the unselfish ego (spinoff from favours thread)

[RidonKs]

maybe, but thats not what I meant.

I mean you get a high off helping people. Eg. last week i gave a homeless guy $10, gave me a pretty good feeling about my self and how appreciative he seemed.

volunteering at a food bank or other charities gives people a weird type of high, its tough to explain, but its a great feeling.

this is all so true and so straight to the point i'm really glad you said it

it is tough to explain. but literally everybody reading this knows exactly what you mean. i've done the big bills to beggers thing too. i gave a 20 to a street musician a few months ago. i haven't turned down somebody wanting to bum a smoke in years now.

now what is that high? more importantly, what are its effects?

helping people feels great. asking how it happens and why it feels great is worth exploring and interesting but not part of my larger point.

what we should primarily be concerned with, not least of all because it's easier to figure out, are the effects that result of helping one another and working cooperatively and listening to what others have to say and taking it seriously until you feel rationally comfortable dismissing them.



so i ask a different question to the throes of ISH:

in instances of great favours you've given or received, how has your relationship with the person been shaped by this interaction and why do you think that is?

[DwnShft2Xcelr8]

I have given food to homeless people before. They almost always act grateful, but this one time, some dude had a sign reading, "Anything helps! God Bless."
So I swung by In & Out, bought him a meal and gave it to him. He snatched it from my hands and began eating it immediately. I laughed and said, "Enjoy, bud."
As I'm walking away, he shouts, "Hey! Hey!" I turned around thinking he was about to say 'thanks,' but instead the piece of shit said, "How about you buy me some beer next time, dude?!"
Shit pissed me off. Killed the good feeling I had from giving him the food.

[RidonKs]

to go a bit further and explain my title, let me just say that i don't think the ego is unselfish. in fact i think the opposite.

but when people say they get a rush out of being unselfish, that rush of adrenaline or love or whatever is obviously stemming from your ego. and that's why people seem to resent their ego and try to undermine it occasionally. because it's so goddamn powerful.

the very fact that altruism and egotism needn't be utterly divorced from one another lead to some fabulous conclusions. if egotism is properly understood as the operator of our self interested actions, it only follows that our self interest must be able to extend beyond own minds and bodies and into the minds and bodies of the people we interact with. outside of the self is everyone else. and my interests in those people, those selves, can serve the purposes of my own self interest and ego just as easily as it an serve me for material gain or physical prowess or rational understanding.

your ego can be unselfish. so i again ask, what are the consequences of an unselfish ego?

i submit that one consequence we can dismiss immediately is that it will eat too far into our own self interested piece of the pie and leave us relying on the compassion and pity of others.

that's a load of bunk imo.

i have no evidence to support any of this.

[ZeN]

That high that people get when they give, is a momentary lack of guilt. There are people that are giving day after day and do it without the need to gain specific pleasure out of it or the need to commemorate it. They simply see a need and fill it. Its those of us that are too self indulgent, that take extra pleasure in that rarity that is someone smiling due to a beneficial action.

[RidonKs]

a momentarily lack of guilt eh? that's interesting what do you mean?

[ZeN]

what are the consequences of an unselfish ego?

that the consequence possibilities become unconditional. its a soul vulnerably that people spend their whole life attempting to keep covered and secured.

[RidonKs]

i still don't understand

[ZeN]

a momentarily lack of guilt eh? that's interesting what do you mean?
As singular entities we walk through life making decisions that ultimate will be self beneficial. We are so self indulgent that when we make a conscience decision to do something absolutely selfless.. it relieves the guilt of living every moment only for oneself.

[ZeN]

i still don't understand
If you live everyday in complete selfless vulnerability you open yourself to being damaged, harmed, humiliated, taken advantage of, abused, and any possible consequence. Defense mechanisms are so prevalent because the world is filled with harmful individuals.

[RidonKs]

i think momentarily relief from guilt is a far better description than momentary lapse or lack of guilt

but i see what you're saying. all very true. attitude is a powerful thing.