View Full Version : I feel like I don't know a single person who really understands me.
Internet, Ish, I want to write this here because, well, I have nobody else to tell it to.
I feel like I don't know a single person who understands me.
The first problem is I find most people far too negative. So many people always point out the BAD. "Wow, that guy was so stupid." "I can't stand this place."
There is such a lack of positive people in my life. It is very draining for me to hear so much negativity all of the time.
The next problem is a lack of people who are enthusiastic about new ideas. I feel like everyone I know is such a downer. I come to my friends or family excited about a story I'm writing, or having an idea for something creative for us to do together- or a cool place we can go to break away from our normal routines. And all I seem to get back is reasons why it isn't a good idea, why we shouldn't go to these places, etc.
I think back to old relationships I had, with the rare people who shared that enthusiasm. People who were willing to try things, or seemed more supportive of my ideas. I'm not saying all of my ideas are good, but it doesn't feel like they're given a chance. I go into these conversations enthusiastic and come out deflated. Half the time people don't even listen and then they go into their own story about how dumb some guy was they saw at the store.
It seems so many other people are arrogant, egotistical, and they are always just worried about how they appear and trying to seem smarter than they are. In truth I am a fairly intelligent person but I never try to act better than people. I'm a very emotionally sensitive person and I am always looking out for the emotions of others. But I don't see anyone else doing the same for me. And yes, I choose to do that for others. I don't have to- and nobody else is obligated to do it for me. But I want to because those are the kinds of relationships I want to have. It's just frustrating to so rarely feel that coming from others.
Even my brother, who is almost my identical twin in many ways, is feeling more distant. I share with him my deepest emotions, my fears, my loves, my regrets, my dreams, and he responds with "ya.. totally.. uh huh.. definitely." I need people to talk about these things with. I don't want to be trapped in careless relationships where all we talk about are movies or videogames or mindless stuff constantly all day every day. Those things are on my mind 2% of the time.
Anyway, it is very easy to read this and think negatively of me, probably. To be clear, I have a lot of family and friends who I spend plenty of time with. They just aren't at all fulfilling relationships. They are so shallow and for the most part, they are not at all what I want in life. I feel like life is so much emptier without people to share it with... who really share your vision and are on the same wavelength as you.
TL;DR- I feel like most of my relationships are too shallow, and with people who are too negative and lack enthusiasm and emotional compassion. I feel like I am missing so much in life without having deeper and better relationships, and I have no idea where to find them..
Thank you for listening, internet.
ROCSteady
01-30-2016, 09:55 PM
We understand you, Bro Montana
macmac
01-30-2016, 09:57 PM
I think this isn't a problem, it's a good thing. You should be happy that your enthusiasm and creativity hasn't been stifled and that you want to explore and share it. What you need is an outlet, whether it's people you can identify with or a project you can do, such as the writing you referred to. Don't let the fact people around you don't get you, affect your positivity. Instead, use it as motivation to complete your projects and a push to seek out likeminded people. You just need to be proactive in the way you look for new relationships.
I Call my friends and family at least once a week to tell them about new potential business ideas i have. Because I've had some success so far, they actually do pay attention to them and enjoy my zaniness and give me the feedback and advice that I'm looking for.
I've also looked for friends that do cool things like hiking, playing Spikeball which is a cool new game our group has started playing, joining bball rec leagues, playing settlers of Catan once a week, a movie club, going on meditation, skiing and surf vacations, etc Instead of going clubbing every weekend like the rest of the mindless population
Reality is as you see it. You can alter your perspective if its your prerogative.
Quit being a ***** and take hold of your direction and stop thinking that other people decide how you feel. You dont like the people aroung you? Then go make other types of friends. You have a f*cking choice, stop acting like your life options are restricted.
Nick Young
01-30-2016, 10:45 PM
Internet, Ish, I want to write this here because, well, I have nobody else to tell it to.
I feel like I don't know a single person who understands me.
The first problem is I find most people far too negative. So many people always point out the BAD. "Wow, that guy was so stupid." "I can't stand this place."
There is such a lack of positive people in my life. It is very draining for me to hear so much negativity all of the time.
The next problem is a lack of people who are enthusiastic about new ideas. I feel like everyone I know is such a downer. I come to my friends or family excited about a story I'm writing, or having an idea for something creative for us to do together- or a cool place we can go to break away from our normal routines. And all I seem to get back is reasons why it isn't a good idea, why we shouldn't go to these places, etc.
I think back to old relationships I had, with the rare people who shared that enthusiasm. People who were willing to try things, or seemed more supportive of my ideas. I'm not saying all of my ideas are good, but it doesn't feel like they're given a chance. I go into these conversations enthusiastic and come out deflated. Half the time people don't even listen and then they go into their own story about how dumb some guy was they saw at the store.
It seems so many other people are arrogant, egotistical, and they are always just worried about how they appear and trying to seem smarter than they are. In truth I am a fairly intelligent person but I never try to act better than people. I'm a very emotionally sensitive person and I am always looking out for the emotions of others. But I don't see anyone else doing the same for me. And yes, I choose to do that for others. I don't have to- and nobody else is obligated to do it for me. But I want to because those are the kinds of relationships I want to have. It's just frustrating to so rarely feel that coming from others.
Even my brother, who is almost my identical twin in many ways, is feeling more distant. I share with him my deepest emotions, my fears, my loves, my regrets, my dreams, and he responds with "ya.. totally.. uh huh.. definitely." I need people to talk about these things with. I don't want to be trapped in careless relationships where all we talk about are movies or videogames or mindless stuff constantly all day every day. Those things are on my mind 2% of the time.
Anyway, it is very easy to read this and think negatively of me, probably. To be clear, I have a lot of family and friends who I spend plenty of time with. They just aren't at all fulfilling relationships. They are so shallow and for the most part, they are not at all what I want in life. I feel like life is so much emptier without people to share it with... who really share your vision and are on the same wavelength as you.
TL;DR- I feel like most of my relationships are too shallow, and with people who are too negative and lack enthusiasm and emotional compassion. I feel like I am missing so much in life without having deeper and better relationships, and I have no idea where to find them..
Thank you for listening, internet.
Bro don't let negative people hold you back. Write your stories and do your ideas and go to the places you want to and you will meet positive people who are in to your ideas.
Your family and "friends" are negative people. We are who we hang out with. Stop hanging out with people who are emotional drains. it will be hard at first but you will meet new people.
They tell you your story ideas are stupid because they don't want you to succeed. They want you to stay depressed and down like they are. Do not let these kinds of people hold you back, even if it's your family.
Long Duck Dong
01-30-2016, 10:46 PM
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag
Drifting through the wind.....
ihatetimthomas
01-30-2016, 10:50 PM
Reality is as you see it. You can alter your perspective if its your prerogative.
Quit being a ***** and take hold of your direction and stop thinking that other people decide how you feel. You dont like the people aroung you? Then go make other types of friends. You have a f*cking choice, stop acting like your life options are restricted.
I agree here. You have a choice. You can let the people around you affect you negatively or be proactive and make choices that offer more fulfillment. When you let those factors affect you then you get stuck.
I would focus on moving forward and making new relationships that offer fulfillment over dwelling on the negatives relationships you have and their negative traits. Easier said than down but nothing good comes from dwelling on the uncontrollable. You can't make people around you act the way you want. All you can do is focus on yourself and making life better for YOU.
nathanjizzle
01-30-2016, 11:08 PM
Internet, Ish, I want to write this here because, well, I have nobody else to tell it to.
I feel like I don't know a single person who understands me.
The first problem is I find most people far too negative. So many people always point out the BAD. "Wow, that guy was so stupid." "I can't stand this place."
There is such a lack of positive people in my life. It is very draining for me to hear so much negativity all of the time.
how ironic. i didnt have a problem with negativity till i opened this thread.
how ironic. i didnt have a problem with negativity till i opened this thread.
My apologies for dumping my own negativity on you, Mr. Jizzle :(
....:D
Reality is as you see it. You can alter your perspective if its your prerogative.
Quit being a ***** and take hold of your direction and stop thinking that other people decide how you feel. You dont like the people aroung you? Then go make other types of friends. You have a f*cking choice, stop acting like your life options are restricted.
I agree with your general points. You are correct in a very enlightened way. Taking control of my destiny, realizing that I have control over my life. These are all ideas that I have been thinking about lately, so it's especially relevant to me at this moment. And I think they are very important things for all of us to keep in mind.
The way you express your opinions, I do not like. Statements like "stop being a *****" especially. It just feeds into the macho-mentality that so many people have. I would venture to say that most people never make a serious effort to change their perspective, or attempt to reconstruct the entire foundation of their personality and belief system. I know I have. I'm not asking for a cookie (I eat paleo), but if you have such an easy time reformatting your life, you shouldn't take that for granted. For me it is a process.
And I just hate when people say things like "stop being a *****." I was playing some backyard football the other day and my 10 year old cousin said he was insanely sore. Then he says, "but I just need to man up and keep playing." That mentality is put into people at such a young age. The idea that being a man means to "stop being a ***** and just take charge of your life." Maybe that works for you, but it's not how everyone operates.
I agree here. You have a choice. You can let the people around you affect you negatively or be proactive and make choices that offer more fulfillment. When you let those factors affect you then you get stuck.
I would focus on moving forward and making new relationships that offer fulfillment over dwelling on the negatives relationships you have and their negative traits. Easier said than down but nothing good comes from dwelling on the uncontrollable. You can't make people around you act the way you want. All you can do is focus on yourself and making life better for YOU.
Thank you. For my part I have been exercising, taking walks, writing a bunch, drawing, coaching youth basketball, and doing other things that I'm secretly really proud of. I have also made an effort to meet some new people and spend time with "sort of friends" who I always thought clicked really well with me. I know you are right- the best thing is to focus on what I can control. I want to say I am (humbly) proud and happy that I have been able to do some of those things. I just wanted to vent that, as I go through this process, I look around and feel alone much of the time. I am happy to say that it hasn't discouraged me in my pursuit of building a life I want.
I agree here. You have a choice. You can let the people around you affect you negatively or be proactive and make choices that offer more fulfillment. When you let those factors affect you then you get stuck.
I would focus on moving forward and making new relationships that offer fulfillment over dwelling on the negatives relationships you have and their negative traits. Easier said than down but nothing good comes from dwelling on the uncontrollable. You can't make people around you act the way you want. All you can do is focus on yourself and making life better for YOU.
I applause this.. Better said..lol
I agree with your general points. You are correct in a very enlightened way. Taking control of my destiny, realizing that I have control over my life. These are all ideas that I have been thinking about lately, so it's especially relevant to me at this moment. And I think they are very important things for all of us to keep in mind.
The way you express your opinions, I do not like. Statements like "stop being a *****" especially. It just feeds into the macho-mentality that so many people have. I would venture to say that most people never make a serious effort to change their perspective, or attempt to reconstruct the entire foundation of their personality and belief system. I know I have. I'm not asking for a cookie (I eat paleo), but if you have such an easy time reformatting your life, you shouldn't take that for granted. For me it is a process.
And I just hate when people say things like "stop being a *****." I was playing some backyard football the other day and my 10 year old cousin said he was insanely sore. Then he says, "but I just need to man up and keep playing." That mentality is put into people at such a young age. The idea that being a man means to "stop being a ***** and just take charge of your life." Maybe that works for you, but it's not how everyone operates.
That's my point... You worry too much about other people's point of view or judgments. You need to focus rather on your own path as opposed to being manipulated by other people's influence.
stalkerforlife
01-30-2016, 11:50 PM
People generally only care about themselves.
Unless you have beauty or money...then they'll pretend they care about you.
People generally only care about themselves.
Unless you have beauty or money...then they'll pretend they care about you.
Beauty and money is equalled to selfish gravitation.
That's my point... You worry too much about other people's point of view or judgments. You need to focus rather on your own path as opposed to being manipulated by other people's influence.
Perhaps. That is a big topic. If you were my therapist I'd have a lot to say in response to that sentence. But to keep things short and sweet.. I will keep what you said in mind, and think about how much it applies to me. I think I am very aware of the thoughts and judgments of others, by my nature. Manipulated? Well, I don't know. It does hurt me when I can't find people who relate to me. I think I am secure enough in myself to not be manipulated by the thoughts of others. But it hurts at times, for sure. I will think about this point that you made.
FreezingTsmoove
01-31-2016, 12:03 AM
Sounds like you need a girlfriend tbh
Sounds like you need a girlfriend tbh
Yeah lol. I do. Finding a soulmate (I'm bi) is all part of this. Friends, love, family- I am searching for all kinds of connections that are more fulfilling. A few years ago a bunch of my friends and family fell into heroin addiction and I lost so many of the people I grew up with. Some to prison and others to addiction that still is happening to this day. I am lucky none of them died, and I did lose my Aunt to an overdose. But that all goes into it too. I miss those guys, the way things were before it turned bad. But that was a long time ago by now. Just kind of starting from the bottom, like the new kid in Middle School all over again, sort of. And a girlfriend would definitely be an amazing thing but I have to find the right person. And probably solve more of my issues before I'm ready to be that person for her.
stalkerforlife
01-31-2016, 12:17 AM
Yeah lol. I do. Finding a soulmate (I'm bi) is all part of this. Friends, love, family- I am searching for all kinds of connections that are more fulfilling. A few years ago a bunch of my friends and family fell into heroin addiction and I lost so many of the people I grew up with. Some to prison and others to addiction that still is happening to this day. I am lucky none of them died, and I did lose my Aunt to an overdose. But that all goes into it too. I miss those guys, the way things were before it turned bad. But that was a long time ago by now. Just kind of starting from the bottom, like the new kid in Middle School all over again, sort of. And a girlfriend would definitely be an amazing thing but I have to find the right person. And probably solve more of my issues before I'm ready to be that person for her.
You like D in your A?
You like D in your A?
Not at all. 100% on top. lol..
I wouldn't even have brought it up except the fact that I came out on this forum a while ago so I didn't want to pretend to be only interested in girls on the off chance that someone actually remembered that thread.
FillJackson
01-31-2016, 12:22 AM
You need to move to a new town. Most people in your situation figure out some time between high school and college if they are outgrowing people.
If that is too long term a solution, just keep doing positive work on yourself in the short term. If folks don't want to do what you want to do, keep sometime to yourself to do the things you like.
How would you feel about going to the movies alone?
FillJackson
01-31-2016, 12:26 AM
What's the gay bar scene like in your town?
stalkerforlife
01-31-2016, 12:29 AM
Not at all. 100% on top. lol..
I wouldn't even have brought it up except the fact that I came out on this forum a while ago so I didn't want to pretend to be only interested in girls on the off chance that someone actually remembered that thread.
So what does the other dude get out of it if he can't penetrate you?
What do you do to please his D?
I agree with your general points. You are correct in a very enlightened way. Taking control of my destiny, realizing that I have control over my life. These are all ideas that I have been thinking about lately, so it's especially relevant to me at this moment. And I think they are very important things for all of us to keep in mind.
The way you express your opinions, I do not like. Statements like "stop being a *****" especially. It just feeds into the macho-mentality that so many people have. I would venture to say that most people never make a serious effort to change their perspective, or attempt to reconstruct the entire foundation of their personality and belief system. I know I have. I'm not asking for a cookie (I eat paleo), but if you have such an easy time reformatting your life, you shouldn't take that for granted. For me it is a process.
And I just hate when people say things like "stop being a *****." I was playing some backyard football the other day and my 10 year old cousin said he was insanely sore. Then he says, "but I just need to man up and keep playing." That mentality is put into people at such a young age. The idea that being a man means to "stop being a ***** and just take charge of your life." Maybe that works for you, but it's not how everyone operates.
This all boils down to your insecurity when it comes to being a homosexual.
poido123
01-31-2016, 12:36 AM
Sounds to me like OP is having issues being a homosexual in an unaccepting society.
:confusedshrug:
FillJackson
01-31-2016, 12:36 AM
So what does the other dude get out of it if he can't penetrate you?The satisfaction that comes with a job well done.
HenryGarfunkle
01-31-2016, 12:46 AM
Average joe
Misunderstood
Lonely
etc.
Your life cracks me up man. :oldlol:
Im Still Ballin
01-31-2016, 12:49 AM
Average joe
Misunderstood
Lonely
etc.
Your life cracks me up man. :oldlol:
:roll: :applause:
This all boils down to your insecurity when it comes to being a homosexual.
Nah. I'm accepting of my sexuality. I like men I like women, that's just something I've learned about myself.
My thoughts about macho-mentality are just a micro-belief. My macro belief is that gender stereotyping is, to quote George Carlin, holding us back as a species. We assign different colors to different genders. We treat girl babies more gently than we treat boy babies. I think it's important to realize that many of these things are completely insane and should not be trusted.
And not just gender issues.
For example, the common trend of people acting mean and rude on the internet. The "anonymity principle." Why are people so often rude on the internet, even shouting death threats at athletes on Twitter? Is it simply because they are anonymous? Or do we have a culture that encourages this kind of hatred and anger towards other people?
I'm not saying I'm an exception. There are things in myself that I notice, ways I'm also affected by our culture. It's normal for human beings to be affected by their culture; we are genetically coded to be social creature! We evolved as a species by adopting cultural norms. They bind us together.
That is all true biologically, but it's also true that humans are an intelligent species. We have the ability to rise above our biology and be something more.. human.
RidonKs
01-31-2016, 01:08 AM
joe :applause:
keep venting man
you got a good head and a good heart
HenryGarfunkle
01-31-2016, 01:13 AM
Nah. I'm accepting of my sexuality. I like men I like women, that's just something I've learned about myself.
My thoughts about macho-mentality are just a micro-belief. My macro belief is that gender stereotyping is, to quote George Carlin, holding us back as a species. We assign different colors to different genders. We treat girl babies more gently than we treat boy babies. I think it's important to realize that many of these things are completely insane and should not be trusted.
And not just gender issues.
For example, the common trend of people acting mean and rude on the internet. The "anonymity principle." Why are people so often rude on the internet, even shouting death threats at athletes on Twitter? Is it simply because they are anonymous? Or do we have a culture that encourages this kind of hatred and anger towards other people?
I'm not saying I'm an exception. There are things in myself that I notice, ways I'm also affected by our culture. It's normal for human beings to be affected by their culture; we are genetically coded to be social creature! We evolved as a species by adopting cultural norms. They bind us together.
That is all true biologically, but it's also true that humans are an intelligent species. We have the ability to rise above our biology and be something more.. human.
It gets better ...
He's a ****ing *** too
:roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll:
Have I ever told you that you're my favorite poster...? BY FAR, I should add. :oldlol:
ILLsmak
01-31-2016, 01:50 AM
I read your thread. I empathize.
You always seemed like a good dude. You know, if you just do you then people will figure it out eventually. The ones that don't you can just leave behind, family or not.
A downside is if you keep pushing forward then it's gonna be hard to bridge gaps unless you meet people who are also pushing forward as hard as you are... but it's w/e.
I wouldn't worry about being understood, either. It's like writing; you write something and someone likes it, and you are like did you 'understand it?' And they'll be like sure this is what I got out of it... and it's totally not what you put into it. Does it matter. Duno.
Peace
-Smak
HenryGarfunkle
01-31-2016, 01:54 AM
I read your thread. I empathize.
You always seemed like a good dude. You know, if you just do you then people will figure it out eventually. The ones that don't you can just leave behind, family or not.
A downside is if you keep pushing forward then it's gonna be hard to bridge gaps unless you meet people who are also pushing forward as hard as you are... but it's w/e.
I wouldn't worry about being understood, either. It's like writing; you write something and someone likes it, and you are like did you 'understand it?' And they'll be like sure this is what I got out of it... and it's totally not what you put into it. Does it matter. Duno.
Peace
-Smak
You're the black version of joe :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll:
All my favorite posters on at the same damn time. What are the odds?
:roll:
I read your thread. I empathize.
You always seemed like a good dude. You know, if you just do you then people will figure it out eventually. The ones that don't you can just leave behind, family or not.
A downside is if you keep pushing forward then it's gonna be hard to bridge gaps unless you meet people who are also pushing forward as hard as you are... but it's w/e.
I wouldn't worry about being understood, either. It's like writing; you write something and someone likes it, and you are like did you 'understand it?' And they'll be like sure this is what I got out of it... and it's totally not what you put into it. Does it matter. Duno.
Peace
-Smak
That's funny, I'm guessing you must write or do some sort of creative thing. It is a funny feeling when someone reads what you wrote and don't take from it exactly what you intended. And as you say, does it really matter? People find their own meaning in things.
Thanks Smak! (Black version of me?) ha
STATUTORY
01-31-2016, 02:29 PM
how old are you? do you have a job or a significant other? It sounds like you have a lot of passions and interests. Are you exploring them actively? If you like to write why are you seeking validation from friends and family instead of a wider audience, or other writers. If you are in your late 20s, then it's natural for friends to drift further apart. People have their own things going on in their lives and don't have the time or energy to be your sounding board. If you are serious about activities like writing, the onus is on you to find similar minded people who share that same passion. the chances that your friend from childhood would also be that person is actually not so good if you think about it. Because the context of your friendship is probably based on something that no longer exists.
JEFFERSON MONEY
01-31-2016, 02:56 PM
Cat will understand you Cat will provide ear
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/e8/48/f2/e848f2fec43c00053b27a254df9f7d06.jpg
AceManIII
01-31-2016, 03:26 PM
Another confused & homosexual topic...hmmm
Question for OP:
Do you have any friendships with any openly gay men?
stalkerforlife
01-31-2016, 04:54 PM
Cat will understand you Cat will provide ear
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/e8/48/f2/e848f2fec43c00053b27a254df9f7d06.jpg
:lol
I feel like the only people that understands me are the people I'm high with. And when they understand me they completely 100% understand me.
I'm high right now so :(
Another confused & homosexual topic...hmmm
Question for OP:
Do you have any friendships with any openly gay men?
Haven't been to this forum much lately so I have no idea how many confused and homosexual topics we have had. I'm not homo though, I'm bi. But whatever.
Yeah I do though, two family members and one sort-of friend. We aren't that close but we've hung out and talk on Facebook here and there. Mostly everyone else I know is straight. And I have a terrible gaydar, I don't know who's straight or who's gay at all. I thought my one friend was gay for years, and hiding it. He might still be, I don't know. But if he is he is really sticking with the lie. (Girlfriend for years, claims to not understand gay people and thinks it's gross). Those claims always made me even more convinced he was gay. But idk, at this point I just take his word that he's straight.
how old are you? do you have a job or a significant other? It sounds like you have a lot of passions and interests. Are you exploring them actively? If you like to write why are you seeking validation from friends and family instead of a wider audience, or other writers. If you are in your late 20s, then it's natural for friends to drift further apart. People have their own things going on in their lives and don't have the time or energy to be your sounding board. If you are serious about activities like writing, the onus is on you to find similar minded people who share that same passion. the chances that your friend from childhood would also be that person is actually not so good if you think about it. Because the context of your friendship is probably based on something that no longer exists.
Yeah I agree with this. For me personally, it's been hard to deal with because I have trouble making new friends or building relationships. It's just something I am not great at. My childhood friends, we knew each other from 4th grade or earlier, and we were like brothers until just a few years ago. We were drifting apart already, I knew that. But they were my friends and I loved them. When everyone started using drugs, selling drugs, getting arrested.. it kind of forced us apart. It probably would have happened naturally anyway. Maybe it's better this way, because in some ways I know they weren't good for me. But I loved them. The last few years are the first time I don't have all of those strong connections. Nobody needs to shed a tear for me, I'll figure things out. That has just been part of the hand I was dealt. We all get dealt our share of problems. But it definitely has been sort of a shock to watch those friendships melt away so quickly and so gracelessly.
Edit- Well, we all used various drugs for a long time starting in 9th grade. But when they amped up to heroin is when things got ugly. I never did it, never would. **** that
I feel like the only people that understands me are the people I'm high with. And when they understand me they completely 100% understand me.
I'm high right now so :(
Does being high make you feel negative? I ask because of the sad face at the end.
Does being high make you feel negative? I ask because of the sad face at the end.
Not at all. I appreciated life better. I understood the importance of how grateful we need to be when high.
Not high anymore.
SexSymbol
01-31-2016, 07:47 PM
Go to 4chan, they're a cool group of people and are pretty interesting when you have nobody else to turn to.
Not at all. I appreciated life better. I understood the importance of how grateful we need to be when high.
Not high anymore.
I get that too. But I also get a negative voice that sort of picks my life apart bit by bit. "Why don't you do this? Why are you acting like this? Why aren't you trying to do this?" Although many times, that "negative voice" has caused me to make positive changes. I thought maybe you felt the same when I seen the :( face.
But also appreciating things. Realizing that I need to treat certain people better. Appreciating the greatness of certain movies or video games. MJ can be a crazy experience. I take 1 tiny puff now because it's way too intense otherwise.
AceManIII
01-31-2016, 08:24 PM
Haven't been to this forum much lately so I have no idea how many confused and homosexual topics we have had. I'm not homo though, I'm bi. But whatever.
Yeah I do though, two family members and one sort-of friend. We aren't that close but we've hung out and talk on Facebook here and there. Mostly everyone else I know is straight. And I have a terrible gaydar, I don't know who's straight or who's gay at all. I thought my one friend was gay for years, and hiding it. He might still be, I don't know. But if he is he is really sticking with the lie. (Girlfriend for years, claims to not understand gay people and thinks it's gross). Those claims always made me even more convinced he was gay. But idk, at this point I just take his word that he's straight.
For the first bolded, you need to lose this way of thinking. You don't need to stress whether you're bi or homo, the main point is you find other men attractive. I feel like you believe being an open batty boi is embarrassing which is why you're stating stuff like "I'm only doing the giving and no receiving" and stressing that you're "bi".
As for the second bolded, basically...you don't have any close gay friends. Honestly, I feel like you're an emotional, thoughtful guy who is deep in the closet and is afraid to fully come out. Even though your gaydar sucks, you need to reach out and find some homo friends. I bet they would understand you more than the average person. Probably help you feel at peace with your true self.
sundizz
01-31-2016, 08:24 PM
Negativity is human nature. This is how our genes are wired - to hold on dearly to what we know (no matter how bad it is) and to fear change. It is a self protection mechanism.
You also have it. You, OP, are like how I used to be. Movies, people, our general enthusiasm taught us that life is lived with people. Your defense mechanism is that you stop for mental freedom by attaching worth to how people around you feel.
Once I realized it is not my role, or duty, in life to make the people around me happy everything changed.
I went from couldn't find a job to having finished a master's, lived abroad for six years, started a company, and am now back in my home state/area and loving the lack of change here.
You have to learn to love the process of becoming great. Your mind goes from a rollercoaster to an Escalade cruising on a cross country trip (marathon not Sprint). All people's negativity, opinioms, perceptions etc starts to juz bounce off you because you realized every individual needs to find their own fulfillment.
Basically, learn to love the process, not the acceptance of your ideas by peers, and especially family.
It's a hard world out there and without inner steel you'll never feel fulfillment.
For the first bolded, you need to lose this way of thinking. You don't need to stress whether you're bi or homo, the main point is you find other men attractive. I feel like you believe being an open batty boi is embarrassing which is why you're stating stuff like "I'm only doing the giving and no receiving" and stressing that you're "bi".
As for the second bolded, basically...you don't have any close gay friends. Honestly, I feel like you're an emotional, thoughtful guy who is deep in the closet and is afraid to fully come out. Even though your gaydar sucks, you need to reach out and find some homo friends. I bet they would understand you more than the average person. Probably help you feel at peace with your true self.
Someone just took psych 101?
I corrected that I am bi not homo because that's the truth. By calling me "a homo" that poster was ignoring what I said and putting his own labels on me. And someone asked me if I, and I quote, take "D's in the A." The answer is no. It's not like I went out of my way to bring it up. I have more issues with people talking out of their ass like you, than I have with anything involving my own ass.
ihatetimthomas
01-31-2016, 08:42 PM
Thank you. For my part I have been exercising, taking walks, writing a bunch, drawing, coaching youth basketball, and doing other things that I'm secretly really proud of. I have also made an effort to meet some new people and spend time with "sort of friends" who I always thought clicked really well with me. I know you are right- the best thing is to focus on what I can control. I want to say I am (humbly) proud and happy that I have been able to do some of those things. I just wanted to vent that, as I go through this process, I look around and feel alone much of the time. I am happy to say that it hasn't discouraged me in my pursuit of building a life I want.
You are on the right path. Keeping active and putting yourself in situations where you are fulfilled and have opportunities to meet people of similar interests is a really good thing.
There is no doubt it will be difficult at times and it's only natural to focus on the negatives at times but keep on the track you are going. You seem to be focusing on things that make you happy and if you continue to do so, I believe it will open doors to meet the type of people you want to surround yourself with. The process of getting those relationships will be the most tough but you will get there with patience and drive. Keep your head up!
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