how do YOU approach girls?

[chosen_one6]

in my opinion if a girl says that she doesn't like a guy because the guy is "takes care of them too much" that is basically just them just saying "I'm not attracted to him" in a nicer way...

and again, I don't view buying a drink as anything more than a friendly gesture...to me that isn't "putting them on a pedestal" at all...it's just another way of saying "you seem nice may I have a drink with you?"

I mean if buy my buddy a hot dog at Mavs game does that mean I am putting him on a pedestal? lol...drinks and hot dogs are not anything substantial at all

guess what though, plenty of women do like to be "put on a pedestal"...they want attention, they want to feel special, many girls LIKE being hit on, makes them feel wanted...

So if you're at the mall are you going to offer to buy a girl lunch that you don't even know? I mean, everyone else is buying lunch right? So it's a nice gesture isn't it?

[-p.tiddy-]

So if you're at the mall are you going to offer to buy a girl lunch that you don't even know? I mean, everyone else is buying lunch right? So it's a nice gesture isn't it?

naw if a girl is at the mall eating lunch it is likely because she is hungry...

if a girl is at a bar all dressed up without a man it is likely because she wants to be hit on...


my first post in this thread:

at a bar/club just offer to buy a drink...it's fairly easy

but in the past when single sometimes I would see a hot girl at a grocery store, or other places...that is much more difficult.

"oh hey, I like Special K Cereal too!"..."hello nice to meet you!, what is your name?"...

it's just awkward...

I have had trouble approaching girls outside of that bar/club environment where it is natural and expected...it is because you are usually in a situation where they are not looking to be hit on...and could be married, or could be in a hurry, etc

[JerryWest]

sexually

[chosen_one6]

naw if a girl is at the mall eating lunch it is likely because she is hungry...

if a girl is at a bar all dressed up without a man it is likely because she wants to be hit on...


my first post in this thread:



I have had trouble approaching girls outside of that bar/club environment where it is natural and expected...it is because you are usually in a situation where they are not looking to be hit on...and could be married, or could be in a hurry, etc

So it has nothing to do with the fact that she may just want to dance that night? Or maybe she just wants to spend time with her friends/coworkers? Or maybe she just wants to get free drinks?

I've talked to too many women (admittedly mid-20's women) to realize that they don't go to the club/bar looking for a dude. However, I do realize that it may just be the type of women that I go for that don't go to the club looking for dudes to f*ck around with. I know there are women that do that but they would never be anything more than a FWB in my eyes.

Maybe I'll try buying a 10 girls a drink and see the success rate...it wouldn't hurt to try just to see what would happen.

[-p.tiddy-]

So it has nothing to do with the fact that she may just want to dance that night? Or maybe she just wants to spend time with her friends/coworkers? Or maybe she just wants to get free drinks?

I've talked to too many women (admittedly mid-20's women) to realize that they don't go to the club/bar looking for a dude. However, I do realize that it may just be the type of women that I go for that don't go to the club looking for dudes to f*ck around with. I know there are women that do that but they would never be anything more than a FWB in my eyes.

Maybe I'll try buying a 10 girls a drink and see the success rate...it wouldn't hurt to try just to see what would happen.

funny you say that, I swear to God I used to have my own 10-hit rule lol...try to hit on 10 girls in one night, almost every time you will hook up before reaching number 10...if you reach 10 with no luck then give up, that means you left your mojo at the crib

and yes some girls are there to dance, or hang out, and most of the time they will just say "no thank you" if you ask to have a drink with them...and you move on, no money spent.

[chosen_one6]

funny you say that, I swear to God I used to have my own 10-hit rule lol...try to hit on 10 girls in one night, almost every time you will hook up before reaching number 10...if you reach 10 with no luck then give up, that means you left your mojo at the crib

and yes some girls are there to dance, or hang out, and most of the time they will just say "no thank you" if you ask to have a drink with them...and you move on, no money spent.

I'll try it, just to spice it up a bit haha

[DonDadda59]

I have had trouble approaching girls outside of that bar/club environment where it is natural and expected...it is because you are usually in a situation where they are not looking to be hit on...and could be married, or could be in a hurry, etc

Serious question- do you think all the time you've spent in strip clubs (and I suppose clubs/bars in general) have skewed your view towards relating to women? Specifically, it seems that you equate love/sex/etc with money.

[-p.tiddy-]

Serious question- do you think all the time you've spent in strip clubs (and I suppose clubs/bars in general) have skewed your view towards relating to women? Specifically, it seems that you equate love/sex/etc with money.

I used to objectify women, yes...but I didn't view buying a drink as "money"...or relate "love" to money...sex maybe could be related to money, not love

strip club is different completely though...that really is all about money most of the time, never any "love" though

kind of a hard vague question...



I am happily married with a kid now, so that life is behind me...and we don't have any problems relating to each other

[Rasheed1]

a guy like Rasheed1 who has a wife and has a certain ghetto, but intellectual appeal to him would fly over well since a) dude's got a ring --> means he can handle a woman and if he was to buy me a drink that's a gesture of etiquette and him looking uhh menacing doin gsomething nice is attractive. Something about contrast.

Ill tell you this...

That is true to an extent... and it works best with white women... When white girls see me, they might be intimidated, but as soon as they realize that Im approachable and can relate to them on a few levels? they come at me pretty strong because to them? Im their ticket to "the black experience" works for me. I like white girls as much as like black girls and puerto rican girls... Asian girls come after that, but ive messed with some sexy asian women too.. I like them all

I leave no food on the table

[Eat Like A Bosh]

It's ridiculous how many people are actually thinking about what to say to a girl. Stop worrying about what to say. Those Cheesy Pickup lines are overrated. Shouldn't rely on them to pick up girls. Buying drinks is perfectly fine, but don't overdo it. You shouldn't have to start off by buying a drink, just to get a girl to talk to you. Looking at you, P Titty.

It's not about what you say, it's how you say it. Sometimes I say even the most random shit you've ever heard and they still giggle. It's all about confidence. A confident guy can make a shitty joke funny, while an awkward guy can make even the best joke in the world awkward. So in the end, it doesn't matter what you say. Say whatever's on your mind.

Tl;DR: Women love confidence.

[-p.tiddy-]

It's ridiculous how many people are actually thinking about what to say to a girl. Stop worrying about what to say. Those Cheesy Pickup lines are overrated. Shouldn't rely on them to pick up girls. Buying drinks is perfectly fine, but don't overdo it. You shouldn't have to start off by buying a drink, just to get a girl to talk to you. Looking at you, P Titty.

It's not about what you say, it's how you say it. Sometimes I say even the most random shit you've ever heard and they still giggle. It's all about confidence. A confident guy can make a shitty joke funny, while an awkward guy can make even the best joke in the world awkward. So in the end, it doesn't matter what you say. Say whatever's on your mind.

Tl;DR: Women love confidence.

yeah it's all about physical attraction at first, not the "opener"...how you look and how you carry yourself is everything

I'll say this about "confidence" though, if you have too much of it you can come off cocky and douchy...some girls really like for a guy to act nervous and intimated by them, as though it was hard to work up the nerve to talk to them, makes them say "ah, he is so sweet!"...I have played the shy card a few times for that reason...they don't want to get the impression that you hit on girls for a living.

[Bigsmoke]

hey girl! let me feel on that booty!

[ILLsmak]

I dont approach a ton of girls, but when I do I've usually had a couple drinks in me and I'll go with a simple "hello"/"how are you?" and possibly a "can I buy you a drink?" Since there are so many ladies men on ISH, how and where do YOU approach girls?

Honestly dude... and I love posting in these threads because I know people doubt my shit, so take it as comedy.

There are very few girls that are approach-able. I look at girls. I make eye contact, but a girl has to do a lot of tricks before I'd even think of approaching her.

I mean, you should know it's GG before you go up to her just by how she acts. Girls will wait to be approached, too. And if they do, I don't... it has to be a magical situation. Sometimes when I am into a girl and she is digging my shit and she stops paying attention to me... or starts flirting with another guy, then I am like NO. And I'll put myself in front of her. But even then sometimes, I'm like eh.

The thing is, I don't want ***** like other people want *****. I want a girl who is worth it. As I've said in other threads, I've got a lot to lose, so I don't feel like I can go around sleeping with girls I don't trust.

If you go out to get *****, a girl will know it. Doesn't mean you can't get it, but that's giving her power, and you don't want the girl having power when you interact with her. I'd prefer power to be in each court.

All of these dudes like HOW DO I APPROACH WOMEN I WANT HOT GIRL AND *****... that's not it. Just be yourself, go places that girls are. Take your time. The best girls will wait for the best guy. If someone comes and snatches a girl from under you either A. She wasn't the best or B. You weren't the best... and we all know it's better to assume A.

-Smak

[Andrei89]

if you can't afford to spring a little money for women then you have absolutely no business at all even being in a night club...

I go to a night club to have a greta time.

Must I always approach girls?

[Electric Slide]

yep this


at a bar/club just offer to buy a drink...it's fairly easy

but in the past when single sometimes I would see a hot girl at a grocery store, or other places...that is much more difficult.

"oh hey, I like Special K Cereal too!"..."hello nice to meet you!, what is your name?"...

it's just awkward...

It is only awkward if you think it is

The problem with most people like the OP is that they overthink it. There is no set way to do anything, just go out there and be yourself and the results will come.