i need advice, just found out the girl im sleeping with is pregnant.

[RaininTwos]

this thread makes me feel so much better that i got dumped and haven't had sex in a few months

Your hand= franchise player

[Brunch@Five]

While it's a hyperbole, I do feel the same as Q. In my head I'm still far removed from settling down anywhere. I don't want to pin myself down to one location, one career, one lifestyle. Too much to see, too much to do.

However, if I had a child I would feel responsible for raising and providing for the child. Which would exactly equate to settling down, getting into a career I don't really want to get into and providing a safe, stable environment. Then in addition to that, in this situation the mother is also just a person you have a casual sex relation with who you don't see as a partner and not someone you'd want to start a family with at any point, that certainly makes the situation worse. It wouldn't be the end of my life, but it would be pretty far from what I'd consider an ideal situation for me.

Yeah, it's not an ideal situation, but it can definitely work out very well, if your environment is right. Don't even have to live in a real "familiy". If the parents are decent, they will support you. It all starts with the mother though, and whether whe wants it to work out. She'll be in the position of power most likely for the next couple of years if you don't have a career already. Working it out is tough, but possible if everyone pulls the same rope.

It's a long way from ending your life though, being the father, especially if you don't live with mom and child. You'll have to assume responsibility for your child, can't go huge distances (like studying abroad) really, but other than that? What is there you can't do anymore?

We're living in times where you don't have to marry the woman that gives birth to your child. Situations have changed.

[LJJ]

I don't know about the development rates but whatever is commonly accepted now I'm fine with.

Okay....

So essentially you are strongly in support of abortion rights, but you have no idea at all why.

"Interesting".....

[Qwyjibo]

so please explain how having a child means your life is over? That you can't go out every night/weekend?
Do you ever feel sorry for ending your parents life?

No because I enjoy being in existence. But to be honest, if my parents never had me I wouldn't be surprised if their life was more enjoyable. And I wasn't even a bad kid after age 6 or so. That's just my opinion though.

It's just different preferences. I don't see the personal joy one can get from raising a child. I just don't. To me it's too big and long of a commitment to take on. I'm 29 and I don't go out constantly or anything but the spontaneous trips/events would pretty much be nixed unless I simply wasn't a part of the child's life (or didn't have one in the first place). That will be a part of almost every aspect of your life. It is a completely undesirable life changing event to me.

[LJJ]

Yeah, it's not an ideal situation, but it can definitely work out very well, if your environment is right. Don't even have to live in a real "familiy". If the parents are decent, they will support you. It all starts with the mother though, and whether whe wants it to work out. She'll be in the position of power most likely for the next couple of years if you don't have a career already. Working it out is tough, but possible if everyone pulls the same rope.

It's a long way from ending your life though, being the father, especially if you don't live with mom and child. You'll have to assume responsibility for your child, can't go huge distances (like studying abroad) really, but other than that? What is there you can't do anymore?

We're living in times where you don't have to marry the woman that gives birth to your child. Situations have changed.

I can certainly can work out very well, but it's sort of a matter of different strokes for different folks. I have friends who have had children in their late teens and are perfectly content with that.

For me personally: I'd have to quit college, which I don't want. I'd have to live in a shitty Amsterdam suburb indefinitely, which I don't want. Any risk-taking or chance-taking in any form whatsoever would pretty much be out of the question. And I'm very much still a searcher right now. I'd do it all if I had to, but none of it would be by choice or preference.

[Rake2204]

No because I enjoy being in existence. But to be honest, if my parents never had me I wouldn't be surprised if their life was more enjoyable. And I wasn't even a bad kid after age 6 or so. That's just my opinion though.

It's just different preferences. I don't see the personal joy one can get from raising a child. I just don't. To me it's too big and long of a commitment to take on. I'm 29 and I don't go out constantly or anything but the spontaneous trips/events would pretty much be nixed unless I simply wasn't a part of the child's life (or didn't have one in the first place). That will be a part of almost every aspect of your life. It is a completely undesirable life changing event to me.

I can relate to you on that one. This thread has served as a good reminder of what I don't want right now. I have not completely rejected the idea of ever having a child, I just know for a fact that right now, at age 28, I would want nothing to do with one right this moment. I'm sort of waiting for a time where maybe I meet the right person and a child-having feeling just comes over me.

As it is now, I don't even like the idea of having a pet, because it'd mean I'm somewhat locked in somewhere every day. I love the feeling of being able to go where I please, when I please with no real worry. If I decide to wake up on a Saturday and just drive to the coast, I can, and I don't have to worry about getting back in time to prevent my dog from dookie bombing my carpet.

[heyhey]

Elaborate on your personal opinion then.

I'm always curious to the opinions one people who are very much in favor of the right to abortion. Especially in regards to the boundaries they are comfortable with, ie "abortion up to X weeks is okay because ....., but after week X it becomes wrong because .....".

I'm kind of the same way. I'm socially liberal about almost everything but never understood people who were overly zealous in their support of abortion.

[MJ(Mean John)]

shes 2 weeks in is there any pill for this? im scared as **** right now

Bump

[Chrono90]

There's only one way.....





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