Planning a wedding, need help/advice

[enayes]

So I'm getting married on August 22nd of next year. The date was just recently finalized so now I'm getting worried about costs. My fiancee and I do not have very much money and I don't want to empty my savings on a one day event. She agrees with me but still wants to have a nice wedding.

Her family doesn't have any money and I could see mine maybe shelling out $2000.

Guests: 100-130

Venue: Paying $600 to rent out a whole dining hall with cabins on a lake (my father works there so we got a deal)

Food: Not sure, most catering options seems to run at leas $20 per person so I'm trying to convince her that we can make food ourselves or something.

Any advice? We're considering a move to Hawaii after the wedding so we want to have some extra $$$ to survive there while we search for jobs. I'm looking for a cheap but nice wedding.

:(

[L.Kizzle]

Search for cheap caterers and cheap locations. DO you or her have any friends in any of these fields?

Also, congrats and um, when is the bachelor party?? Need to be there.

[Nanners]

use one of your stolen credit cards to buy groceries and cook the wedding food yourselves

[hateraid]

Do a buffet. Saves money on the food and service
Also do a cash bar to recoup some of the cash

One thing I do not suggest to cheap out on is the DJ. It could make or break the event. We went cheap and the dance floor bombed

[L.Kizzle]

Do a buffet. Saves money on the food and service
Also do a cash bar to recoup some of the cash

One thing I do not suggest to cheap out on is the DJ. It could make or break the event. We went cheap and the dance floor bombed
It's actually better to hire a band. A nice local band, for a few hundred bucks. Same price as a DJ maybe a little more, but a much better feel.

[Balla_Status]

Sounds like you can't afford it and shouldn't do it.

Buy kegs of beer. I bet your gf uses that song from little miss sunshine for the procession.

[YouGotServed]

It's actually better to hire a band. A nice local band, for a few hundred bucks. Same price as a DJ maybe a little more, but a much better feel.

lol

No legit band is going to charge a few hundred bucks.

1 grand, and that's being generous.

[~primetime~]

My wedding was around $20k and it was a ton of work, even with a wedding planner. The 2-3 weeks leading up to it were very stressful for me. It's crazy how much work is involved, it's almost like another full time job when it's nearing.

Let me give you THIS advice though... On your wedding day make sure to take your wife aside for 5-10 minutes to a place where just you and her can be alone. Tell her how much you love her and give her a make out session that she'll never forget. Leading up to my wedding I was very nervous, and stressed out, BUT on my wedding day I was having the time of my life. Weddings are awesome... It is the only time that ALL of your family and ALL of your friends will get together to celebrate YOU.

[L.Kizzle]

lol

No legit band is going to charge a few hundred bucks.

1 grand, and that's being generous.
I said a local band, not hiring Earth, Wind & Fire.

:biggums:

[Stempel, HERB]

use one of your stolen credit cards to buy groceries and cook the wedding food yourselves

:roll: He's also got money from the lottery pool rolling in.

OP, let your dad keep his 2k so he can retire. Shitbag

[L.Kizzle]

Why would you want to get married?
Aren't you married to Miss Elizabeth?

[Bless Mathews]

It's actually better to hire a band. A nice local band, for a few hundred bucks. Same price as a DJ maybe a little more, but a much better feel.

No way my niggah.

No way.

Bands can't do I like big butts justice.

If you in Seattle area, holler at me, we do weddings pro style

Bamboo beats.

[L.Kizzle]

No way my niggah.

No way.

Bands can't do I like big butts justice.

If you in Seattle area, holler at me, we do weddings pro style

Bamboo beats.
Real talk, hire a cover band and you in the door. Have a lil nigha on the side to play music when band take a break.

[~primetime~]

Did you feel dum spending 20k on a party?
It was easily one of the best days of my life... But brides family pays for the wedding

Groom pays for honeymoon

[bigkingsfan]

What a lucky gal.

[KevinNYC]

One of the best weddings I ever went to was a potluck. They set up a big tent in this park had a great view, hired a band and the food was fantastic.

[boozehound]

weddings are overrated and a total waste of money.

Do something like a bbq'ed pig, lots of food and pretty cheap. Depending on how snobby your girl is, you can have a hell of a nice wedding for relatively cheap.

All the shit that costs $ isnt really vital to you guys (and your guests) enjoying the day. No need for over the top flowers. Depending on the venue, just buy your own kegs and some wine (no liquor) and tap a friend to be in charge of it. Again, its not really about the food or the decoration or any of that shit. Its about celebrating you as a couple and the joining of your families. Something that is much more heartfelt is way more meaningful than buying a bunch of useless shit for 1 day.


Again, see if there is a bbq place (or even a friend) who will do something like a pig/goat roast for you. Keep the booze to just beer and wine (and dont use a bartender if you can get away with it, though there may be some liability). Flowers are booming in august, so hook up with a small farmer or even a person who loves to grow flowers around their house and use them for cut flowers. Naked wedding to save on the cost of a dress.

There are lots of ways to save cash and still have a great wedding, as long as the fiance is cool and down to earth and doesnt have her heart set on making an entrance riding a pony ashore from a boat or some shit.


Also, do you need that many guests?
maybe try and cut it down a little. or have a party after the reception, so its drinks and dancing for them, but no food.

[boozehound]

lol

No legit band is going to charge a few hundred bucks.

1 grand, and that's being generous.
depends where you are and what you want. Honestly, a DJ isnt really worth it unless you need someone to hype the crowd and have no other access to a PA.

You are right that a typical wedding band is probably 1k, but maybe they have a favorite local group (not some dickcheese cover band) who would be happy to play for $400. There are lots of fun ways to handle the music.


I know its pretty cheap but, depending on the DJ (and wanting little dance cues or performance shit), it may be better to just play a preset playlist.

[~primetime~]

A lot of the time it is the brides family that insists on having a big production. With relatives and friends flying in from all over they want something nice/memorable.

My wife is as down to earth as it gets and didn't want anything "big"... But her mother wanted a nice venue so we aren't going to say no.



I didn't really even want a wedding at all and viewed it as a silly procedure created by society only needed to make everyone around me happy. I was wrong about that though. Life is so short, we don't celebrate ourselves enough and everyone that YOU care about doesn't get together enough. I'm very grateful for the time effort and money that went into my wedding, it was worth every penny IMO.

[boozehound]

My wedding was around $20k and it was a ton of work, even with a wedding planner. The 2-3 weeks leading up to it were very stressful for me. It's crazy how much work is involved, it's almost like another full time job when it's nearing.

Let me give you THIS advice though... On your wedding day make sure to take your wife aside for 5-10 minutes to a place where just you and her can be alone. Tell her how much you love her and give her a make out session that she'll never forget. Leading up to my wedding I was very nervous, and stressed out, BUT on my wedding day I was having the time of my life. Weddings are awesome... It is the only time that ALL of your family and ALL of your friends will get together to celebrate YOU.
see, this is exactly what I didnt want (and didnt do). Not only was our wedding very affordable and lots of fun for everyone, there was hardly any stress at all about it. Sure, you are a little nervous about the commitment, but we had no worries about the flowers matching the tablecloth or if the caterer had brought the right sides for the main or any of that shit. Smooth sailing and lots of fun. Why add unnecessary stress to a time that should be celebratory?

But, I am glad PT had a nice wedding and enjoyed himself. Any idea on the breakdown of costs? how much for the hall, food, etc?

[~primetime~]

I didn't want it either booze, and it being what it was did cause me more nerves and stress going into it. On the actual day that stress vanished though.


I think the venue was $15k... Top floor of a building in Dallas that is a private club/restaurant.

Everything else was probably around $5k

We had a buffet of prime rib and potatoe bar, salad bar, etc... Lots of flowers, nice invitations, wedding planner, photographer, DJ, etc



There are some things I forgot though... My wife dress was in the thousands (THAT is a waste of money IMO)... The rehearsal dinner was probably like $2k itself, we rented out a room in a nice restaurant.



Here is the thing though, with all my friends and relatives together with all of hers it really does turn into something so special that you just have to put money in the back of your mind and not give a fck about it. I mean who cares, it's just a great day.

[boozehound]

I didn't want it either booze, and it being what it was did cause me more nerves and stress going into it. On the actual day that stress vanished though.


I think the venue was $15k... Top floor of a building in Dallas that is a private club/restaurant.

Everything else was probably around $5k

We had a buffet of prime rib and potatoe bar, salad bar, etc... Lots of flowers, nice invitations, wedding planner, photographer, DJ, etc



There are some things I forgot though... My wife dress was in the thousands (THAT is a waste of money IMO)... The rehearsal dinner was probably like $2k itself, we rented out a room in a nice restaurant.



Here is the thing though, with all my friends and relatives together with all of hers it really does turn into something so special that you just have to put money in the back of your mind and not give a fck about it. I mean who cares, it's just a great day.
sounds nice. I do think its important that you focus on a memorable day that celebrates and reflects you and your fiance. The money should be mostly secondary (if you have it). However, I have seen friends go into massive debt (around 20 k in credit cards) to fund a lavish wedding that they couldnt afford (Obv. bride's family didnt pay for it either). That is really really dumb.

I agree that the dress is a total waste as well. You will never re-wear it. My wife actually got a local seamstress to make her a very pretty (but non-weddingy) dress out of some beatiful fabric. She looked lovely and she has worn the dress on several occasions since the wedding.

[~primetime~]

My wife's family paid for everything, if it had been on me I probably would have tried to squeeze everything in at $10k or so.

I wanted my wife to rent a dress but her mother insisted on buying one. It's just sitting hanging in a closet right now, in a bag... Never to be worth again.... smh

Ring is a waste of money too


THOSE two things are where the 'waste' is IMO... Dresses and rings. The party itself is meaningful enough to be worth the spending though IMO.

[glidedrxlr22]

My wedding was probably under $12,000.....no wedding planner. Just my wife and I planning everything. Yes it sucked cause I hate planning these type of things, but at least we weren't crippled financially. If you can find a reasonably priced location and save on food then you should be fine.

[GimmeThat]

There comes a day, where every man must feel gulity for every single second spent sitting at a/the table.

[navy]

So I'm getting married on August 22nd of next year. The date was just recently finalized so now I'm getting worried about costs. My fiancee and I do not have very much money and I don't want to empty my savings on a one day event. She agrees with me but still wants to have a nice wedding.

Her family doesn't have any money and I could see mine maybe shelling out $2000.

Guests: 100-130

Venue: Paying $600 to rent out a whole dining hall with cabins on a lake (my father works there so we got a deal)

Food: Not sure, most catering options seems to run at leas $20 per person so I'm trying to convince her that we can make food ourselves or something.

Any advice? We're considering a move to Hawaii after the wedding so we want to have some extra $$$ to survive there while we search for jobs. I'm looking for a cheap but nice wedding.

:(

Food can be had cheaply if dont try to be extra fancy with it. You should probably avoid full meals and just have a large reception afterwards. Feeling really cheap, ask guest chip in and bring a bottle or something.

[~primetime~]

But did you feel uncomfortable like "damn this is a lot of money for a party"

Not that you can't afford it (even though you didn't pay)

I'd just feel like a dick
The weeks leading up to the wedding, yes I did. I thought it was a waste and I wanted to do something more low key.

Now that it is over I do not have that view anymore, I feel like it was worth the money spent. Everyone has a great time and it will never happen again, I mean it will probably never happen again lol.

[ArbitraryWater]

My wife's family paid for everything, if it had been on me I probably would have tried to squeeze everything in at $10k or so.

I wanted my wife to rent a dress but her mother insisted on buying one. It's just sitting hanging in a closet right now, in a bag... Never to be worth again.... smh

Ring is a waste of money too


THOSE two things are where the 'waste' is IMO... Dresses and rings. The party itself is meaningful enough to be worth the spending though IMO.


Agree with everything you say really, but the ring is pretty essential IMO... symbolic, and something you will always have, can always wear, and remind yourself of good times.. Wouldn't mind paying much on it.

[~primetime~]

I think diamonds in general are a waste of money, to the untrained eye it's really very hard to tell them from a CZ. And the resale value is around 50%, unlike gold or silver, diamond don't hold their value.

My wifes ring was $12k... Like 1.5 carat with good cut and color... It's literally just a rock.



I read on CNN a few months ago that it is now trendy for couples to get a colored gem other than a diamond. Ruby, sapphire, etc, etc... They are cheaper and the bride can be 'different'.

[ElPigto]

I think diamonds in general are a waste of money, to the untrained eye it's really very hard to tell them from a CZ. And the resale value is around 50%, unlike gold or silver, diamond don't hold their value.

My wifes ring was $12k... Like 1.5 carat with good cut and color... It's literally just a rock.



I read on CNN a few months ago that it is now trendy for couples to get a colored gem other than a diamond. Ruby, sapphire, etc, etc... They are cheaper and the bride can be 'different'.

Sadly most women don't buy this shit. I went to an independent jeweler and I was able to at least save some money that way. **** all those huge stores that sale the even shittier stones for even greater prices.

[~primetime~]

Sadly most women don't buy this shit. I went to an independent jeweler and I was able to at least save some money that way. **** all those huge stores that sale the even shittier stones for even greater prices.
Tiffanies is the worst offender. They charge like twice the price of a diamond wholesaler just because they were so good at branding that light blue box, and the Tiffanies name, which some women drool over, not understanding that there is literally no difference in quality.

[ElPigto]

Tiffanies is the worst offender. They charge like twice the price of a diamond wholesaler just because they were so good at branding that light blue box, and the Tiffanies name, which some women drool over, not understanding that there is literally no difference in quality.

I feel sorry for the sucker that goes pays the price for that shit. I went to Tiffany's just for kicks and the best they could do for my price range was some shitty .5 karat diamond for almost $6000k. A single ****ing diamond. Lol.

Then you go to Zales, Kay's, Gordon's etc and all their stones are I or H colored, with good to very good cuts, with I or SI clarity's for some crazy prices. I hate it. I feel is a rip off. I still bought my girl a 3 stone diamond ring, but I still hate the whole dumb idea behind it. I asked her if we could do some different type of stone that's just as nice, but girls have this diamond shit ingrained in their head since they were kids. I didn't like having to spend that much, but at least I was able to cut my costs by going to a local jeweler.

[enayes]

I got a good deal on my ring too, spent around $1800 on .5 carat marquise cut with two sapphires on the side, bought it off bluenile . com. They have a huge selection of diamonds, usually 30% cheaper than most stores.

[enayes]

Here is the ring: .5 carat marquise

http://i60.tinypic.com/2ykgea0.jpg

[JEFFERSON MONEY]

There comes a day, where every man must feel gulity for every single second spent sitting at a/the table.

Tweet this now, brother.

Great aphorism right here in the making.

And yes the guilt has hit hard.

[Dresta]

Weddings sound like a pain in the ass and a frivolous waste of money. Just elope.

[AintNoSunshine]

Just reduce the size of your guest list...

You are trying to spend $15 per guest what do you expect?

[gigantes]

i don't even wanna THINK about how much this costs...


http://img.izismile.com/img/img8/20160126/640/morning_picdump_884_640_high_48.jpg
[i]Sevan Bi

[NBAplayoffs2001]

Do a buffet. Saves money on the food and service
Also do a cash bar to recoup some of the cash

One thing I do not suggest to cheap out on is the DJ. It could make or break the event. We went cheap and the dance floor bombed

Pretty much this but as LKizzle said, I would recommend a local band if that's your thing.

I agree with DJs, the better ones tend to be above average price but do a great job (I've seen weddings where the DJs do an absolutely horrible job with music selection, it kills the festive mood for those who want to dance etc).

Moving to Hawaii can be really expensive OP. Make sure you look into it. I remember reading some article last year about how people sometimes feel Hawaii would be a good move but they found out how different it is from mainland America and how expensive food and supplies are. The traffic is horrendous in Honolulu. I do know someone who lived there for a few years and they said the nature walks are amazing, jumping off of "safe" cliffs isn't uncommon, and the parties go through the night. But they also said, it's expensive to really relocate there. I'm not entirely sure how the job market is there too.

[enayes]

My wife and I ended up moving to Lewiston, Maine.

Lewiston is kind of a shit-hole though with nothing to do so we are planning a move down to Portland, Maine in the next month or so.

:cheers:

[outbreak]

Gotta keep moving when you a a known thief?

[gigantes]

Gotta keep moving when you a a known thief?
did he piss in your beer or something? :O

[outbreak]

did he piss in your beer or something? :O
nah man he had a thread about how his first thoughts when he sees a purse is to steal it and about how he steals peoples mail/uses stolen credit cards but none of it is really stealing according to him. If you are gonna steal shit at least admit what you are doing and own up to it to yourself.

[poido123]

Weddings should only ever happen once. Our plan for the entire wedding will be about 20,000?

We are going to have it in Las Vegas, they do some pretty spectacular packages over there was quite impressed, particularly the one with the water fountain and in sync with a song.



I also spent quite a bit on the ring. There's something in buying quality and doing things properly. I/m just not someone to go cheap on special occasions, but that's just me.

[gigantes]

nah man he had a thread about how his first thoughts when he sees a purse is to steal it and about how he steals peoples mail/uses stolen credit cards but none of it is really stealing according to him. If you are gonna steal shit at least admit what you are doing and own up to it to yourself.
okay well, if i ever share a dark secret on ISH, can i rely on you to follow me around, trying to shame me? :P

maybe i'll make a supermagnet and use it to cheat at pinball! :banana:

[outbreak]

okay well, if i ever share a dark secret on ISH, can i rely on you to follow me around, trying to shame me? :P

maybe i'll make a supermagnet and use it to cheat at pinball! :banana:
wasn't a secret, he bragged about it like it makes him cool which is the part I don't like. That and the fact he wouldn't admit what he was doing was wrong. Also found it amusing someone who talked about stealing shit has been moving cities a lot. Hardly "following" him around either this was at the top of OTC when I posted in it.

[gigantes]

hang on... maybe i'll go with this one. i've always had a thing for ancient egypt.

i'll just BS her that it's a valuable prop from "the mummy." :D


http://i.imgur.com/bRDvFBy.jpg

[enayes]

wasn't a secret, he bragged about it like it makes him cool which is the part I don't like. That and the fact he wouldn't admit what he was doing was wrong. Also found it amusing someone who talked about stealing shit has been moving cities a lot. Hardly "following" him around either this was at the top of OTC when I posted in it.

I don't brag.

I admit that some of the things I've done are wrong but I wouldn't change the fact that I did them.

And to make things somewhat clear, most/all of the events I've shared on ISH happened when I was between the age of 15-18, with a few events in my college years of 18-22. I'm about to be 26 and haven't "stolen" in a long time.

[gigantes]

15 to 18, eh?

i think i have the solution-- we merely need to burn every teenager at the stake!

[Mike Armstrong]

My wife and I ended up moving to Lewiston, Maine.

Lewiston is kind of a shit-hole though with nothing to do so we are planning a move down to Portland, Maine in the next month or so.

:cheers:
How was the wedding?

[enayes]

How was the wedding?

Overall it was great. Our DJ kinda sucked and sort of messed up some of our first dance songs. He was using his phone as a hotspot to have internet access and it was being spotty, he didn't have all the songs downloaded and ready.

That's what you get for under $500

[highwhey]

Weddings should only ever happen once. Our plan for the entire wedding will be about 20,000?

We are going to have it in Las Vegas, they do some pretty spectacular packages over there was quite impressed, particularly the one with the water fountain and in sync with a song.



I also spent quite a bit on the ring. There's something in buying quality and doing things properly. I/m just not someone to go cheap on special occasions, but that's just me.
Don't get married poido

[poido123]

Don't get married poido



Why?

[gigantes]

Why?
because highwhey wants you for himself...?! :D

[highwhey]

because highwhey wants you for himself...?! :D
:coleman:

[poido123]

:coleman:


Why are you confessing your love to me now, with so little time before I get married/


I thought you prefer to have multiple wives as your arrangement?

[gigantes]

:coleman:
haha, sorry dude... here you go:

http://www.socialworkdegreecenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/7.-Gary-Coleman.jpg

[highwhey]

Why are you confessing your love to me now, with so little time before I get married/


I thought you prefer to have multiple wives as your arrangement?
If I were to wed, I'd do it with one woman - and I already know who she is.

You compared you fiance to that crazy doctor who was hitting the uber driver. If this is true, you should not be marrying an individual that is so petty. Marriage should be seen as a lifetime deal, pick your partner wisely.

[gigantes]

F-CK, F-CK, F-CK...

i screwed up. this is my fault...

we're going to get bombarded by shitty SUV's now!!

[highwhey]

F-CK, F-CK, F-CK...

i screwed up. this is my fault...

we're going to get bombarded by shitty SUV's now!!
Lol no worries

[Lebron23]

Congrats to your wedding. I hope you guys aren't getting a divorce.