"Deeper Meaning of Liff" - A dictionary of words that don't exist (but should)

[B][U]S (cont...)[/U][/B]

SPITTAL OF GLENSHEE (n) That which has to be cleaned off castle floors in the
morning after a bagpipe contest or vampire attack.


SPOFFARD (n) A congressman whose contribution to politics is limited
to saying "Hear, hear."


SPOFFORTH (v) To tidy up a room before the cleaning lady arrives.


SPOKANE (v) To remove precious object from a room before a party.


SPREAKLEY (adj) Irritatingly cheerful in the morning.


SPROSTON GREEN (n) The violent colour of one of Nigel Rees

[B][U]T[/U][/B]

TABLEY SUPERIOR (n) The look directed at you in a theatre bar in the interval
by people who

[B][U]U[/U][/B]

UDINE (adj) Not susceptible to charm.


UGGLEBARNY (n) The ponytail affected by a middle-aged balding man.


ULLAPOOL (n) The spittle which builds up on the floor of the Royal
Opera House.


ULLINGSWICK (n) An over-developed epiglottis found in middle-aged
coloraturas.


ULLOCK (n) The correct name for either of the deaf Scandinavian
tourists who are standing two abreast in front of you on the escalator.


ULTING (ptcpl. v) Yawning to unpop the ears.


UMBERLEIGH (n) The awful moment which follows a dorchester (q.v.) when a
speaker weighs up whether to repeat an amusing remark after
nobody laughed the last time. To be on the horns of an
umberleigh is to wonder whether people didn

[B][U]Y[/U][/B]

YADDLETHORPE (v) (Of offended pooves.) To exit huffily from a boutique.


YALARDY (n) An illness which you know you