why is life so unfair?

[KobesOneUglyTat]

nothing is more unfair then life itself, why is it this way? is there a purpose? it it a system designed to build resiliancy in the human race, making us stronger as the centuries pass by?

[geeWiz15]

To make life worth living.

If everyone went your way what would be the point?

[VCDrivesAPorscheToWork]

Life is as fair as you make it.


Lower your expectations and you'll find its plenty fair.

[KobesOneUglyTat]

geewiz thank you for bringing a whole new dimension to the discussion. it is a given that life will be tough for everyone at certain points, but keep in mind those who are better looking/smarter/wittier etc have a huge advantage over their less pretty and talented counterparts.

given this, what is your opinion on the unfairness of your life vs. someone you envy, as opposed the the general unfairness of life itself-which you already touched on.

[mlh1981]

The best way to approach life is to take things one day at a time. It sounds so cliche, but it's true. It's very easy to look into the future and get overwhelmed by everything. Just take things as the come, but at the same time, be aggressive when you need to.

[geeWiz15]

given this, what is your opinion on the unfairness of your life vs. someone you envy, as opposed the the general unfairness of life itself-which you already touched on.
When you have a disadvantage, and you get what you want anyway, it makes it all that much sweeter. That's why people you view as "lucky" actually aren't so lucky. When everything comes easy to someone and they don't know what it's like to earn anything, they don't get the good feelings associated with it.

Life is what you make it.. period. If you just take what the universe gives you you're a gigantic pansy.

[KobesOneUglyTat]

life is what you make it, the question is what assets do YOU have to make it all that it can be? some have more than others, but often they can be very subtle assets, like patience or dry wit.

[mlh1981]

Life is as fair as you make it.


Lower your expectations and you'll find its plenty fair.


I don't know if LOWERING your expectations is the answer. I think having REALISTIC expectations is the key. Example: I don't have much money right now, so I can't go off and buy air jordan's. Instead, I buy the new Marburys. It's really not a big deal because I'm in my mid 20s and could care less about shoes, but since I needed a pair, I got what I could afford. It's being realistic

Also, I know that I cannot wine/dine a woman of upper-middle class status. I feel as if I have the right personality/sense of humor/intelligence to talk to anyone, but right now, I'm prob. better off "looking" for someone closer to my socio-economic status. This should change as I get older, get a real job, and make more money and have higher status, but right now, I am limited in my options and being realistic. In fact, I would rather remain single, because the pool of women around here aren't very desireable.

[mlh1981]

When you have a disadvantage, and you get what you want anyway, it makes it all that much sweeter. That's why people you view as "lucky" actually aren't so lucky. When everything comes easy to someone and they don't know what it's like to earn anything, they don't get the good feelings associated with it.

Life is what you make it.. period. If you just take what the universe gives you you're a gigantic pansy.

Great point. It's called the "victim mentality." Many people feel powerless, and are used to being exploited. They don't know any other way. They feel as if they have no control, so they say "f uck it," and are bitter people who drive away their friends and never succeed in relationships.

[Agent_Zero]

Life isn't fair. My parents are both doctors, very successful, we have two nice cars, a movie theater in our house. Sounds nice, right?

My sister died a couple months after she was born. And my brother is severely disabled. He is in a wheelchair. He cannot walk, talk, do anything. We carry him up to his room. So I guess, even though I have money, cars, a nice house, I would give it all up for my siblings in a heart beat.

[mlh1981]

People spend their whole lives working their @sses off to get ahead, oftentimes putting family/friends off to the side. Noone on their death bed ever says "geez, I wish I had spent more time in the office"

Conclusion: Life is about the relationships that you build with your family and the people around you. Work? At the MOST, it makes up about 35-40 years of your life. Work hard and succeed, but don't let it define you. Be defined what what kind of person you are to those closest to you.

[gts]

Life isn't fair. My parents are both doctors, very successful, we have two nice cars, a movie theater in our house. Sounds nice, right?

My sister died a couple months after she was born. And my brother is severely disabled. He is in a wheelchair. He cannot walk, talk, do anything. We carry him up to his room. So I guess, even though I have money, cars, a nice house, I would give it all up for my siblings in a heart beat.exactly life has it's twists and turns for everyone sooner or latter... my step daughter is mentally delayed, beautiful girl (literally) great heart, yet she will never be able to do so many things many of us take for granted... i really bask in the sunshine of her daily victories, little things that most 10 years olds can do are a chore for her, yet she has a iron will that keeps her going... this week the other night we finally got jump rope down... she made 12 skips... not a big deal to some but a reason for celebration at our house

[geeWiz15]

the question is what assets do YOU have to make it all that it can be? some have more than others, but often they can be very subtle assets, like patience or dry wit.
Are you asking me personally what my advantages are in this world?

I guess my ability to focus and be at my best when it matters the most. Then you've got IQ. Then you've got analytical ability. Then you've got my intrinsic locus of control (forgive the psych term, it means I believe I control my fate, it's the only word I can think of that accurately describes it). Then you've got objectivity. And I'm good with words. Those are my strengths I guess. I use those qualities to offset my weaknesses, of which there are a heck of a lot.

I believe everyone has the traits to get all they need out of life. Not everyone can become famous, or at the top of their field, but everyone has the ability born in them to completely fulfill themselves. Step one I guess is figuring out what you need in life to feel fulfilled. And step two obviously is going out and getting there. One of MY weaknesses is figuring out what I need in life to feel fulfilled. :oldlol:

Some people, no matter how hard they work will never advance beyond the service industry, and others even things like construction. Luckily people like this don't feel the need to succeed. Then there are people that are very shallow, and cannot form meaningful relationships with others. Luckily, they will never feel like they're missing out on anything. Nature's generous that way. We all have a set of goals laid out for us and the tools to reach them. It's up to us to do so.

[jstern]

When you have a disadvantage, and you get what you want anyway, it makes it all that much sweeter. That's why people you view as "lucky" actually aren't so lucky. When everything comes easy to someone and they don't know what it's like to earn anything, they don't get the good feelings associated with it.

Life is what you make it.. period. If you just take what the universe gives you you're a gigantic pansy.

High IQ post from a 17 year old. I wonder why he was banned.


Life isn't fair. My parents are both doctors, very successful, we have two nice cars, a movie theater in our house. Sounds nice, right?

My sister died a couple months after she was born. And my brother is severely disabled. He is in a wheelchair. He cannot walk, talk, do anything. We carry him up to his room. So I guess, even though I have money, cars, a nice house, I would give it all up for my siblings in a heart beat.

It's interesting from a reincarnation point of view, the possible good and bad from your family's situation. With your brother being disabled, unable to talk, and in a wheelchair, it gives you a better perspective about what to value, and an understanding of the pain of others. Which is beneficial, and would be growth for many future lives, but at the same time, it's a current horror.

We currently have this guy in this forum who's also in a wheelchair. His name is Simon, but we call him wheels.

[Jasper]

in generalization i will make a couple of statements.

I am retired, but from 18-26 young adults brain is coming to completion in maturity.
It is a struggle for everyone to find your self as well as find your way in society.

patience is the key.

BUT I can not stress that while a individual is going through this period , you find a job that you want to do for life.
It will give you security , insurance , and vacations.
I don't care if you love pushing a broom if that is what you love to do , DO IT.
---------------
I had some trying times, as well as depression , and I was thinking a lot.
Broke up with another girlfriend and it was effecting my job.
Went to a shrink and he said instead of thinking of 12 things think of 3-4 things. (NEVER LOOKED back)

My point is the brain needs to complete development , but you have to start
your adult life while this is going on.
My generation , most married at this time ,as well as kids, and thinking of buying a home. (That is a lot to put on a young adult)
I would not want to do it now , the pressure is eminence.
(That is why I believe school shooting occur, because the kids can't handle the pressure)

[fiddy]

Purpose of life is to suffer, god has a twisted sense of humor.

[bladefd]

Purpose of life is to suffer, god has a twisted sense of humor.

...if a God does exist, and we are not certain of that.

It's better to live life as if there is no God so you don't feel disappointed or overwhelmed when you face severe adversity in your journey of life. That's how I live with the understanding that there is no heaven or reincarnation or God or karma. Just live life as if it was one shot. Make the best of it and treat others with kindness. Do have some ethics and follow morals because it's better to live with honor & have people respect you than to live with malice & hatred in your heart.

Life is not always fair, but take it day-by-day, moment-by-moment. Do the best you can because that's all you can do. Appreciate what you can, but there will be lemons along the road. Be ready for them, and don't let them bring you to your knees. You have to keep moving forward, no matter what it takes. Keep moving forward.

[highwhey]

it just is :(

[Manny98]

Not everyone can be a good looking and as intelligent as me :(

[HylianNightmare]

Life is as fair as you make it.


Lower your expectations and you'll find its plenty fair.
Tried that still bummed every day

[JEFFERSON MONEY]

Justice will be rendered on the Day of Reckoning.

[JEFFERSON MONEY]

Purpose of life is to suffer, god has a twisted sense of humor.

So we go through tests in this life.

To get fine steel you must turn up the heat.
Likewise to attain good righteous character you have to be tested in uncomfortable situations.

Depending on how we do in this life we either go to Jannah or Jahannam

[JEFFERSON MONEY]

...if a God does exist, and we are not certain of that.

I'm not going to get into a heated debate. I will present some points and you are free to consider, or continue to reject as you have been doing.


There are men/women on this Earth who are absolutely sure of the existence of the Necessary Being that is the Creator of the Universe, the Lord of All the Worlds.


Even children can look at something like a pencil, see that there needs to be a manufacturer to keep in order--and realize that pencil is nothing compared to the creation of the trees, people, skies, planets, and magnificent creations all around us.


Here's a link that discusses this issue.
https://www.seekersguidance.org/articles/general-artices/why-islam-is-true-e03-necessary-being/

But it is not the lack of proof that is blocking you from believing.

It's the condition of your heart. If you can find the strength to fight against your own self, and work hard to attain humility (which means realizing that whatever good you've done is not of your own doing) and ask for forgiveness, and to let go of all the preconceived false notions you had about God from before--and really search and pray and search for answers and pray and search for answers and pray --you'll be able to be in a much, much better condition bi-idhnillah.


But it's a hard battle. It takes effort as you are fighting against your worst enemy--your own self.

. That's why I'm grateful Muslims have to put our head on the ground minimum of about 36 times a day, realizing we are low and that the Creator is Great. Keeps us humble and protected from our arrogant tyrannical egos usurping the throne and taking credit or ownership of things that are not ours.



It's better to live life as if there is no God so you don't feel disappointed or overwhelmed when you face severe adversity in your journey of life.

A more resourceful/accurate perspective is to perceive life as a series of tests given to you by God/Allah, and that when disaster strikes, you can always call upon God/Allah for help. You can always call upon God/Allah for your needs. Hence, why Muslims make d'ua many times a day. And any adversity/calamity/disaster is ultimately good for the human, because it reminds one of their own weakness, mortality, dependence on their Creator--and reminds them what their real mission on earth is. To worship Him.

Moreover, a much, much more empowering belief than what you mentioned is the gift of a strong faith in the Hereafter. A promise made by God in all the Scriptures. By placing our heart's hopes and yearnings for the eternal life after death, it is less harming if things don't go how we want them to go in Dunya (worldly life).

Note: Atheists come with the argument that Hereafter is a "coping mechanism" for death.
Actually, what's truer is that the denial of the Afterlife is a "coping mechanism" from thinking about the consequences of transgression--that is the Inferno of Hell.

If you can recognize the fact that the Universe is several billion years old, and that it's constructed in a way with order and precision (look at the distance from the sun and earth) and is magnificent and awe-inspiring--then you can attest to the Creator of this universe having the power to sustain it and easily create another realm.



That's how I live with the understanding that there is no heaven or reincarnation or God or karma.

"With the understanding?" That's a very, very strange and undeservedly dignifying way of validating disbelief.




Just live life as if it was one shot.

This sense of urgency is crucial---BUT if things don't go your way a BELIEF IN THE HEREAFTER brings much comfort to the heart and that's where you can get that which you truly desire.



Make the best of it and treat others with kindness. Do have some ethics and follow morals because it's better to live with honor & have people respect you than to live with malice & hatred in your heart.

This advice is not only completely aligned with the teachings of religion, but so important that there are SPECIFIC prayers to remove ghilal (malice) in the 59th Chapter of the Qu'ran. Kindness, high morals, and honor are so well demonstrated by the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH), and critical components of a happy human being, happy human family, and happy human society.



Life is not always fair,

There is some level of justice and certain laws to follow---but ultimate perfect justice will be rendered on The Day of Qayyamah.



but take it day-by-day, moment-by-moment.

Good advice. This attitude aligns with the virtue of patience.



Do the best you can because that's all you can do.

Correct. But with prayer, you can beseech The Almighty for far, far, far, far more. Allah has the power to do anything.



Appreciate what you can, but there will be lemons along the road. Be ready for them, and don't let them bring you to your knees. You have to keep moving forward, no matter what it takes. Keep moving forward.

This is a patient and persevering attitude. No disagreements.

[tpols]

Because everything is different mate.

Just do you mate.

[Jasper]

I'm not sure he wanted a religious education(.)

[fiddy]

...if a God does exist, and we are not certain of that.

It's better to live life as if there is no God so you don't feel disappointed or overwhelmed when you face severe adversity in your journey of life. That's how I live with the understanding that there is no heaven or reincarnation or God or karma. Just live life as if it was one shot. Make the best of it and treat others with kindness. Do have some ethics and follow morals because it's better to live with honor & have people respect you than to live with malice & hatred in your heart.

Life is not always fair, but take it day-by-day, moment-by-moment. Do the best you can because that's all you can do. Appreciate what you can, but there will be lemons along the road. Be ready for them, and don't let them bring you to your knees. You have to keep moving forward, no matter what it takes. Keep moving forward.
What is the best?

[bladefd]

What is the best?

Your best is whatever it is that will bring you peace. Try hard to not worry in life or feel anxiety. Do what you are able to and to the best of your abilities mentally/physically whatever it is. Don't ever give up and don't get so anxious that you lose your sense of being & inner peace. Without inner peace, you have nothing, and with nothing, you have nothing to live for. You have to keep moving forward with a sense of purpose that is moderate so you have to do whatever you can to maintain that sense of purpose.

I admit, it's not easy to do by any means. Some days are difficult to get by for each of us every once in a while. But just do what you can to avoid that feeling.

[bladefd]

But it is not the lack of proof that is blocking you from believing.

It's the condition of your heart. If you can find the strength to fight against your own self, and work hard to attain humility (which means realizing that whatever good you've done is not of your own doing) and ask for forgiveness, and to let go of all the preconceived false notions you had about God from before--and really search and pray and search for answers and pray and search for answers and pray --you'll be able to be in a much, much better condition bi-idhnillah.


But it's a hard battle. It takes effort as you are fighting against your worst enemy--your own self.

. That's why I'm grateful Muslims have to put our head on the ground minimum of about 36 times a day, realizing we are low and that the Creator is Great. Keeps us humble and protected from our arrogant tyrannical egos usurping the throne and taking credit or ownership of things that are not ours.

My humility lies with humanity and the essence of life. I don't need forgiveness because the way I live my life speaks for itself. I wish to be judged on my merits and how I lived my life, nothing else matters. If being a non-believer leads me to hell, so be it.

I don't need to battle my self or anyone, and I don't need to punish myself over and over again for doing nothing wrong to anyone. Just live life, following ethics & morals. Everything else will take care of itself. If an all-powerful God exists and is just, he/she/it will take one look at me & know everything about me including how I lived my life. Judge me on that, and nothing more, nothing less.



A more resourceful/accurate perspective is to perceive life as a series of tests given to you by God/Allah, and that when disaster strikes, you can always call upon God/Allah for help. You can always call upon God/Allah for your needs. Hence, why Muslims make d'ua many times a day. And any adversity/calamity/disaster is ultimately good for the human, because it reminds one of their own weakness, mortality, dependence on their Creator--and reminds them what their real mission on earth is. To worship Him.

Moreover, a much, much more empowering belief than what you mentioned is the gift of a strong faith in the Hereafter. A promise made by God in all the Scriptures. By placing our heart's hopes and yearnings for the eternal life after death, it is less harming if things don't go how we want them to go in Dunya (worldly life).

Note: Atheists come with the argument that Hereafter is a "coping mechanism" for death.
Actually, what's truer is that the denial of the Afterlife is a "coping mechanism" from thinking about the consequences of transgression--that is the Inferno of Hell.

If you can recognize the fact that the Universe is several billion years old, and that it's constructed in a way with order and precision (look at the distance from the sun and earth) and is magnificent and awe-inspiring--then you can attest to the Creator of this universe having the power to sustain it and easily create another realm.

More accurate? By what means?

Trouble strikes every day and people pray every day, calling upon God for help. Where is God? In 1942, innocent women and kids were being thrown into massive showers, forced to take off all clothes, gassed unconscious then burned in massive ovens. They prayed for God, but where was God then? Nazi officers often forcefully pulled out women and young girls they wanted then violently raped them as they begged, prayed and cried for help that never came. Where was this God then as these women were being raped at extermination camps then discarded like ragdolls into the gas showers to die?

What about innocent women and children at Hiroshima/Nagasaki as the atom bombs incinerated hundreds of thousands? Where was God then? What about Vietnam when the Communist Viet Cong rolled in destroying and pillaging entire villages, raping whoever they wanted? They raped little 11-12 year old girls, quite a few cases where these poor girls were left impregnated through violent rapes by multiple soldiers. Where was the power of this vaunted prayer then and where was this all-helpful God?

Where has God been?

You talk about the laws of physics being of order and precision.. Why does it need to be made by someone?



"With the understanding?" That's a very, very strange and undeservedly dignifying way of validating disbelief.

You misunderstood. You can substitute out “with the understanding” with “with the belief” or “with the thought” for more neutral connotation.


This sense of urgency is crucial---BUT if things don't go your way a BELIEF IN THE HEREAFTER brings much comfort to the heart and that's where you can get that which you truly desire.

Life doesn't always go your way or the way you foresaw. So what? You don't need to be comforted. Get used to it because life goes on, as my History teacher used to say.

[MJ(Mean John)]

I know this and this only.

Money may NOT make you happy, in of itself, however, it helps. lol meaning, money assists you in removing you from things that make you unhappy.
you gotta pay a fine, you're unhappy because you lose money.
you gotta pay bills, again, unhappy because you lose money.
Getting ripped off, paying taxes, interest, working a crap job, gotta go to school, get training, etc you name it. If you had money to the point where you no longer had to worry about it, it would eliminate many of your problems.

now, obvs, I'm not saying Money=happiness, because it doesn't.

However, it helps a situation, always.

Being Person A with NO money will always be worse than
Being Person A with Money.

Same exact life, same exact situation, life experiences, etc.



with that said, all the money in the world never once bought a single second of time.