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View Full Version : God shows up drunk at a party, Hillarity ensues.



gigantes
09-23-2016, 10:54 PM
https://i.ytimg.com/vi/vgk7MXWQOAM/hqdefault.jpg
Jim Jefferies - God is drunk at a party (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vgk7MXWQOAM)





(and let's not forget the most important part-- that we're all going to burn in hell because we ate a shrimp once)

fiddy
09-24-2016, 06:09 AM
:sleeping

gigantes
09-24-2016, 07:04 AM
:sleeping
that's cool; we all got different tastes.

so what you got for us, fiddy?

ArbitraryWater
09-24-2016, 07:26 AM
I watched one of his stand ups on Netflix, was it Bare? Dont know.. pretty funny actually.

StephHamann
09-24-2016, 07:38 AM
Awful

"HAHA I SAID I CUT MY MOMS TITS OFF"

:coleman:

gigantes
09-24-2016, 10:27 PM
Awful

"HAHA I SAID I CUT MY MOMS TITS OFF"

coleman
yup.

did you notice when he went on to say "i'm not willing to test it" the audience responded with relieved laughter and they were right back on his side again? IMO that's the mark of a good entertainer-- take them on a metaphorical rollercoaster ride, maybe through the haunted house in this case.

seems like most of the best comics walk a tightrope between being incredibly crude vs. profound vs. likeable. i think norm macdonald does that pretty masterfully for example... someone like louis CK sort of specialises in #1 and #3.

JEFFERSON MONEY
09-25-2016, 03:06 PM
Stay away from blaspheming. Every single one of you. This is the third time I've seen this from you gigantes. That's three time too many. Have you even offered the five daily prayers consistently? I know I haven't and once I started my peace and happiness soared.

Never ever ever despair of God's mercy. He is the Most Forgiving Most Merciful.


Abu Huraira reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “A*man suffered from thirst while he was walking on a journey. When he found a well, he climbed down into it and drank from it. Then he came out and saw a dog lolling its tongue from thirst and licking the ground. The man said: This dog has suffered thirst just as I have suffered from it. He climbed down into the well, filled his shoe with water, and caught it in his mouth as he climbed up. Then he gave the dog a drink. Allah appreciated this deed, so he forgave him.”

It was said, “O Messenger of Allah, is there a reward for charity even for the animals?” The Prophet said, “In every living being there is a reward for charity.”




Never ever lose hope in God's infinite loving mercy.
That is the second worst sin and one I'm guilt of in addition to many many more.

If you offered your five prayers, sincerely repented for sins, gave the 2.5% to charity, believed in the Oneness of God, worshipped Him alone, fasted the month of Ramadan, and gave every other human being their rights and never oppressed anyone you'd be going to Paradise.

Shrimp scampi or not.

gigantes
09-25-2016, 07:35 PM
@J$,
so you counting balls and strikes on my now, my man? well shit... good luck with all that. :D

but yeah, nah... i don't have any particular agenda for blasphemy, but sometimes i have to laugh at the ridiculosity of the human condition. i imagine most people can relate to that. i mean AFAIK, both the new testament and the quran (for example) are works of a fairly peaceful and artful nature... a lot more metaphorical than are generally taught. so what went wrong, people??

if, for example, you have a problem with the comedy piece above making fun of god's drunken loutishness or hatred of gay people, then somewhere along the line i think you missed the f-cking point. because as currently conceived by an overwhelming number of his adherents, those are in fact two of his popular aspects these days.

which makes me laugh. (amidst the tears of course)

would i be laughing like this at sects like the sufis, essenes or rosicrucians? probably not. i'd probably be too busy getting my ass kicked by the learning curve to get fixated upon any particular flaw i perceived in their workings.

now, if a christian or a muslim needed my help as far as i could provide it, then i would in fact try my best. as with anyone. because to me, it's like rogan said-- that other person over there... that's you... but a "you" that grew up in a different place, in a different time, under different circumstances, with different genetic code... but it's still you.

so that's the kind of thing that makes us all brothers. that, and the fact that we've been hard-wired for millions of years to be tribal creatures and social animals.