Originally Posted by RidonKs
exactly. and i feel a million times better as a result. but for that week and a half, between finding out that she was actively dating somebody not named me and having the conversation that solidified my worst fears, i literally drove myself up the wall. every second i was awake, i wanted to think of her. never went through any sorta obsession like that before in my life, i actually had to build a psychological barrier with a few chosen topics where every time she popped into my head, i'd mentally hop tracks over to something else lol
funniest part about it was the way finally spilling all the beans actually came along; we were walking away from work about to go our separate ways, she asked me why i had been so quiet that night at work, i said (very obviously) "you probably aren't the right one to talk to about it"... and she immediately understood. but then her next words were "btw, i wanted to apologize to you for last sunday night, i should have told you". and in my retarded head, trying to use ANYTHING to convince me she was into me, the first thought was "shit, she's apologizing not for accidentally leading me on but because SHES LOVED ME THE WHOLE TIME FINALLY EVERYTHING IS WORKING OUT!"
the one thing i learned was that the mind can interpret anything in a way preferable to the loins, truths get stretched, bias selects evidence, and the rest of the situation gets buried so deep you forget the mountains of contradictory facts that should have brought you to the right conclusion in the first place
anyway, i'm still a little heartsick, but nothing a new love interest won't let me overcome... hopefully that comes along soon, i've never been much for just 'picking up'.
but enough about me... you didn't answer so i'll reiterate... you don't think you could plow on through the awkwardness, talk to her up front about it, just normalize shit through sheer power of will.... on the chance it goes bad? with full knowledge of the potential for uber happiness if everything works out like a romcom?
I'm not worried about my ability to handle the situation, but this girl may turn out to be an absolute nutjob once we get involved. I tend to attract those types. And people talk. There are those I work with who would frown upon me using the staff as a hunting grounds. Those are my main concerns.
How would an up front conversation about that go? That's not really my style either. In this instance we both know each other pretty well so I suppose there could be some sort of graceful way to address the topic of workplace relationships ahead of time. Experience just makes me shy away from that. Nothing gets you friend-zoned faster than telling a girl you like her, you have to show her. She is very career oriented so for all I know she has the same reservations if not more. And of course, there's no way to discuss the possibility of her being batshit.
Anyway, my buddy called me a bitch over this whole situation earlier and I'm starting to agree. I need to just make a move already or decide to leave it alone because of the risks instead of theorizing potential outcomes, good or bad. Making a move is going to be hell of a lot easier than trying to reprogram my brain. And **** romcoms, that type of pipedream shit is what has me considering this in the first place.