Advice if you are a prolonged houseguest

[hateraid]

We have a friend staying over from out of town. He's lost his business and is planning on moving here. I've allowed him to stay here until he finds a job and can afford to stay on his own.

Since he's stayed here I'm reminded why I can't stand roommates. He uses my blender glasses for my Ninja to get water only because they're bigger than regular glasses. He'll wash dishes because he does not like to use the dishwasher. But when I go to put the dishes away there's food particles still stuck on the dishware. One time he attempted to put away a cutting board and I saw raw chicken on it. He'll offer to cook, but leave the biggest messes which I or my wife will have to clean the next morning.

My advice is if you are a prolonged house guest, don't offer to help cook or clean around the house. Offer money. You may think you are useful but really it becomes an annoyance. If you don't have money then, then offer once you get a job or make a verbal commitment to pay back. Give at least half of what is expected for room and board. Give material things like beer and wine. But if you do decide to help around the house, make it a job that you know you can do 100% beyond your expectations. Cut the grass, shovel the walkway, repair something you know you can do. Do the things that the owners would rather put off or pay someone to do. Just some helpful advice.

[stalkerforlife]

Are you afraid to leave him and your wife alone?

[Im Still Ballin]

Agreed

BTW - This isn't the gay guy who snatched your prescription glasses, right?

[hateraid]

Are you afraid to leave him and your wife alone?

Why would I be?

[stalkerforlife]

Why would I be?

You can never truly trust anyone.

[hateraid]

Agreed

BTW - This isn't the gay guy who snatched your prescription glasses, right?

Lol. But I did get payday out of it. I confronted him and he got a new pair of perscription Tom Fords and I got a pair of $1200 DITA sunglasses. Not bad for 7 times the value of my first pair of glasses

http://i.ebayimg.com/images/g/pOgAAOSwgQ9Vmwtd/s-l300.jpg

http://ak1.ostkcdn.com/images/products/7508944/7508944/Tom-Ford-Womens-Black-Optical-Eyeglass-Frames-P14949660.jpeg

[hateraid]

You can never truly trust anyone.

I offered you to stay. Can I trust you?

[Im Still Ballin]

Baller bro.

BTW, seeing as you are in the supplement and nutrition industry

What are your thoughts on Carbs and Fats in relation to testosterone levels and hormone regulation

What sort of macro balance is optimal in your opinion

[stalkerforlife]

I offered you to stay. Can I trust you?

Yes, but I have better morals than 99% of the population.

Praise God.

[hateraid]

Baller bro.

BTW, seeing as you are in the supplement and nutrition industry

What are your thoughts on Carbs and Fats in relation to testosterone levels and hormone regulation

What sort of macro balance is optimal in your opinion

Not how much but what type or carbs and fats that will affect you're hormones. Eat zinc rich foods and avoid estrogen enhancing foods like soy and yams. Although there isn't a lot in those estrogen promoting products it's generally a rule of thumb. But zinc is optional in hormone regulation for men.

[UK2K]

Sucks. I know a girl whose husband had a friend stay at their place that she didn't approve of. Dude was lazy, no job, slept on their couch.

She ended up going crazy on him and now he's gone.

Awkward for everyone.

[hateraid]

Sucks. I know a girl whose husband had a friend stay at their place that she didn't approve of. Dude was lazy, no job, slept on their couch.

She ended up going crazy on him and now he's gone.

Awkward for everyone.

It's getting there....
Especially not properly washing the dishes. It annoys my wife that the dishes he washes we end up having to put in the dishwasher anyways. Or all the sauce mess left after he cooks. We try to make it inconspicuously obvious by constantly wiping down his mess when he happens to be in the kitchen. We're just going to have to sit him down tonight and just tell him to relax and not do any cooking or cleaning. Just buy the groceries and we'll do it.

[dude77]

no fkn way to houseguests .. been there .. not again .. ever ..

if you stay at someone's place, make sure you stay out of their way as much as possible and remember you have to adjust to them, not the other way around you ungrateful little vermin

[Dresta]

Ugh, people who don't clean up after themselves in the Kitchen, are just ugh: i don't mind someone being a bit messy, but people who leave actual dirt everywhere are disgusting. Especially in the Kitchen, as you have to cook as well. And the worst is when they get all defensive like it's not even a problem, or that they aren't doing it. Those kind of people really suck to live with, and they can be nice and kind and generous in lots of other ways too.

Reminds me of Uni: made a big mistake with my first choice of roommates.

[hateraid]

Ugh, people who don't clean up after themselves in the Kitchen, are just ugh: i don't mind someone being a bit messy, but people who leave actual dirt everywhere are disgusting. Especially in the Kitchen, as you have to cook as well. And the worst is when they get all defensive like it's not even a problem, or that they aren't doing it. Those kind of people really suck to live with, and they can be nice and kind and generous in lots of other ways too.

Reminds me of Uni: made a big mistake with my first choice of roommates.

Yes!
Offering to cook does not negate the big mess that I have to clean up after.

The worst for me is he uses my Blender Cup for getting himself water when we have plenty of cups.

http://g02.s.alicdn.com/kf/UT8ntgYXahbXXagOFbXQ/ninja-blender.jpg

I mean, who does that? It's clearly an item not intended for regular drinking water, but he ALWAYS grabs my blender mixing cup

[red1]

Bro stop being so nice. Just set clear terms that will make it simpler for everyone. Sit him down and have the talk.

[nathanjizzle]

We have a friend staying over from out of town. He's lost his business and is planning on moving here. I've allowed him to stay here until he finds a job and can afford to stay on his own.

Since he's stayed here I'm reminded why I can't stand roommates. He uses my blender glasses for my Ninja to get water only because they're bigger than regular glasses. He'll wash dishes because he does not like to use the dishwasher. But when I go to put the dishes away there's food particles still stuck on the dishware. One time he attempted to put away a cutting board and I saw raw chicken on it. He'll offer to cook, but leave the biggest messes which I or my wife will have to clean the next morning.

My advice is if you are a prolonged house guest, don't offer to help cook or clean around the house. Offer money. You may think you are useful but really it becomes an annoyance. If you don't have money then, then offer once you get a job or make a verbal commitment to pay back. Give at least half of what is expected for room and board. Give material things like beer and wine. But if you do decide to help around the house, make it a job that you know you can do 100% beyond your expectations. Cut the grass, shovel the walkway, repair something you know you can do. Do the things that the owners would rather put off or pay someone to do. Just some helpful advice.

he lost his business because he is incompetent.

[Nick Young]

We have a friend staying over from out of town. He's lost his business and is planning on moving here. I've allowed him to stay here until he finds a job and can afford to stay on his own.

Since he's stayed here I'm reminded why I can't stand roommates. He uses my blender glasses for my Ninja to get water only because they're bigger than regular glasses. He'll wash dishes because he does not like to use the dishwasher. But when I go to put the dishes away there's food particles still stuck on the dishware. One time he attempted to put away a cutting board and I saw raw chicken on it. He'll offer to cook, but leave the biggest messes which I or my wife will have to clean the next morning.

My advice is if you are a prolonged house guest, don't offer to help cook or clean around the house. Offer money. You may think you are useful but really it becomes an annoyance. If you don't have money then, then offer once you get a job or make a verbal commitment to pay back. Give at least half of what is expected for room and board. Give material things like beer and wine. But if you do decide to help around the house, make it a job that you know you can do 100% beyond your expectations. Cut the grass, shovel the walkway, repair something you know you can do. Do the things that the owners would rather put off or pay someone to do. Just some helpful advice.
you won't be saying good bye to that guy any time soon. It will be hard to get rid of him too if he really digs his heels in and tries to stay once you get sick of him and tell him to go. Unless you have papers describing this arrangement written up, the law is firmly on his side.


Be careful bro. If you give a mouse a cookie, he'll ask for a glass of milk. It will never end.

[hateraid]

Bro stop being so nice. Just set clear terms that will make it simpler for everyone. Sit him down and have the talk.

He's a good guy and a good friend. He would do the same for me. But I am going to talk with him tonight. I'll just tell him that we'll take care of the cooking and cleaning. He can help out by buying odds and ends. TP, some groceries, dishwasher detergent.....that would far more than compensate

[hateraid]

he lost his business because he is incompetent.

Well to be fair he lost it in the Philippines to a Typhoon which flooded his restaurant. Because he's white the Mayor wouldn't grant him a permit to rebuild. It was actually a case of bad luck.
But it was shocking to me he owned a restaurant considering how unsanitary he is :lol

[hateraid]

you won't be saying good bye to that guy any time soon. It will be hard to get rid of him too if he really digs his heels in and tries to stay once you get sick of him and tell him to go. Unless you have papers describing this arrangement written up, the law is firmly on his side.


Be careful bro. If you give a mouse a cookie, he'll ask for a glass of milk. It will never end.


I hear you. The longer I let it stand the more comfortable he'll get

[KNOW1EDGE]

Does he speak english?

Do you speak english?

Try using your words, but with him, instead of with us.

Its pretty simple. Tell him to get right or get gone.

Are you afraid of him or something?

[Nick Young]

I hear you. The longer I let it stand the more comfortable he'll get
Also, the more the law will protect him if you ever try to kick him out or "evict" him, depending on what state you're in. Even if he hasn't paid a cent in rent, even if his name is no where on the lease.

It will be hard to get rid of this guy if he refuses to leave, if he's been at your place for more than a month.

[hateraid]

Does he speak english?

Do you speak english?

Try using your words, but with him, instead of with us.

Its pretty simple. Tell him to get right or get gone.

Are you afraid of him or something?

Lol, you think it's that simple? Look what happens on here when people are being told to straighten up. People get immediately defensive. People don't like to be told they are doing something wrong. It would be no different in real life then on here.

I mean, take this post for example. Tell I'm wrong but I bet you're immediately getting defensive and want to tell me I'm being a cuck. Not trying to argue with you or get you upset, but was that you're immediate reaction? I'm generally a nice guy, but look at when I questioned why shade is not asking his teacher help on a math question. I get immediate bad reaction.

It's not as easy as it sounds without feelings getting hurt. The approach has to be well thought out and executed.

[KNOW1EDGE]

I think it's extremely simple but you are making it complicated.

Communication is key. Use your words. Don't be afraid of hurting his feelings. Don't put his feelings in front of you and your wife's happiness.

[Hawker]

Yeah, seems like you should just talk to the guy. Seems like you have a confrontation issue. You got shit for the shade post because the dude is from ireland...hence the time zone comment.

[hateraid]

I think it's extremely simple but you are making it complicated.

Communication is key. Use your words. Don't be afraid of hurting his feelings. Don't put his feelings in front of you and your wife's happiness.

I absolutely agree. I'm not about to put mine and my wife's personal comfort over my friend's feelings. And I'm not saying it's not simple to bring it up, I'm saying it makes things complicated and turns out ackward.

As a matter of fact I did have a talk with him and I mentioned everything I had posted in here about it. And as I expected he took offense to it. He essentially left and is staying with another friend. It's a shame because this is a friend who has in the past bent over backwards for me. Like I said, people have a hard time taking criticism and it especially makes it tougher when you have to break it to a close friend.

[nathanjizzle]

Well to be fair he lost it in the Philippines to a Typhoon which flooded his restaurant. Because he's white the Mayor wouldn't grant him a permit to rebuild. It was actually a case of bad luck.
But it was shocking to me he owned a restaurant considering how unsanitary he is :lol

what the flying fucc did you invite into your house? an fbi profiler would categorize this guy as a pedophile

[hateraid]

what the flying fucc did you invite into your house? an fbi profiler would categorize this guy as a pedophile

I don't get it? :confusedshrug:

[nathanjizzle]

I don't get it? :confusedshrug:
a white guy that lived in the Philippines? a Filipino official that didnt like white guys for some odd reason? sex trafficking of minor girls and boys. not saying he was apart of that, but very much a possible profile.

check this guy out.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christopher_Paul_Neil

[hateraid]

a white guy that lived in the Philippines? a Filipino official that didnt like white guys for some odd reason? sex trafficking of minor girls and boys. not saying he was apart of that, but very much a possible profile.

check this guy out.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christopher_Paul_Neil
Lol. I've never heard that before. But I'll do a background check. He did marry a Filipina and has a kid with her. He's a Jewish fella I knew since I started working with GNC and he was a sales rep. I call him my Jewipino buddy. But you never know.....:lol

[LJJ]

Yeah, seems like you should just talk to the guy. Seems like you have a confrontation issue. You got shit for the shade post because the dude is from ireland...hence the time zone comment.

Yeah.

First time you see him walking around with your special cup "hey bro, I like to keep that cup just for my blender, so grab a different one next time". Problem solved.

It's always going to be awkward to have someone who's not family living in your home with your family tho.

[UK2K]

I absolutely agree. I'm not about to put mine and my wife's personal comfort over my friend's feelings. And I'm not saying it's not simple to bring it up, I'm saying it makes things complicated and turns out ackward.

As a matter of fact I did have a talk with him and I mentioned everything I had posted in here about it. And as I expected he took offense to it. He essentially left and is staying with another friend. It's a shame because this is a friend who has in the past bent over backwards for me. Like I said, people have a hard time taking criticism and it especially makes it tougher when you have to break it to a close friend.

Dude, let me tell you...

I had a guy living in my place for a while. Been one of my good friends for years, since middle school I guess. He had a drug problem, and had lost his job. He had several DUI's so he had no car and no license. He had nothing, he was sleeping on a futon mattress in one of my spare bedrooms.

After a while, I had to sit him down. You have to explain it...

"Look, I don't mind you living here, but the longer you live here, the less time you have for making your own life. If I allowed you to live here forever, when are you going to get your own life in order?"

One of the hardest things I ever had to do. I gave him chances and chances and chances, until one night we went out with a lot of friends and family (including my girlfriend's parents). He was so ****ed up on pills, he passed out in front of the bonfire while everyone made fun of him.

When it came time to take him home, I told him he needed to go stay somewhere else. I offered to take him and drop him off at another friends house, but he didn't want to go because he had to sleep on their couch. So he told me to leave him at a gas station (at about 2am).

So, I did.

Now, he's found a girlfriend with a kid, and has become that kid's father, more or less. He got his old job back now, and seems to be doing well. I still haven't talked to him in probably two years, but I know hes better now than he was.

Sometimes, you gotta be cruel to be kind. Not saying that night opened his eyes, but I do know that if I had enabled him to continue down the path he was on, he'd be a lot worse off than he is now.

[iamgine]

Or you can show him this thread.

Would be fun.