Need some life advice

[B-hoop]

yeah, asking ish isn't the best idea i know, but at least i can laugh at the troll answers :lol

Anyway, I have recently moved to another state (Rio de Janeiro, Brazil) where i am living alone without any family and friends.

The reason i moved was because i received a pretty good job offer from an investment bank, the pay is pretty nice (around 4k dollars/month which in Brazil is a lot for someone recently graduated). Also i like the company and enjoy the job.

But, i ended a 5 year relationship because i moved (actually was thinking of ending it anyway, so this really isn't the big deal other than missing the comraderie of a 5 year relationship) and also the people i work with are all 30-35 years old, married, with kids, so i am having a hard time finding people to go out with (i am 24 btw).

I mean, there is always Tinder and apps like that, i have been getting *****, but these girls dont really become friends.. so i am kinda in a fix, i don't have friends to go out with me, so i don't meet new people who can become friends. Shit was so much easier when i had college or school to go to :coleman:

So, i need some advice on making friends :lol which sounds pretty stupid but its a saturday night and i am at home writing this OP so i guess i am pretty desperate

[KNOW1EDGE]

It will be tough at first but you probably gotta just hit some local bars/clubs/events and meet people in the area.

Or ask any of your old co-workers if they have a daughter your age

[FKAri]

Can you speak Portuguese?

[RidonKs]

go to the local legion or wherever the vets and oldies drink their beer. say you wandered in looking for a drink. befriend the lot of em. old people know a lot of other people, if they like you eventually you're like "so where are all the ppl my age in this town" and they'll lead you to the youth movement of this desolate rural town you decided to move to for reasons we can all understand

[B-hoop]

Yea i can speak portuguese, i am brazilian.

Problem with bars and such is that going alone sucks. I have been trying to find friends of friends but their aren't many, also its funny because i considered myself a guy who normally made friends quickly but i guess seeing people everyday makes it a lot easier to make friends.

I need like 1 guy to be the wingman :lol

[fsvr54]

Never thought of bars as a good place to meet "friends".

I'd say go play ball at the local parks, great way to meet people.

[KNOW1EDGE]

Never thought of bars as a good place to meet "friends".

I'd say go play ball at the local parks, great way to meet people.

Never thought of parks as a good place to meet "friends"

[fsvr54]

Never thought of parks as a good place to meet "friends"

Do you ball? It breeds great camradery.

[Hawker]

Yea i can speak portuguese, i am brazilian.

Problem with bars and such is that going alone sucks. I have been trying to find friends of friends but their aren't many, also its funny because i considered myself a guy who normally made friends quickly but i guess seeing people everyday makes it a lot easier to make friends.

I need like 1 guy to be the wingman :lol

I moved to Australia when I was 24 and I was worried just like you.

Do you live on your own or do you have roommates? If you live on your own, move out to a place that will give you a roommate(s) around your age. I didn't know a soul here until I moved and my roommate asked me the first night I moved in, "Want to grab a beer?" and it's just gone on from there. I made friends through him, my work (similar age group unlike you) and through other roommates. 30-35 year olds are still cool btw...make friends with them. They may know guys your age.

Also, I suggest getting involved in hobbies/activities that you enjoy doing and that you think you might enjoy doing. Join a yoga class. Go play bball (already mentioned). Go play soccer?

What kind of accent do you have? American? I also believe there are websites/apps out there specifically for making friends.

[B-hoop]

I moved to Australia when I was 24 and I was worried just like you.

Do you live on your own or do you have roommates? If you live on your own, move out to a place that will give you a roommate(s) around your age. I didn't know a soul here until I moved and my roommate asked me the first night I moved in, "Want to grab a beer?" and it's just gone on from there. I made friends through him, my work (similar age group unlike you) and through other roommates. 30-35 year olds are still cool btw...make friends with them. They may know guys your age.

Also, I suggest getting involved in hobbies/activities that you enjoy doing and that you think you might enjoy doing. Join a yoga class. Go play bball (already mentioned). Go play soccer?

What kind of accent do you have? American? I also believe there are websites/apps out there specifically for making friends.

I live on my own, thanks for the advice bro, thats actually pretty helpful, gonna search on facebook for apartments with roommates.

And yea, i am friends with people from work, but they aren't up to partying on the weekends, i grab lunch with them sometimes but its a different lifestyle :lol

And just curious, but how long before you were comfortable living in Australia after moving, like with a nice circle of friends/able to call it home? Sometimes i think i have been just too anxious about it and have just to wait for things to fall into place

[Alamо]

You're asking people on insidehoops how to make friends?


HAHAHAHA. jk lol



I have a couple of suggestions. You could try volunteering, that's always an interesting way to meet people plus you get to give back to the community. Also maybe try an app. Not like tinder but there are apps for meeting up with groups of people with similar interests. Not sure if they have those in Rio, but it's pretty cool. A lot of people use those apps to find groups of people to go sporting events, bars, clubs, movies, parks etc with. Also maybe you could try taking a yoga class or a martial arts class.


Hope that helped

[B-hoop]

You guys know the name of those apps?

[Alamо]

You guys know the name of those apps?


I know there's a lot of them out there, but the one I've heard of people using is called Meetup. That's probably the most popular one.

[Alamо]

I didn't even read Hawkers post. We pretty much said the same thing, even down to joining a yoga class :lol


I might go sign up for a yoga class

[B-hoop]

Yea lol, i never really thought of myself doing yoga, but wth, its worth a try. At the least i'll see women in yoga pants.

I tried doing that, but after i had banged the chicks. Its kinda awkward to meet their friends while at the same time telling them i don't want anything serious with them. Don't know how its in the US but when a chick presents you to her friends here it means things are getting serious..

[Hawker]

I live on my own, thanks for the advice bro, thats actually pretty helpful, gonna search on facebook for apartments with roommates.

And yea, i am friends with people from work, but they aren't up to partying on the weekends, i grab lunch with them sometimes but its a different lifestyle :lol

And just curious, but how long before you were comfortable living in Australia after moving, like with a nice circle of friends/able to call it home? Sometimes i think i have been just too anxious about it and have just to wait for things to fall into place

I would say about 6-8 months.

30-35 year olds may not party but they may enjoy activities during the day that you probably will as well...moreso than spending it hungover from the previous night. You do need to get friends your age but those older dudes are pretty cool as well.

Moving to an unknown place is tough and it's definitely challenging. Not many people can handle it as they're unable to learn how to make new friends but it usually comes down to the individual and not the country. Working style is probably a lot different as well.

Don't let this keep you down...remember there are people in America that just live there their whole lives and never get the opportunity to live abroad which is pretty shitty in my opinion. You'll have a unique experience...also it keeps you away from all the unneeded drama in America (lion killer, caitlyn jenner, transexuals, gay marriage etc.). It's been a nice break for me to be away from that.

Partying with foreigners is great but just remember to continue to develop yourself personally and physically. Having fun during the day is just as fulfilling as night.

Save your money!

[Hawker]

Yea lol, i never really thought of myself doing yoga, but wth, its worth a try. At the least i'll see women in yoga pants.

I tried doing that, but after i had banged the chicks. Its kinda awkward to meet their friends while at the same time telling them i don't want anything serious with them. Don't know how its in the US but when a chick presents you to her friends here it means things are getting serious..

Dude that's part of the experience is learning how to deal with foreign women. :cheers:

Focus on day and evening activities first...going out and partying second.

**** it dude...date a brazilian girl.

[NBAplayoffs2001]

Did you get a brazilian investment banking job out of an American undergrad. If you did, tell me how to do so lol. 50K and living it up in Rio de Janeiro sounds like such a sweet gig.

[falc39]

You play football? I imagine a ton of people in brazil play. Try to get on a local recreational team. There should be coed teams if you wanna meet ladies too. Some of my best friends are people I play with on a weekly basis.

[NBAplayoffs2001]

Never mind, didn't read the post well at first. OP, I would recommend joining a basketball or football league in Brazil. I'm sure you can meet a lot of people like that. From experiences, trying to make friends at bars or parties is very difficult. Good way to meet girls but a good way to get a possible "wingman" is make good friends with someone from a soccer/basketball league and ask them to go out one night and try to get some girls numbers, etc. The few people I met with who I eventually bar hopped with a lot in my early 20s were people I played ball with. It started off with dinners after basketball to going out and partying around the city we lived in at the time. Rio de Janeiro is known to have beautiful women across the city and it's a beach city. Going to the beach on a weekend night and talking to new people is also not a bad idea.

Sounds like you have a pretty sweet gig of a job at a bank and you are working with people who are in their 30s. I'm not sure how it is in Brazil but in America most people tend to have dinner parties at that age with coworkers in order to try to further advance their careers, etc. Make sure to try to go events they invite you to because you never know if that can help you down the line at work.

Generally, enjoy life. Live within your means and try to make new friends. Getting a new girlfriend will happen eventually but don't try to force it. It should happen eventually once you make new friends and more people.

[B-hoop]

Yea mate, thanks for the advice. :cheers:

I guess its just a question of giving it some time for things to happen naturally.

Btw, i graduated from a brazilian college and interned at the bank so that made it a lot easier to get a job, but i guess if you can get a job at any american investment bank like JP, MS or GS they will send you to Brazil if you want to, lol.

I am gonna join a soccer game that happens every monday using that meetup app Alamo talked about and try to work from there.

You guys have been really helpful, thanks :cheers:

[You Cant Ban Me]

Go to your local best buy (or the equivalent of that in your country)

Buy a slip knot album

Return home and enter your bathroom

Cut yourself while sitting in your pitch black bathroom while listening to the slipknot album (this will make you feel more alive than you've ever been)

Enjoy...


Hope this helps

[NBAplayoffs2001]

Yea mate, thanks for the advice. :cheers:

I guess its just a question of giving it some time for things to happen naturally.

Btw, i graduated from a brazilian college and interned at the bank so that made it a lot easier to get a job, but i guess if you can get a job at any american investment bank like JP, MS or GS they will send you to Brazil if you want to, lol.

I am gonna join a soccer game that happens every monday using that meetup app Alamo talked about and try to work from there.

You guys have been really helpful, thanks :cheers:

That's a start! Good luck.