Good things to do after getting dumped?

[Velocirap31]

Every man needs to get their heart stepped on good at least once in life. It hurts like hell, but you grow from it as a human. You learn not to take women you care about for granted, and you learn how important and rare love is. It matures your soul.

For men, when a woman comes along and falls for us, at first they'll do anything we say, we own them. It's very easy for us to forget that they won't act like that forever, and when they stop doing backflips we get upset, like "wtf apparently you forgot I was God!" Then they leave and we are left in the realization of how good we had it, and how shitty we were to them.

This is pretty accurate. I don't even need to post in here now.

[fos]

I'm doing pretty, pretty good. So I've been running 8 miles a day, down to 196 lbs (I was as high as 215, need to get down to about 180). The job hunt is heating up, had a pretty good phone interview, haven't heard back yet but then another job called to schedule a phone interview and it pays pretty decent. I've also banged an old fwb and arranged about 5 coffee dates from okcupid. Things are looking up, just have to keep looking forward.

[SwayDizzle]

your priority should be to move out asap. good luck with the job hunt

[Doomsday Dallas]

I've also banged an old fwb

This, unfortunately, in my opinion,.....
is the correct path to take.

it's for the best... helps you move on faster.

[iamgine]

So I was dumped 10 days ago, I won't go through all the details but it was pretty awful. Anyways, since then I've been running 8 miles a day, reading a bit, and submitting a lot of job applications. I'm down to 200 lbs from 212, which is great. Just trying to keep my mind on other things. I've started the ol' online dating and have a few coffee dates set up and I've reached out to an old fwb for the obvious. The worst part is we have an apartment together and the lease doesn't expire until March, but she graduates college in December, so hopefully she bails at that point. Was curious if anyone has any good suggestions on things to do to keep busy. It's been tough. Thanks

[NBAplayoffs2001]

Depending on the situation, don't contact her unless you guys were like best friends prior to dating and she thought it was better you remained friends.

Usually, I would recommend just staying out of contact with them and try to avoid drunk texting/calling your ex. I remember seeing people do this in college and it NEVER ends well. They usually say something incredibly mean or incredibly revealing. But to be honest most breakups in college were due to cheating (anyone in college knows this is rampant amongst freshmen).

Definitely:
1. Start exercising
2. Hang out with your boys
3. Pick up a new hobby or get more serious about your work/life
4. Some dudes who are really close like best buds wouldn't mind have a friend vent their feelings about what happened and they would talk it out with you without making you feel embarrassed (usually comes with maturity so you won't find this probably until your early-mid 20s). Sometimes female perspective is good too (could even be better at times and she could help give a female perspective why she dumped you). Just make sure these people would not spill out everything you said to them to everyone else.
5. I wouldn't recommend trying to go for someone right after breaking up with someone.

Also on the side note if you're getting in a relationship with someone with a recent breakup of someone they dated for years, beware of being a rebound. I remember seeing this happen to a friend and how awkward it was when he found out what she was using him for. Try to find out about their ex by asking how serious/why they broke up.

[DCL]

The worst part is we have an apartment together and the lease doesn't expire until March, but she graduates college in December, so hopefully she bails at that point.

either move out or get her to move out.

how fun is it when she starts screaming in the other room with other dudes??

those are the kind of events that might make up you end up in the nightly news with your mug shot on tv.

[NBAplayoffs2001]

How do you ask a girl about their past relationships without coming off as insecure? Or is that just impossible?

[fos]

Thought I'd give a little update since things are looking up so good so fast.

Went on a date with this chick from OKCUPID. Was a little hesitant because there were only face pics. Well she shows up to coffee and she's got a nice body. She's definitely a different type than I've been with, sorta punk/hippie chick. Crazy hairdo, lots of tattoos and piercings. Have coffee and good convo, then we go to a bar down the street. She's pretty neat, moved here in July from New Mexico, was a vet tech but tried a new thing out here working with developmentally disabled adults. She invites me to go out drinking at a bar near her place later and tells me I can stay over. Go to the bar, super chill time, end up going back to her place and having sex that night. I've never had sex on a first date, so that was nice. Have sex again in the morning before leaving, amazing how good she looks wearing nothing but an over-sized white t-shirt. Go out with her again today. Go to this little craft beer place that serves amazing grilled cheese and short-rib sandwiches. Again, awesome to hang out with. Go back to her place and watch a movie with her roommate and her husband. Her roommate makes steak for dinner. Just awesome hanging with her. And then, of course, I get back home and the ex is acting weird and wants hug lol. I'm sure she's noticed the hot new girl who is my friend on facebook and liking my status updates. Guess what bitch? That ship sailed. Shouldn't have ripped my heart out, stepped on it, put it back in, and then repeat. It's crazy how fast your life can go from rock bottom to a brand new high.

[Funktion]

Thought I'd give a little update since things are looking up so good so fast.

Went on a date with this chick from OKCUPID. Was a little hesitant because there were only face pics. Well she shows up to coffee and she's got a nice body. She's definitely a different type than I've been with, sorta punk/hippie chick. Crazy hairdo, lots of tattoos and piercings. Have coffee and good convo, then we go to a bar down the street. She's pretty neat, moved here in July from New Mexico, was a vet tech but tried a new thing out here working with developmentally disabled adults. She invites me to go out drinking at a bar near her place later and tells me I can stay over. Go to the bar, super chill time, end up going back to her place and having sex that night. I've never had sex on a first date, so that was nice. Have sex again in the morning before leaving, amazing how good she looks wearing nothing but an over-sized white t-shirt. Go out with her again today. Go to this little craft beer place that serves amazing grilled cheese and short-rib sandwiches. Again, awesome to hang out with. Go back to her place and watch a movie with her roommate and her husband. Her roommate makes steak for dinner. Just awesome hanging with her. And then, of course, I get back home and the ex is acting weird and wants hug lol. I'm sure she's noticed the hot new girl who is my friend on facebook and liking my status updates. Guess what bitch? That ship sailed. Shouldn't have ripped my heart out, stepped on it, put it back in, and then repeat. It's crazy how fast your life can go from rock bottom to a brand new high.

Good for you. Don't look back, but if you like this new broad make sure you tell her everything and don't get caught up in a bunch of drama.

[Doomsday Dallas]

And then, of course, I get back home and the ex is acting weird and wants a hug lol. I'm sure she's noticed the hot new girl who is my friend on facebook and liking my status updates. Guess what bitch? That ship sailed. Shouldn't have ripped my heart out, stepped on it, put it back in, and then repeat.

The "F*ck You" approach isn't always the correct path
after a break up. If I'm still forced to see my ex girlfriend
for whatever reason, I go more for the "I don't care about
you anymore" approach.

There is a huge difference between "I dislike you" and
"I don't care for you"

Be mindful of this. Women secretly get off on your anger.
But on the flip side... if they sense that you are
emotionless about the entire breakup, and don't
have one f*ck to give about her life... it's victory.

And if you can give off the vibe of being genuinely
happier now that the relationship is over, then you
are gold.

Seems like you are doing well in this regard, so congrats.

Just trying to warn you about burning bridges.
Easy to do in the beginning of a breakup.

Maybe you want to destroy that bridge permanently,
but if a woman breaks my heart... I try to be
nice if she is being nice to me first, while maintaing
the appearance that my life is going great, and
I could care less about any of the details of hers.

It's crazy how fast your life can go from rock bottom to a brand new high.

Story of my life.

Careful... there are many ups and downs in this relationship game.

I think I've averaged a good heartbreak once every 5 years,
so I don't always celebrate when things are going good.

But there's always an exgirlfriend's number in my back
pocket because I avoid burning bridges, and I'm nice
when I should be cruel.






Good educational movie for your current situation.

[fos]

The "F*ck You" approach isn't always the correct path
after a break up. If I'm still forced to see my ex girlfriend
for whatever reason, I go more for the "I don't care about
you anymore" approach.

There is a huge difference between "I dislike you" and
"I don't care for you"

Be mindful of this. Women secretly get off on your anger.
But on the flip side... if they sense that you are
emotionless about the entire breakup, and don't
have one f*ck to give about her life... it's victory.

And if you can give off the vibe of being genuinely
happier now that the relationship is over, then you
are gold.

Seems like you are doing well in this regard, so congrats.

Just trying to warn you about burning bridges.
Easy to do in the beginning of a breakup.

Maybe you want to destroy that bridge permanently,
but if a woman breaks my heart... I try to be
nice if she is being nice to me first, while maintaing
the appearance that my life is going great, and
I could care less about any of the details of hers.





Story of my life.

Careful... there are many ups and downs in this relationship game.

I think I've averaged a good heartbreak once every 5 years,
so I don't always celebrate when things are going good.

But there's always an exgirlfriend's number in my back
pocket because I avoid burning bridges, and I'm nice
when I should be cruel.






Good educational movie for your current situation.

Yeah, that's good advice, probably best not to burn bridges, especially when I'm stuck living with her until late December at the very earliest.