sweggeh
03-16-2015, 06:34 PM
I have had the most embarrassing experience ever, I am so ashamed right now. I left my boyfriends house in tears. He tried to tell me it was okay and he still loved me but I said no, I can never recover from the shame of tonight.
Things started earlier today when I was at home. My boyfriend told me he was setting up a special birthday dinner for me at his house tonight so I didn't bother to make anything nice for lunch. I decided to just eat this leftover can of beans. I ate the beans with some salad and some salty tasting salad cream and immediately I felt my stomach begin to rumble. It rumbled so much it hurt to even stand. I went to relieve myself in the bathroom a few times, threw up a bit and tried to lie down. If I was any other day I would have told my man that I couldn't make it, but its my birthday and he went to so much trouble I couldn't bring myself to cancel. Anyway, it got a bit better and I thought I was okay after a few hours.
So I get to my boyfriends house tonight, and we go inside. He tells me he has a great surprise dinner and he wants to blindfold me so he can surprise me properly. He puts the blindfold over my eyes and leads me to the dinner table where we sit down. Just before he is about to take it off, the phone rings. He tells me he has to go get it, but that I shouldn't take off the blind folds until he gets back. I agree and he goes off. I can hear him talking in the other room, and suddenly the stomach pains strike again and I have to fart a few times to relieve myself of the pain. It smells so bad but I can't stop because I seriously thought I would shit myself if I didn't try to fart it out. I try to keep the noise down but a lot of the farts were beginning to be very audible. I can hear him saying his goodbyes on the phone in the other room, so I let one more big one go, and try to wave away the stink with my hand. He gets back and says "Surprise!" as he takes the blindfold off, and I see 12 of our friends and family sitting on the dinner table looking at me in disgust. FML.
Things started earlier today when I was at home. My boyfriend told me he was setting up a special birthday dinner for me at his house tonight so I didn't bother to make anything nice for lunch. I decided to just eat this leftover can of beans. I ate the beans with some salad and some salty tasting salad cream and immediately I felt my stomach begin to rumble. It rumbled so much it hurt to even stand. I went to relieve myself in the bathroom a few times, threw up a bit and tried to lie down. If I was any other day I would have told my man that I couldn't make it, but its my birthday and he went to so much trouble I couldn't bring myself to cancel. Anyway, it got a bit better and I thought I was okay after a few hours.
So I get to my boyfriends house tonight, and we go inside. He tells me he has a great surprise dinner and he wants to blindfold me so he can surprise me properly. He puts the blindfold over my eyes and leads me to the dinner table where we sit down. Just before he is about to take it off, the phone rings. He tells me he has to go get it, but that I shouldn't take off the blind folds until he gets back. I agree and he goes off. I can hear him talking in the other room, and suddenly the stomach pains strike again and I have to fart a few times to relieve myself of the pain. It smells so bad but I can't stop because I seriously thought I would shit myself if I didn't try to fart it out. I try to keep the noise down but a lot of the farts were beginning to be very audible. I can hear him saying his goodbyes on the phone in the other room, so I let one more big one go, and try to wave away the stink with my hand. He gets back and says "Surprise!" as he takes the blindfold off, and I see 12 of our friends and family sitting on the dinner table looking at me in disgust. FML.