Re: Team mates attitude
If you're afraid of confrontation and making things worse with your teammates, I recommend positive reaffirmation. Some people respond best when someone's straight up with them, meaning if they're arguing with a ref, they need to hear someone say, "Dude, shut up and play some defense". More often, I think teammates respond better to positive re-directions. Things like, "We're alright, let's get another stop." Or, "We're good, we're good. Let's play through this." Recognize the issue, overcome.
On the flip side, I understand how the arguing may annoy you, but how does it destroy your confidence? It's not as if they're arguing with you directly about your game.