The official BOOK of the NBA Finals!?

[FultzNationRISE]

Believe it or not... yes!

I just checked with the NBA sponsorship registry, and the partnership is still available. So I'm claiming it!

Fellas: this is the OFFICIAL BOOK OF THE NBA FINALS!


:basketball https://i.ibb.co/PG7spLB/Rise-Cover.jpg :basketball


https://www.amazon.com/dp/B097XFSZ5G



https://www.amazon.com/dp/B097XFSZ5G

We did it, boys.


:djparty

[FultzNationRISE]

Don't worry, I'm not shy about posting excerpts. For instance, did you know Hubie Brown mode gets ACTIVATED in this book?


The way Viper Room is set up is that the door facing Sunset Blvd is essentially a ‘side’ entrance, used by performers and road crews to load and unload equipment. Mainly because that doorway leads immediately to the stage inside. [WARNING: HUBIE BROWN MODE ACTIVATED] Now, watch this, this is really something: A van can pull up to the front, ok, and quickly carry all their equipment onto the stage, mainly because there’s great proximity between the van and the stage. Well, you say well can’t just anyone walk in that door? Now, of course we know they can’t, mainly because the club keeps a bouncer by this entrance to make sure unauthorized persons don’t slip in, see. You’ve got your inside people communicating easily with your outside people, and the result is an effective transition game. Now, that’s just terrific. Give these guys a lot of credit, okay, that’s really special.

[MODE: DEACTIVATED]

So, with all that said - and said as Hubie Brown - the Sunset entrance is still the easier point of access for a discreet breeching. The “main” entrance on Larrabee is where you’ve got the chick with the notebook, plus a bouncer, plus another employee in the vestibule behind them collecting the cover, plus a line of onlookers waiting to get in. A bottleneck too treacherous for executing an inconspicuous ingress.

I decided the operation required some scouting. Across the street I observed a small Italian kitchen named Panini, the window of which advertised pizza by the slice. I crossed to the other side of Sunset and walked into the restaurant. Suavely approaching the counter - flicking a quarter in the air for visual effect - I double pumped my shoulders and said “I’ll take two slices of pepperoni.”

The detour afforded me the opportunity to objectively assess the Viper Room’s primary access points at a distance, while also eating pizza.

https://media.giphy.com/media/10C9FTx6VYkATu/giphy.gif

[FultzNationRISE]

I decided I had to keep walking right past the building and not even look in; just act like a pedestrian passing on my way to somewhere else. At least preserve anonymity for the time being while I reassessed.

Then, abruptly, as I passed the door and felt the light and the heat from inside, I decided **** that. I turned and walked inside, passing the inward facing bouncer, lightly clasping my hands on his upper arms as I squeezed by, giving him a pretend-familiar pat. I shouted in the direction of the van behind me, which nobody was even standing near anymore, “Great seeing you, Evan! I’ll see you guys in St. Paul next month!”

In an instant I was in; but not home free yet. I could feel the bouncer analyzing the back of me. Trying to figure out if I was legit or some audacious bullshitter. But he didn’t have much time. Now it was his moment to make a move, or forever eat shit. If he waited too long, I might start talking to important people just as he questioned me. You gotta understand that in Hollywood, nobody wants to make the mistake of not recognizing someone they’re supposed to recognize, and feeling like a shlub if I have to dress him down in front of other VIPeeps.

This was the only moment. A battle of wits, a one-fall cage match between his nads and mine.

Though he stood behind me, I sensed his thought and mannerisms. He froze when I walked by, trying to quickly evaluate the situation and how to react. Then took a couple steps in pursuit just in case he decided to pull me over. But he was hesitating. I stepped sprightly to keep distance, without ducking or juking blatantly like Captain Obvious. Just as he put a hand up – an instinctive prelude to calling my attention – I shouted toward the back of the bar and raised my own arm in a sign of greeting:

“Terry! Hey! Meet me at Jessica’s table in 10 minutes, I’ve got good news for you and bad news for Interscope!”

While announcing this I was actually looking at a blender on a shelf in the corner behind the bar. But it was sufficient. The bouncer hesitated again, losing more ground, enabling me to create a final separation. I worked my way into the protection of the crowd and made a beeline for the bathroom, where I would awkwardly crouch amongst urinating strangers until the doorman went back to his post.

God, it was smooth.

Upon coming out of the bathroom five minutes later and heading to the bar, I was astonished to recognize the man now taking the stage.

And who do you think that guy was??

MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY.

The Marshall Man himself, I swear to God.

I was like: “MCCONAUGHEY!”

“MCCONNNNAAUUGGHHEYYYYYY!!!!!!”

Evidently, he was the guest MC for the evening. HUGE!

It got me totally ****ing psyched! More confirmation that I was RIGHT to relocate cross country with no plan. First night out and already a celeb sighting. I was hanging at the same spot as an A-list Guy!

(It should be noted this was during the lull in his career when he was “RomCom” McConaughey. Not “A Time to Kill” McConaughey, but “How To Lose A Guy in 10 Days” McConaughey. The pretty-boy typecast. The audience of hipster-punks at Viper Room were hardly frenzied by his presence. But I was stoked on sheer principle).

By the time I ordered a Guinness and turned back ‘round, he’d announced the next band and hopped off stage. It’s a pretty small venue with the audience pit immediately in front of the stage, and the bar immediately behind the audience pit. Along the right side wall I saw a few small, discreet booths blocked off for bottle service.

I counted maybe four or five of them along the wall between the bar and – oh shit! – P!NK was posted up in one of the booths!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHOAAAA.

Another celebrity!? Just sitting there in the booth with a few of her peeps like it aint no thang!? This shit was off the CLAMP!

What’s more, and I know you’re not gonna believe me, but I SWEAR TO YOU Pink gave me a serious hardcore once-over. Like, GRINDED on me with her eyes. Looked me alllllll the way up and down.

And she LIKED what she saw.

Not even tryin to brag. Just sayin. Me and Pink absolutely had an eye****, and she did NOT make me wrap up the jimmy first. I impregnated her mind, right then and there, in front of everyone. Real talk.

You think I’m bullshitting but I’m not. Alls I got in this world is my word and my balls - and I’ll give em both to you straight with no bullshit. Trust.

It was a missed opportunity, frankly. She was with a guy who I think was her fiancé at the time, and a few hangers-on. In hindsight I should have just walked up to the booth and wagged my front tail in all their faces, and told everyone but Pank to get lost. To this day it’s arguably the biggest regret of my life. A potentially destiny-changing opportunity to be a TRUE Alphonso, but I missed it.

I vowed at that moment I would never be not alpha again.

But can you imagine if I’d have ended up with her? Instead of Rising To The Top Of The Middle Part of the Bottom Third in Hollywood, I’d have immediately rose to the Bottom Part Of The Top Third. What a crazy alteration of the timeline it would have been to become Mr. Pink.

Granted, Mr. Pink sounds like Mr. P*ssy, but… with Steve Buscemi having laid the groundwork, I think I could have really taken it places.



https://media.tenor.com/images/7b0e9d5f4107352819dab2618debabf8/tenor.gif

[Im Still Ballin]

:applause:

Great stuff.

I really like how you write, man. You've got this "Tolkien-esque" way with which you describe things. You're really good at worldbuilding -- setting the stage, so that our imaginations can run wild like Hulkamania!

It's really impressive dude.

[FultzNationRISE]

:applause:

Great stuff.

I really like how you write, man. You've got this "Tolkien-esque" way with which you describe things. You're really good at worldbuilding -- setting the stage, so that our imaginations can run wild like Hulkamania!

It's really impressive dude.


Thanks, BROTHERRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!

[theman93]

tldr

[Axe]

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8KkbvseAIxM