Good things to do after getting dumped?

[fos]

So I was dumped 10 days ago, I won't go through all the details but it was pretty awful. Anyways, since then I've been running 8 miles a day, reading a bit, and submitting a lot of job applications. I'm down to 200 lbs from 212, which is great. Just trying to keep my mind on other things. I've started the ol' online dating and have a few coffee dates set up and I've reached out to an old fwb for the obvious. The worst part is we have an apartment together and the lease doesn't expire until March, but she graduates college in December, so hopefully she bails at that point. Was curious if anyone has any good suggestions on things to do to keep busy. It's been tough. Thanks :cheers:

[Smoke117]

Post the sex tapes and/or nudes on the internet.

[BasedTom]

strip club

[fos]

strip club

Never really been into that. Also I am broke as shit, lost my job (first time in my life) so I'm pretty much at rock bottom.

[Nick Young]

1. lift weights
2. exercise
3. don't socially isolate
4. don't binge drink
5. go no contact with ex. Delete her number, block her on social media-EDIT: just saw you live with her so can't really do that.

6. hang around with supportive people who have your back


If she lives with you, why would she dump you? What is she thinking? This will be tough but don't let her break you. ISH got your back. Get fit and exercise and do cool shit.

She will get jelly and want you back as soon as she realizes you're banging dimes. By then, you won't even want her back.

Don't get fit to take revenge on her. Get fit for you. Your whole life will improve, and your confidence will grow the healthier and more in shape you become.

[UK2K]

6 months after I was single, I was a beast from the weights...

That'll make you get over her real quick.

[highwhey]

Workout

[UK2K]

Never really been into that. Also I am broke as shit, lost my job (first time in my life) so I'm pretty much at rock bottom.

You think its bad.... but it can always get worse.

Remember that.

[highwhey]

You think its bad.... but it can always get worse.

Remember that.
Yep. You could turn into a racist.

[fos]

Working out seems to be a trend here. Like I said I've been running like a nut. 8 miles every day and it's starting to pay off. I should do the weight lifting too, I have a gym membership, might as well make use of it. I've never really worked out much at least with weight lifting, any advice on that, starting out? I've thought about deleting her from facebook and things of that nature, but I think it's probably best to just unfollow her and not look at her profile? She is my roommate so I have to be around her/in contact at least a minimal limit.

[UK2K]

Working out seems to be a trend here. Like I said I've been running like a nut. 8 miles every day and it's starting to pay off. I should do the weight lifting too, I have a gym membership, might as well make use of it. I've never really worked out much at least with weight lifting, any advice on that, starting out? I've thought about deleting her from facebook and things of that nature, but I think it's probably best to just unfollow her and not look at her profile? She is my roommate so I have to be around her/in contact at least a minimal limit.

A) That sucks and is awkward.

B) Delete her from everything....but not if you all live together. That's weird. If you didn't live together, then I'd say absolutely, erase her from your phone and don't even tempt yourself.

The sooner you establish a new 'routine' that doesn't include her, the quicker you'll get over it.

[Hawker]

How hard is it to get someone to take over your part of the lease so you can move out? I'd make that move as soon as you get a new job. Sounds like you need to save money as well if you're broke.

I've never been in your weird situation or known others but I'd be surprised if you don't end up having sex again with her before she moves out.

[warriorfan]

If it is a one bedroom make her sleep in the living room

Then talk to her as little as possible and bring as many girls as possible back to the apartment

[~primetime~]

Brad Pitt?

[bigkingsfan]

Listen to Taylor Swift

[Long Duck Dong]

Happened to me a few years ago. I was this girl for almost 3 years but the last 6 months I became distant and was seeing other girls on the side. We kinda just faded apart, we'd have sex when I wanted it but that's about it. She comes to me one day, and says she met a guy at work who wants to date her but she's not even sure we are broke up, but it seems like it's over and wants my permission to date him. I was jumping for joy inside. I can get rid of her without the messy breakup and guilt trip. Especially since she would always be trying to contact me when I was busy. So I kiss her on the cheek and tell her yes, it's ok.

So she starts seeing this guy and I start to get a little jealous, and try to get her into bed. I almost succeed one time but she stays strong, and remains loyal to this guy. The fact that she doesn't want me now, makes her more desirable than ever to me. I start thinking about what I have let go, how my life would have changed if I had married her since she started talking abut marriage after 2 years together, which coincidentally is when I started finding her less attractive.

Sorry for the rambling, but getting on topic. I lost literally 18lbs in weeks. Couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, every ounce of my being wanted to pick up the phone and call her, or think of excuses to meet up with her. I don't know how you could read because I tried that but my thoughts would drift back to her, and I'd put the book down. Listening to music just made things MUCH worse. My friends would ask what's wrong, they had no idea I wanted her back, but my pride refused to allow me to spill my guts to them. Went on like this for maybe a whole month where sometimes I would actually feel physical pain in my chest. I tried to get with other girls but my game was off, they could sense something was wrecked inside me, and it had to be off putting to them.

Then one day I was staring up at this ceiling fan at my work, and my pain and desire for her clicked off like a light switch. The effect was instant. I never really felt much for her after that. I don't know what it was but if I could bottle that instant change in chemistry, I'd be a billionaire and save the world a lot of misery. :oldlol:

[warriorfan]

Cucked Duck Dong

[StephHamann]

OP got his thread cucked by Long Duck Cuck

[Long Duck Dong]

Stuff like that happens to everyone right? :confusedshrug:

Or is it just me?:oldlol:

Thing is I'm starting to feel that same lack of desire for my current gf even though there is nothing wrong with her and she treats me great . Setting myself up for round 2...

[Nick Young]

They just get boring after 2-2.5 years. After honeymoon phase is up, all relationships are living on borrowed time.

I think that's as long as we humans were evolved to want to be together. Marriage contracts and social constructs are the only thing that keeps so many people in society monogamous for so long, and note how miserable nearly everyone with a wife is. Note how so many marriages end in divorce now that the social stigma has been removed.

[Crown&Coke]

Keep your head up dawg. Don't let em see you sweat, they smile at your pain. Bitches be crazy

In my experience, if you were really into her, it is going to hurt for a while, you are going to have suck it up and let it pass. Or you can do the whole "jump on the next one" tip, that works for while.

Remember, it is better to be by yourself than with someone who doesn't want to be with you, it took me a little while to figure that out, but once I did, man, did the weight lift off my shoulders.

You should continue to be active, keep running, try a sports league or just hoop at the park. And I would advise to keep it civil, let her do her thing and you do yours.

But mainly, keep your head up pimpin

[warriorfan]

They just get boring after 2-2.5 years. After honeymoon phase is up, all relationships are living on borrowed time.

I think that's as long as we humans were evolved to want to be together. Marriage contracts and social constructs are the only thing that keeps so many people in society monogamous for so long, and note how miserable nearly everyone with a wife is. Note how so many marriages end in divorce now that the social stigma has been removed.

This is just something that losers who can't attract quality long term partners say

[sd3035]

Never been dumped so it's hard to say, but when I dump a girl, I always move on to the next as soon as possible

[Long Duck Dong]

This is just something that losers who can't attract quality long term partners say

I thought you were a love 'em leave 'em player. What do you know about long term partners?

[warriorfan]

I thought you were a love 'em leave 'em player. What do you know about long term partners?

I've been with my current girlfriend for over 4 years

[bigkingsfan]

I've been with my current girlfriend for over 4 years
Curry is already married.

[Jasper]

OP start a list of things you want to do , as well as clean out your mind of her....
Concentrate on you for a while , then find a girlfriend... go slow bro

[Jasper]

Happened to me a few years ago. I was this girl for almost 3 years but the last 6 months I became distant and was seeing other girls on the side. We kinda just faded apart, we'd have sex when I wanted it but that's about it. She comes to me one day, and says she met a guy at work who wants to date her but she's not even sure we are broke up, but it seems like it's over and wants my permission to date him. I was jumping for joy inside. I can get rid of her without the messy breakup and guilt trip. Especially since she would always be trying to contact me when I was busy. So I kiss her on the cheek and tell her yes, it's ok.

So she starts seeing this guy and I start to get a little jealous, and try to get her into bed. I almost succeed one time but she stays strong, and remains loyal to this guy. The fact that she doesn't want me now, makes her more desirable than ever to me. I start thinking about what I have let go, how my life would have changed if I had married her since she started talking abut marriage after 2 years together, which coincidentally is when I started finding her less attractive.

Sorry for the rambling, but getting on topic. I lost literally 18lbs in weeks. Couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, every ounce of my being wanted to pick up the phone and call her, or think of excuses to meet up with her. I don't know how you could read because I tried that but my thoughts would drift back to her, and I'd put the book down. Listening to music just made things MUCH worse. My friends would ask what's wrong, they had no idea I wanted her back, but my pride refused to allow me to spill my guts to them. Went on like this for maybe a whole month where sometimes I would actually feel physical pain in my chest. I tried to get with other girls but my game was off, they could sense something was wrecked inside me, and it had to be off putting to them.

Then one day I was staring up at this ceiling fan at my work, and my pain and desire for her clicked off like a light switch. The effect was instant. I never really felt much for her after that. I don't know what it was but if I could bottle that instant change in chemistry, I'd be a billionaire and save the world a lot of misery. :oldlol:
The animal desire to pound someone , you can't have , or had and broke up , is a power natural thing.
Our minds are more powerful then other animals in the kingdom , its called moving on , and appreciating the good times as an experience we won't want to forget. :rockon:

[Nilocon165]

Watch anime and cry yourself to sleep

[Smoke117]

Watch anime and cry yourself to sleep

So be Jameer?

[LJJ]

I don't know the deal, but it sounds like a familiar story you know. Lose your job, broke, girl graduates and gets new chances. A lot of women "suddenly" lose that spark when the relationship dynamic changes. Those are not the kind of women you want to be with.

Personally, rather than jumping feet first into the online dating game in the first days, if I were you I would hang back and relax and not worry about particular women for a bit. Play the same game you can expect the same results, maybe you need a change of pace if you want a different kind of woman. My life really changed for the better when after my last break up I just took a break from hunting and thought about what I really wanted rather than just roll from relationship to fling to relationship.

[Doomsday Dallas]

OP start a list of things you want to do , as well as clean out your mind of her....
Concentrate on you for a while , then find a girlfriend... go slow bro


I've always found that getting laid after a breakup is the best thing to do.

Doesn't matter if it's an upgrade or downgrade... just find a way to get laid.
(and not through means of prostitution)

and this is only if it's 'officially-official'



Strip Clubs will only make the pain of getting dumped worse...

but if you can find a woman that likes you enough to do some
some crazy things in the bedroom... this would be a good remedy.

Internet Dating too soon can be depressing as well.

[KyrieTheFuture]

I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that she dumped you and isn't moving out. Who the **** dumps someone but says they're still gonna live together a few months? She couldn't suck it up until January before calling it off?

[Doomsday Dallas]

I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that she dumped you and isn't moving out. Who the **** dumps someone but says they're still gonna live together a few months? She couldn't suck it up until January before calling it off?


$hit... I had to live with my ex-wife for a few months after we split.

We had a big enough house to where it wasn't too bad, but I couldn't
imagine having to put up with that kind of mess in a small apartment.

It happens to a lot of couples.

[KyrieTheFuture]

$hit... I had to live with my ex-wife for a few months after we split.

We had a big enough house to where it wasn't too bad, but I couldn't
imagine having to put up with that kind of mess in a small apartment.

It happens to a lot of couples.
That's divorce in what I would guess is a home you owned? This seems like an entirely avoidable situation (not for the OP, he got screwed over)

[~primetime~]

Every man needs to get their heart stepped on good at least once in life. It hurts like hell, but you grow from it as a human. You learn not to take women you care about for granted, and you learn how important and rare love is. It matures your soul.

For men, when a woman comes along and falls for us, at first they'll do anything we say, we own them. It's very easy for us to forget that they won't act like that forever, and when they stop doing backflips we get upset, like "wtf apparently you forgot I was God!" Then they leave and we are left in the realization of how good we had it, and how shitty we were to them.

[Long Duck Dong]

Every man needs to get their heart stepped on good at least once in life. It hurts like hell, but you grow from it as a human. You learn not to take women you care about for granted, and you learn how important and rare love is. It matures your soul.

For men, when a woman comes along and falls for us, at first they'll do anything we say, we own them. It's very easy for us to forget that they won't act like that forever, and when they stop doing backflips we get upset, like "wtf apparently you forgot I was God!" Then they leave and we are left in the realization of how good we had it, and how shitty we were to them.

I don't know if that's true for most of us. Any woman who tries too hard to please a man quickly turns to smothering, even boredom. In lots of relationships women try HARDER to please their man as time goes on but lots of guys get ancy when that happens. Same goes for women. If one partner tries too hard, that means the other is the one in control. Many really don't want that responsibility of being in control and find it burdensome. Might different if you are married with children, I wouldn't know.

[nathanjizzle]

man, my first love was a girl i started dating when we were 16, up until her college freshman year she left me. she instantly had a new boyfriend. i was a loser back then, not going to school and a miserable part time job. Young to 21 so the world was still an odd and unknown place and these feelings were new. it was the worst time of my life, very painful and dark. worst part lasted about a year and lingered for another. It can last that long if you mentally hold on to something and not put effort into moving forward. but i learned and grew from it and im as happy as ever and ive learned how to manage pain very well.

[Doomsday Dallas]

she left me. she instantly had a new boyfriend.


This is why I recommended getting laid asap.

The feeling of getting dumped is bad enough...
but the worst feeling ever is knowing your
ex-girlfriend is out banging some other guy
and you're all alone jerking off.

[Doomsday Dallas]

it was the worst time of my life, very painful and dark. worst part lasted about a year and lingered for another. It can last that long if you mentally hold on to something and not put effort into moving forward.


Pep Talk (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ByPzzT9ScFA)

[highwhey]

I don't know if that's true for most of us. Any woman who tries too hard to please a man quickly turns to smothering, even boredom. In lots of relationships women try HARDER to please their man as time goes on but lots of guys get ancy when that happens. Same goes for women. If one partner tries too hard, that means the other is the one in control. Many really don't want that responsibility of being in control and find it burdensome. Might different if you are married with children, I wouldn't know.
why is that? for all my relationships i never really tried much and ended getting dumped by the girls. my latest relationship, i actually tried but it was too late and got dropped like a rock.

i'm the coldest person i know though. i guess everyone is scared of compromising.

[SupermanOnSteroids]

dude this is what you do

contact yasir arafat

tell him you need to excavate her va gina

yasir arafat excavates her va gina

you keep it in a jar in your basement and finger it when you feel lonely.

[GimmeThat]

So I was dumped 10 days ago, I won't go through all the details but it was pretty awful. Anyways, since then I've been running 8 miles a day, reading a bit, and submitting a lot of job applications. I'm down to 200 lbs from 212, which is great. Just trying to keep my mind on other things. I've started the ol' online dating and have a few coffee dates set up and I've reached out to an old fwb for the obvious. The worst part is we have an apartment together and the lease doesn't expire until March, but she graduates college in December, so hopefully she bails at that point. Was curious if anyone has any good suggestions on things to do to keep busy. It's been tough. Thanks :cheers:

either you don't know how to break up with someone, or porn just isn't working in your area it appears

I suppose there is the possibility of you calling the wrong type of fwb and am now regretting it. but you know, that's someone to pay rent for you, unless rent money also isn't an issue now as well.

but then, why not just pay for porn from the beginning?

[Jasper]

Fos pawned us all.

[highwhey]

i find that dating younger girls than before helps and makes the ex's jealous.

[Velocirap31]

Every man needs to get their heart stepped on good at least once in life. It hurts like hell, but you grow from it as a human. You learn not to take women you care about for granted, and you learn how important and rare love is. It matures your soul.

For men, when a woman comes along and falls for us, at first they'll do anything we say, we own them. It's very easy for us to forget that they won't act like that forever, and when they stop doing backflips we get upset, like "wtf apparently you forgot I was God!" Then they leave and we are left in the realization of how good we had it, and how shitty we were to them.

This is pretty accurate. I don't even need to post in here now. :applause:

[fos]

I'm doing pretty, pretty good. So I've been running 8 miles a day, down to 196 lbs (I was as high as 215, need to get down to about 180). The job hunt is heating up, had a pretty good phone interview, haven't heard back yet but then another job called to schedule a phone interview and it pays pretty decent. I've also banged an old fwb and arranged about 5 coffee dates from okcupid. Things are looking up, just have to keep looking forward.

[SwayDizzle]

your priority should be to move out asap. good luck with the job hunt

[Doomsday Dallas]

I've also banged an old fwb


This, unfortunately, in my opinion,.....
is the correct path to take.

it's for the best... helps you move on faster.

[iamgine]

So I was dumped 10 days ago, I won't go through all the details but it was pretty awful. Anyways, since then I've been running 8 miles a day, reading a bit, and submitting a lot of job applications. I'm down to 200 lbs from 212, which is great. Just trying to keep my mind on other things. I've started the ol' online dating and have a few coffee dates set up and I've reached out to an old fwb for the obvious. The worst part is we have an apartment together and the lease doesn't expire until March, but she graduates college in December, so hopefully she bails at that point. Was curious if anyone has any good suggestions on things to do to keep busy. It's been tough. Thanks :cheers:
https://i.makeagif.com/media/9-22-2016/Gmet0d.gif

[NBAplayoffs2001]

Depending on the situation, don't contact her unless you guys were like best friends prior to dating and she thought it was better you remained friends.

Usually, I would recommend just staying out of contact with them and try to avoid drunk texting/calling your ex. I remember seeing people do this in college and it NEVER ends well. They usually say something incredibly mean or incredibly revealing. But to be honest most breakups in college were due to cheating (anyone in college knows this is rampant amongst freshmen).

Definitely:
1. Start exercising
2. Hang out with your boys
3. Pick up a new hobby or get more serious about your work/life
4. Some dudes who are really close like best buds wouldn't mind have a friend vent their feelings about what happened and they would talk it out with you without making you feel embarrassed (usually comes with maturity so you won't find this probably until your early-mid 20s). Sometimes female perspective is good too (could even be better at times and she could help give a female perspective why she dumped you). Just make sure these people would not spill out everything you said to them to everyone else.
5. I wouldn't recommend trying to go for someone right after breaking up with someone.

Also on the side note if you're getting in a relationship with someone with a recent breakup of someone they dated for years, beware of being a rebound. I remember seeing this happen to a friend and how awkward it was when he found out what she was using him for. Try to find out about their ex by asking how serious/why they broke up.

[DCL]

The worst part is we have an apartment together and the lease doesn't expire until March, but she graduates college in December, so hopefully she bails at that point.




either move out or get her to move out.

how fun is it when she starts screaming in the other room with other dudes??

those are the kind of events that might make up you end up in the nightly news with your mug shot on tv. :oldlol:

[NBAplayoffs2001]

How do you ask a girl about their past relationships without coming off as insecure? Or is that just impossible?

[fos]

Thought I'd give a little update since things are looking up so good so fast.

Went on a date with this chick from OKCUPID. Was a little hesitant because there were only face pics. Well she shows up to coffee and she's got a nice body. She's definitely a different type than I've been with, sorta punk/hippie chick. Crazy hairdo, lots of tattoos and piercings. Have coffee and good convo, then we go to a bar down the street. She's pretty neat, moved here in July from New Mexico, was a vet tech but tried a new thing out here working with developmentally disabled adults. She invites me to go out drinking at a bar near her place later and tells me I can stay over. Go to the bar, super chill time, end up going back to her place and having sex that night. I've never had sex on a first date, so that was nice. Have sex again in the morning before leaving, amazing how good she looks wearing nothing but an over-sized white t-shirt. Go out with her again today. Go to this little craft beer place that serves amazing grilled cheese and short-rib sandwiches. Again, awesome to hang out with. Go back to her place and watch a movie with her roommate and her husband. Her roommate makes steak for dinner. Just awesome hanging with her. And then, of course, I get back home and the ex is acting weird and wants hug lol. I'm sure she's noticed the hot new girl who is my friend on facebook and liking my status updates. Guess what bitch? That ship sailed. Shouldn't have ripped my heart out, stepped on it, put it back in, and then repeat. It's crazy how fast your life can go from rock bottom to a brand new high.

[Funktion]

Thought I'd give a little update since things are looking up so good so fast.

Went on a date with this chick from OKCUPID. Was a little hesitant because there were only face pics. Well she shows up to coffee and she's got a nice body. She's definitely a different type than I've been with, sorta punk/hippie chick. Crazy hairdo, lots of tattoos and piercings. Have coffee and good convo, then we go to a bar down the street. She's pretty neat, moved here in July from New Mexico, was a vet tech but tried a new thing out here working with developmentally disabled adults. She invites me to go out drinking at a bar near her place later and tells me I can stay over. Go to the bar, super chill time, end up going back to her place and having sex that night. I've never had sex on a first date, so that was nice. Have sex again in the morning before leaving, amazing how good she looks wearing nothing but an over-sized white t-shirt. Go out with her again today. Go to this little craft beer place that serves amazing grilled cheese and short-rib sandwiches. Again, awesome to hang out with. Go back to her place and watch a movie with her roommate and her husband. Her roommate makes steak for dinner. Just awesome hanging with her. And then, of course, I get back home and the ex is acting weird and wants hug lol. I'm sure she's noticed the hot new girl who is my friend on facebook and liking my status updates. Guess what bitch? That ship sailed. Shouldn't have ripped my heart out, stepped on it, put it back in, and then repeat. It's crazy how fast your life can go from rock bottom to a brand new high.

Good for you. Don't look back, but if you like this new broad make sure you tell her everything and don't get caught up in a bunch of drama.

[Doomsday Dallas]

And then, of course, I get back home and the ex is acting weird and wants a hug lol. I'm sure she's noticed the hot new girl who is my friend on facebook and liking my status updates. Guess what bitch? That ship sailed. Shouldn't have ripped my heart out, stepped on it, put it back in, and then repeat.


The "F*ck You" approach isn't always the correct path
after a break up. If I'm still forced to see my ex girlfriend
for whatever reason, I go more for the "I don't care about
you anymore" approach.

There is a huge difference between "I dislike you" and
"I don't care for you"

Be mindful of this. Women secretly get off on your anger.
But on the flip side... if they sense that you are
emotionless about the entire breakup, and don't
have one f*ck to give about her life... it's victory.

And if you can give off the vibe of being genuinely
happier now that the relationship is over, then you
are gold.

Seems like you are doing well in this regard, so congrats.

Just trying to warn you about burning bridges.
Easy to do in the beginning of a breakup.

Maybe you want to destroy that bridge permanently,
but if a woman breaks my heart... I try to be
nice if she is being nice to me first, while maintaing
the appearance that my life is going great, and
I could care less about any of the details of hers.



It's crazy how fast your life can go from rock bottom to a brand new high.


Story of my life.

Careful... there are many ups and downs in this relationship game.

I think I've averaged a good heartbreak once every 5 years,
so I don't always celebrate when things are going good.

But there's always an exgirlfriend's number in my back
pocket because I avoid burning bridges, and I'm nice
when I should be cruel.




http://sounds.lyrics.songonlyrics.net/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/The-Break-Up-soundtrack.jpg

Good educational movie for your current situation.

[fos]

The "F*ck You" approach isn't always the correct path
after a break up. If I'm still forced to see my ex girlfriend
for whatever reason, I go more for the "I don't care about
you anymore" approach.

There is a huge difference between "I dislike you" and
"I don't care for you"

Be mindful of this. Women secretly get off on your anger.
But on the flip side... if they sense that you are
emotionless about the entire breakup, and don't
have one f*ck to give about her life... it's victory.

And if you can give off the vibe of being genuinely
happier now that the relationship is over, then you
are gold.

Seems like you are doing well in this regard, so congrats.

Just trying to warn you about burning bridges.
Easy to do in the beginning of a breakup.

Maybe you want to destroy that bridge permanently,
but if a woman breaks my heart... I try to be
nice if she is being nice to me first, while maintaing
the appearance that my life is going great, and
I could care less about any of the details of hers.





Story of my life.

Careful... there are many ups and downs in this relationship game.

I think I've averaged a good heartbreak once every 5 years,
so I don't always celebrate when things are going good.

But there's always an exgirlfriend's number in my back
pocket because I avoid burning bridges, and I'm nice
when I should be cruel.




http://sounds.lyrics.songonlyrics.net/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/The-Break-Up-soundtrack.jpg

Good educational movie for your current situation.

Yeah, that's good advice, probably best not to burn bridges, especially when I'm stuck living with her until late December at the very earliest.