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Old 03-18-2013, 06:52 AM   #6
Faptastrophe
Rivalries Never Die
 
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: LV
Posts: 3,574
Default Re: Haha @ The Holy Bible

That book is filled with funny stuff.

You can look up the full verses here.

1 Corinthians 11:14 (Men should not have long hair)
1 Corinthians 14:34-35 (Women should remain silent in church)
Deuteronomy 13:6-16 (Death penalty for Apostasy)
Deuteronomy 20:10-14 (Attack city, kill all men, keep women, children as spoils of war)
Deuteronomy 21:18-21 (Death penalty for a rebellious son)
Deuteronomy 22:19-25 (Kill non-virgin/kill adulterers/rapists)
Deuteronomy 22:28-29 (Pay virgin’s parents for raping her)
Ecclesiastes 1:18 (Knowledge is bad)
Exodus 21:1-7 (Rules for buying slaves)
Exodus 35:2 (Death for working on the Sabbath)
Ezekiel 9:5-6 (Murder women/children)
Ezekiel 23:19-20 (A whore who had sex with men hung like donkeys)
Galatians 5:2-4 (If you are circumcised, Christ has nothing for you)
Genesis 1:3,4,5,11,12,16 (God creates light, night and day, plants grow, before creating sun)
Genesis 3:16 (Man shall rule over woman)
Jeremiah 19:9 (Cannibalism)
John 3:18 (He who believes in Jesus is saved, he that doesn’t is condemned)
John 5:46-47 (Jesus references Old Testament)
1 Kings 7:23 (Pi equals 3)
Leviticus 3:1-17 (Procedure for animal sacrifice)
Leviticus 19:19 (No mixed fabrics in clothing)
Leviticus 19:27 (Don’t trim hair or beard)
Leviticus 19:28 (No tattoos)
Leviticus 20:9 (Death for cursing father or mother)
Leviticus 20:10 (Death for adultery)
Leviticus 20:13 (Death for gay men)
Leviticus 20:15 (Death for bestiality)
Leviticus 20:18 (No sex with a woman on her period)
Leviticus 21:17-23 (Ugly people, lame, dwarfs, not welcome on altar)
Leviticus 25:45 (Strangers can be bought as slaves)
Luke 12:33 (Sell your possessions, and give to the poor)
Luke 14:26 (You must hate your family and yourself to follow Jesus)
Mark 10:11-12 (Leaving your spouse for another is adultery)
Mark 10:21-22 (Sell your possessions and give to the poor)
Mark 10:24-25 (Next to impossible for rich to get into heaven)
Mark 16:15-16 (Those who hear the gospel and don’t believe go to hell)
Matthew 5:17-19 (Jesus says he has come to enforce the laws of the Old Testament)
Matthew 6:5-6 (Pray in secret)
Matthew 6:18 (Fast for Lent in secret)
Matthew 9:12 (The healthy don’t need a doctor, the sick do)
Matthew 10:34-37 (Jesus comes with sword, turns families against each other, those that love family more than him are not worthy)
Matthew 12:30 (If you’re not with Jesus, you’re against him)
Matthew 15:4 (Death for not honouring your father and mother)
Matthew 22:29 (Jesus references Old Testament)
Matthew 24:37 (Jesus references Old Testament)
Numbers 14:18 (Following generations blamed for the sins of previous ones)
Psalms 137:9 (Violence against children)
Revelation 6:13 (The stars fell to earth like figs)
Revelation 21:8 (Unbelievers, among others, go to hell)
1 Timothy 2:11-12 (Women subordinate and must remain silent)
1 Timothy 5:8 (If you don’t provide for your family, you are an infidel)
Zechariah 14:2 (Women ravished when city is taken in battle)
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