Re: I feel like an idiot
i really like honesty and courage, which is why i really liked your post.
i've been FZ'd many times, but never had to suffer watching another man (or good friend) pick up the ball and score with it. that's fkin devastating. you definitely got my brotherly affection for that whole mess.
strategies? hmm... first basic thing that comes to mind is to pull away from both of them. protect your health and your sanity first and foremost, always always and always. pull away from them until you come up with better strategies for dealing for the time being.
i might come up with more, later. although i don't know you well, so that necessarily limits any advice i can give.
ISH can be full of errant, random, self-directed advice on topics such as this, which is always why it's good to put yourself in their shoes as fully as possible before opening your pie hole. you know.