Question for anyone on here who tried online dating

[sportsfan76]

If meet a girl from a online dating site I am not supposed to be paying for her dinner or brunch since it's a first meet correct? Once interest is confirmed and she agrees to a second date that's when I start footing the bill?

Agree or disagree?

Just dawned on me that I been treating all these woman to dinner on a first meet and greet without knowing if she wants to see me again.:facepalm

[warriorfan]

If she is good then pay the bill. If she is a dog then just use the restroom and leave after you have finished with the meal.

[L.Kizzle]

First date is usually at Applebee's or Olive Garden. You can handle that $9.99 daily special.hell, you can even go for that $13.99 seasonal meal. The choice is yours.

[sportsfan76]

If she is good then pay the bill. If she is a dog then just use the restroom and leave after you have finished with the meal.

So after I pay for the date do I then contact her the same night or 2 days later?

[L.Kizzle]

I usually cover the bill. If it doesn't work out, oh well I had a good time out. I usually just try to meet up for drinks or some sort of activity, save dinner for later down the road.
An activity ... like fornication? Or like miniature golf?

[sportsfan76]

I usually cover the bill. If it doesn't work out, oh well I had a good time out. I usually just try to meet up for drinks or some sort of activity, save dinner for later down the road.


What if you don't drink alcohol?

[sportsfan76]

I usually cover the bill. If it doesn't work out, oh well I had a good time out. I usually just try to meet up for drinks or some sort of activity, save dinner for later down the road.


So you can afford to do that 4 times in one month? lol

[sportsfan76]

Lol yes.


Well you must be BIG TIME because $25 x 4 is $100 and that starts to add up:lol

[Solidape]

If meet a girl from a online dating site I am not supposed to be paying for her dinner or brunch since it's a first meet correct? Once interest is confirmed and she agrees to a second date that's when I start footing the bill?

Agree or disagree?

Just dawned on me that I been treating all these woman to dinner on a first meet and greet without knowing if she wants to see me again.:facepalm

Married a girl I met on eharmony so tried customer speaking.......

Have your first meet at a coffee shop, by the time I got there,she already had her drink, I just went up and got mine. We met around 5:30pm.

That's what I did and after a couple of hours I noticed that things were going good, I asked her if she'd be interested in dinner since I was going to go eat anyways and she said yes, which l confirmed that things were going good.

I did pay for dinner even though she offered to split, but it was only $20. The date ended at 10:45pm when the restaurant closed.

[sportsfan76]

Married a girl I met on eharmony so tried customer speaking.......

Have your first meet at a coffee shop, by the time I got there,she already had her drink, I just went up and got mine. We met around 5:30pm.

That's what I did and after a couple of hours I noticed that things were going good, I asked her if she'd be interested in dinner since I was going to go eat anyways and she said yes, which l confirmed that things were going good.

I did pay for dinner even though she offered to split, but it was only $20. The date ended at 10:45pm when the restaurant closed.



Did you call her the same night or a few days later?

[nathanjizzle]

theres alot of beta males here. cant pay 15 dollars for a meal?:lol thats ****ing sad.

[sportsfan76]

theres alot of beta males here. cant pay 15 dollars for a meal?:lol thats ****ing sad.


Am I suppised to pay $15 for 4 women? That shit starts to add up when there is no second date

[nathanjizzle]

Am I suppised to pay $15 for 4 women? That shit starts to add up when there is no second date

if youre broke, then dont. real men arent broke though.

[Solidape]

Did you call her the same night or a few days later?

Think I texted her that night (usual good night stuff).

We met on a Friday first....talked to her the next day and went out again on Sunday for a more proper dinner at an Italian place .....I paid for it all.

Now, usually I am the type that hates talking on the phone, especially with women, but for whatever reason talking with her didn't seem like a chore.

[Solidape]

if youre broke, then dont. real men arent broke though.

Leave the homey alone, dude's probably still earning peanuts and is asking a legit question.

There are plenty of online chicks that are only looking for a free dinner, dudes right to wanting to screen them instead of losing his loot to online scums.

[Bosnian Sajo]

Well you must be BIG TIME because $25 x 4 is $100 and that starts to add up:lol


In a year that would be $1200. If that is too much then maybe having a girlfriend isn't for you :lol

[UK2K]

What if you don't drink alcohol?
It sounds like you know nothing about this girl.

Maybe read her profile?

[sportsfan76]

It sounds like you know nothing about this girl.

Maybe read her profile?


You know you make a good point I tend to get so wrapped up in looks that I never bother to read the profile. Maybe my dates would be a lot better if I read the profile

[sportsfan76]

In a year that would be $1200. If that is too much then maybe having a girlfriend isn't for you :lol


You are talking about one girl who I would be committed to, I am talking about spending money on women who I am not seeing again which starts to add up.

It's a big difference between spending money on someone who is interested in you and been intimate with versus spending money on different women who you are not seeing ever again


Just like that last weekend in May

I had a date on sat and sun and spent $60 combined and never saw either one of them again

[ShackEelOKneel]

If meet a girl from a online dating site I am not supposed to be paying for her dinner or brunch since it's a first meet correct? Once interest is confirmed and she agrees to a second date that's when I start footing the bill?

Agree or disagree?

Just dawned on me that I been treating all these woman to dinner on a first meet and greet without knowing if she wants to see me again.:facepalm

If you want a 2nd date, pay for the meal. If you don't want a 2nd date, you can choose to be nice and pay or you can choose to be a jerk and not pay but you don't have to worry about seeing her again anyway.

[sportsfan76]

If you want a 2nd date, pay for the meal. If you don't want a 2nd date, you can choose to be nice and pay or you can choose to be a jerk and not pay but you don't have to worry about seeing her again anyway.


But what If I want a second date and she doesn't?

[ShackEelOKneel]

But what If I want a second date and she doesn't?

I assume you aren't having that conversation before you pay, so it is a gamble that is worth taking. If you are asking girls out for second dates before you are done at the table, you have bigger problems.

[sportsfan76]

I assume you aren't having that conversation before you pay, so it is a gamble that is worth taking. If you are asking girls out for second dates before you are done at the table, you have bigger problems.

You act like they won't like before the check:facepalm

[ShackEelOKneel]

You act like they won't like before the check:facepalm

I have no idea what you are trying to say.

[sportsfan76]

I have no idea what you are trying to say.


You said I should ask for a 2nd date before the check comes. So how do I know she won't tell me what I want to hear just so she can get free dinner?

[ShackEelOKneel]

You said I should ask for a 2nd date before the check comes. So how do I know she won't tell me what I want to hear just so she can get free dinner?

That is the gamble. If you want a chance at a 2nd date, you take the gamble and pay for the date. If you don't want a chance at a 2nd date, then you don't have to pay.

[sportsfan76]

That is the gamble. If you want a chance at a 2nd date, you take the gamble and pay for the date. If you don't want a chance at a 2nd date, then you don't have to pay.


My issue with dating is I have taken that gamble 4 times in one month and nothing came out of it

That's why I decided not to date no more until mid july because I can't afford to keep taking gambles


BTW: dating for a woman is probably like HEAVEN. They get to have a free outing by multiple guys while deciding who they like best. Must be nice

[Hawker]

First date I always do coffee, drink or a desert unless we met while out at a bar or a friends and had good conversation as that's pretty much a first date.

First date is just going to be conversation really and vibing each other out so why not do it as cheap as possible? Plus shits expensive in the city.

Not a fan of dinner dates at all. Don't like the interruptions and harder to bail if you don't like her.

[Hawker]

My issue with dating is I have taken that gamble 4 times in one month and nothing came out of it

That's why I decided not to date no more until mid july because I can't afford to keep taking gambles


BTW: dating for a woman is probably like HEAVEN. They get to have a free outing by multiple guys while deciding who they like best. Must be nice

Stop doing dinner then. I have even gone as far as just going on a simple walk on a first date. We went on a second date. Didn't work out with her but still.

Drink or coffee or dessert (after 8 pm) or simply meeting up and going on a nice walk if you have a nearby area that allows it.

Not to say there hasn't been a circumstance where I've taken a girl to dinner on a first date but that's usually not the way I go.

[SwayDizzle]

it's all about mobile app dating these days. match, start chatting to get a feel for the person and then ask her out. with some women dinner works for the first date, with most its drinks. you'll get the feel after chatting. dont drag on the chatting for weeks on end. if you feel a connection, ask her out then and there, could be within an hour of chatting. if you don't feel a connection, don't waste your time simply because she is attractive. without connection your chances of a second date greatly diminish. going out for drinks is more casual, less intimate and less personal. you could've just bumped into each other in the cafe/bar so to say. i tend to cover the first date. usually when the bill comes, you would expect her to make some initiative in paying her half. if it was ****ing fun and i feel that we will meet again, and she insists on paying, i'll say something like 'you can get it next time'. i live in a country where both men and women are used to paying for themselves. splitting the bill is the norm. the culture may be different where you live. oh and don't try to set up the second date during the first date. you should be thinking about whether the first date was good enough to invite her back to yours ;)

[GimmeThat]

if you can get a first date so easily.
clearly you are in a good position to choose.

chances are, your success rate/efficiency is just like that of Kobe/(you can really go the AI route if you'd like)


unless you had devoted so much time via online communication.
that its reached a tipping point.

then yea,

I mean, it's online dating, you ever wonder how much of it comes down to asking the right/good question over time?

[LJJ]

If you are taking a new girl out for a dinner date every week and you never get any second dates nor any *****, you shouldn't be asking whether to start splitting the bill. Something else is going wrong.

[sportsfan76]

it's all about mobile app dating these days. match, start chatting to get a feel for the person and then ask her out. with some women dinner works for the first date, with most its drinks. you'll get the feel after chatting. dont drag on the chatting for weeks on end. if you feel a connection, ask her out then and there, could be within an hour of chatting. if you don't feel a connection, don't waste your time simply because she is attractive. without connection your chances of a second date greatly diminish. going out for drinks is more casual, less intimate and less personal. you could've just bumped into each other in the cafe/bar so to say. i tend to cover the first date. usually when the bill comes, you would expect her to make some initiative in paying her half. if it was ****ing fun and i feel that we will meet again, and she insists on paying, i'll say something like 'you can get it next time'. i live in a country where both men and women are used to paying for themselves. splitting the bill is the norm. the culture may be different where you live. oh and don't try to set up the second date during the first date. you should be thinking about whether the first date was good enough to invite her back to yours ;)


Im.not smooth enough to ask someone back to my plac for a first date

[Derka]

Met mine through OKCupid. First date was just going to be drinks, but it morphed into dinner because we were both hungry as hell (and the bar had fried pickles for an appetizer, which I simply can't say no to...plus the food was of solid repute). I ended up so smitten with her after that first date I paid the bill gladly. She ended up saying "Next date is on me" before we even parted ways that night. Still going strong with zero intention of letting her go.

[SwayDizzle]

Im.not smooth enough to ask someone back to my plac for a first date
forget about how smooth you are. it's about the chemistry you have on the date. say you meet up for drinks and you realize you both are really into each other but the place you are at is closing soon. you both want to continue chatting, you can either propose to go back to yours for a drink or head to another bar. depends what you and your date feel like. it's the type of thing you just have to feel in the moment. if it doesn't happen for whatever reason, it doesn't imply you aren't smooth. some people are just not into moving that fast and want to get to know the person better before going to their place.

I think your complaint here stems from the fact you didn't feel a connection during your 4 recent dates, or at least something was off. otherwise you would be happy with your investment (either time or money). you have to adjust your 'filter'. chat long enough before your first date to be able to find common ground. it's all about interests and being able to share stories/experiences.

[riseagainst]

i met my current gf on a mobile app called Hot or Not, it's similar to Tinder. Both of which aren't really serious "dating" apps. But i got it for fun. Who would have thought i'd meet my future wife here.

[PWB15]

Where are you meeting these girls online btw? Tinder? If so, that's the problem......


Pof and craigslist.

[PWB15]

forget about how smooth you are. it's about the chemistry you have on the date. say you meet up for drinks and you realize you both are really into each other but the place you are at is closing soon. you both want to continue chatting, you can either propose to go back to yours for a drink or head to another bar. depends what you and your date feel like. it's the type of thing you just have to feel in the moment. if it doesn't happen for whatever reason, it doesn't imply you aren't smooth. some people are just not into moving that fast and want to get to know the person better before going to their place.

I think your complaint here stems from the fact you didn't feel a connection during your 4 recent dates, or at least something was off. otherwise you would be happy with your investment (either time or money). you have to adjust your 'filter'. chat long enough before your first date to be able to find common ground. it's all about interests and being able to share stories/experiences.


I f*cked up two opportunities in May

One girl suggested we sit in her car and talk after dinner and I didn't make a move

The other asked where I lived after we left the restaurant.