Spiders/Arachnid Unappreciation Thread

[Batz]

I have a family of them multiplying in my bathroom. We have everything in my place though. We get tons of flies and I've killed 3 crickets in the past week.

What a ****ing coincidence that this thread is here. Just went into my bathroom and turned on the light to wash my face and go to bed and out of the corner of my eye BAM ****ING HUGE BLACK FAST ****ING SPIDER RUNNING FOR COVER. I almost shit myself and ran outta the bathroom and then went back in to try to find and kill the ****er but at first I thought he ran into the shelf so one by one I removed my medicine bottles etc waiting for this mother****er to strike but no sign of him until I realized theres a crack on top of the shelf that he crawled into so I grabbed a bottle of RAID and overkilled it into the cracks so I essentially trapped him in there suffocating to death. I'm just going to assume he's dead for now so I can go to sleep.


tldr **** spiders.

This i why I'm currently living in my hotel right now. I found a huge black spider in my bathroom I just went in drop a frag grenade and ran out my house safe to say it was worth it. arachnophobia 4 life till i die

Arachnophobics unite!

[BrickingStar]

Arachnophobics unite!

holy shit google spider bites

[Smoke117]

I ****ing hate spiders. They just creep me out. I had my gf over spending the night a week ago or so and I saw one in the corner and was like shit a spider, need to kill that bitch and she got all excited about it saying "no don't kill it, I like spiders" and I'm just like :| "what do you want me to do with it" "catch it and take it outside?" "Forget that, what if I mess up and it falls and gets away, then i'll be thinking about it all night, I'm smashing the shit out of it". She just ended up looking away when I smashed the life out of it.

I had never even entertained the thought of "catching the spider and putting it outside". I was way too lazy to put forth that kind of effort. I was worried he might get away if I tried though, but it was more just the fact that I didn't care to even attempt it when just killing him was so much easier.

[Batz]

I ****ing hate spiders. They just creep me out. I had my gf over spending the night a week ago or so and I saw one in the corner and was like shit a spider, need to kill that bitch and she got all excited about it saying "no don't kill it, I like spiders" and I'm just like :| "what do you want me to do with it" "catch it and take it outside?" "Forget that, what I if mess up and it falls and gets away, then i'll be thinking about it all night, I'm smashing the shit out of it". She just ended up looking away when I smashed the life out of it.

You get a medal from me pal.

[RedBlackAttack]

I had an epic battle with a spider one night in my basement bathroom...

I was brushing my teeth when I noticed some gargantuan hairy spider legs bulging out of a small gap in the molding. At first I thought, "That's got to be a huge f#cking spider, but I'm betting he lives inside the walls and does his insect thing out of sight... I'm just going to let him go."

Of course, while continuing to brush my teeth, I tried to look away from the area but couldn't. Every time I glanced back, he was further and further out of the darkness. By the time I finished in the bathroom (and by finished, I mean immediately vacated once it was fully exposed), this thing was looking straight at me like he was ready for a life and death battle.

I momentarily weighed the options of either never using that bathroom again or meeting the challenge. Eventually, I opted for the latter. I went back in to check on the beast in order to formulate my gameplan and, by this time, his legs were sticking out from behind a large pipe about 3/4 of the way up to the ceiling.

I did a quick scan of the possible weapons at my disposal. I decided on a water bottle and a shoe. The plan was to spray the area around the spider with a mist of water (he was unexposed besides his big hairy legs, at this point) and, when he moved away from the pipe, I would smash him with the shoe.

I entered the bathroom cautiously with shoe and water bottle in hand. I found a spot where I felt safe from any counter-attack, but also close enough to lower the boom. I aimed the water bottle on mist setting and raised the shoe high over my head. This was it. The moment of truth had arrived.

I sent the mist, the beast moved from behind the pipe and stared me straight in the face, I came down hard and fast with the shoe........ And inadvertently smashed the light bulb above my head.

Now, I had obviously enraged a massive spider with the water spray, it was moving around the room and I was in the pitch black. My mind immediately told me to flee the bathroom, but I was completely frozen in place.

Suddenly, there was a swift movement on the wall right beside my head... I acted immediately with the shoe.




And smashed him to bits. I don't know if the adrenaline gave me some kind of super vision/speed, but it was over. He was a worthy opponent.


Good luck with your guy.

[BrickingStar]

I had an epic battle with a spider one night in my basement bathroom...

I was brushing my teeth when I noticed some gargantuan hairy spider legs bulging out of a small gap in the molding. At first I thought, "That's got to be a huge f#cking spider, but I'm betting he lives inside the walls and does his insect thing out of sight... I'm just going to let him go."

Of course, while continuing to brush my teeth, I tried to look away from the area but couldn't. Every time I glanced back, he was further and further out of the darkness. By the time I finished in the bathroom (and by finished, I mean immediately vacated once it was fully exposed), this thing was looking straight at me like he was ready for a life and death battle.

I momentarily weighed the options of either never using that bathroom again or meeting the challenge. Eventually, I opted for the latter. I went back in to check on the beast in order to formulate my gameplan and, by this time, his legs were sticking out from behind a large pipe about 3/4 of the way up to the ceiling.

I did a quick scan of the possible weapons at my disposal. I decided on a water bottle and a shoe. The plan was to spray the area around the spider with a midst of water (he was unexposed besides his big hairy legs, at this point) and, when he moved away from the pipe, I would smash him with the shoe.

I entered the bathroom cautiously with shoe and water bottle in hand. I found a spot where I felt safe from any counter-attack, but also close enough to lower the boom. I aimed the water bottle on midst setting and raised the shoe high over my head. This was it. The moment of truth had arrived.

I sent the midst, the beast moved from behind the pipe and stared me straight in the face, I came down hard and fast with the shoe........ And inadvertently smashed the light bulb above my head.

Now, I had obviously enraged a massive spider with the water spray, it was moving around the room and I was in the pitch black. My mind immediately told me to flee the bathroom, but I was completely frozen in place.

Suddenly, there was a swift movement on the wall right beside my head... I acted immediately with the shoe.




And smashed him to bits. I don't know if the adrenaline gave me some kind of super vision/speed, but it was over. He was a worthy opponent.


Good luck with your guy.

You should write a book

[SourPatchKids]

^ T[FONT="Lucida Console"]hat's pretty epic.[/FONT]

[RedBlackAttack]

You should have never used the water though unless it's an inconvenient location for you to initiate your attack. I would grab some body armor (layers of jackets and pants) and get multiple newspapers and magazines. Roll them up and throw the stuff at it.

I couldn't hit him. He was behind a pipe way up almost to the ceiling. It was as though he knew that I was trying to formulate an attack and he found a great spot to thwart any conventional rolled up newspaper offensive.

I had to draw him out from behind that pipe somehow. The water bottle just happened to be handy. It was actually a pretty solid plan. He exposed himself pretty much immediately after being sprayed. I hadn't counted on the basement bathroom having such low ceilings, though, and smashing the light.

I think that room going dark at that moment was scariest thing to ever happen in my life. I mean like horror movie scary.

[KDTrey5]

there was a spider in my car today. didnt really freak out but. wtf?

[Batz]

I had an epic battle with a spider one night in my basement bathroom...

I was brushing my teeth when I noticed some gargantuan hairy spider legs bulging out of a small gap in the molding. At first I thought, "That's got to be a huge f#cking spider, but I'm betting he lives inside the walls and does his insect thing out of sight... I'm just going to let him go."

Of course, while continuing to brush my teeth, I tried to look away from the area but couldn't. Every time I glanced back, he was further and further out of the darkness. By the time I finished in the bathroom (and by finished, I mean immediately vacated once it was fully exposed), this thing was looking straight at me like he was ready for a life and death battle.

I momentarily weighed the options of either never using that bathroom again or meeting the challenge. Eventually, I opted for the latter. I went back in to check on the beast in order to formulate my gameplan and, by this time, his legs were sticking out from behind a large pipe about 3/4 of the way up to the ceiling.

I did a quick scan of the possible weapons at my disposal. I decided on a water bottle and a shoe. The plan was to spray the area around the spider with a midst of water (he was unexposed besides his big hairy legs, at this point) and, when he moved away from the pipe, I would smash him with the shoe.

I entered the bathroom cautiously with shoe and water bottle in hand. I found a spot where I felt safe from any counter-attack, but also close enough to lower the boom. I aimed the water bottle on midst setting and raised the shoe high over my head. This was it. The moment of truth had arrived.

I sent the midst, the beast moved from behind the pipe and stared me straight in the face, I came down hard and fast with the shoe........ And inadvertently smashed the light bulb above my head.

Now, I had obviously enraged a massive spider with the water spray, it was moving around the room and I was in the pitch black. My mind immediately told me to flee the bathroom, but I was completely frozen in place.

Suddenly, there was a swift movement on the wall right beside my head... I acted immediately with the shoe.




And smashed him to bits. I don't know if the adrenaline gave me some kind of super vision/speed, but it was over. He was a worthy opponent.


Good luck with your guy.

Amazing. Absolutely brilliant performance. This is gold-medal worthy man.

I've had a hell of a bathroom experience aswell. I told Al Thorton it in the old BTE thread.

So I was on the toilet, in deep thought mode. I'm not the guy who uses their phone or reads a book/paper on the toilet, I like to think. But as I was staring into oblivion, I noticed something move. A big ass brown spider just chillaxing on the wall and could just jump onto my bare dick at any given moment.

What I do? I could get up, but man I'm takin' a shit, don't wanna move till I'm done my shit. So I don't move. I reached for the toilet paper, wrap about half an inch of it around my hand, and smacked the crap out of it. Plastered him right on the wall, dumped it in the toilet, wiped my ass, flushed and did a Arabic Jihad chant throughout the process.

F[FONT="Verdana"]u[/FONT]ck Spiders.

[DirkNowitzki41]

i cant stand spiders, im a bitch when it comes to them. I only see the smaller skinny ones too. I don't know what the fvck i would do if i ever saw those big ass hairy ones.

[DirkNowitzki41]

is this real? what kind of shit is this big??

[Batz]

is this real? what kind of shit is this big??

Looks like a derp spider. xD



Btw, you know you're f[FONT="Verdana"]u[/FONT]cked when:

[Batz]

I had a similar experience Batz. I was in the bathroom just taking an innocent piss, minding my own business. When I was finished, after flushing I went to go wash my hands. Well as soon as I step away from the toilet, this big ass, brown spider shoots down from its web, RIGHT ABOVE where my head was. Then, after it's failed attack it quickly began to scurry back up on its web into the fan vent.

I had one of those slow moment instances right here; when time seems to dilate and you have a million things going through your head at once. I was so relieved that I had somehow evaded this voracious predator (not to mention I didn't have a haircut at the time so it would've gotten tangled in my curls) but was too shocked to move to try and kill it. Plus it was so damn fast. I just washed my hands and ran out of the bathroom.

It didn't help that I had to take a crap about 20 minutes later. I never pondered doing something so trivial for so long in my life.

You took a crap 20 minutes later? Holy shit, no pun intended. But there's no way I would've gone back in there after having such an experience, an experience where the spider doesn't die.

[d.bball.guy]

OMG NOOOO

Man, I fvcking hate those bastards. Those long legs...damn. I remember seeing big spiders in my house, just roaming around. Makes me wanna burn down the house. Scary as fvck. Not that scare on small ones but those huge ones.