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Old 06-18-2013, 07:23 PM   #1
Scholar
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Default Is anybody else at a crossroads in life right now?

WARNING: This is verging into tl;dr territory. If you'd rather skip this and just want to discuss your own situation, whether past or present, go right ahead. The actual thread question is at the bottom in red colored font.

Back in January of 2012, I decided to take between 6-12 months off from school in order to work full-time. I make a couple grand per month at my job, albeit while working over 60 hrs per week, and at the time, it seemed like a great amount of money.

I had just finished my AA degree in Social & Behavioral Sciences at a community college. I was planning on transferring over to a university after working for ~1 year.

January 2013 rolled by and I realized I spent a year not doing shit with my life. I worked all the time, spent all my money on dumb shit, only had a small amount of money saved in my savings account, etc., so I stuck with what I was doing. I figured I wasn't ready just yet to devote myself full-time to education again.
I began working out a lot because I work as a security guard, and I still think if I'm in pretty good shape, I can advance in this career by looking for jobs at other companies, where maybe my physique will be important.

I've always wanted to be a cop. I thought my security experience would help me in that regard, but I recently visited some cop forums where I was informed that due to my past mistake, odds are that I will be overlooked at every police academy I attempt to enroll in.

Anyway, now I'm stuck. I was under the impression that working for a year (now deep into my 18th month out of college) would let me get my feet planted, but it's done the complete opposite. I don't know what I want to do with my life.

This might sound pathetic to some of you, but it's a real ordeal for me at the moment. I'm 23. I know of people from my high school who are already done with their Bachelor's Degree programs or close to it, a few of them travelling out of the country to experience life/further education, one of them is advancing into PhD territory, and my best friend has finally finished his AA degree after putting it off for a long time and is moving out of state to attend a university.

I'm not stupid either. I averaged a 3.2 GPA throughout college, which isn't impressive, but that's coming from someone who NEVER studied, smoked weed before practically every class, and worked long hours everyday. I also took and passed Advanced Placement classes in high school, but I used to mess around back then a bit too much, which explains why I found myself attending a community college instead of a university like everyone else who attended those classes with me.

My Social & Behavioral Sciences AA degree isn't worth shit. It's basically a Sociology degree. I don't know why I went for it. I feel stupid for that. It doesn't lead to any worthwhile jobs. Advancing further into it (as in, getting a Bachelor's in S&B Sciences) wouldn't result in very high paying jobs...

BTW, quitting my 60 hrs+ per week job is out of the question. I'm not capable of finding a higher paying job. Before this job, I was working for minimum wage. This current job might as well be minimum wage, but it's ALMOST a guaranteed job; therefore, I can't get myself to look for something else, knowing that most security companies are like advanced temp agencies. They need you when there's work, let go of you if there isn't any. Fuck that.

I know I can't keep putting it off because I have people who rely on me for a living (most specifically, my kid), but I just feel like I'm fucked. It's either I keep working these long, shitty hours and try to put off at least taking online courses for a while longer or I immediately enroll in an online course without actually knowing what I want out of life.

*sigh* At this point, I'm just ranting about my life. How about you guys? Anybody else in a situation where you're not sure what you want out of life? Or for those who were in a position similar to this but eventually found a way out, how'd you do it?
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