In a relationship with someone significantly smarter than me, need advice

[jongib369]

Been in a relationship with a girl who I consider to be a lot more intelligent than I am for about 2 months. Even though I've always had a tendency to underestimate myself and realize I'm not dumb compared to a lot of people I've stumbled upon over the years, I'm just being honest with myself.... So far things have gone fairly well, but there are times when I run out of things to talk about that make awkward silences...To the point she's commented on it....A lot of it has to do with the fact I don't expose myself to nearly as much information as she does on a daily basis but at the same time if I did, I know I wouldn't be able to comprehend it nor talk about it on her level....So my question is, do you think a relationship can work when one of the partners is SIGNIFICANTLY smarter than the other? And what advice would you give to someone like me to be able to actually stimulate her in conversation? I've tried asking her about the things she's passionate about more, but there's only so many times someone can give you information about them self without expecting something on the same level in return. Even the things that I consider myself passionate about now I cant talk about in as much depth as she does the things she enjoys. I feel like an Atari 2600 hanging out with a ps4. I'm realistic knowing it's a young relationship and it wont be the end of the world if it ends....I'm just aiming for someone who I never would of even thought about trying to get in the past out of fear of what I just told you, but refuse to just twiddle my thumbs and give up.

Is it just as simple as trying to expose myself to more and hope that the knowledge I do gain though not on the same level as her will be appreciated....Hoping that it's enough to put a spark into things again

[TheReal Kendall]

Just be yourself :cheers:

[jongib369]

Just be yourself :cheers:
http://31.media.tumblr.com/e620bf945276e548de6980c9704fcee6/tumblr_n68rxt5Thw1td15w4o1_1280.jpg

[Le Shaqtus]

Next time there is an awkward silence, be like "the fellas get it". If she doesn't budge, smack her directly across the mouth.

I chuckled :oldlol:

[nathanjizzle]

alot of couples are like that, guy is a brute and the woman is the sophisticated type. You can learn to be interested in the more sophisticated things like politics, technology, reading ect. but if thats not really your thing then dont do it just to be someone you think she will like. If you are the inert type and dont always speak whats on your mind, then its probably not a good match:confusedshrug:

you probably want someone that can sit in the passenger seat quiet, but still not feel awkward.

also i think the problem is is that you are starting to judge her and putting her as "better" than you. dont do that breh.

[jongib369]

Just be yourself :cheers:
It is good advice though to be serious. Since she's as smart as she is I found myself being more self critical as things got more serious. The first few dates, when I felt free to be myself were some of the best times I've had with someone


:cheers:

[sick_brah07]

Next time there is an awkward silence, be like "the fellas get it". If she doesn't budge, smack her directly across the mouth.


LMFAO

[Bandito]

Dude just f*ck it. You are never going to be smarter than her and she knows it. She's not with you for your smarts, if you know what I mean...

[jongib369]

Dude just f*ck it. You are never going to be smarter than her and she knows it. She's not with you for your smarts, if you know what I mean...
http://static.fjcdn.com/pictures/5+Dollar+footlong.+Ms+Paint+Level+100.+Pure+Oc_d36 618_3306645.jpg

[ace23]

What does she talk about that makes you feel so dumb?

[eliteballer]

A lot of it has to do with the fact I don't expose myself to nearly as much information as she does on a daily basis but at the same time if I did, I know I wouldn't be able to comprehend it nor talk about it on her level....

Well it all starts with making an effort.

[BigBoss]

PLEASE read "Love is a Fallacy" by Max Schulman. Excellent short story on love and what people don't get about it.


http://www.whstigers.org/UserFiles/Servers/Server_4255074/File/Hopper/Love%20Is%20a%20Fallacy.pdf


Your answer is in there. ( it's good news)

[eliteballer]

What does she talk about that makes you feel so dumb?

Yeah...you can't leave this out. But that giant paragraph with grammatical errors left and right makes me think it must be a lot.

[stalkerforlife]

I have never thought a woman was smarter than me.

Better manipulator? Sure. More immoral? Absolutely.

[Jailblazers7]

Just be willing to learn from her and be a good listener. She will appreciate you trying to engage in things outside of your comfort zone instead of being awkwardly silent because you don't already know everything.

[jongib369]

What does she talk about that makes you feel so dumb?
Whether it's politics, science or almost any random fact you could think of she knows something about it. She listens to a LOT of podcasts, and will either go off agreeing or disagreeing. She'll talk about her favorite shows, one of which being game of thrones and I'll be sitting there totally captivated but only being able to throw in little quips. And although I don't expose myself to new information nearly as often as I could, I know I can't comprehend it on her level like I said in the OP.

[ace23]

Whether it's politics, science or almost any random fact you could think of she knows something about it. She listens to a LOT of podcasts, and will either go off agreeing or disagreeing. She'll talk about her favorite shows, one of which being game of thrones and I'll be sitting there totally captivated but only being able to throw in little quips. And although I don't expose myself to new information nearly as often as I could, I know I can't comprehend it on her level like I said in the OP.
Sounds like she just cares about a lot of shit. Doesn't make her smart. I know that does nothing to solve your problem, but I'm just saying.

[jongib369]

Yeah...you can't leave this out. But that giant paragraph with grammatical errors left and right makes me think it must be a lot.
https://31.media.tumblr.com/c47350ff500e84c7bd6c7d21638d469d/tumblr_mwpur5bfr11snbvlto1_400.gif

:oldlol: :cheers:

[jongib369]

:coleman:

You need to believe in yourself more, homie.
Mentioned it because I can't talk about the shows I like the same way she does. Should have left it out since it's just repeating the same point

[Scoooter]

If the conversation is dying out into an awkward silence every time you run out of things to say, then she must not be much of a conversationalist either. She's allegedly a lot smarter than you are, but she's expecting you to lead every conversation. Doesn't compute.

Tell her if she ain't talkin' she better be suckin'. Then talk about how hot her mom is.

[Scoooter]

Next time there is an awkward silence, be like "the fellas get it". If she doesn't budge, smack her directly across the mouth.

:roll: :roll:

Killed me. Well done. :applause: :applause:

[jongib369]

Just be willing to learn from her and be a good listener. She will appreciate you trying to engage in things outside of your comfort zone instead of being awkwardly silent because you don't already know everything.
Very true thanks for the advice. I've been asking her more about the stuff she's interested in to cut into the silence and because I'm genuinely interested...But if doing that, and making more effort to learn new things to start conversations about isn't enough it just wasn't meant to be.


http://rack.1.mshcdn.com/media/ZgkyMDEzLzA3LzE4Lzc2L0p1c3RpbkxvbmcuZjg2NmEuZ2lmCn AJdGh1bWIJMTIwMHg5NjAwPg/30099433/f0c/Justin-Long.gif

[jongib369]

PLEASE read "Love is a Fallacy" by Max Schulman. Excellent short story on love and what people don't get about it.


http://www.whstigers.org/UserFiles/Servers/Server_4255074/File/Hopper/Love%20Is%20a%20Fallacy.pdf


Your answer is in there. ( it's good news)
Will do, I'll tell you my thoughts once I get the chance.

[ace23]

Next time there is an awkward silence, be like "the fellas get it". If she doesn't budge, smack her directly across the mouth.
Bruh I don't get this at all.

[Jameerthefear]

Bruh I don't get this at all.
i don't either. moe so ghetto

[Cactus-Sack]

OP is dumber than a woman?



:yaohappy:

[eliteballer]

Whether it's politics, science or almost any random fact you could think of she knows something about it. She listens to a LOT of podcasts, and will either go off agreeing or disagreeing. She'll talk about her favorite shows, one of which being game of thrones and I'll be sitting there totally captivated but only being able to throw in little quips. And although I don't expose myself to new information nearly as often as I could, I know I can't comprehend it on her level like I said in the OP.

First, that doesn't mean she is smart...2nd. Pick her brain. Ask her WHY she doesn't agree or disagree etc.ask her ABOUT the random facts...women love to talk about themselves.

[Le Shaqtus]

PLEASE read "Love is a Fallacy" by Max Schulman. Excellent short story on love and what people don't get about it.


http://www.whstigers.org/UserFiles/Servers/Server_4255074/File/Hopper/Love%20Is%20a%20Fallacy.pdf


Your answer is in there. ( it's good news)

That was a good read :cheers:

[Fallguy20]

Let me give you some perspective... please? Maybe it will help, maybe not.


For every strength there is an opposite and equally strong weakness. Not as in, "He's physically fit, but he's dumb", but with the exact same characteristic.

Story----> I once had a girlfriend who was very tender hearted. She took everything way too literally. You could hurt her feelings with the tiniest things. I hated it.

One day, during an argument, she said through tears, "well yknow, maybe I should just get a thicker skin, then stuff like this wouldn't bother me".

Thats when it hit me: "... hun, I don't want you to get thicker skin. Because of how you are you know how to help me when I need you most, and you are sensitive to other peoples needs... you really see people that everyone else just ignores" (paraphrasing).


Is her being thin skinned a negative? Yes, but also a positive.


NOW!

... look at yourself man. What are the strengths associated with your situation? You are a good listener because you are not just waiting your turn to speak all the time, for example. Im sure you could find many others. Go at it from that angle.

Capisce?

[iamgine]

Been in a relationship with a girl who I consider to be a lot more intelligent than I am for about 2 months. Even though I've always had a tendency to underestimate myself and realize I'm not dumb compared to a lot of people I've stumbled upon over the years, I'm just being honest with myself.... So far things have gone fairly well, but there are times when I run out of things to talk about that make awkward silences...To the point she's commented on it....A lot of it has to do with the fact I don't expose myself to nearly as much information as she does on a daily basis but at the same time if I did, I know I wouldn't be able to comprehend it nor talk about it on her level....So my question is, do you think a relationship can work when one of the partners is SIGNIFICANTLY smarter than the other? And what advice would you give to someone like me to be able to actually stimulate her in conversation? I've tried asking her about the things she's passionate about more, but there's only so many times someone can give you information about them self without expecting something on the same level in return. Even the things that I consider myself passionate about now I cant talk about in as much depth as she does the things she enjoys. I feel like an Atari 2600 hanging out with a ps4. I'm realistic knowing it's a young relationship and it wont be the end of the world if it ends....I'm just aiming for someone who I never would of even thought about trying to get in the past out of fear of what I just told you, but refuse to just twiddle my thumbs and give up.

Is it just as simple as trying to expose myself to more and hope that the knowledge I do gain though not on the same level as her will be appreciated....Hoping that it's enough to put a spark into things again
Smarter in what way? Anyone with high level of common sense can hang when talking about almost anything, unless technical stuff.

[GimmeThat]

Understand what makes you happy about your relationship. If you understand that she understands more about certain issues than you, then I hope you'd stopped the arguing already.

Because clearly, having those issues being dictated by you is what makes you happy. If that's what makes you happy, you are better off with someone who listens to you. This is in the case that these issues CAN be dictated by those who are in the realtionship

If we are simply talking about intellectual conversations, about issues the two of you have no control over. I actually don't even understand why the two of you would be arguing. Besides the fact it's really more like one lecturing the other, and assuming one is smarter than the other, until the truth comes out where she isn't smarter than you as you expected.

How you'd like to handle that.

GLWTS

[GimmeThat]

Smarter in what way? Anyone with high level of common sense can hang when talking about almost anything, unless technical stuff.


I can just hear the girl/guy screaming "everything is technical with you" before their eventual break up.

Just saying.

[Myth]

If your partner is so smart, why don't you ask her for the advice?

[poido123]

Next time there is an awkward silence, be like "the fellas get it". If she doesn't budge, smack her directly across the mouth.


:lol

[poido123]

I'm surprised no one has said if she's so smart then why is she with you? :D

[GimmeThat]

I'm surprised no one has said if she's so smart then why is she with you? :D

what good is all that power in which she possess without anyone to adore and admire?

[GimmeThat]

Everybody's an idiot in some way. Fact of life.

it's worked out better for me than you'd have ever imagined I tell ya

[Nick Young]

she is still emotionally insecure and needy just like all women are. Dont let her political talk distract your from this fact. Also just ask her to explain her opinions about shit and ask her about herself. A woman's favorite subject is herself, this woman is no different.

[Nick Young]

Whether it's politics, science or almost any random fact you could think of she knows something about it. She listens to a LOT of podcasts, and will either go off agreeing or disagreeing. She'll talk about her favorite shows, one of which being game of thrones and I'll be sitting there totally captivated but only being able to throw in little quips. And although I don't expose myself to new information nearly as often as I could, I know I can't comprehend it on her level like I said in the OP.
sounds like the kind of thing that will grate on your nerves a year in after the honeymoon phase has worn off. I hate people who never stop talking, nothing grinds my gears more. If she's uncomfortable with silence that's her problem, not yours.

[GimmeThat]

If she's uncomfortable with silence that's her problem, not yours.

her showing that fact that she is uncomfortable with silence, would be her way of talking about herself.

which means, she either just thinks you're dumb as f*ck
or she's struggling with how to make you smarter


I guess you can always tell her "I don't care about being smart, I just want to be in a relationship with you"

[Eye Test]

this doesnt look good my friend, i can photoshop an iq test for you to show her, she'll realize those are genius silence moments you are having and wouldn't dare to question you

[KobesFinger]

Not all silences are awkward, sometimes its nice to just be in the company of your S/O. Read the news to stay up to date with the world.