Would you fight a gorilla using a cricket bat or a polar bear using a taser?

[deja vu]

I need your answers.

[CeltsGarlic]

both with a bat and a taser.

Dead Rising logic

[Balla_Status]

Does the taser have that little spring thing on it?

If so then the taser.

[deja vu]

I think that the gorilla is more intelligent but the polar bear is stronger.

If I were to choose I'd fight the gorilla with the cricket bat with the slim hope that he won't fight back. :lol

[Pushxx]

Polar bears are more dangerous and aggressive to humans than gorillas. Gorillas are herbivores. Wild gorillas generally only bluff charge at humans. A polar bear will want to eat you.

I would much rather fight a gorilla, since if you show submission, you could probably find an angle to attack, whereas the polar bear is just going to ****ing charge you and destroy you at its first opportunity.

I guess one factor would be the terrain. If it's an open battlefield with nothing climbable, the gorilla is even an easier choice.

[GreggPopazit]

Bear with a taser, assuming it has juice to sustain for a bit. A bat would not phase the gorilla, and he would beat you to death with his arms or potentially with the bat itself. The taser sends electricity through the bear locking up its muscles making it so it can't fight in that moment. Gouge out its eyes while it is incapacitated and go from there.

[Pushxx]

Bear with a taser, assuming it has juice to sustain for a bit. A bat would not phase the gorilla, and he would beat you to death with his arms or potentially with the bat itself. The taser sends electricity through the bear locking up its muscles making it so it can't fight in that moment. Gouge out its eyes while it is incapacitated and go from there.

I dunno man. I don't see a taser working on a bear. How are the darts even gonna get through the fur to the flesh?

You are pretty screwed against the bear.

[GreggPopazit]

I dunno man. I don't see a taser working on a bear. How are the darts even gonna get through the fur to the flesh?

You are pretty screwed against the bear.

A chance I'm willing to take, because a bat has a 0% chance against a gorilla.

[Velocirap31]

A chance I'm willing to take, because a bat has a 0% chance against a gorilla.

I agree. At least the polar bear would go for the kill. A gorilla is going to toy with you, maybe rip an arm off, torture kill. Either way, you lose. You might as well be hitting it with a pool noodle.

[Swaggin916]

I'd feel much better about my chances against an angry Gorilla than a Polar Bear... but I feel like if I hit a Polar Bear with a taser it would be like holy crap what the hell just happened and maybe run away.

[~primetime~]

Gorilla would shove that bat right up your ass, so that's out. Hope that taser is strong.

[JEFFERSON MONEY]

I'd rather break the cricket bat into itty bitty splinters, and then taze Patrick Chewing's body to lure out the gorilla (which he will out of curiosity). Then perform the hail mary and stab that splintery stuff right into gorillas upper cervical vertebrae.

[bdreason]

Which one is slower? Because I'm running from both.

[ThePhantomCreep]

I'm taking my chances with the taser--gorillas snap banana trees like they're toothpicks. He'd laugh at your baseball bat, rape you and then kill you.

[Velocirap31]

Which one is slower? Because I'm running from both.

Gorilla is 20-25 mph and polar bear is high teens to low 20's. The polar bear needs to conserve energy more, so it might be a wise choice to choose to run from.

[Velocirap31]

There was a thread for a silverback gorilla vs. Lebron and Ben Wallace with weapons that was pretty funny back in the day.

[JEFFERSON MONEY]

Gorilla is 20-25 mph and polar bear is high teens to low 20's. The polar bear needs to conserve energy more, so it might be a wise choice to choose to run from.

Polar bear wakes up in the morning thinkin' Imma have to catch some fresh meat or else I'll be dead in boutta week. Verdict: Hunter

Gorilla realizes ehh, I got a jungle of leaves to chew and all I got to do is chase this motherfukker off. Verdict: Protector

Different instinct.

Motivation for the former to eradicate the human as opposed to the latter: Substantial.

[Velocirap31]

Polar bear wakes up in the morning thinkin' Imma have to catch some fresh meat or else I'll be dead in boutta week. Verdict: Hunter

Gorilla realizes ehh, I got a jungle of leaves to chew and all I got to do is chase this motherfukker off. Verdict: Protector

Different instinct.

Motivation for the former to eradicate the human as opposed to the latter: Substantial.

So we're talking about a hungry and desperate polar bear and a disinterested gorilla.

[ThePhantomCreep]

Polar bear wakes up in the morning thinkin' Imma have to catch some fresh meat or else I'll be dead in boutta week. Verdict: Hunter

Gorilla realizes ehh, I got a jungle of leaves to chew and all I got to do is chase this motherfukker off. Verdict: Protector

Different instinct.

Motivation for the former to eradicate the human as opposed to the latter: Substantial.

Obviously we need to motivate the gorilla, which is why I propose we have you stand between him and and his infant.

[NumberSix]

Insert "polar bears are white, gorillas are black" joke.

[Kblaze8855]

I wouldnt be terribly afraid of fighting a human with a bat....but id be shook of a gorilla.

Id go with the taser on the bear. I suspect it would run off. Bears arent as aggressive as people think. If it isnt a mother with a cub...a tasing might be all you need.

[GreggPopazit]

There was a thread for a silverback gorilla vs. Lebron and Ben Wallace with weapons that was pretty funny back in the day.

That sounds awesome. I'd love to find it some time.

[Horde of Temujin]

I think that the gorilla is more intelligent but the polar bear is stronger.

If I were to choose I'd fight the gorilla with the cricket bat with the slim hope that he won't fight back. :lol

Gorilla would rip the polar bear to pieces

I'd fight the polar bear with the taser

[SugarHill]

I can't be the only person who thought the gorilla had the bat and the bear had the taser.

[Joyner82reload]

anyone choosing a polar bear with a taser is a flat out retard. Even if it stuns the bear, how in the fvck are you going to kill a polar bear with your bare(pun intended) hands? So you knocked him out for a few minutes with a taser, now what? You gonna punch him to death? What about when the taser runs out of battery? You're going to die no matter what.

[tpols]

anyone choosing a polar bear with a taser is a flat out retard. Even if it stuns the bear, how in the fvck are you going to kill a polar bear with your bare(pun intended) hands? So you knocked him out for a few minutes with a taser, now what? You gonna punch him to death? What about when the taser runs out of battery? You're going to die no matter what.

You.. run? Op doesn't say you have to kill or finish him off.. just that you get into an altercation with one/are real close who would you rather face with each item


I'd face the gorrilla.. taser won't work on a thing as big as a polar bear whose 10-20x bigger than a human. It would do nothing and you'd be eaten real quick. At least with the gorrilla I could throw the bat at its face as hard as I can and start sprinting the other way. It probably wouldn't risk further damage especially seeing me running away

[imdaman99]

SO this is basically asking me how I prefer to die? :oldlol:

I am 150 lbs, I ain't surviving either of them. I'm gonna stun the bear and then find a hiding place and hope he/she forgets about me. Just gimme a good head start. I want nothing to do with a bat against a gorilla.

[hateraid]

Id take both with a mace

[LJJ]

Of course if the question was would you FACE a gorilla or a polar bear, I would choose gorilla every time. A polar bear wants to eat the hell out of you and a gorilla doesn't care about you.

Assuming a FIGHT though, I'll take the polar bear. A polar bear is a natural predator and if you fight hard enough and hurt the bear enough (which isn't unthinkable with a taser), a polar bear is going to decide it's better to run away and go hunting for an easier treat. They don't want to fight, they want to eat. A gorilla? A gorilla is going to take that shit personal, and no way can you put a scratch on that beast with a wooden plank, that ape finna rip you in pieces.

[tpols]

Of course if the question was would you FACE a gorilla or a polar bear, I would choose gorilla every time. A polar bear wants to eat the hell out of you and a gorilla doesn't care about you.

Assuming a FIGHT though, I'll take the polar bear. A polar bear is a natural predator and if you fight hard enough and hurt the bear enough (which isn't unthinkable with a taser), a polar bear is going to decide it's better to run away and go hunting for an easier treat. They don't want to fight, they want to eat. A gorilla? A gorilla is going to take that shit personal, and no way can you put a scratch on that beast with a wooden plank, that ape finna rip you in pieces.

A 'fight' is simply a violent struggle or confrontation...

Ops situation would seem retarded if he expected you to kill a polar bear or gorilla with a bat or taser.. youre done either way. You can't 'fight' a polar bear hard enough with a taser. I've seen videos of dude's on pcp straight up walking through taser current.. and we're talking a 1500 lb bear here.. living in a desolate environment who anytime he sees walking flesh has an instinct to tear them apart to preserve his life.

Gorillas are all show.. beating their chests trying to front superiority ..if you hit them and run they aren't chasing you like an animal that is surrounded by cold death and literally sees a living being every few days That is its only chance at survival.

[Joyner82reload]

This question is hilarious either way. A bat isn't going to do **** vs a gorilla either. It's just going to piss it the hell off it you hit it with the cricket bat, you might cause a minor injury, like a guy getting punched by a jab, but it's not going to knock it unconscious or something. Man+bat vs a gorilla might as well be this

http://i.imgur.com/QFRd3.jpg

[ButterFace]

This question is hilarious either way. A bat isn't going to do **** vs a gorilla either. It's just going to piss it the hell off it you hit it with the cricket bat, you might cause a minor injury, like a guy getting punched by a jab, but it's not going to knock it unconscious or something. Man+bat vs a gorilla might as well be this

http://i.imgur.com/QFRd3.jpg

That gorilla about to be owned.

[GreggPopazit]

What about a gorilla with a cricket bat vs a polar bear with a taser?

[sundizz]

Lol.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jmgnSfrlj88&t=592