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  1. #1
    The Renaissance man bladefd's Avatar
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    Default Feeling insecure about aging?

    I don't know if it's just me, but I have become insecure about aging in last few years. I am still a college student, but whenever I think about getting old, it brings me down. When I think about family members and others around me getting older, I get annoyed. I know aging is a part of life and it is the present that is most important.. Age is just a number and it's about making the best out of the years you're around not the number of years. I understand all that very well, but there are some insecurities that are tough to extinguish for whatever reasons.

    Considering all that, how do you deal with aging? Does it bring you down at times that we all only have x number of years?

    How do you appreciate and make special each moment? I feel annoyed at times with how our memories work too - we forget most details of a fond memory and only remember certain things (excluding very few rare people with photographic memory). How do you truly appreciate a moment if you know that you will NOT be able to recall MOST of the minute details of that moment 10-15+ years down the line?

    Inspire away!

  2. #2
    College superstar JMT's Avatar
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    Default Re: Feeling insecure about aging?

    At 40 I was diagnosed with a fatal and incurable disorder. At 49 I had said goodbye to my family and friends and was fully prepared to die.

    Weeks later I received the double lung transplant that saved my life.

    In the 5 years since I've married the love of my life, completed a triathlon, climbed to 12,000 feet, swam competitively vs "healthy" people, etc. I've spent my time traveling the country increasing awareness of Alpha-1, the disorder which almost took my life, along with organ and tissue donation. I've made a bigger difference in more lives in the last 5 than I did the first 49 combined.

    Even before all that, I found that life doesn't begin to have any real meaning until you're in your 30s or 40s. Everything up til then is child's play. Not to say you don't face obstacles and challenges, but they're not as meaningful nor as rewarding as those to come.

    life is what you make of it. Not time, circumstance, luck or age. You. Treat each day as if it might be your last... because it might. That's how you get the most out of life, regardless of age.

  3. #3
    the Sho Kosugi of ISH -p.tiddy-'s Avatar
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    Default Re: Feeling insecure about aging?

    Even before all that, I found that life doesn't begin to have any real meaning until you're in your 30s or 40s. Everything up til then is child's play.
    I agree with this for the most part...for me it was all "fun and games" so to speak up until around 33 or so...having a something threaten your life will open up your eyes quickly of course

    I'm just going to be honest, I'm 35 right now, and it really pisses me off that I have to die one day...when I think about it, I get depressed. I'm approaching the middle of my life if I live to 80, and that is no given...death is much closer than it seems even. It upsets me that my loved ones will die...I don't want them to, I know death is part of life but it is impossible for me to like that part.

    I'm a theist even...I fully 100% believe in an after life...and death still depresses me.

    I hope that I become more accepting of it later on...but as of right now, it's a real bummer

  4. #4
    College superstar JMT's Avatar
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    Default Re: Feeling insecure about aging?

    Quote Originally Posted by -p.tiddy-
    I agree with this for the most part...for me it was all "fun and games" so to speak up until around 33 or so...having a something threaten your life will open up your eyes quickly of course

    I'm just going to be honest, I'm 35 right now, and it really pisses me off that I have to die one day...when I think about it, I get depressed. I'm approaching the middle of my life if I live to 80, and that is no given...death is much closer than it seems even. It upsets me that my loved ones will die...I don't want them to, I know death is part of life but it is impossible for me to like that part.

    I'm a theist even...I fully 100% believe in an after life...and death still depresses me.

    I hope that I become more accepting of it later on...but as of right now, it's a real bummer

    I don't think anyone, regardless of their views re the afterlife, wants to or is looking forward to dying. But within most parameters, we can't control that. What we can control is the quality of our life, each and every day.

    Man, I've never had more to live for than I do right now. I'll go kicking and screaming. But in the meantime, I appreciate each and every day.

  5. #5
    NBA Legend and Hall of Famer Myth's Avatar
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    Default Re: Feeling insecure about aging?

    Quote Originally Posted by JMT
    At 40 I was diagnosed with a fatal and incurable disorder. At 49 I had said goodbye to my family and friends and was fully prepared to die.

    Weeks later I received the double lung transplant that saved my life.

    In the 5 years since I've married the love of my life, completed a triathlon, climbed to 12,000 feet, swam competitively vs "healthy" people, etc. I've spent my time traveling the country increasing awareness of Alpha-1, the disorder which almost took my life, along with organ and tissue donation. I've made a bigger difference in more lives in the last 5 than I did the first 49 combined.

    Even before all that, I found that life doesn't begin to have any real meaning until you're in your 30s or 40s. Everything up til then is child's play. Not to say you don't face obstacles and challenges, but they're not as meaningful nor as rewarding as those to come.

    life is what you make of it. Not time, circumstance, luck or age. You. Treat each day as if it might be your last... because it might. That's how you get the most out of life, regardless of age.


    I'm younger, but I'm 100% on board with what you are saying.

  6. #6
    the Sho Kosugi of ISH -p.tiddy-'s Avatar
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    Default Re: Feeling insecure about aging?

    Quote Originally Posted by JMT
    I don't think anyone, regardless of their views re the afterlife, wants to or is looking forward to dying. But within most parameters, we can't control that. What we can control is the quality of our life, each and every day.

    Man, I've never had more to live for than I do right now. I'll go kicking and screaming. But in the meantime, I appreciate each and every day.
    I'm with you...

    I just had a son, and I am already spending every day with him as though it is my last...he won't be a baby very long, time is moving quickly for me. I have to enjoy it NOW...there is no time to wait.

  7. #7
       
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    Default Re: Feeling insecure about aging?

    Quote Originally Posted by bladefd
    I don't know if it's just me, but I have become insecure about aging in last few years....
    i would keep doing what you're doing... be honest about your insecurities and respect their power. these are the things that run our lives in a big way no matter how much we try to shortcut our way around them or pave right over them with seductive, persuasive bullshit.


    when you are ready for it, i would also recommend seeking to understand the various original causes of your insecurities... as well as other spare feelings and thought-patterns you're not interested in maintaining. thus, with work, you can re-program yourself over time and find that life opens up for you like a flower in bloom. everything seems to become easier and life takes on more richness.


    we're not designed to be perfect-- we're designed to keep falling off the bike. but if we figure out why we crashed, then we can pick ourselves up, recognise what went wrong, and avoid it more efficiently next time.


    yes, neural connections can be re-programmed, and we can become the people that we choose to over time... little by little. self-reflection and meditation are two of my biggest tools.

    anyway, this is what makes life very satisfying for ME right now, even with a disease kicking my ass these days.

  8. #8
    5-time NBA All-Star
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    Default Re: Feeling insecure about aging?

    My friend.

    Don't worry.

    Let us ease into our new roles.

    First clean shaven, then a bit of peach fuzz, and then salt and pepper beard.

    First puccy, then career, then wisdom.

    All that can be constant is your will to smile =)

  9. #9
    The Magic are a trash HylianNightmare's Avatar
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    Default Re: Feeling insecure about aging?

    Damn I've been sweating turning 23 a couple weeks ago, glad some others face this sort of anxiety. Some inspiring reads up in here

  10. #10
    By Any Means Just2McFly's Avatar
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    Default Re: Feeling insecure about aging?

    Quote Originally Posted by HylianNightmare
    Damn I've been sweating turning 23 a couple weeks ago, glad some others face this sort of anxiety. Some inspiring reads up in here
    I agree with this. Best thread I've read in a while.

  11. #11
    NBA Legend Bandito's Avatar
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    Default Re: Feeling insecure about aging?

    I feel so insecure about aging. I feel that I never did all the stupid shit my friends did as I was growing up I was a hardcore gamer. Now that I am older, I see all the kids doing exactly what I didn't do and feel like an old fart now. Is like my friends (I am 26) all have kids and feel like they don't have the energy to do nothing, but I feel good physically that I can do a lot of things. Like I don't know run, play sports, climb a mountain and other stuff like that. I just came back to college and I am thinking of joining the volleyball team but I feel so insecure about being the old fart of the group if I somehow get to be picked in the team.

  12. #12
    NBA Legend Bandito's Avatar
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    Default Re: Feeling insecure about aging?

    Quote Originally Posted by DMV2
    I'm way more terrified of old age, like after age 65, than death. The stage where your body begin to deteriorate and decline. Your joints are barely holding shit together. Your bones begin to slide out of place. The stage in life where your physical independence is gone, you need life assistance and you know you can't do anything about it.

    Apart of me wishes I don't reach that stage.
    Unless you get one of those rare diseases you can be very dependent after 65. But you have to take care of your body starting right now. That means keep fast food to the minimum, eat all the food groups through the day, eat healthy, exercise, keep your weight at the normal range (don't be overweight) and don't smoke/drugs.

    Smoking lead to lung diseases which will happen probably after your 40's (I work as pulmonary technician) and trust me that's not pretty to see (you don't want a nasal catheter up your nose right?). Being overweight also affect your lung capacity and if you smoke and your overweight it's going to be very hard to breath as your lung capacity diminishes and you might get heart diseases and other stuff.

    If you don't exercise you might get arthritis at old age, and heart disease too. If you don't keep a healthy diet you could get diabetes, heart diseases and other stuff. (You might get diabetes because it has not been proven if its genetic or because of diet or other cause but it doesn't hurt to prevent it right?).

    Just do all that and you might live a better life than you think after 65.

  13. #13
    NBA sixth man of the year miller-time's Avatar
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    Default Re: Feeling insecure about aging?

    I don't really care about aging anymore, I sort of got over it around 27 (two years ago). At some point you begin to realize it is inevitable and you can either spend your entire life fighting it or learn to go with it. Life is too short to worry about being old. As Bandito said, just start taking care of yourself now.

    Death is a separate issue. My only concern about death is dying before my parents. I just don't want them to be upset.

  14. #14
    I Insist JohnnySic's Avatar
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    Default Re: Feeling insecure about aging?

    Growing older bothered me in my mid/late 20's. Now I' pushing 40 ad couldn't care less.

  15. #15
    NBA lottery pick ukballer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Feeling insecure about aging?

    I turned 25 at the beginning of last month, and it's kind of a bummer when I think about the fact I'm now closer to 30 than I am 20, especially as I don't feel like I'm mature enough yet. Well I guess I am, I've always been mature for my age, but right now I'm still kinda coasting through life still doing the same things I was doing when I was 18-21. Not really sure when the 'young man's life' is supposed to start to slow down.

    Young man's life meaning still kicking it with my friends, playing video games, perhaps seeing one or two different women.... you kinda get the drift. I don't drink and I'm not really the party going type, so that's not part of it. But still, some of my friends are starting to settle down and I'm noticing the changes in their life. One acquaintance of mine is in fact getting married today. I'm sure I'd be ready to settle down if the right girl came around, and it's definitely more appealing than it used to be. But I'm not at that point yet.

    I'm trying not think too much about the stigma attached to turning 30, but I know it's not too far away. Did any of you guys notice a significant change in your life and lifestyle when turning 30, or shortly after it?

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