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-   -   Is anybody else at a crossroads in life right now? (http://www.insidehoops.com/forum/showthread.php?t=304230)

Scholar 06-18-2013 08:23 PM

Is anybody else at a crossroads in life right now?
 
WARNING: This is verging into tl;dr territory. If you'd rather skip this and just want to discuss your own situation, whether past or present, go right ahead. The actual thread question is at the bottom in red colored font.

Back in January of 2012, I decided to take between 6-12 months off from school in order to work full-time. I make a couple grand per month at my job, albeit while working over 60 hrs per week, and at the time, it seemed like a great amount of money.

I had just finished my AA degree in Social & Behavioral Sciences at a community college. I was planning on transferring over to a university after working for ~1 year.

January 2013 rolled by and I realized I spent a year not doing shit with my life. I worked all the time, spent all my money on dumb shit, only had a small amount of money saved in my savings account, etc., so I stuck with what I was doing. I figured I wasn't ready just yet to devote myself full-time to education again.
I began working out a lot because I work as a security guard, and I still think if I'm in pretty good shape, I can advance in this career by looking for jobs at other companies, where maybe my physique will be important. :confusedshrug:

I've always wanted to be a cop. I thought my security experience would help me in that regard, but I recently visited some cop forums where I was informed that due to my past mistake, odds are that I will be overlooked at every police academy I attempt to enroll in.

Anyway, now I'm stuck. I was under the impression that working for a year (now deep into my 18th month out of college) would let me get my feet planted, but it's done the complete opposite. I don't know what I want to do with my life.

This might sound pathetic to some of you, but it's a real ordeal for me at the moment. I'm 23. I know of people from my high school who are already done with their Bachelor's Degree programs or close to it, a few of them travelling out of the country to experience life/further education, one of them is advancing into PhD territory, and my best friend has finally finished his AA degree after putting it off for a long time and is moving out of state to attend a university.

I'm not stupid either. I averaged a 3.2 GPA throughout college, which isn't impressive, but that's coming from someone who NEVER studied, smoked weed before practically every class, and worked long hours everyday. I also took and passed Advanced Placement classes in high school, but I used to mess around back then a bit too much, which explains why I found myself attending a community college instead of a university like everyone else who attended those classes with me.

My Social & Behavioral Sciences AA degree isn't worth shit. It's basically a Sociology degree. I don't know why I went for it. I feel stupid for that. It doesn't lead to any worthwhile jobs. Advancing further into it (as in, getting a Bachelor's in S&B Sciences) wouldn't result in very high paying jobs...

BTW, quitting my 60 hrs+ per week job is out of the question. I'm not capable of finding a higher paying job. Before this job, I was working for minimum wage. This current job might as well be minimum wage, but it's ALMOST a guaranteed job; therefore, I can't get myself to look for something else, knowing that most security companies are like advanced temp agencies. They need you when there's work, let go of you if there isn't any. Fuck that.

I know I can't keep putting it off because I have people who rely on me for a living (most specifically, my kid), but I just feel like I'm fucked. It's either I keep working these long, shitty hours and try to put off at least taking online courses for a while longer or I immediately enroll in an online course without actually knowing what I want out of life.

*sigh* At this point, I'm just ranting about my life. How about you guys? Anybody else in a situation where you're not sure what you want out of life? Or for those who were in a position similar to this but eventually found a way out, how'd you do it?

The Macho Man 06-18-2013 08:32 PM

Re: Is anybody else at a crossroads in life right now?
 
You have a wife and kid right?

niko 06-18-2013 08:35 PM

Re: Is anybody else at a crossroads in life right now?
 
First of all none of this is stupid. Second, you are not "****ed". You will more than likely be temporarily ****ed. Keep working if you have a family and kids. They come first. So you can't just quit and do something else.

Next, find someone you can talk to, a career counselor maybe? Look for things you'd do as if you were unemployed. Then make a plan. There are some jobs that start off shitty (like you say now) but long term will work out better.

How about a city job? If you are going to work long hours for little pay city jobs have much better benefits.

And note: It sounds like you are not trying to be a cop because people told you that you can't. Until you try and fail i don't get assuming you failed.

And one last thing: drop the weed. People who are not achieving what they need to in life don't need weed.

Lamar Doom 06-18-2013 08:42 PM

Re: Is anybody else at a crossroads in life right now?
 
you're 23 years old dude, relax. you have no idea how young that is and worrying that you've fallen behind the socio-economic ladder game at your age is truly ridiculous. If you're not happy with your situation then make changes but I assure you that you're not a failure and you're not way behind. I'm not knocking police work but it's not like you're aspiring to be a surgeon, I don't know why you're comparing yourself to high school classmates who are working on their phd. Also who gives a f*ck what your high school classmates are doing? I understand capitalism has some inherent competition but it's really not a competition. I don't think reading "cop forums" is the way to pursue your interest in the police force either. In summation, you're tripping, it's a pretty natural part of being 23, but you're gonna be fine.

JEFFERSON MONEY 06-18-2013 08:47 PM

Re: Is anybody else at a crossroads in life right now?
 
If you're worried about wasting time during your youth, just wake up listening to Tim McGraw's "Live Like you were dying" and structure your life and experiences to do fun and fulfilling and meaningful things with your wife and daughter later on bro.

good luck.

highwhey 06-18-2013 08:52 PM

Re: Is anybody else at a crossroads in life right now?
 
its diffucult to avoid comparing yourself to your peers. especially when it seems as if eveyrone else is having some form of sucess, wether it be through graduating college or having a good job. believe me, i sit at my desk and feel frustrated because i've been too indecisive to follow through with school or acquring a better job. i've come to the realiziation that i will only move forward by setting firm goals and striving every day to achieve them. they dont have to be big, as long as there are milestones you can hit weeks or months down the road to feel that you're on path.

it sounds corny man, but you have to take whats yours and that involves affirmitive action. works when you trying to hook up with a girl right? telling her u like her wont work, instead you go for the kiss.

i'm a big f*ck up, and am still in a place where i dread everyday but im working towards getting a better and more stable job, and this serves as a "light at the end of the tunnel" type of thing. plus, i've been enjoying spending time with my family...somehting i never did before. it seems that your siblings and parents can inspire the greatest motivation/determination in you.

Jailblazers7 06-18-2013 08:54 PM

Re: Is anybody else at a crossroads in life right now?
 
I would seriously evaluate what you are passionate about and research ways to make a living with them. If you want to be a police officer, then put your effort into that.

Don't back yourself into an imaginary corner tho because your options are far more plentiful than you would imagine. There are a shocking amount of different profession you can work in and just because something doesn't have a traditional educational path or societal value doesn't mean it isn't a possible alternative.

ace23 06-18-2013 08:55 PM

Re: Is anybody else at a crossroads in life right now?
 
What is the "mistake" that cost you a job as an officer?

L.Kizzle 06-18-2013 08:59 PM

Re: Is anybody else at a crossroads in life right now?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by ace23
What is the "mistake" that cost you a job as an officer?

Stacey Coon.

Just2McFly 06-18-2013 09:08 PM

Re: Is anybody else at a crossroads in life right now?
 
Scholar, I am at a crossroads as well. The stress is killing me.

CeltsGarlic 06-18-2013 09:11 PM

Re: Is anybody else at a crossroads in life right now?
 
not at crossroad, but basically have to do much work to get shit right.

Scholar 06-18-2013 10:28 PM

Re: Is anybody else at a crossroads in life right now?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by ace23
What is the "mistake" that cost you a job as an officer?


I figured someone would get too curious and want to know. :oldlol:

In 2009, I got busted for possession of marijuana. It was less than 2 grams but the cops gave me a ticket anyway. The fine was just $109, but the charge was registered as a misdemeanor on my record.
In 2011, I applied for police training at my local police department and they told me that my possession of marijuana charge was potentially going to hold me back. I was recommended to keep myself crime-free and apply again in the near future.
Recently, I looked into it again on police forums, where real cops post, and they told me that my possession charge, though not serious, would affect my chances negatively. They informed me that I'd be competing against other candidates who don't even have so much as a speeding ticket on their record.
Lastly, because I had smoked for the last time (at the time) on Feb 18th, 2013, I was told that f*cked me up even more. Apparently, you have to be drug-free for a specific period of time. Most police departments expect a minimum of 3 yrs.

In short, I decided becoming a cop wasn't happening for me.

Edit: Not because I enjoy weed (I don't care for it much anymore) but because I know waiting another 3+ yrs while sitting on my ass isn't cutting it. I'd rather spend those 3 yrs striving towards a real career & not one where I'll forever be treated differently because of a pathetic charge on my record.

Thanks to everyone who responded. This site really does have some great members. You just have to look passed the plethora of garbage posters to find them but they're there.

Stuckey 06-19-2013 02:03 AM

Re: Is anybody else at a crossroads in life right now?
 
I'm working a shitty part time job which has nothing to do with my career path

However, I'm building up my career (teaching) slowly with 12 students now

not sure what kind of job I should be getting considering I make 2+ times more teaching privately than at some school agency.

In addition, getting a position in the public sector for teaching is super competitive and might not be worth my time but I need them benefits damnit.

Stressed out too.

Rolando 06-19-2013 04:35 AM

Re: Is anybody else at a crossroads in life right now?
 
Don't listen to the people who are telling you that you can't do something. These guys on the police forum can go screw themselves. Give it a try anyway. You have nothing to lose.

sundizz 06-19-2013 07:12 AM

Re: Is anybody else at a crossroads in life right now?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Scholar
I figured someone would get too curious and want to know. :oldlol:

In 2009, I got busted for possession of marijuana. It was less than 2 grams but the cops gave me a ticket anyway. The fine was just $109, but the charge was registered as a misdemeanor on my record.
In 2011, I applied for police training at my local police department and they told me that my possession of marijuana charge was potentially going to hold me back. I was recommended to keep myself crime-free and apply again in the near future.
Recently, I looked into it again on police forums, where real cops post, and they told me that my possession charge, though not serious, would affect my chances negatively. They informed me that I'd be competing against other candidates who don't even have so much as a speeding ticket on their record.
Lastly, because I had smoked for the last time (at the time) on Feb 18th, 2013, I was told that f*cked me up even more. Apparently, you have to be drug-free for a specific period of time. Most police departments expect a minimum of 3 yrs.

In short, I decided becoming a cop wasn't happening for me.

Edit: Not because I enjoy weed (I don't care for it much anymore) but because I know waiting another 3+ yrs while sitting on my ass isn't cutting it. I'd rather spend those 3 yrs striving towards a real career & not one where I'll forever be treated differently because of a pathetic charge on my record.

Thanks to everyone who responded. This site really does have some great members. You just have to look passed the plethora of garbage posters to find them but they're there.


Don't be a cop. There are a ton of other opportunities out there. Why are you so fixated on becoming a cop? Aren't there a ton of other jobs that are 'cop' like without actually being a cop?


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