sweggeh
12-18-2014, 05:50 PM
I was left under a bridge at birth, and proceeded to be raised by an alcoholic tramp who put me to work begging to make him money. He eventually got kidnapped and killed by mobsters who wanted to have his organs harvested for sale on the black market.
The lead mobster took mercy upon me and put me to work as his errand boy. I saw many shocking and disturbing things during my time as part of the mob familia. I discovered soon after being enlisted that the mob boss was indeed homosexual. I didn't mind, but it made for some awkward moments for sure As I grew into a teen, I was made to entertain his boyfriends by taking them to the opera or taking them to dinner, while he was busy. It was a sign of courtesy, something that was taken seriously back at mob headquarters.
One day I was dining with a particular gay gentleman whose name I will not mention, and he offered me a job at the hairdressers he owned. I had become somewhat familiar with him at this point, so I decided to take the opportunity to make the extra money. It was originally a cleaning job, but he took me under his wing and I began learning to cut hair. I was giving the sexiest haircuts in town and became somewhat popular among the gay community in my town. It was during my time at the salon that I was accidentally fed a burrito containing dangerously high levels of crack cocaine and ecstasy in a somewhat comedic mishap. I fell into a coma, but managed to survive.
When I woke up, years had passed and everything i know was gone. The town had been taken over by predominantly West African and white skin head gangs. The salon had been trashed, and the owner had to leave town due to the increasing intolerance of gays. With regards to the mob, they had been shut down and disbanded after the police raided them following the organ harvesting scandal. The ones who hadn't escaped had either been locked up or killed. There was nothing for me.
I had nothing, and was feeling down on my luck. By sheer destiny, however, I came across a man who would change my life. I met him at a AIDS clinic a few miles outside of town. He told me he had just started a new website about basketball, and he was planning to start a basketball forum. I had no idea what a basketball forum was, since at this point I had yet to see a computer. Nevertheless, he believed in my and allowed me to accompany him on his journey away from the disgusting semen stained AIDS clinic he worked in, to his dream life. One where he could ban, and banish random losers on the internet whenever he felt. I was tasked with creating an account, and being so cool and interesting that I would draw users to the site. But one day I went too far, and he permabanned my account. Then I killed myself.
The end.
The lead mobster took mercy upon me and put me to work as his errand boy. I saw many shocking and disturbing things during my time as part of the mob familia. I discovered soon after being enlisted that the mob boss was indeed homosexual. I didn't mind, but it made for some awkward moments for sure As I grew into a teen, I was made to entertain his boyfriends by taking them to the opera or taking them to dinner, while he was busy. It was a sign of courtesy, something that was taken seriously back at mob headquarters.
One day I was dining with a particular gay gentleman whose name I will not mention, and he offered me a job at the hairdressers he owned. I had become somewhat familiar with him at this point, so I decided to take the opportunity to make the extra money. It was originally a cleaning job, but he took me under his wing and I began learning to cut hair. I was giving the sexiest haircuts in town and became somewhat popular among the gay community in my town. It was during my time at the salon that I was accidentally fed a burrito containing dangerously high levels of crack cocaine and ecstasy in a somewhat comedic mishap. I fell into a coma, but managed to survive.
When I woke up, years had passed and everything i know was gone. The town had been taken over by predominantly West African and white skin head gangs. The salon had been trashed, and the owner had to leave town due to the increasing intolerance of gays. With regards to the mob, they had been shut down and disbanded after the police raided them following the organ harvesting scandal. The ones who hadn't escaped had either been locked up or killed. There was nothing for me.
I had nothing, and was feeling down on my luck. By sheer destiny, however, I came across a man who would change my life. I met him at a AIDS clinic a few miles outside of town. He told me he had just started a new website about basketball, and he was planning to start a basketball forum. I had no idea what a basketball forum was, since at this point I had yet to see a computer. Nevertheless, he believed in my and allowed me to accompany him on his journey away from the disgusting semen stained AIDS clinic he worked in, to his dream life. One where he could ban, and banish random losers on the internet whenever he felt. I was tasked with creating an account, and being so cool and interesting that I would draw users to the site. But one day I went too far, and he permabanned my account. Then I killed myself.
The end.