The Universe Roast Thread

[Nick Young]

With news coming out that the Universe is coming to its dying years, let's take this chance to roast it. You've given us a lot of great times over the years, Universe. This one's for you.



RIP Universe

[You Cant Ban Me]

The universe is so old.....big bang


The universe is so fat that it has stretch marks that run for light years

[Nick Young]

The universe farts and a freakin star comes out. And I thought my farts were powerful. Amirite?

[SugarHill]

The universe is so old.....big bang

DON DEMARCO

[JEFFERSON MONEY]

Roses are Red,
Violets are Blue,
IF Lil Wayne was f*cking the world and giving the Universe his damn tongue,
Does that make him a necrophiliac?

[Lakers Fan]

"Universe shmooniverse....I'm UniFirst! Sit down and wait your turn to eat biatch!"

[Velocirap31]

I've known about this since the 90's. There will never be a big crunch, the universe is expanding at an accelerating rate. It's inevitable. Things will expand and separate forever.

Not being a douche, but its annoying that this is news to the world.

[Dresta]

I've known about this since the 90's. There will never be a big crunch, the universe is expanding at an accelerating rate. It's inevitable. Things will expand and separate forever.

Not being a douche, but its annoying that this is news to the world.

Ok Nostradamus.

An accelerating rate of expansion does not disprove the possibility of a big crunch; here's a recent theory that argues the accelerating rate of expansion is a necessary precursor before collapse:

[QUOTE]In a paper published in Physical Review Letters, physicists Nemanja Kaloper at the University of California, Davis; and Antonio Padilla at the University of Nottingham have proposed the cosmological collapse mechanism and analyzed its implications, which include an explanation of dark energy.
"The fact that we are seeing dark energy now could be taken as an indication of impending doom, and we are trying to look at the data to put some figures on the end date," Padilla told Phys.org. "Early indications suggest the collapse will kick in in a few tens of billions of years, but we have yet to properly verify this."
The main point of the paper is not so much when exactly the universe will end, but that the mechanism may help resolve some of the unanswered questions in physics. In particular, why is the universe expanding at an accelerating rate, and what is the dark energy causing this acceleration? These questions are related to the cosmological constant problem, which is that the predicted vacuum energy density of the universe causing the expansion is much larger than what is observed.

"I think we have opened up a brand new approach to what some have described as 'the mother of all physics problems,' namely the cosmological constant problem," Padilla said. "It's way too early to say if it will stand the test of time, but so far it has stood up to scrutiny, and it does seem to address the issue of vacuum energy contributions from the standard model, and how they gravitate."

The collapse mechanism builds on the physicists' previous research on vacuum energy sequestering, which they proposed to address the cosmological constant problem. The dynamics of vacuum energy sequestering predict that the universe will collapse, but don't provide a specific mechanism for how collapse will occur.

According to the new mechanism, the universe originated under a set of specific initial conditions so that it naturally evolved to its present state of acceleration and will continue on a path toward collapse. In this scenario, once the collapse trigger begins to dominate, it does so in a period of "slow roll" that brings about the accelerated expansion we see today. Eventually the universe will stop expanding and reach a turnaround point at which it begins to shrink, culminating in a "big crunch."

Currently, we are in the period of accelerated expansion, and we know that the universe is approximately 13.8 billion years old. So in order for the new mechanism to work, the period of accelerated expansion must last until at least this time (needless to say, a mechanism that predicts that the universe has already collapsed is obviously flawed). The collapse time can be delayed by choosing an appropriate slope, which in this case, is a slope that has a very tiny positive value

[Nick Young]

I've known about this since the 90's. There will never be a big crunch, the universe is expanding at an accelerating rate. It's inevitable. Things will expand and separate forever.

Not being a douche, but its annoying that this is news to the world.

Buddha knew about this and is on record as saying it before you brah, thousands of years ago before you were even born. Stop trying to brag and act like a smart guy

[fiddy]

With news coming out that the Universe is coming to its dying years, let's take this chance to roast it. You've given us a lot of great times over the years, Universe. This one's for you.



RIP Universe

You learned about that from recent news? You ignit clown

[Nick Young]

You learned about that from recent news? You ignit clown

No. I learned it from his most high holy, the enlightened lotus blossom of the cosmos, lord Buddha.