why is life so unfair?

[KobesOneUglyTat]

nothing is more unfair then life itself, why is it this way? is there a purpose? it it a system designed to build resiliancy in the human race, making us stronger as the centuries pass by?

[geeWiz15]

To make life worth living.

If everyone went your way what would be the point?

[VCDrivesAPorscheToWork]

Life is as fair as you make it.


Lower your expectations and you'll find its plenty fair.

[KobesOneUglyTat]

geewiz thank you for bringing a whole new dimension to the discussion. it is a given that life will be tough for everyone at certain points, but keep in mind those who are better looking/smarter/wittier etc have a huge advantage over their less pretty and talented counterparts.

given this, what is your opinion on the unfairness of your life vs. someone you envy, as opposed the the general unfairness of life itself-which you already touched on.

[mlh1981]

The best way to approach life is to take things one day at a time. It sounds so cliche, but it's true. It's very easy to look into the future and get overwhelmed by everything. Just take things as the come, but at the same time, be aggressive when you need to.

[geeWiz15]

given this, what is your opinion on the unfairness of your life vs. someone you envy, as opposed the the general unfairness of life itself-which you already touched on.

When you have a disadvantage, and you get what you want anyway, it makes it all that much sweeter. That's why people you view as "lucky" actually aren't so lucky. When everything comes easy to someone and they don't know what it's like to earn anything, they don't get the good feelings associated with it.

Life is what you make it.. period. If you just take what the universe gives you you're a gigantic pansy.

[KobesOneUglyTat]

life is what you make it, the question is what assets do YOU have to make it all that it can be? some have more than others, but often they can be very subtle assets, like patience or dry wit.

[mlh1981]

Life is as fair as you make it.


Lower your expectations and you'll find its plenty fair.

I don't know if LOWERING your expectations is the answer. I think having REALISTIC expectations is the key. Example: I don't have much money right now, so I can't go off and buy air jordan's. Instead, I buy the new Marburys. It's really not a big deal because I'm in my mid 20s and could care less about shoes, but since I needed a pair, I got what I could afford. It's being realistic

Also, I know that I cannot wine/dine a woman of upper-middle class status. I feel as if I have the right personality/sense of humor/intelligence to talk to anyone, but right now, I'm prob. better off "looking" for someone closer to my socio-economic status. This should change as I get older, get a real job, and make more money and have higher status, but right now, I am limited in my options and being realistic. In fact, I would rather remain single, because the pool of women around here aren't very desireable.

[mlh1981]

When you have a disadvantage, and you get what you want anyway, it makes it all that much sweeter. That's why people you view as "lucky" actually aren't so lucky. When everything comes easy to someone and they don't know what it's like to earn anything, they don't get the good feelings associated with it.

Life is what you make it.. period. If you just take what the universe gives you you're a gigantic pansy.

Great point. It's called the "victim mentality." Many people feel powerless, and are used to being exploited. They don't know any other way. They feel as if they have no control, so they say "f uck it," and are bitter people who drive away their friends and never succeed in relationships.

[Agent_Zero]

Life isn't fair. My parents are both doctors, very successful, we have two nice cars, a movie theater in our house. Sounds nice, right?

My sister died a couple months after she was born. And my brother is severely disabled. He is in a wheelchair. He cannot walk, talk, do anything. We carry him up to his room. So I guess, even though I have money, cars, a nice house, I would give it all up for my siblings in a heart beat.

[mlh1981]

People spend their whole lives working their @sses off to get ahead, oftentimes putting family/friends off to the side. Noone on their death bed ever says "geez, I wish I had spent more time in the office"

Conclusion: Life is about the relationships that you build with your family and the people around you. Work? At the MOST, it makes up about 35-40 years of your life. Work hard and succeed, but don't let it define you. Be defined what what kind of person you are to those closest to you.

[gts]

Life isn't fair. My parents are both doctors, very successful, we have two nice cars, a movie theater in our house. Sounds nice, right?

My sister died a couple months after she was born. And my brother is severely disabled. He is in a wheelchair. He cannot walk, talk, do anything. We carry him up to his room. So I guess, even though I have money, cars, a nice house, I would give it all up for my siblings in a heart beat.

exactly life has it's twists and turns for everyone sooner or latter... my step daughter is mentally delayed, beautiful girl (literally) great heart, yet she will never be able to do so many things many of us take for granted... i really bask in the sunshine of her daily victories, little things that most 10 years olds can do are a chore for her, yet she has a iron will that keeps her going... this week the other night we finally got jump rope down... she made 12 skips... not a big deal to some but a reason for celebration at our house

[geeWiz15]

the question is what assets do YOU have to make it all that it can be? some have more than others, but often they can be very subtle assets, like patience or dry wit.

Are you asking me personally what my advantages are in this world?

I guess my ability to focus and be at my best when it matters the most. Then you've got IQ. Then you've got analytical ability. Then you've got my intrinsic locus of control (forgive the psych term, it means I believe I control my fate, it's the only word I can think of that accurately describes it). Then you've got objectivity. And I'm good with words. Those are my strengths I guess. I use those qualities to offset my weaknesses, of which there are a heck of a lot.

I believe everyone has the traits to get all they need out of life. Not everyone can become famous, or at the top of their field, but everyone has the ability born in them to completely fulfill themselves. Step one I guess is figuring out what you need in life to feel fulfilled. And step two obviously is going out and getting there. One of MY weaknesses is figuring out what I need in life to feel fulfilled.

Some people, no matter how hard they work will never advance beyond the service industry, and others even things like construction. Luckily people like this don't feel the need to succeed. Then there are people that are very shallow, and cannot form meaningful relationships with others. Luckily, they will never feel like they're missing out on anything. Nature's generous that way. We all have a set of goals laid out for us and the tools to reach them. It's up to us to do so.

[jstern]

When you have a disadvantage, and you get what you want anyway, it makes it all that much sweeter. That's why people you view as "lucky" actually aren't so lucky. When everything comes easy to someone and they don't know what it's like to earn anything, they don't get the good feelings associated with it.

Life is what you make it.. period. If you just take what the universe gives you you're a gigantic pansy.

High IQ post from a 17 year old. I wonder why he was banned.

Life isn't fair. My parents are both doctors, very successful, we have two nice cars, a movie theater in our house. Sounds nice, right?

My sister died a couple months after she was born. And my brother is severely disabled. He is in a wheelchair. He cannot walk, talk, do anything. We carry him up to his room. So I guess, even though I have money, cars, a nice house, I would give it all up for my siblings in a heart beat.

It's interesting from a reincarnation point of view, the possible good and bad from your family's situation. With your brother being disabled, unable to talk, and in a wheelchair, it gives you a better perspective about what to value, and an understanding of the pain of others. Which is beneficial, and would be growth for many future lives, but at the same time, it's a current horror.

We currently have this guy in this forum who's also in a wheelchair. His name is Simon, but we call him wheels.

[Jasper]

in generalization i will make a couple of statements.

I am retired, but from 18-26 young adults brain is coming to completion in maturity.
It is a struggle for everyone to find your self as well as find your way in society.

patience is the key.

BUT I can not stress that while a individual is going through this period , you find a job that you want to do for life.
It will give you security , insurance , and vacations.
I don't care if you love pushing a broom if that is what you love to do , DO IT.
---------------
I had some trying times, as well as depression , and I was thinking a lot.
Broke up with another girlfriend and it was effecting my job.
Went to a shrink and he said instead of thinking of 12 things think of 3-4 things. (NEVER LOOKED back)

My point is the brain needs to complete development , but you have to start
your adult life while this is going on.
My generation , most married at this time ,as well as kids, and thinking of buying a home. (That is a lot to put on a young adult)
I would not want to do it now , the pressure is eminence.
(That is why I believe school shooting occur, because the kids can't handle the pressure)