post your favourite articles from The Onion

[RidonKs]

i'll start with something both topical for the times and typical for the typist


U.S. Assures Hong Kong That Their Protest Just One Of Many Issues White House Staying Silent On (http://www.theonion.com/articles/us-assures-hong-kong-that-their-protest-just-one-o,37072/)

http://graphics8.nytimes.com/images/2012/09/09/world/sub-sub-sub-hongkong/sub-sub-sub-hongkong-articleLarge.jpg

[QUOTE]WASHINGTON

[RidonKs]

Chilling: Did Singer Montell Jordan Predict The Rise Of The Islamic State Back In 1995? (http://www.clickhole.com/article/chilling-did-singer-montell-jordan-predict-rise-is-1124?utm_campaign=default&utm_medium=ShareTools&utm_source=facebook)

http://i57.tinypic.com/2iwa9mt.jpg


In 1995, recording artist Montell Jordan released his debut single, “This Is How We Do It.” The song quickly rocketed to No. 1 on the Billboard charts and has gone on to become one of the most iconic pop songs of the ’90s.

At first glance, “This Is How We Do It” might seem innocent, but it turns out that there may be more to Montell Jordan’s single than meets the eye. A video has recently surfaced online that points out some eerie details about “This Is How We Do It” that you might not have noticed before.

As the video reveals, the word “ISIS,” the name of the terrorist organization currently spreading violence and destruction across the Middle East, is embedded numerous times within the lyrics of “This Is How We Do It.” As if that weren’t creepy enough, take a look at the song’s title. Notice anything familiar?

Is it possible that Montell Jordan knew back in 1995 about the rise of ISIS 19 years later? If so, is there a chance that he hid their name inside his R&B mega-hit as a warning of the chaos and brutality that were to come?

More importantly, if Montell Jordan knew about the impending rise of ISIS, then who else knew? Was anybody else in the United States government or the R&B community aware of the looming threat of the Islamic State? If so, why didn’t they take measures to prevent the rise of ISIS when they had the chance?

As a nation, we must demand answers. The American people deserve an explanation for the mysterious role of ISIS in “This Is How We Do It,” and we must hold the United States government and R&B recording artist Montell Jordan accountable.

The answer is out there somewhere, and we must uncover it.

[NBAplayoffs2001]

http://www.theonion.com/articles/breaking-lebron-james-leaning-toward-joining-alqae,36417/

epic :pimp:

[RidonKs]

http://www.theonion.com/articles/breaking-lebron-james-leaning-toward-joining-alqae,36417/

epic :pimp:
:roll:

[MadeFromDust]

http://www.theonion.com/articles/breaking-lebron-james-leaning-toward-joining-alqae,36417/

epic :pimp:
"...adding that while he has also considered offers from terrorist organizations such as Boko Haram and the Taliban, he believes heading to al-Qaeda remains his best opportunity to defeat the West in the immediate future..."

BWAAAaahaHAHAHAAA :roll:

[KevinNYC]

http://tinyurl.com/m8jea2f

[ThePhantomCreep]

Form January 17, 2001:

Bush: 'Our Long National Nightmare Of Peace And Prosperity Is Finally Over'

http://www.theonion.com/articles/bush-our-long-national-nightmare-of-peace-and-pros,464/

"You better believe we're going to mix it up with somebody at some point during my administration," said Bush, who plans a 250 percent boost in military spending. "Unlike my predecessor, I am fully committed to putting soldiers in battle situations. Otherwise, what is the point of even having a military?"

On the economic side, Bush vowed to bring back economic stagnation by implementing substantial tax cuts, which would lead to a recession, which would necessitate a tax hike, which would lead to a drop in consumer spending, which would lead to layoffs, which would deepen the recession even further.


Strong prediction skills by The Onion. Almost eerie.

[oarabbus]

Man Not Himself Until He Has So Much Coffee He Feels Like He’s Going To Die

http://www.theonion.com/articles/man-not-himself-until-he-has-so-much-coffee-he-fee,36933/


Black Guy Asks Nation For Change

http://www.theonion.com/articles/black-guy-asks-nation-for-change,2409/


Special Olympics T-Ball Stand Pitches Perfect Game

[qrich]

Not the onion but:

Justin Bieber to Play Little Orphan Annie on Broadway (http://empirenews.net/justin-bieber-to-play-little-orphan-annie-on-broadway/)

Suge Shot At Party, Witnesses Say Shooter Resembled Tupac (http://empirenews.net/suge-knight-shot-at-party-witnesses-say-assailant-resembled-tupac-shakur/)

HASBRO to sue ISIS for Copyright Infringement (http://empirenews.net/hasbro-threatens-isis-with-lawsuit-claims-copyright-infringement/)

http://empirenews.net/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/HASBRO-Threatens-ISIS-With-Lawsuit-Claims-Copyright-Infringement3-300x181.jpg