COMEDY SPOT at ISH: Live from the OTC - 2014 Version

[sweggeh]

Yep, L.Kizzles horrible, disastrous failure of a thread is being resurrected in a new, 2014 format. Any budding comedian can sign up here.

P.S. You dont get paid.

1# Sweggeh
2# IamRAMBO24
3# 9erempire
4# russwest

[IamRAMBO24]

Sign me up .. how does this work ? .. Do we write material or something ?

[Theoo]

damn i love a comedin . very dissapoint that shark dont not do comeding . when i was child i say to my dad i want be comedin . here are my jokes ; what are a deal with iceland zoo ?? i am right ? why fk** i well go to zoo to see a sheeps and cow ? men and whole zoo smell like a horse shits . if i want see cow i go to nauruprude mom house i am right or what , or that is whale maybe not cow . and talk about whales why do peoples not pur obesity woman to zoo? it are very impressive whale mammel that dont not need water survive . if there were whale zoo i well go there 159-200 time a year i am right ?

[sweggeh]

Sign me up .. how does this work ? .. Do we write material or something ?

Yeah we just take turns writing material and then doing a set. I'll sign you up.

[sweggeh]

damn i love a comedin . very dissapoint that shark dont not do comeding . when i was child i say to my dad i want be comedin . here are my jokes ; what are a deal with iceland zoo ?? i am right ? why fk** i well go to zoo to see a sheeps and cow ? men and whole zoo smell like a horse shits . if i want see cow i go to nauruprude mom house i am right or what , or that is whale maybe not cow . and talk about whales why do peoples not pur obesity woman to zoo? it are very impressive whale mammel that dont not need water survive . if there were whale zoo i well go there 159-200 time a year i am right ?

Couldnt agree more. :D

[IamRAMBO24]

Yeah we just take turns writing material and then doing a set. I'll sign you up.

Here is a skit I wrote a while back. It is about a vietnamese immigrant who recently came to the US and he hates his life because he's a mail order groom stuck with a really nasty fat girl who is only using him for sex. Here's a sample of one I wrote in Christmas:

Quoc killed Christmas

......

(Crackling noise coming from the chimney)

Quoc: HELLLLLLLLOOO .. Yo I don't know who it is. You come out now!

Santa: HO HO MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Quoc: Oh my got! Fat boy get out now! I have no food!

Santa: Wait! Wait! I'm Santa Claus. What are you doing with a pair chopsticks.

Quoc: I poke you eye out now! You get out of hea now or I call polite!

Santa: I am here to give you presents. Put that lethal weapon down!

Quoc: Oh .. (Quoc slowly puts the chopsticks in his pockets but cups one with his back hand facing Santa "just in case")

Where my present?

Santa: Well unfortunately, I don't have one for you this year. Rumor has it you suck ass, is this true?

Quoc: What? You lie! I no believe you. I good boy.

Santa: What about the time when you went to watch the Forbidden Kingdom?

Quoc: What you say? Good time for everybody. We go out, buy popcorn, joke around, watch good movie, firt time Jet da man fight Jackie da wimp, fun for all. I don't no what you talking about.

Santa: Don't lie to me. I know everything. You got into a fight. What happened?

Quoc: I watch movie, Jackie hit da man Jet, I got mad, so I say "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" Jackie go run like guh! He alway run, but no, he stay to hit Jet, so I mad. Then the stoopid guh in front say, "SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH BE QUIET!" I say "NO!" I no scare of little guh, but then her big daddy come back, I scare.

Santa: Her dad happens to be a hero. He saved 10 children from a fire on a limp leg on 9/11. All he did was told you to be quiet like you should be in the first, and what did you do?

Quoc: Nuttin. That it. I quiet and watch Jet kcik lots of ass.

Santa: Don't lie to me Quoc.

Quoc: Ok, ok, I take shoe off, put foot forward, and into popcorn.

Santa: And how long did you put your bare foot in their popcorn?

Quoc: Not long.

Santa: You kept your foot in there long enough for the girl to see it. When she reached out to grab for some hot delicious popcorn, she ended up grabbing a huge steaming pile of nasty feet. You could of dipped it in there and quickly retreat, but you didn't, you wanted her to be traumatized for the rest of her life. She can no longer eat popcorn.

Quoc: I so sorry.

Santa: It's too late to be sorry, you're not getting anything this year.

Quoc: What the heo? All thee year I hear you come. I say I like beer, playboy, hot guh, vitiogem, I say plea combine all! Vitiogem wit hot nekkid guh and beer come out vitiogem, but no. Every yeer I wait. I stay up all night, I no want miss you, I pee in corner of living room, it stink like heo, now you come and tell me I get nuttin?

Santa: That's right, you get absolutely nothing at all until you straighten your act up.

Quoc: I hate you.

Santa: You know what, screw you. I used to live at the Fed Ex, but I kept on getting harrassed by annoying spoiled brats like you for more presents, so I moved to the North Pole to get away. Have you ever experienced a million rabid mongoose slowly eating the flesh off your *******? That's what it feels like freezing my nuts off every morning. You don't know what it's like to be Santa Claus, so please kindly shut the hell up. Do you know how many presents I have to carry around? Every kid wants a Playstation 3 or an Xbox and that sh*t weighs a ton. It's not like the good old days when I used to pass out the wooden pad with a ball at the end, hell, I should start passing out condoms so all these skanks will stop producing spoiled brats who want more, more, without a thought of giving back. And I'm sick and tired of Rudolf pissing all the freakin' time. Everytime when I deliver a present, I'm wondering if I'm really Santa or that girl in the R Kelly video. Why do you think he's got a red nose? Whenever he's about to piss, it lights up telling me to duck before I get a golden shower. And The North Pole is the most boring place on earth. Do you think I can hit up the clubs whenever I want or go to the movies and watch Avatar like you brats get to do? NO! The only thing remotely interesting is watching an elf screw a penguin! I'm done with you! I'm done with Christmas! Screw this, I'm signing up for retirement.
And there you have it, that's why Christmas sucks nowadays.

Quoc killed Christmas by forcing Santa into retirement.

The end.

[IamRAMBO24]

I have a lot of material. Now I'm curious to see what you guys have.

[sweggeh]

Yeah, um, well, thats great and all, but lets just keep it to stand up, mkay? Maybe we have skits next time.

[IamRAMBO24]

Yeah, um, well, thats great and all, but lets just keep it to stand up, mkay? Maybe we have skits next time.

I have that too.

[Le Shaqtus]

Good concept, won't join because I don't have the time to come up with stuff but I'd like to watch it unfold :cheers:

[sweggeh]

Ok, I will kick off the show for our readers while the new comedians prepare their acts.

How are you all today? Enjoying the NBA off season I presume. How bout that Lebron, huh? Going back to Cleveland? I mean REALLY? Its called Cleveland for a reason. It where people leave. I mean what does he see in Akron anyway. The place couldn't sound more ghetto if it tried. Oh well, I hope Lebron enjoys his new adventure with his rag tag group of failed No.1 picks and over fanatical, bordering past stalkerish new/old fanbase.

What are you gonna do. Everything in life changes eventually, except ISH. This site give me the nostalgic feeling. It reminds me of my childhood. Mostly because it looks as though it hasnt been upgraded since, well ever and still looks the same as it did back when Jeff was rocking a mullet and campaigning for segregated bathrooms.

Well, I think its time to pass things over to our next guest, before I enter TL;DR territory. Without further ado, IamRAMBO!!

[ArbitraryWater]

damn i love a comedin . very dissapoint that shark dont not do comeding . when i was child i say to my dad i want be comedin . here are my jokes ; what are a deal with iceland zoo ?? i am right ? why fk** i well go to zoo to see a sheeps and cow ? men and whole zoo smell like a horse shits . if i want see cow i go to nauruprude mom house i am right or what , or that is whale maybe not cow . and talk about whales why do peoples not pur obesity woman to zoo? it are very impressive whale mammel that dont not need water survive . if there were whale zoo i well go there 159-200 time a year i am right ?

lmfaoo i actually cracked up as soon as you said that

[IamRAMBO24]

Ok, I will kick off the show for our readers while the new comedians prepare their acts.

How are you all today? Enjoying the NBA off season I presume. How bout that Lebron, huh? Going back to Cleveland? I mean REALLY? Its called Cleveland for a reason. It where people leave. I mean what does he see in Akron anyway. The place couldn't sound more ghetto if it tried. Oh well, I hope Lebron enjoys his new adventure with his rag tag group of failed No.1 picks and over fanatical, bordering past stalkerish new/old fanbase.

What are you gonna do. Everything in life changes eventually, except ISH. This site give me the nostalgic feeling. It reminds me of my childhood. Mostly because it looks as though it hasnt been upgraded since, well ever and still looks the same as it did back when Jeff was rocking a mullet and campaigning for segregated bathrooms.

Well, I think its time to pass things over to our next guest, before I enter TL;DR territory. Without further ado, IamRAMBO!!

You're starting too soon. We need more players. I'll play if Theoo joins. For the time being ..

How did Jameer lose his virginity?

By streaking through a nursing home ....

That is so dry I'm sure many of you forgot to laugh, but more will come if more people are going to play ..

[L.Kizzle]

I'll fckin' sure your ass if this goes any further!

http://www.copyright.gov/

[9erempiree]

I'm in. I got a lot of material. I DVR Fallon every night.

[russwest0]

Sign me up :applause:

You better be as good of a host as L Kizzle though :coleman:

[SCREWstonRockets]

Ok, I will kick off the show for our readers while the new comedians prepare their acts.

How are you all today? Enjoying the NBA off season I presume. How bout that Lebron, huh? Going back to Cleveland? I mean REALLY? Its called Cleveland for a reason. It where people leave. I mean what does he see in Akron anyway. The place couldn't sound more ghetto if it tried. Oh well, I hope Lebron enjoys his new adventure with his rag tag group of failed No.1 picks and over fanatical, bordering past stalkerish new/old fanbase.

What are you gonna do. Everything in life changes eventually, except ISH. This site give me the nostalgic feeling. It reminds me of my childhood. Mostly because it looks as though it hasnt been upgraded since, well ever and still looks the same as it did back when Jeff was rocking a mullet and campaigning for segregated bathrooms.

Well, I think its time to pass things over to our next guest, before I enter TL;DR territory. Without further ado, IamRAMBO!!

http://media.247sports.com/Uploads/Assets/125/283/1283125.gif

[Real14]

http://media.247sports.com/Uploads/Assets/125/283/1283125.gif
:roll:

[sweggeh]

http://media.247sports.com/Uploads/Assets/125/283/1283125.gif

:roll: :roll: :roll:

Its just a start up nikka. To get the ball rolling :D

[Theoo]

sign my up men

[FrobeShaw]

Yeah, um, well, thats great and all, but lets just keep it to stand up, mkay? Maybe we have skits next time.
best damn joke in the thread :roll: :roll:

[KyleKong]

What's the difference between Sarah Palin's mouth and Sarah Palin's ******?

Only half the stuff that comes out Sarah Palin's ****** is retarded.

:milton

[FrobeShaw]

What's the difference between Sarah Palin's mouth and Sarah Palin's ******?

Only half the stuff that comes out Sarah Palin's ****** is retarded.

:milton

oh shit :biggums: :roll: :roll:

[KyleKong]

oh shit :biggums: :roll: :roll:
http://s3.amazonaws.com/citybuzz/2014/06/alaska-stereotypes/10-alaska-stereotypes-4.gif

[BlazerRed]

http://media.247sports.com/Uploads/Assets/125/283/1283125.gif
Omg :roll: :roll:

[BlazerRed]

What's the difference between Sarah Palin's mouth and Sarah Palin's ******?

Only half the stuff that comes out Sarah Palin's ****** is retarded.

:milton

http://4qrtrs.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/kg-2000-dunk-contest-reaction_o_GIFSoup.com_.gif