely a first perhaps a pity **** at this point I'll take it...

two seconds she was naked, on top titties shakin' the same ones that put me in this bed spinal cord achin' but didn't give a fuc kmutha****a I was takin' heart monitor beepin' off the charts the real nurse came in stunned her jaw dropped so I pulled her closer and her thong dropped too next thing I knew, it was rumble in the jungle two hot as hell black nurses one crippled white dude spittin' on one puss splittin' open the next, raw dog **** the condoms hospitals are supposed to be clean so the rubber we just forgets-about-it, the real nurse ridin' me silly like the wild cowboy Billy but I ain't no kid, in fact had the fake nurse wantin' a baby by me...

tellin' me when I *** she wants me inside her fill the gas tank up every last drop that's when I knew play time was over I said STOP STOP STOP … told them it's been fun and all but this is where it ends pulled the real nurse from off top of me and let the seamen party begin ejaculation explode all over myself yeah it's less fun that way but at least no kids be takin' my wealth. They were pissed I was straight with a huge smile on my face I got what I wanted in the ordeal turned over went to sleep the next morning had mommy bring me Happy Meal. =)

[MadeFromDust]

[QUOTE=Josh]caught whip-lash from a head-on-collision 'cause the firey brunette riding parallel decided to do a tit-flash in broad daylight, yeah you could say 45 minutes earlier I was still seeing headlights layin' there in the hospital bed paralyzed from the neck down but my pipes still workin' and all I wanted to do was jack it to split second image of them mountainous cannons, but even better than that the bitch responsible for the wreck showed up on the set dressed like a nurse this was definitely a first perhaps a pify **** at this point I'll take it...

two seconds she was naked, on top titties shakin' the same ones that put me in this bed spinal cord achin' but didn't give a fuc kmutha****a I was takin' heart monitor beepin' off the charts the real nurse came in stunned her jaw dropped so I pulled her closer and her thong dropped too next thing I knew, it was rumble in the jungle two hot as hell black nurses one crippled white dude spittin' on one puss splittin' open the next, raw dog **** the condoms hospitals are supposed to be clean so the rubber we just forgets-about-it, the real nurse ridin' me silly like the wild cowboy Billy but I ain't no kid, in fact had the fake nurse wantin' a baby by me...

tellin' me when I *** she wants me inside her fill the gas tank up every last drop that's when I knew play time was over I said STOP STOP STOP

[tomtucker]

cool story. whiplash sucks man.

but meth apparently rules :rockon:

[East_Stone_Ya]

but meth apparently rules :rockon:

nah he pops pills

[Lonely_Sandberg]

http://www.abload.de/img/holt1kqs7p.gif

[Josh]

ain't no story... non-fiction man bitches was trippin whip-lash in the whip totaled it out collect the insurance State Farm was there to compensate me for the damage done by the pair - of knockers real boppers on top of her but I knew somethin' was fishy like a lobster tried to say the insurance claim was fraud claimin' I'm a mobster or even worse a second class robbery I told them dudes I was an avid criminal atVo best how the **** I'mma pull off some next level shit Kenny Powers got my back, Stevie Jenowski too that's when I became enraged like a bulletproof tiger who just escaped from the zoo, ran up on fools rippin' ligaments apart straight legitimate you can be the beginning I'mma put an end to it you ain't no friend to his ... majesty, my whip-lash mash was a tragedy and this insurance check is mine damn it I don't care if the twin brother of CP3 at State Farm is mad at me I was the one who got "clipped" anyway so what the problem is? if you flash that cash I'mma rob his I'mma rob hers takin' wallets snatchin' purse running from the cops 'bout to hit 20 miles per hour borderline heart burst might try and pull a Boston bomber and hide in a boat but if the owner takes it out to the lake I'mma a goner cause I can't float I can't swim it'd be over

it'd be the end no more cash, no more whip-lash no more friends just me sinking to the bottom of the lake like Jason Vorhees hopefully, I come back to life holdin' a machete chop off the domes of a couple ****** on jet skis blood everywhere squirtin' off the top both bodies headless addicted to chop coast to coast it's a hobby legless too, all ligaments find themselves droppin' like it's hot, they end is imminent and I'm to zenith not to finish, hit up the dentist I need some laughing gas before I run up on some bloods and blast, smash, hit ht gas and dash get the **** out of dodge hop in the Ford, not the Expedition but some old as Contour shit ***** nothin' nice like that plus with the price of petroleum being so high I should really get a bike maybe one that could fly, get the late great Doc Brown from Back to the Future to invent me a flying bicycle time machine, runs on piss all I gotta do is urinate when I wanna travel the great deep dark galaxies and I've watch enough History Channel and Discovery to navigate the deep dark cosmic seas I'll be the first white man on Mars cause we all know the Polynesians got there first they built pyramids and left what looks like a man's face on the surface any other supposed scientific data is worthless and I know it hurts this Mars fanatics fan club who wants to be on that ship when it first arrives on the red planet but got damn it I done told yall the t-rip would be insignificant if you wanna be a "first" at something be the first man on Mercury now that's a feat ...

just be sure you land on the dark side the cool side otherwise you'll be fried before you even touch down mission accomplished denied, everyone back in Houston laughin' at you, Dwight Howard with a headset on sayin' "Man who almost landed on Mercury, you got a problem" and with his last breath the man who almost landed said "yeah well the closest you'll ever get to getting a ring was back on Orlando when you blew it against the Lakeshow because you weren't a leader then, you ain't a leader now - WOW! is anyone surprised?" everyone in the rooms looks at everyone else then they look at Dwight and say "nope" ... so he rips off his shirt pissed off slams his headset on the desk and says I ain't playin for the Rockets anymore **** the contract I'll threaten to quit the sport for good like Carson Palmer did with the Bengals - but yo, that angle won't work, this is the NBA and the star players ain't got it like that; yeah they can make it rain but when it comes to contract negotiations rules and regulations all you guys do is bend over and absorb the pain. OUCH OUCH OUCH oh it HURTS it HURTS someone quick call a nurse the backside of the invincible superman is bleeding uncontrollably he's cryin' for his mommy sayin' "hold me hold me!" ... but she ain't there, she's out spendin' his money, on clothes jewelry and crack... Paul Wall said it best, "I'm from the city that's proud to serve big crack rocks where twenty dollars get you higher than an astronaut" ... and we in Houston mang, where they throw them thangs but Dwight, shiiiiieeeeet, that e-ga ain't never been in a scrap, tried to pull the Kobe and Shaq, get on a record and rap but that muh****a did nothin' bu embarrass himself, a hundred million dollars ain't enough to redeem for all the whackness ain't not one satisfied like them Burger King satisfries man just look into his eyes and you can see it's all lies it's all about status and he ain't the one holdin' the prize. Dude'll never has his hands on the Larry O'Brien.

Jordan had it six times, LeBron gonna get his too, Kobe had it five, Dwight swears before he'll hoist it too, but that's bullshit and the only way it's happening is if he's #2 no way he's the first option on a team that wins it all, in fact I doubt he's even winnin in the Robin role, probably be more like Karl Malone back of the bus and shit 38 years old garbage minutes at best might make it to the Finals in a decade from now his team get blown out in four or five... droppin' to the floor cryin' ... but why? Back when the Magic lost to the Lakers it's was all good ... Dwight was still smiling it was fun and games he was just ridin the wave of just being there like "shit ***** I'll be back man y times what the **** do I care?" Over the years fans turn to haters and unlike champions my e-gas Kevin Garnett and The Truth, people respected them even if their titles came near the end, but for them, it was real from day one no monkey'n around thinkin' they got mad years to contend. As sad as it is Dwight Howard is a loser and always has been, always will be. Yeah he can fill a stat sheet, might give you a couple nights where he grabs 30 boards and 30 points to match, but what's all that mean if u can't close out a seven game series and be the leader of the batch, you mo-re of a baby than a Cabbage Patch kid, you never had leadership from within - from the day your egg hatched you was a clown goofin off never took a single got damn thang serious and the consequence is no rings, not now, not ever. and yeah e-ga you can blame it on the pieces around you blame it on the weather, but fact of the matter is you was never a go-getter,

even worse you were just as sorry and pathetic as that go getter poster at InsideHoops, and honestly, hopefully you read this, rally ya mental troops stop actin' more goofy than that bird on the box of Fruit Loops, start winning games that matter instead of losing and saying "OOOOPS" and then pointing the finger at others. "It was the other player fault; I did my job, I snatched 22 rebounds and had 17 points - yeah I had 11 turnovers but hey shit happen, right? ... and if Yao Ming were still here ya'll wouldn't be grillin him blamin' him for the loss but nah you gotta blame D.How somehow someway it's all my fault, but what about the coaching staff, what about the owners, hell what about the fans even! they were booing when I missed all twelve of my free throws shit make me so mad wanna pull a Ron Artest run up in the stands and bash the heads of some fans for ****in with Superman and **** it if I could get away with it I'd blast you reporters too call my Gilbert Arenas see if I could borrow a gun or two. I'm sick of not winning not coming in first being number 2. got damn it I'm Dwight Howard and the world gonna respect what I do. I'm an NBA superstar top 3 player in the world, and I might not have as much money as LeBron James or Kobe but I could have they girls.

I know the fans love them some D.How. I know I'm they favorite, I know they can't wait to get to the games and watch me break shit they munchin' on they popcorn as I fly the through the sky jam it and make it, possibly shatter the backboard glass goes everywhere cuts one of the cheerleaders she runs to the back strips down naked Kevin McHale ran to the back too had to get a glimpse apple *** pie was what his balls was bakin' ... good thing it was half time so he (McHale) could flush his pipes - but back to the real deal and that's the success of Dwight Howard, or should I say lack thereof - dude the only way you winnin' a title is a surefire blessing from the man up above and I doubt He's gonna help you, why should He? He's given you a world class talent and you'9ve virtually wasted it, face it kid, one day you gonna want that ring so bad you can taste it, but you gonna be in a predicament and in time you'll be erased and shit. No one will remember ya name, no one will remember ya game, all they'll remember is just how silly and lame you took the game of basketball. How you took the NBA for granted. You'll finish your career without a championship because of your tomfoolery antics. You'll be in your late 30's mode be panic, you'll sink quicker than the Titanic and truth be told you've already hit the iceberg. At one time you were a phenom, now you're just a turd and that's word to Big Bird, Larry himself would agree it doesn't take a "rocket" scientist to see just how ****ed up you turned out to be. I hope they castrate you dawg, grind 'em up then scatter them all throughout the seven seas...