Do some people really stand to wipe their ass?

[Shogon]

What the **** how have I made it through my entire life without knowing this is a thing...

Who the **** stands to wipe their ass? What the ****!!!!

[FultzNationRISE]

I’m Paleo so I dont wipe at all.

If poop and run was good enough for cavemen, then it’s good enough for me.

[rufuspaul]

Five star thread

[Raymone]

Do people really sit, lean and stick their hand inside the bowl containing feces?

[Shogon]

Do people really sit, lean and stick their hand inside the bowl containing feces?

You sick ****!! You

[Draz]

I don't wipe my ass

[Bosnian Sajo]

[QUOTE=Shogon]You sick ****!! You

[qrich]

Just jump in the shower each time

[Rocket]

:wtf:

[Proctor]

Who said it was a full stand? Keep them cheeks spread, it's basically a squat.



The only reason I could see you having an issue with this is if you were obese, in which case your cheeks would be slapped together even in a squatting position.
:roll: :roll: This

Who the **** sits and wipes?

[coin24]

:roll: :roll: This

Who the **** sits and wipes?


Like you'd know diaper boy:lol

[Meticode]

I kind of halfway stand/crouch with my back like a 65 degree angle. Leaning over to one side and wiping never fully gets it done for me, and standing all the way just spreads it everywhere. Use regular toilet paper to get most of the debris. Get a wet wipe and use one or two of these until it wipes clean. Then use 3-4 squares of TP together to dry off. No dingle berries.

[Meticode]

:roll: :roll: This

Who the **** sits and wipes?
This came up on my Facebook a year or so ago before I deleted it, but apparently most people claim to sit and wipe. It was like 70%+. out of thousands of people. I know women do it, but I've always kind of halfway stood/crouched over to get a good wiping angle personally.

[egokiller]

The bigger question is what's up with these nasty fvcks taking a shit at workplaces first thing in the morning when they arrive? You couldn't take a shit at home? I work at my home office but sometimes I go into the office for a meeting and prior to heading up on the elevator, I sometimes stop at the bathroom on the lobby floor to take a piss. There's almost always someone in one of the 3 stalls taking a shit. :oldlol:

[Shogon]

The bigger question is what's up with these nasty fvcks taking a shit at workplaces first thing in the morning when they arrive? You couldn't take a shit at home? I work at my home office but sometimes I go into the office for a meeting and prior to heading up on the elevator, I sometimes stop at the bathroom on the lobby floor to take a piss. There's almost always someone in one of the 3 stalls taking a shit. :oldlol:

Some people have really poor diets and lifestyles... probably can

[Meticode]

The bigger question is what's up with these nasty fvcks taking a shit at workplaces first thing in the morning when they arrive? You couldn't take a shit at home? I work at my home office but sometimes I go into the office for a meeting and prior to heading up on the elevator, I sometimes stop at the bathroom on the lobby floor to take a piss. There's almost always someone in one of the 3 stalls taking a shit. :oldlol:
Some people have regularly schedules and they can't control it. 95 percent of the time for me I don't take a crap until right when I get home from work. Every once in a while I might go in the middle of the work day, but I looked this up and it has something to do with feeling comfortable in your surroundings. I'll pull up at home, walk up to the door, won't have the urge to pee or shit. Unlock the door, walk through, get the smell of my home in my system and within 5-10 seconds of walking through my door I pee, poop or both every single time after work. But 1 minute prior I have no urge too. And I don't get him at the exact same time every day. Sometimes I'm a hour early or late.

...but one guy I worked with years ago was clocking in, and taking a 15 minute shit every single day he worked on the clock. I'd come in usually about 5 minutes after him and like clockwork you'd see his feet in the bathroom stall in the locker-room. Another co-worker and I were bored and we calculated out a conservative estimate and estimated that the company we worked for was paying him roughly $950+ a year just to take a shit at LEAST 15 minutes every day. We estimate the number was probably closer to $1100-$1400 a year, but we weren't sure how many PTO days he had a year, days he called in sick, etc. Plus we weren't even counting if he took a second shit while on the clock because we know sometimes that happened as well.

What I hate. Are people that go to lunch...and they do this regularly...they clock out, go to lunch, they're gone for 45 minutes, eat, smoke, whatever...clock back in, get back out to work, then while on the clock 10 minutes later go and take a 10 minute plus shit. It irks the shit out of me. I know you can't control it sometimes, but some people do it regularly, and they have the choice to just take their lunch 10 minutes later if they want so they can do it on lunch.

[Meticode]

[QUOTE=Shogon]Some people have really poor diets and lifestyles... probably can

[Proctor]

The bigger question is what's up with these nasty fvcks taking a shit at workplaces first thing in the morning when they arrive? You couldn't take a shit at home? I work at my home office but sometimes I go into the office for a meeting and prior to heading up on the elevator, I sometimes stop at the bathroom on the lobby floor to take a piss. There's almost always someone in one of the 3 stalls taking a shit. :oldlol:
Yes :lol

This would make me miserable

[Norcaliblunt]

Do you wipe if you are immediately jumping in the shower after you shit?

[Patrick Chewing]

How does one wipe sitting down? And how do you know once you're clean?

[tpols]

This came up on my Facebook a year or so ago before I deleted it, but apparently most people claim to sit and wipe. It was like 70%+. out of thousands of people. I know women do it, but I've always kind of halfway stood/crouched over to get a good wiping angle personally.


i think i sit for the first few wipes and semi stand for the last one. seems like an optimal strategy.

[Long Duck Dong]

i think i sit for the first few wipes and semi stand for the last one. seems like an optimal strategy.

I semi stand for the first few and stand for the last one so I can really get in there after spitting on the tissue. But I prefer to shit at home and jump immediately in the shower. Doesn't feel right shitting and not taking a shower which is why I've probably taken a shit while working maybe only a dozen times this year.

This thread is very informative. I never knew men wiped their ass like a woman sitting down. :confusedshrug:

Then again, this is probably the first time in my decades on earth someone has brought this up. :oldlol:

[tpols]

I semi stand for the first few and stand for the last one so I can really get in there after spitting on the tissue. But I prefer to shit at home and jump immediately in the shower. Doesn't feel right shitting and not taking a shower which is why I've probably taken a shit while working maybe only a dozen times this year.

This thread is very informative. I never knew men wiped their ass like a woman sitting down. :confusedshrug:

Then again, this is probably the first time in my decades on earth someone has brought this up. :oldlol:


:biggums:

you're a sick ****

[diamenz]

i always lean forward for the first wipe to be sure there's no leftover turd hanging off of me. then i stand up, squat down and wipe deep. sometimes i stick my finger in there just for fun! then i squat back down and finish with a baby wipe so im good and clean for any rimming i might receive that day.

[AirBonner]

Only men with tiny penises can wipe sitting down. Big dick men have to stand

[egokiller]

Only men with tiny penises can wipe sitting down. Big dick men have to stand

This. Who the fvck sits down when taking a shit yet alone wiping? Personally I don't like toilet bowl water touching the top of my lengthy snake while taking a shit so I stoop over the toilet instead of sitting on it.

[diamenz]

rare fact: biggie took shits in the shower.

"I got nines in the bedroom, Glocks in the kitchen
A shotty by the shower if you wanna shoot me while I'm shittin'"

[Shogon]

lol @ all these nasty ****s that stand up to wipe. Holy shit.

[enayes]

Some people have regularly schedules and they can't control it. 95 percent of the time for me I don't take a crap until right when I get home from work. Every once in a while I might go in the middle of the work day, but I looked this up and it has something to do with feeling comfortable in your surroundings. I'll pull up at home, walk up to the door, won't have the urge to pee or shit. Unlock the door, walk through, get the smell of my home in my system and within 5-10 seconds of walking through my door I pee, poop or both every single time after work. But 1 minute prior I have no urge too. And I don't get him at the exact same time every day. Sometimes I'm a hour early or late.

...but one guy I worked with years ago was clocking in, and taking a 15 minute shit every single day he worked on the clock. I'd come in usually about 5 minutes after him and like clockwork you'd see his feet in the bathroom stall in the locker-room. Another co-worker and I were bored and we calculated out a conservative estimate and estimated that the company we worked for was paying him roughly $950+ a year just to take a shit at LEAST 15 minutes every day. We estimate the number was probably closer to $1100-$1400 a year, but we weren't sure how many PTO days he had a year, days he called in sick, etc. Plus we weren't even counting if he took a second shit while on the clock because we know sometimes that happened as well.

What I hate. Are people that go to lunch...and they do this regularly...they clock out, go to lunch, they're gone for 45 minutes, eat, smoke, whatever...clock back in, get back out to work, then while on the clock 10 minutes later go and take a 10 minute plus shit. It irks the shit out of me. I know you can't control it sometimes, but some people do it regularly, and they have the choice to just take their lunch 10 minutes later if they want so they can do it on lunch.

:oldlol: :oldlol:

what's wrong with shitting on the clock?

a favorite of my co-workers (USPS carriers) is to shit while on PENALTY time (double your hourly rate) this occurs when we work over 10 hours a day or 48 hours in a week :pimp:

[egokiller]

:oldlol: :oldlol:

what's wrong with shitting on the clock?

a favorite of my co-workers (USPS carriers) is to shit while on PENALTY time (double your hourly rate) this occurs when we work over 10 hours a day or 48 hours in a week :pimp:

:lol

Which is why I prefer UPS and FedEx deliveries over snail mail.

[enayes]

:lol

Which is why I prefer UPS and FedEx deliveries over snail mail.

We (USPS) have access to secure buildings/can open locked doors.

We are the safest bet for parcel delivery.

If you live in a single family home in a nice neighborhood than it's all the same, but if you live in a locked/secure complex or apt building, USPS is the gold standard.

UPS/Fedex are forced to leave a notice or simply leave your package on the sidewalk/other unsafe location, while USPS carriers can open every locked door we encounter and leave your parcel safely inside.

[egokiller]

We (USPS) have access to secure buildings/can open locked doors.

We are the safest bet for parcel delivery.

If you live in a single family home in a nice neighborhood than it's all the same, but if you live in a locked/secure complex or apt building, USPS is the gold standard.

UPS/Fedex are forced to leave a notice or simply leave your package on the sidewalk/other unsafe location, while USPS carriers can open every locked door we encounter and leave your parcel safely inside.

I hear ya, but I fall under this category. For bigger shipments, UPS/FedEx all day but if a package qualifies for USPS first class, nothing beats that shipping cost.

[enayes]

I hear ya, but I fall under this category. For bigger shipments, UPS/FedEx all day but if a package qualifies for USPS first class, nothing beats that shipping cost.

Overall the other guys have to work harder than us. Delivering HEAVY boxes all day is brutal, and they tend to move pretty fast. We deliver a ton of Amazon packages right now but at least I still get to leisurely walk the streets of my city with a handful of letters.

[Jasper]

I stand and have my maid whip me , I don't like washing my hands.

[macmac]

I stand and have my maid whip me , I don't like washing my hands.

Wait, so your maid is a dominatrix and you

[stalkerforlife]

Sometimes, yes.

I randomly wipe my ass throughout the day, regardless if I pooped or not.

I don't ever want to smell like ass.

[Lebron23]

We wash it with soap here.

[coin24]

We wash it with soap here.


splash back from the pit toilet?

[diamenz]

is no one familiar with the three seashell method?

[Lebron23]

splash back from the pit toilet? I'll knock you out, and $hit in your mouth.

[Bosnian Sajo]

The bigger question is what's up with these nasty fvcks taking a shit at workplaces first thing in the morning when they arrive? You couldn't take a shit at home? I work at my home office but sometimes I go into the office for a meeting and prior to heading up on the elevator, I sometimes stop at the bathroom on the lobby floor to take a piss. There's almost always someone in one of the 3 stalls taking a shit. :oldlol:


I'm a victim of this. Sometimes I'll be lucky enough to be able to shit at home, but I have a 1hr commute and I don't usually take a shit RIGHT out of bed lmfao. Piss yea, for sure...but it takes an hour or so for my biological clock to tell me it's time to poop.


If I go sploosh in the morning I wont in the afternoon, and vice versa. 8hr shift, lunch, 1hr drive to and +1hr from...that's 11hrs totes. Best believe Ima poop at least once during that time frame.

[Bosnian Sajo]

...but one guy I worked with years ago was clocking in, and taking a 15 minute shit every single day he worked on the clock. I'd come in usually about 5 minutes after him and like clockwork you'd see his feet in the bathroom stall in the locker-room. Another co-worker and I were bored and we calculated out a conservative estimate and estimated that the company we worked for was paying him roughly $950+ a year just to take a shit at LEAST 15 minutes every day. We estimate the number was probably closer to $1100-$1400 a year, but we weren't sure how many PTO days he had a year, days he called in sick, etc. Plus we weren't even counting if he took a second shit while on the clock because we know sometimes that happened as well.




I just wanted you to know that I legit laughed out loud once I got to the part where you were calculating how much the company paid for this man to shit :oldlol:


I mean that's classic office comedy. It's so true, though. Sometimes I'll be in the stall smirking thinking "these mfers really paying me to take a shit" :lol


This is why we went to college, folks. So that we could get paid while taking a deuce.

[Bosnian Sajo]

I semi stand for the first few and stand for the last one so I can really get in there after spitting on the tissue. But I prefer to shit at home and jump immediately in the shower. Doesn't feel right shitting and not taking a shower which is why I've probably taken a shit while working maybe only a dozen times this year.

This thread is very informative. I never knew men wiped their ass like a woman sitting down. :confusedshrug:

Then again, this is probably the first time in my decades on earth someone has brought this up. :oldlol:


:roll: :roll: :roll:

I'm dying, folks. I guarantee most of the people in the hallway think I'm a psycho for sitting alone in my office cracking up. You are an ape, dude :lol

[Bosnian Sajo]

is no one familiar with the three seashell method?


I'm listening.

[highwhey]

I'll knock you out, and $hit in your mouth.
:roll:

[Bosnian Sajo]

I'll knock you out, and $hit in your mouth.


No need to bring Asian fetishes up in here..

[coin24]

I'll knock you out, and $hit in your mouth.


Lol at this angry little manlet:lol we've all seen you 5'1" you'd have to jump to punch anyone:roll:

[Jasper]

:oldlol: [QUOTE=macmac]Wait, so your maid is a dominatrix and you

[Derka]

This is one of the most ridiculous threads I've ever seen here and that's saying something :roll:

[Shogon]

This is one of the most ridiculous threads I've ever seen here and that's saying something :roll:

Ridiculous as in... you're an awkward stand upper and you think that shit is normal or..

Ridiculous as in... you can't believe people stand up.

Because if it's the former, you yourself are ridiculous.

People who stand up to wipe are literally sub human.

[Norcaliblunt]

The key is to eat healthy enough to where when you shit you dont have to wipe. It comes out smooth no mess. This should actually be how you evaluate your health.

[Long Duck Dong]

:biggums:

you're a sick ****

:confusedshrug:

Helps the tissue clean out better and adds a little lubrication. I got an asshole like sandpaper, leaves bits of paper stuck in there if I don't spit a lil lube.

[Overdrive]

Only men with tiny penises can wipe sitting down. Big dick men have to stand

I use tp to hold my dick back while pooping so it doesn't hit the bowl while hanging in and ofc you take your off hand to pull it up if you wipe sitting down. Actually a bigger dick helps here.

[diamenz]

The key is to eat healthy enough to where when you shit you dont have to wipe. It comes out smooth no mess. This should actually be how you evaluate your health.

this is true. or if you're a gay, your turds pretty much just fall out when you bend over.

[highwhey]

if you're a gay, your turds pretty much just fall out when you bend over.
@patrickchewing

[Proctor]

I use tp to hold my dick back while pooping so it doesn't hit the bowl while hanging in and ofc you take your off hand to pull it up if you wipe sitting down. Actually a bigger dick helps here.
https://i.pinimg.com/originals/21/83/39/2183390c33417d017eaed6a53d80fb64.gif


Ridiculous as in... you're an awkward stand upper and you think that shit is normal or..

Ridiculous as in... you can't believe people stand up.

Because if it's the former, you yourself are ridiculous.

People who stand up to wipe are literally sub human.
And if you sit down to wipe, you're probably a woman.

[Lebron23]

Lol at this angry little manlet:lol we've all seen you 5'1" you'd have to jump to punch anyone:roll:
I am taller than you 20four. Legit 5'9 without shoes. 5'10 in sneakers. You are just as tall as your door knob. Speaking of wiping butt. That is your job.

[coin24]

I am taller than you 20four. Legit 5'9 without shoes. 5'10 in sneakers. You are just as tall as your door knob. Speaking of wiping butt. That is your job.


Under 6'0 isn't a man:roll: :roll:

Now wipe those toilets spotless

[FKAri]

:confusedshrug:

Helps the tissue clean out better and adds a little lubrication. I got an asshole like sandpaper, leaves bits of paper stuck in there if I don't spit a lil lube.
https://media1.tenor.com/images/19ef9a8760b08f67d016a7789ae75d07/tenor.gif

[Long Duck Dong]

https://media1.tenor.com/images/19ef9a8760b08f67d016a7789ae75d07/tenor.gif

:lol

The whole process of shitting is nasty. Don't come in here and act all shocked and disgusted.

I feel like I know everyone who posted in this thread a little better now. I think a wise man once said, If you know how a man shits, he's that much closer to becoming your brother. :cheers:

...or maybe not

[Meticode]

https://i.makeagif.com/media/8-03-2015/lJEtjG.gif

[Meticode]

I just wanted you to know that I legit laughed out loud once I got to the part where you were calculating how much the company paid for this man to shit :oldlol:


I mean that's classic office comedy. It's so true, though. Sometimes I'll be in the stall smirking thinking "these mfers really paying me to take a shit" :lol


This is why we went to college, folks. So that we could get paid while taking a deuce.
I mean, I don't have an issue with someone taking a shit on the clock here and there. Sometimes you need to, and sometimes you just need a mental break. We're all human, but damn these ****ers be doing it every single day, clock in and do it right away.

**** one day the guy I was talking about went into the bathroom stall, locked the door...5 seconds later unlocked the door, went into the hallway to clock in, then went back into the bathroom stall. Meanwhile you got guys that get bitched at for being 5 minute late from lunch, but it's okay to take 15 minute shits every day on the clock. :oldlol: