Least Athletic person you've ever played with?

Who's the least the least athletic person you've ever played with? Pretty simple just describe them and why they are such, take age into account I am not talking about a 45 year old who's way past his prime, I am talking guys who should be at least be able to do somethings.
The person for me would be my brothers, brother in law, he is legit 6'7 and like 20 years old yet can only occasionally dunk, he's maybe dunked 2 times in game both on wide open fast breaks, the 3 times hes tried to dunk on me I just jumped in the way and only finished one of them that bounced around the rim for like 5 seconds, and he says he didn't want to hurt me even though he wouldn't.
I am like 6' and 3/4 barefoot 140, and 18 years old, and I have blocked so many layup attempts by him at the top of his jump its not even funny.

One of the worst all-time was a dude who was probably about 17-years-old. I taught him in summer school one year. I remember one time catching him on the computer asking Jeeves what Lil' Wayne's phone number was.

Anyway, I think he showed up to an open gym one time in boots during the winter. That's a no-go, so he willingly "played" in his socks. I have no idea how and why this ever happened - it was unprecedented. We had nine real players going hard and then him.

The situation was probably best summed up when he happened upon an outlet pass beyond half-court. There was only one defender back and I was filling a lane. It was an easy "Pass & Bucket" situation. I figured even he could figure this one out. But I caught this look in his eye and according to people on the sidelines I said "Oh Jesus..." out loud. He then attempted a three-pointer from 27 feet away, missing high and to the right. It literally sailed over the backboard.

Then he asked one of our coaches for a ride home. He said he lived nearby. Took the coach 40 minutes to get him to his house.

And yeah, I know it sounds like he's just lacking in awareness but I assure you, there were some athletic deficits there too.

[QUOTE=Rake2204]One of the worst all-time was a dude who was probably about 17-years-old. I taught him in summer school one year. I remember one time catching him on the computer asking Jeeves what Lil' Wayne's phone number was.

Anyway, I think he showed up to an open gym one time in boots during the winter. That's a no-go, so he willingly "played" in his socks. I have no idea how and why this ever happened - it was unprecedented. We had nine real players going hard and then him.

The situation was probably best summed up when he happened upon an outlet pass beyond half-court. There was only one defender back and I was filling a lane. It was an easy "Pass & Bucket" situation. I figured even he could figure this one out. But I caught this look in his eye and according to people on the sidelines I said "Oh Jesus..." out loud. He then attempted a three-pointer from 27 feet away, missing high and to the right. It literally sailed over the backboard.

Then he asked one of our coaches for a ride home. He said he lived nearby. Took the coach 40 minutes to get him to his house.

And yeah, I know it sounds like he's just lacking in awareness but I assure you, there were some athletic deficits there too.[/QUOTE]
Sounds like everything has deficits for him

[QUOTE=Rake2204]Anyway, I think he showed up to an open gym one time in boots during the winter. That's a no-go, so he willingly "played" in his socks.[/QUOTE]

I'll never criticize any ones choice of footwear to play after i got beaten in game of of 21 against a filo wearing thongs/slippers. Dude had a made post game!

[QUOTE=Ai2death]I'll never criticize any ones choice of footwear to play after i got beaten in game of of 21 against a filo wearing thongs/slippers. Dude had a made post game![/QUOTE]Haha, awesome.

How about girls? We played with this girl we threw a slow bounce pass and she missed catching it...three times and then she tripped and fell.

My little cousins friend. He was about 6 foot tall, black kid. Not meant to invoke race, but factually they tend to be more athletic. However, this kid was just uncoordinated, couldnt jump over a snail, slow. He had some weight on him, but he wasnt fat by any means. It seemed he lacked confidence on the court and he wasnt able to think clearly. Like, I dont know if he was uncoordinated as much as just feeling socially awkward. When the ball came to him he was worried so much about screwing up that he would lose it.

I always tried to help him improve his game, he had a lot of potential. Really smart kid and when you built up his confidence, he could nail open jumpers. But he didnt love basketball and quit playing last summer.

I knew a guy in HS that was 6'9" that had a hard time dunking. The best he was able to do was do some hybrid layup-then-grab-rim thing. We were 15 or 16 so I'm sure he grew some more and eventually was able to pull off a clean dunk. He wasn't clumsy either. He had a nice jumper for his size and his handles was decent for a dude that big. He wasn't really strong. He was stronger than us just from his size, but he was pretty weak pound per pound.

Worst I seen was a guy that was trying to inbound the ball in a pick up game. We had all his players covered and he couldn't get the ball in. He started sweating and was so focused on not f'ing up the inbound pass that he tripped over his own feet behind the sideline and smacked his chin on the court. Ball rolls out of his hands, we scoop it up and score. It was great.

Lots of random guys you play in pick up games. Short hispanic kids with no athletic ability whatsoever. But in a real game I was the tallest guy on my team that day at only 6'1" and their center was like 6'9". Good thing he was not very athletic. I'm not tall but I have long arms and had some athletic ability. He could barely jump with his size and he was really slow. But when he got me inside we had to double him.

Hilarious topic.


When I was in College, I used to play ball (5 v 5) with one of my Economics professors. He was in his early 70's, 5'8", skinny as a rail. He pretty much just jogged back and forth and camped in the corner for 3's.

guy at my sunday night scrimmage has a bum knee and can barely dribble. he's somewhat of an athlete though so his coordination is reasonable.

he hits bank shots from 15 feet like its nobody's business.

plus he's just a super nice guy.

[QUOTE=bdreason]Hilarious topic.


When I was in College, I used to play ball (5 v 5) with one of my Economics professors. He was in his early 70's, 5'8", skinny as a rail. He pretty much just jogged back and forth and camped in the corner for 3's.[/QUOTE]
too funny. at the local uni they play noon hoops every weekday at the gym. the guy who started it is a 65 year old sociology professor named herb who is exactly as you described, but can't shoot. its really competitive ball except for like half a dozen of these old guys who are varying levels of useful.

Probably me. I had one of the lower verticals at my gym. The majority of the people who played with us could touch the rim easily but not dunk. I couldn't do either. I could only get halfway up the net.

[QUOTE=Ai2death]I'll never criticize any ones choice of footwear to play after i got beaten in game of of 21 against a filo wearing thongs/slippers. Dude had a made post game![/QUOTE]

One of the best players I ever played with used to come on the courts and destroy everyone with sandals and jeans.

At a former company I worked for they decided to build an outdoor basketball court on site. We had a regular group of guys that would play at lunch at the local req league and when we got the news that we would no longer have to travel off site (more time to play) we were thrilled.

So naturally there were some guys that decided they would come out and play who were not part of the normal crew, who had never played with us before.

The head of the IT department (some overweight 6'1, 320-330 lb guy without an athletic bone in his body) decides he's going to play. He pulls his hamstring on the very first play, and was then out of work for 2 weeks. :facepalm

When I was a kid (probably about 10 years old) we had this obese kid on our team one season. Everyone had to get minutes at that age so the coach told him to literally just stand under our rim and not bother trying to be up the right end of the court on defence. The problem was he had the slowest reflexes I've ever seen, you would literally grab a rebound on defence toss the ball down the court to him under the basket wide open and he'd miss the ball and get hit in the face or stomach and it'd go out of bounds. It was hilarious and infuriating at the same time.